Before y'all ask... Keyshia Cole got pre-empted for College Hill. Oh well.
But that's okay. You know what's so funny, is that I'm sitting here at my laptop after coming home from the nail salon (Breezy don't do tips, I get my own nails French manicured, thank you), and lo and behold... I found one of the videos that I've been waiting to debut for a minute.
KID SISTER IS THAT CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!
If you saw Chris Brown coming down the street in the middle of the night doing this in your direction... would you a) think he escaped out of the asylum, b) just finished snorting coke in an alleyway or c) is thrilled to finally be out of the closet?
Hmm. Jury’s out on this one. I know she was supposed to be like an "earth angel" but the way that girl was glowing would make you think she was a hallucination, right? Yeeaah Chris. ::cough, cough:: I choose Choice B! ::cough, cough::
Either way...blame Chris Breeze for the over-abundance of him twerking, poppin, lockin, whatever it is that he does... he co-directed this joint.
Sak pase, bytches!!
If you caught my earlier post at 9am, then you know that the reason I am not posting a recap for The Way It Is today is because last night, I attended a taping of VH1 Soul Soulstage featuring the crazycoolest Haitian on earth, Wyclef Jean. It was held at St. Ann’s Warehouse in DUMBO (also known as West Bubblephuck) and the purpose of the event was so that Clef could preview songs off of his upcoming album, The Carnival 2. The show will air on December 4th, the same day that the album will be released.
Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let me just say this:
If you’ve never been to a Wyclef concert, or missed seeing him at the West Indian Day Parade or something like that... then you need to get up on it... ‘cuz this dude can put on a show.
This dude had white chicks wining like we was back on The Parkway and shyt.
Did anyone even know that this video was out? I didn't. But, I found it... so here it goes.
Consider it an early Christmas gift from Breezy to all of you snappers & trappers.
No, guys. I know you might’ve thought it, but T-Pain ain’t about to fall in love with the pastor’s wife on this joint. Oh I’m sorryâ€" he’s a Muslimâ€" the mosque leader’s wife. Perish the thought! Y’all know that’s beneath him. ::snickers::
I rarely make this kind of comment but... why does it look like there is no T-Pain, just a bouncy, bright - a$s yellow blazer in amidst a sea of darkness?
That’s just wrong. That’s fouler than your performance at the VH1 Hip Hop Honors this year.
Noâ€" wait, I take it back. That’s fouler than dubbing yourself Teddy Verseti. N-gga, what the f*ck?! I can't even... man.... I'm gonna leave that one alone.
Aren’t we tired of hearing about Keyshia’s shoulda, woulda, coulda’s?
I mean, damn, girl... either it’s time to start coming up with new song titles, or just stop creepin’ back to Jeezy in your weak moments. Plain and simple.
First of all.. before I even get into this video, I just have to make this statement. HOW THE F*CK DID “BEAUTIFUL GIRLS†WIND UP BLOWING UP LIKE IT DID? I KNEW something was up when I walked by an American Eagle Outfittersâ€" mind you, I said American Eagle Outfittersâ€" and this song came from behind its doors. I didn’t know what to think of it, but went home, surfed the ‘Net and discovered that this song went platinum. Wow. Do you know how many institutionalized people at this moment are probably giving themselves flesh wounds with their teeth, wishing they had to chance to explain to the world what evil person caused their ultimate demise to the straight jackets and daily dosages of Prozac?
Sheesh. I guess some people just aren’t as lucky.
But I swear, if Sean Kingston comes out with one more, “Woe is me, mi gal left me†songs, I’m calling the G building on his a$s for real.
Where did the rude boy, “Beluga Heightsâ€-reppin’, gangsta- Sean Kingston go?
See what duetting with Fergie will do to you?
You and her proved that big girls don't cry... but apparently, BIG BOYS do... especially over an annoying reggae-pop beat.
'Sup, fam.
If you're like me, you've been waiting on pins and needles for this particular video to come out.
Why so, Breezy?, you may ask.
Because, hopefully, the video will make you & me like the song better. Now I have been a fan of this artist since Songs in A Minor. I felt that the album was a personal love letter written from Alicia's mind to my heart, letting me know that the sh*t I was going through at the time was going to get better ("Troubles" is forever one of my favorite joints). And it did.
So like I was saying, I am a bonafide Alicia Keys fan. I once trekked through the park where she filmed "If I Ain't Got You" (in daylight hours, of course, if you know anything about St. Nicholas Park) and almost coughed up a lung (those steps ain't no joke) just so I could say I did it.... like any one else that lives on 140th and Convent Ave. But so what if that makes me a cornball? I love her-- so f*ck you!
But this song? This sh*t almost made me choke back angry tears when I first heard it. I put up with the MONTHS upon MONTHS of living in a world of Rihanna/Beyonce/Fergie/Nelly Furtado/Ciara/SEAN MUTHAF*CKING HOT MESS KINGSTON mediocrity because I knew my girl was going to come back with some dope sh*t. AND THIS IS WHAT I GET? I'm REALLY trying to refrain from playing her, but I think Ms. Keys is entering the experimental phase of her career. Meaning, she decided to see how her voice would sound after downing 6 straight shots of Jack Daniels, smoking a cigar and eating those spicy hot wings that irritate her acid reflux.
