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Ok... to be honest with y’all.... I don’t watch MTV Cribs. At all. Why? Because half of the time, as well all know, these people’s houses aren’t theirs. I mean, when you have freakin’ Frankie Muniz from Malcolm In The Middle showing off his six drop-tops in the backyard... then you have to doubt the credibility of this show and it’s featured guests a lil’ bit.

However... this time, 50 Cent done let MTV crash all up in his house. And I decided to check this one out because we all know this pad isn’t fake (it used to belong to Mike Tyson , for goodness sake). So, I sat on the floor of my living room, expecting to see nothing but B.B.â€" Bullsh*t Bravadoâ€" and I wasn’t wrong. The editors (most likely, at the insistence of Mr. Jackson) came extra hard with the dramatic shot sequences. But I did peep some VERY interesting sights in Fif’s crib that I’d like to bring to your attention. If you peeped this last night, feel free to comment on it.

First of all... the show starts with Tony “I beat up 14 year old boys” Yayo driving up to “The East Coast Playboy Mansion” (or as I like to call it, “The Chipmunk Estate”) ... and there was a guy doing motorcycle stunts in the middle of the front paved lawn. Umm... is this someone that Fif hired to entertain incoming visitors, like a court jester or a trained monkey? I wonder how much he’s getting paid to nearly kill himself just so Fif can impress the hoes he’s bringing back to smash at the crib.

More on what being stanky rich will get you on the next page....

***IMPORTANT NOTE: Due to the fact that both the I Love NY season premiere and the VH1 Hip Hop Honors aired on the same night, to make things easier on myself, I am posting the Honors recap TODAY and the season premiere recap tomorrow. Thanks. ***

Ok, this is how I’m doing this recap. Instead of waiting until the end of the show to blog, I’m doing it as the show goes onâ€" so pardon if some of my sentences are quite random. It’s raw Breezy, unedited, unscripted, straight off the top of the dome. Plus, I want to get to bed SOMETIME tonight, so this is a lil’ easier. Bear with me.

Ok, note to VH1: If you're trying to get people to watch this, then DON'T rub them the wrong way with the choice of a host. Tracy Morgan? If I wanted to watch a crackhead on TV, I'd pop in my Chapelle Show DVD. True story, I've heard NUMEROUS stories about this guy's drug habit and seeing him at various BX bus stations looking strung out and sh*t. You think maybe he was born looking the way he does, or did snorting a brick a day do that to him? 'Cuz I swear, this dude looks like a chocolate covered Grinch.



Am I wrong?


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