Recently in Flavor Of Love Season 1 Category

The bounce is back!... Your boy is back!

Just when you thought we were finished with "the train wreck," “Flavor of Love” makes sure to follow our bum asses up with the reunion episode “After The Lovin’.” I love how they set this shit up Jerry Springer style. Flavor Flav could have about 20 paternity tests in front of him. VH1 should have called ME to host this shit if they weren't gonna use Maury Povich! It ain't like they don't got my number, right?

*knocking on CB4’s bathroom door*
"The Champ Is Here!!!"

Unless you live under a crack rock, you are probably well aware that Hoopz knocked New York out of the box on Flavor of Love. Ron Mexico got to have quite the interesting chat with Nicole “Nikki” Alexander. The 313 representative took the gloves off and let it fly about her Flavorful future, getting it from her mama, and stealin on New York.

Seriously, homegirl Hoopz can talk her shit with the best of us. She belongs on Talkin’ Videos. For an audio version of the interview, check our the SOHH Podcast. Find out what Hoopz really thinks about Pumkin spitting on New York.

This goes out to my Brooklyn crew...

I think we all finally know what the Flavor of Love is. Watching New York and Hoopz lap chicken, weed, 20-rock and Pumkin residue off of Mr. Drayton’s lips will disgust me for the last time! This show is finally fucking over! Of course, the shit doesn’t go down without the sparks we would expect from a Hoopz/NY finale. Get your Vaseline ready and pull out all unattached hair beforehand.

Recognize that white girl?

In case you live under a rock: Brooke AKA Pumkin is the last of the Mohicans as far as the pigmentally challenged of the show go. Maybe she’s more like The Last Samurai. That was a white person too, right? Making it all the way to the final three, she was ousted by Flavor Flav and went out with an even bigger bang than Sweetie did. Pumkin hocked back a Ty Cobb-sized loogie and spit on a bitch.

This is her story.

For the weekend The Ron Mexico Chronicles leave you with our colorful interview with Schatar Taylor, better known to most as Hottie on Flavor of Love. The ever-enigmatic cake-a-holic takes the time to talk chicken, boobies, music and the bottom line… getting your paper strong like Hercules!

I think we're gonna have to entitle this particular profile "Real Talk." Tika Rainn, better known to the world as Flavor of Love's "Sweetie" sounds off on reality television, Flavor's mama and being a one woman "Freak Show" (among many other topics). Oh, if only everyone else could be so lucky as to shoot the breeze with this sharp young lady. Y'all are just gonna have to read and listen. Take my word for it. [audio coming soon]

Since Flavor Flav has already exposed these girls to mama turtle, he now gets to surprise the remaining girls by informing them that he will meet where his three finalists come from. I must say, much like Flavor's parental revelation, the similarities here are startling. Some of these girls came from a long lineage of hoes. Others are the descendants of crazy bitches. Oh, yeah... and some of them like to spit on people... and not in a sexy way.

Flavor Flav was definitely wearing the horns in this episode.

This week’s adventures of “The Luckiest Man in the World” find his attentions divided, then divided again. It’s like osmosis, well... more like os-ho-sis. The 4 remaining contestants are divided and conquered as Flavor Flav takes these broads (who obviously never been nowhere before) to a couple of hotels and spas and shit. You know, general crackdealer-to-wifey compensation interaction.

*Crocodile Hunter/lame Aussie voice* Let's 'ave a look now, mates!

A little white ago I had the pleasure of conversing with one Cristal Steverson, (not like the champagne) better known to you all as Serious on Flavor of Love. The sweet, down-to-earth Detroit native (currently residing in Atlanta) took the time out with Ronnie Mexxx to discuss life, love, media, entertainment and Flavor.

Don’t worry, people… I asked the good questions. Once again, we should have audio for this one sometime soon as well.

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!

Nothing says “Daddy loves his girls” quite like a good, old-fashioned polygraph test. No, that’s not the one that turns pink if you’re pregnant. It’s a lie-detector, bitches. As advertised, this week’s episode gets right the fuck down to business. Brigitte Nielsen pays what’s left of the Snatchbox 20 a visit. Under the direct instruction of Foofy Foofy himself she’ll strap it on and stick it to these girls in a very special way.

I also have a VERY special Valentine's Day message/massacre to deliver at the end of today's blog. You don't want to miss that shit, I promise!

Ain't no love... in the heart of the cit-tayyyy!

For your greasy-ass information and listening pleasure this week Ronaldo Horacio got to chat a for a spell with Thela Brown, better known as “Rain” on Flavor of Love. You may know her even better still as the girl voted “most likely to shank a bitch.”

The highly-animated Brown proved nothing short of riotous as we discussed television, love, beef and La Vida Flavor.

Ah! The kind of smile that could light a room up!

Since we’ve had such horrible luck challenging these girls’ intellect, talent and abilities, I guess he thought he’d challenge them at shit they had no control over and hope for better results. Being the genius and crack-spot pimp that he is, Huggy Bear, I mean Flavor, had his hoes lined up for a luck contest.

Taking your girls to a roulette wheel is like taking your retarded children to the shooting range. Hit or miss, it ain’t they fault.

This episode of Flavor of Love really had me fucking dying.

Last week we learned that you can’t make a ho into a housewife. This week we learned that we can’t make a ho love her some Jesus. This week’s challenge? Flavor Flav awakens the girls only to make them get dressed in 30 minutes (GASP!) and accompany himself and his mama, Mrs. Drayton to church... Then they fry some chicken.

…Oh, this should be fun.

Sup, It’s Ron Mexico. Welcome to this week’s installment of The Black-chelor.

I must say, I don’t think Foofy Foofy has enjoyed this kind of selection since he went to the All-You-Can-Smoke rock buffet on Jerome Avenue. Only after you have tasted a selection of afternoon delights of that sort could you embark on the world's oldest impossible quest: turning a ho into a housewife. I'm sure it's written somewhere in Leviticus that this is impossible, like looking directly into the sun.

Of course this doesn't mean it's not entertaining as shit to watch Flavor Flav try. Let Extreme Hoin' Challenge: Flavor Edition commence!