TALKIN' VIDEOS

July 12, 2005

Missy Elliott feat. Ciara & Fatman Scoop - "Lose Control"

I usually don’t start off a review like this, but… What the FUCK?!

At first I thought Misdemeanor had gotten on the Bobby Brown diet, but we can breathe a sigh of relief. She still appears to be on the Pharaohe Monch. Pasting her head onto the body of a video dancer to enhance the effect of anticipated weight loss is just another in a long line of spectacular camera tricks we have come to expect from Missy Elliott. Her new video “Lose Control” [watch it now] features vocals and dance stylings from Ciara and Fatman Scoop.

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Written by Ron Mexico on July 12, 2005 8:14 AM

September 6, 2005

Will Smith - "Party Starter"

Y'all want this party started right?... Y'all want this party started quickly... right?

Who better to set it off than the Fresh Prince AKA Mr. Jada Pinkett? Will Smith takes us on a hi-tech labyrinth ride that is the party his shiny (take it how you wanna) presence ignites with his newest video "Party Starter." [watch it now] Welcome back to MY world, Will. You got off easy with the "Switch" review because I am devout fan. Slap on the wrist twice, shame on me!

Besides, errbody know I rock the party that rocks the body!

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Written by Ron Mexico on September 6, 2005 11:02 AM

September 9, 2005

Black Eyed Peas - "Don't Lie"

Don't Lie... You sellout ass niggas are high on that shit!

The rap-sploitation all-stars have done it again! What great feat have they repeated whereas Ron Mexico would use an exclamation point? They've made another video that is good for one thing and one thing alone... HATE! The Watermlon and Collard Greens Crew's new video "Don't Lie" [watch it now] is one for the ages!... Okay, not really, but fuck with me.

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Written by Ron Mexico on September 9, 2005 1:32 PM

October 18, 2005

D4L - "Laffy Taffy"

I must apologize to Dem Franchise Boyz for being so hard on them. Apparently there are far greater evils in the world of rap... Namely their poorly developed clones.

D4L wants to share their sweet tooth with the world, and their knots of singles with some skrippers in the hip-hop farce "Laffy Taffy." [watch it now] Sweet Jesus, it's shit like this that gives the South a bad name. If I were below the Mason-Dixon I'd be offended. We might as well watch some blackface. In the meantime, we'll watch some gulz shake the Laffy Taffy and some brothers make damn fools of themselves.

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Written by Ron Mexico on October 18, 2005 11:22 AM

October 19, 2005

Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps"

What the fuck have you people requested? Didn’t you know you could control Black Eyed Peas with one finger?

The Black Eyed Peas show us their "lovely lady lumps" and little more in their newest video “My Humps.” [watch it now] You know… I heard this song once and laughed my ass off. This was the last song on that wretched album that I expected to see a video for, but the Black Eyed Gimmick never ceases to surprise, if nothing else.

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Written by Ron Mexico on October 19, 2005 12:41 PM

October 28, 2005

Murder Inc. Varsity Team - "Down 4 U"

Closing out a wonderful Murder Inc week we conclude the Pep Rally with the Varsity team today in [touch]“Down 4 U.” [watch it now]

Irv Gotti and his merry band of Murderers that includes Ja Rule, Ashanti, Charli Baltimore and the long-since forgotten Vita (my favorite murderer) show us what being an Inc-ster in the current millennium is all about… Really soft songs about chicks!

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Written by Ron Mexico on October 28, 2005 12:40 PM

November 18, 2005

Cee-lo - "Closet Freak"

I was gonna try to do something else, but the request line has spoken. You all want to end Purple Ribbon week with a video as strange as “Closet Freak” [watch it now] by an artist as strange as Cee-lo. Why people would want to subject themselves to this, I don’t know. I’ve re-watched it on your request, and I’m blind. Thank god I know where the home keys are.

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Written by Ron Mexico on November 18, 2005 12:27 PM

November 23, 2005

Bow Wow - "Fresh Azimiz"

Big Bow Wow feels the need to show us that he can get into a grown-up club in his newest long-form Clearasil advertisement Fresh Azimiz. [watch it now] Who’s got the hearts of the little girls in a tighter grip, Bow Weezy or the pterodactyl touchdown Chris Brown?

Doesn't Fresh Azimiz look like some Middle Eastern food?

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Written by Ron Mexico on November 23, 2005 8:00 AM

January 4, 2006

Black Eyed Peas feat. Q-Tip, Cee-lo, Talib Kweli & John Legend - "Like That"

Prepare yourselves for what I’m about to say.

The new Black Eyed Peas video is pretty damn dope! What feels like the 9th video from their latest album, “Like That” [watch it now] is a high quality, creative, aesthetically beautiful display that features some welcome familiar voices and faces in Q-Tip, Cee-lo, Talib Kweli & John Legend.

With that said, these niggas is still coons and they still fell off.