Few things to mention about the video: I love how she gets all sexy on the piano around :40 seconds, as well as her "Flashdance"- inspired sweatshirt... I know a lot of you dudes were like, "damn, where's the water to splash all over her?" (If you saw the movie, you'd get the reference). But didn't she look a lil' braulic around 3:00, like she'd been putting in time at the gym? Go 'head Alicia. Just don't do any more of those crouching dance moves. You look like you're trying to do an illegal boxing move. No hitting below the belt!!
Still not CRAZY about this song, though. But I REFUSE to write her off. I still have faith.
I guess this can't be as bad as the next video...
Good morning, bytches!!!
Based on most of those comments from yesterday's Gucci Mane video... I ruffled some feathers, didn't I? Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Obviously some of you don't read the blog thoroughly! I DISTINCTLY said that I WAS NOT trying to HATE on the South, I was trying to UNDERSTAND what's going on down there. Maybe the "crunk juice" comment misconstrued my intent. But it was no reason to question my credibility or hate on my "Breezy" alias, as so many of you did... but, like my nature, I'm as cool as a summer's breeze, so it ain't nothing.
Second of all, I did NOT call Gwen Stefani a rapper, nor did I say she was hip-hop... the point of me including her new joint in yesterday's blog was because I PREFER LISTENING TO HER OVER GUCCI MANE, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Like y'all wasn't rapping this sh*t is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s! when "Hollaback Girl" came out. STOP TRIPPING. At least she works with respectable entertainers such as Dr. Dre, Eve, Swizz, hell, even Slim Thug got on the "Luxurious" remix! STOP TRIPPING.
But I did, however, enjoy reading this EXTREMELY SEXIST comment from a reader:
You're a broad. Your opinion doesn't count. And on top of that you listen to Gwen Stefani. You lost any hope for credibility when you said that. Women should just not allowed to be able to speak on some things.
We've come along way, baby. I won't shout out your identity, or anything like that but you know who you are-- go repeat that sh!t to your mother and see if she don't smack the taste out of your mouth.
But enough of that. The clouds have cleared, it's a new day.
Well, let's call it a night-- 'cuz I'm ready for "Bed".
Damn, I love this song. One of the best songs of the year-- period.
So, I'm finally giving y'all my take on the "Trapped In The Closet" saga.
Honestly, I haven't kept up with this soap opera at all. When I found out that Chapters 13-22 were going to be released, I thought, "well damn, what happened between 7-12?" The last one I remember seeing was the one that ended when R.Kelly (Sylvester) discovered that the cop that had stopped him for speeding on the way home was the same man his wife had been creeping with. But apparently, more scandals, lies and not to mention PEOPLE have been woven into the storyline [see photo below].
The Candy Shop's open! But sorry, we're only serving one concoction today:
"Chocolate Rain." Bon appetit. ::snicker:: [see below]
The first time I watched this video, I couldn't blink for a full minute.
Doesn't this dude Tay Zonday look AND sound like E.T.?! E.T.-- PHONE HOME, N!GGA!!!
At first i thought "chocolate rain" was going to be some euphemism people used when they want to be sh*tted on during sex (similiar to requesting a "golden shower").
But I was wrong... dead wrong.
Good morning, bytches! Wipe the cold outtta your eyes, it's Monday, time to wake your @$$es up! By the time you read this, you should be at work, not doing work, perpetrating a front like those office memos are getting typed ASAP.
Yeah f*ckin' right!
Just random bits and pieces today, and we're gonna start off with a particular r&b crooner's rather engorged bit:
Now, I don't know how old this is, so before you try to call me on its date, fix your face, I merely stumbled upon this.
But does it matter?
John Legend's a freak. We know that. Any man that can write a song about f*cking on a fire escape in the daytime is definitely capable of going Janet Jackson-esque on some chick in concert.
But what's up in those pants isn't a wardrobe malfunction!!
I don't know if he was actually into the girl, getting a mental picture of Kanye shirtless while wearing a custom-made pair of Louis Vuitton boxers or if he was simply getting turned on by his own sweat, but damn, Pa. Didn't know it was hangin' like that. Go 'head, Johnny!
And the girl? F*ck, I thought she was about ready to pin him down and sit on his face! And truthfully, I can't blame her for it. Gay or not, J.L. could sing any chick out of her panties if he wanted to. I'd give Legend a new workout plan if given the chance... but that's another story, another blog!
** Hope everyone had a good July 4th! We interrupt your regularly scheduled Throwback Thursdays to bring you this latest hot mess:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but, I'm guessing the rumors have proven to be true?
Please, CiCi, please. F*ck what you think, shawty. LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Yes, Ush. You and R.Kelly been f*cking the same chick. Experiencing any painful cramps or blood in your p*ss? One of y'all better get tested for a UTI or something.
Is this supposed to be Beyonce & Shakira's "Beautiful Liar"-- the male version? Because that's the impression I got! What about y'all?
I know you guys like to try and get on me because I'm not a natural comedian/comedienne like R.M., but I do what I do. Sorry, but I can't be anyone's doppelganger, I can only be me.
However, after watching this video I couldn't even dig deep to even try to muster up anything for this mess. Yep, I finally saw this video, and... well, what would YOU say?
I mean, is it not worth even TRYING AT ALL to make a good video these days?
