TALKIN' VIDEOS

November 25, 2005

Run's House: Colorado Modeling Trip

Mexico's house is going to be temporarily converted into Run's House.

Unlike Ultimate Hustler, I've been catching a little bit of this show on bored afternoons. From watching the first few episodes I've gathered that everyone in this family is of below average intelligence or worse, making my job easy as fuck. This week's episode finds Run's daughter, Vanessa, going to Colorado for a shoot with the Ford Modeling Agency on a denim campaign (surprise). Of course the rest of the family must tag along. Shit, it's summertime! They ain't got nothin else better to do, right?

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Written by Ron Mexico on November 25, 2005 12:23 PM

December 2, 2005

Run's House: The Phenomenon

WHOOOO’S HOOOOUSE?!?! RON’S HOOOOUSSSE!

Okay, bitches. You're officially in My Spot: The Blog. Since a new episode of Count Chocula-- I mean Run’s House didn’t air in my location this week, I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss the phenomenon that is Joseph Simmons and his family being filmed in their natural environment for our viewing pleasure. Every nigga I know watches this shit damn near religiously. Why is this show so huge? Is there some kind of Popeye’s code at the bottom corner of the screen I’m missing? (Oh, I’m just playin, stop being such a sensitive bitch!)

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Written by Ron Mexico on December 2, 2005 12:14 PM

June 16, 2006

Run's House: Running Up the Score!

"Can we finish this match and then we can fight?”

Yeah, Jojo. That sounds about right!

Welcome to season two of one of my new favorite shows. Confused, displaced boughetto children with the weirdest Negro-musician/reverend since Al Green… What’s not to love? After raising enough of a spectacle to warrant an MTV series (renewed for a second season), Joey and Boo Boo decide to add yet another touchdown to the tribe. That’s a bombshell fit for a season premiere!

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Written by Ron Mexico on June 16, 2006 9:50 AM

June 23, 2006

Run's House: There's been trouble at home...

Okay guys, I know this sucks balls...

but Ronaldo hasn't seen this week's episode of "Run's House!

Reason: Last night there was a power outage on my ghetto-ass block. Slumlords haven't quite yet adapted to the multitudes of white folks that have moved into the buildings in Harlem with things called air conditioners. I'd heard about them "ACs," but saw one in person for the first time last week.

Anyway, no power, no "Run's House." I tried looking for it online on the popular bootlegging avenues, but came up with nothing. I'll be watching the repeat this afternoon and coming at you pretty much live as it airs! Just wanted to drop you all this line to let my peoples know that I'm not bummin out on ya. Just had some techinical difficulties. We gonna make it do what it do as per usual this afternoon to leave you with a smile (or hateful grimace) for the weekend!

Holler!
Ronaldinho
ronnie_mexxx@yahoo.com, www.myspace.com/ronnie_mexxx

Congratulations to all the winners of the Waist Deep Soundtrack giveaway!

For all curious, Larenz Tate's character on "Family Matters" was Willie Fuffner.

Written by Ron Mexico on June 23, 2006 10:43 AM

Run's House: The Heart Foundation

Question: What do black men hate more than police, country music and Clay Aiken?

Answer: Going to the got damn doctor! This week on "Run's House," The Good Reb'm [Reverend] GED (I don't think he's a doctor) is pressured to go get that 40-year-old checkup. I think part of why we don't like to go, especially at that age, is because we spend so much of our energy trying to stay out of prison and avoiding anal penetration. What nigga you know wants to just walk into it?

Nevermind... Don't answer that. I'm sure you know somebody.

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Written by Ron Mexico on June 23, 2006 3:37 PM

June 30, 2006

Run's House: This Is Not a Damn Game, Boy!

Look at Joey's face! The nigga is tired! What's the charge of this week's edition of "Run's House?" If the Caped Crusader doesn't find a way to "manage" his career and homelife, he will have raised the worst/dumbest criminals ever. Oh yeah, and the daughter who has one foot on a porno set and the other on a banana peel will have shot her first scene jerking some dude off with her feet.

Only a Simmons can give you that kind of love and tenderness!