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Written by Ron Mexico on January 4, 2006 1:09 AM

February 17, 2006

LL Cool J feat. Jennifer Lopez - "Control Myself"

After a pretty heavy and pensive week on Talkin' Videos, I'm glad to leave you this weekend with some good old fashioned clownery. Talk about "niggas we didn't get to in 2005," LL Cool J and Jennifer Lopez finally make their way to Daddy Mexico's house. For their latest collaborative effort "Control Myself," [watch above] I'm glad to be able to serve up a nice steaming plate of hate and beans.

LL... Mama called. She told me to knock you the fuck out.

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Written by Ron Mexico on February 17, 2006 9:00 AM

April 5, 2006

Nick Cannon feat. Izzy - "Dime Piece"

This is April's top request so far? Sometimes I wonder about you people. Okay, here goes...

You know... it's hard to find good video hoes these days. They're all either famous and cost too much, or hugged up with Flavor Flav. Nick Cannon knows the game all to well. He dated a video ho with a record deal himself. For his next not-to-be-taken-so-seriously video, he's looking for a "Dime Piece" [watch it now] that hasn't been overexposed... or ran through.

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Written by Ron Mexico on April 5, 2006 11:03 AM

June 13, 2006

Field Mob feat. Ciara - "So What" video

Hmmm... these don't look like field niggas to me.

Finally in a place that looks nice and comfortable for them, away from the heat and whips, Shawn J and Smoke have the room to inhale something other than cotton particles. The end result? "So What," [watch it now] Field Mob and Ciara's straight-to-106 & Park contact-free teeny-bop circle-jerk. (That's a 3 hypenated word combo, people!)

Jazze's been a house nigga long enough to show these guys the ropes. They'll be okay.

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Written by Ron Mexico on June 13, 2006 9:15 AM

June 14, 2006

Pharrell feat. Kanye West - "Number One" video

Why did they let these 2 get together?

This is the kind of ego storm that could end human life as we know it! That’s right. We could all die in a shower of conceit, errant skeet and fresh-off-the-Skateboard Pee. What looks like a simple song for the chickadees is really this new metrosexual music superpower testing its reach. Ignore Pharrell, Kanye West and “Number One” [watch it now] to the best of your ability! They are the darkside.

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Written by Ron Mexico on June 14, 2006 9:23 AM

August 30, 2006

Diddy feat. Nicole Scherzinger - "Come To Me" video

"Y'all know what time it is! Let's make em dance!" -- King Diddy

Usually a Puffy jawn accomplishes that much, if nothing else. "Come To Me" [watch it now] is a worthless, steaming pile of Pussycat shit! This wouldn't have even made their album. Diddy tries to bring Danceyback in his own special, pre-packaged, dolphin-toothed manner. Bringing the top pussy along was supposed to ensure victory.

Ehhhh...

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Written by Ron Mexico on August 30, 2006 11:08 AM

August 1, 2007

Eve f/ Sean Paul-- "Give It To You"

Aight, fellas. Got some eye candy for y'all today.

Can I just say that I'm feeling Eve's look these days?

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Written by SOHH Breezy on August 1, 2007 9:00 AM

November 16, 2007

If Breezy Needs A Laugh, Then Damnit, Y'all Do Too... Check This Sh*t Out!!

Hey familia--

I KNOW it's Friday and what not, and y'all are probably worn down from the crazy week. So, I thought I would compile some comedy clips for y'all to check out and get your laugh on a lil' bit. Before we get into this, please note that these aren't EXTREMELY new, but I thought they would help take the edge off. See, Breezy ain't such a b-tch after all... in other words, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM TELLING ME TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE THE VIDEO YOU ARE WATCHING CAME OUT IN JUNE OR SOME SH*T LIKE THAT. THANK YOU!

Now let's get it.

Up first, we have an "Ordinary People" spoof entitled "Ordinary Ghetto". Why is this song so damn spoof-able? MAD people have done it, but I thought this one was good. Check out that DISGUSTING prego belly.

"We're just ordinary ghetto... and we watch 106 & Park"... oh my goodness....

You know u want some more... click below

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Written by SOHH Breezy on November 16, 2007 1:30 PM

November 20, 2007

Chingy f/ Amerie-- "Fly Like Me"

Soo... Chingy has a new video. Hmm. I had to check this one out because the 'Net's been a buzzing about how is new physique is off the chains and what not. Ehh. I still like a man that can probably pronounce the letter "Y", though.

Damn....

Fellas, please weigh in on this question: is it me, or are video girls getting uglier or more low budget? PLEASE tell me that the only reason these tired chicks were up in there was because DTP's funds STILL haven't recovered from all the Charm School Girls they used for "Celebrity Chicks".

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Written by SOHH Breezy on November 20, 2007 9:00 AM

December 3, 2007

Hurricane Chris f/ Boxie-- "Playas Rock"

I'm sorry y'all. I don't know how old this is, if someone else posted it, and frankly I don't give a damn. When I saw this vid from Hurricane Chris -tastrophe, I had to go in and lay my two cents down.

Yeah, I gotta agree. Collipark, you're definitely a fool for this joint. Seriously.

And I guess Chris must've took time to attempt to master the English language. Think he'll get it right on the next try? "Ay, no way! Ay, no way!"

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Written by SOHH Breezy on December 3, 2007 1:30 PM