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Monday Mayhem: Help Bishop Don Juan Save Britney Spears!, Khia's STILL Trying To Rap, and Some Funny A*s Skits!
Posted on March 17, 2008 9:00 AM
Wassup, y’all! Yup-- it's another Monday Morning Mayhem going down!
First of all, let me say Happy St. Patty's Day to all my drunkards! I I "Henny-N-Coked" it (Coca-Cola, not the Lindsay Lohan Special) over the weekend, 'cuz I gotta be straight for the work week. But drink a Stout for me tonight!
Sigh... After ten weeks (DAMN!) Mondays mornings without The Wire to talk about still seem a bit unreal to me, but still, we must perservere together.
Let me start off by talking about a disturbing fact that was revealed to me on Friday that was also discussed on the News portion of SOHH. Apparently, VH1 is doing a reality show entitled “Miss Rap Supreme”, hosted by Yo-Yo (yeaaaaah!) and MC Serch. The premise: 10 girls (a few of them melanin-challenged, admittedly) will compete in a series of tasks that will challenge their strength as rappers (don’t know if I wanna associate the word “femcee” with this show as of yet, except when talking about Yo-Yo.)
When I received the press release in my mailbox, I thought, “okay, I’ll at least check out the first epiosde when it premieres April 14th.” Mostly, I want to see whether or not this show would turn out to be another Celebrity Rap Superstar-- mostly a joke with only two females worth watching.
Heh. What I found MOST AMUSING?
When I read said e-mail more carefully, I noticed that there was a picture of the contestants attached. And sure enough, I was in for a helluva surprise. And I knew it was her. I could spot those unwaxed eyebrows anywhere.
If you’re still in the dark... one of women competing for “Miss Rap Supreme” will be none other than...
Wow. Common said it best: “it’s hard out here for these pimps, but extra hard for these hoes.”
Now I know I’m not supposed to call out a chick, especially in March, but come on... I always found this video HEE-F*CKIN-LARIOUS because the dude doing her toes looked like he didn’t even want to touch her, like he’d somehow contract syphilis through the toe nail polish.
But seriously.... was Babs from the first Making The Band too busy that y’all couldn’t get her? I checked out her Myspace, she ain’t doin’ sh*t worth mentioning!
Damn, reality TV makes my job WAAAAY too easy sometimes...
Thoughts/comments about Khia being on the show? Will you check it out just to see if she goes on ANOTHER rant about Janet Jackson?!
Now, y’all know that I am a sucker for parodies and funny sketches!
The ones I'm brining to your cubicle today come courtesy of actor David Spates, whose videos I stumbled upon while YouTub-ing. He has a slew of funny videos, including a specific bunch surrounding the adventures of a crackhead named Chris... check this one out. (And shout out to my boy John O. who also appears in the clip as the frustrated “victim”, lol, and don’t worry, y’all, those Making The Band Season 2 spoofs are on the way...)
"GET OUTTA MY FACE!... MY FACE!!" It is a drug, though...
I thought this other one David Spates did was particularly funny as well. Ladies! ALWAYS check to see if he owes your man money....
For more David Spates videos, visit http://youtube.com/davidspates
Okay, y’all will agree that I saved THE BEST for LAST....
I’m not even going to TRY and write an intro for this one.... except to say...
BISHOP DON JUAN WANTS TO HELP BRITNEY SPEARS?
Yeah, n*gga that’s all she needs, to be made into a legitimate whore to COMPLETELY f*ck up her disastrous life!
I mean, really... why specifically THIRTY-THREE minutes? Is that how long your “sessions” usually last?
On a serious note...I would be able to take the prayer more seriously if I didn’t come from an ex-pimp. I love how the website, helpbishopsavebritney.com deems him a spiritual advisor. SPIRITUAL ADVISOR?! Yeah, he advises what cognac to sip from the Pimp Cup!
Brit, spare yourself the further degredation, dear...
Aight y’all, that’s more than enough craziness for one Monday. Holla at me about the videos!
-- Breezylovesyababy@gmail.com
Comments
I think Mc Spider Pig (aka Breezy) should have signed up for the VH1 show along with Miss Melody and Queen Latifah, so all 3 of you fat broads could form the female version of the Fat Boys
When will somone put a stop to this nonsense. Apparently the tv producers thing the viewing public are just complete idiots and dont deserve anything with quality. Im fed up with it personally. They better watch out they might end up like the music industry. No one buying no one watching.
david spates is funny as hell i got one of the making the band skits on my page. as far as britney spears, Black people need to stop caring about white folks cause they damn sho dont care about us.
get out the slave mentality
http://www.myspace.com/jdubbthayounghectic
magic juan needs to sit his hippocriting azz down he can't recruit no better white girls than britney. oh yeah he;s thinking money the many trick s who will line up to screw britney yeah good plan bishop turn out the used up crackslut he'll make some money off her.
pimping ain't dead.
the David Spates videos, about the $500 was good...it show how fucked up women can b....all for the luv of money......anyway bishop needs to put briteny on his team....maybe the track will help her out. dark days dark nites.(pimp'n ken)
david spates need to come up with his own jokes, the one about the $500 is old, i read that joke in a magazine 2 yrs ago, another carlos mencia to me
david spates need to come up with his own jokes, the one about the $500 is old, i read that joke in a magazine 2 yrs ago, another carlos mencia to me
To Nig: I ( David Spates ) Do come up with my own jokes. Sometimes my fans send me text message jokes, like the one that you said you read, and if I think that it's funny I bring them to life by video so other people who never heard the joke before (like myself) can enjoy the joke. So next time you see a joke that you already know, just relax and just enjoy the joke maaaaaaaan! By the way just for your info if you would have gone to youtube, where I originally posted this video you would see all of this info in the video description. I give credit where credit is due. Now shut up, go to my youtube page and get your laugh on. :-)
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