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Written by Ron Mexico on June 30, 2006 10:07 AM

July 7, 2006

Run's House: Maxim-ized Potential

In an episode of "Run's House" that is light on the Good Reb'm GED Joseph Simmons' on-screen appearances, his presence is felt more than usual. In this episode we get to see how his Hot 97 "words of wisdom" have actually influenced his Runlings. Vanessa wants to go hop in front of a camera in rebellion; Angela wants to shake the finger that scared Nebuchadnezzar straight; Jojo's stuntin like his daddy; and Diggy & Russ apparently don't have opinions because Run didn't give them any yet.

Yep, that sounds about right. Oh... and Justine is a god-damned snitch!

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Written by Ron Mexico on July 7, 2006 9:19 AM

July 14, 2006

Run's House: Simmons' Vegas Vacation

Naw, this ain’t some Chevy Chase shit. This ain’t even the Johnson Family Vacation. This is wayyyy bigger! This week on “Run’s House,” the Simmons family packs up its Game Boys, makeup kits and paternity tests for Las Vegas! Daddy’s on bidness, but the kids are the ones that gotta get to work… ultimately so Daddy can get down to bidness. *wink wink*

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Written by Ron Mexico on July 14, 2006 10:37 AM

July 21, 2006

Run's House: The List

Catto Matte, everyone!

SOHH presents… a new kind of list. Apparently Justine’s efforts to communicate her resentment for being neglected and borderline verbally abused by her pimp Chief J. Runbone (oh, he’s never getting past that one) reach a boiling point, prompting her to devise a list for him to consider. Sadly enough, Clause 1, Article 1 apparently reads “Stop talking down to me like I’m a stripper named Chocolate Hamhocks.”

All she ever wanted was to bust down some chicken wings in peace, Runbone! What’s wrong with that?!

"They so crispy!"

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Written by Ron Mexico on July 21, 2006 9:27 AM

July 28, 2006

Run's House: NOT the Mama!

Keeping in the tradition of our ancestors, probably spurred by a new addition to the African Serenity room (these niggas have an African Serenity room?!), Chief J. Runbone embarks on a renewed mission to lead his family in spirit and action across the board. As Justine goes out to do some independent thinking and make a few career moves, Joey is left to care for the litter.

What's the over-under on a failed attempt at Hamburger Helper?

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Written by Ron Mexico on July 28, 2006 9:48 AM

August 4, 2006

Run's House: He Looka Like A Rappa!

My son can rap, right Brooke?

I really know how it feels to be... stressed out, stressed out. On this week's episode of "Run's House," The Good Reb'm GED is looking for ways to deal with the strain of pastorship, fathehood, rapstering and facilitating the creation of ugly ass shoes. Throw into the mix that his oldest sun Jojo has jumped from one bug to yet another and we've got a twisted episode ahead of us. No pun intended.

Jojo... Stick to managing Diggy.

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Written by Ron Mexico on August 4, 2006 9:57 AM

August 11, 2006

Run's House: Anger Management

She's not just diggin... She's diggin's inspiration!

Maybe it's not Kimora's fault. Maybe it's just the Simmons way to scurry about the family tree looking for nuts. Kimora stepped to Big Russell the exact same way a few years ago. "Daddy, I wanna do a clothing line..." Heh heh.

In addition, after watching Jojo coach Russy on how to trash Diggy WWF style, we embark on a 21-minute adventure to find the source of Lil’ Russy’s anger. This week’s episode of "Run’s House" includes more of what we love [to hate]. Wrasslin', nepotism and The Black Jessica Simpson: What more could a nigga need?

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Written by Ron Mexico on August 11, 2006 10:11 AM

August 18, 2006

Run's House: Never Can Say Goodbye

No, no, n-no now...

In easily the most poignant and touching episode of "Run's House" to date, Chief Runbone and tribe have to find a way to deal with the age-old notion that De Lawd giveth and De Lawd taketh away. Angela and Vanessa fly the coop while Justine's oven-roaster is browning.

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Written by Ron Mexico on August 18, 2006 10:04 AM