TALKIN' VIDEOS

Y'all peeped this ep last night, so y'all tell me... who do y'all think was the biggest Diva last night?

Hmm. Hard to point out a specific member of Day26, huh? Figured that.

Before I go heavy into the re-cap, I just have to say one thing. Usually, I hate P. Sh*tty's lil’ interruptions during the broadcast... BUT I LOVED HIS “BITCHASSNESS BULLETIN!”! Mad props to Sean John for calling Que out on that one-- it was deserved.

So, at the top of the episode, Diddy reaches deep into his bag of tricks and pulls out all types of producers (read: lukewarm n*ggas who all think they're hot sh*t & proceed to perpetuate their delusional states of reality by wearing dark shades indoors) to work on DK, Day26 and Donnie's albums, such as Jim Beanz (yeah, this is the MAIN n*gga that needs to STOP IT), Mary Brown, Seven (who should be focusing on resurrecting the careers in people in his own camp (Ashanti) before broadening his horizons), and last, but certainly not least... Mr. "That's Why I'm On The Covaaa!" Bee Cocks.

And ahhh, yes, the conflict is set up. Day26 is meshing well with the producers, and DK is not. Hmm... what perturbs our lil' kitties?

Before I answer my own gotdamn question, riddle me this: Has Puff chosen these "elite" group of people to work with Cheri Dennis? 'Cuz that chick can't sing worth a damn! (she's cute, but that joint that she had out, "I Love You", made me believe that she has no pipe game whatsoever-- at least, with singing.)

Apparently, Danity Kane isn't feeling the direction that the producers have decided to take with their new album. Instead of doing the “oohhh, I got my man, yay, the world is back on its axis once again” joints, the girls want to do a dance/pop/international album (I'm thinking like Kylie Minogue/Janet type ish?) Then they go on to say that they wanna make “empowerment songs” (aka "My coochie is da bomb and you cant have any... at least, if I give you some, don’t put the whole crew on" type songs). Yeah, we know the deal!

Ya girl Aubrey does a good job of masking their purpose though:

“We are strong women, and we want to be able to let you know what’s up.”

Oh now I get it– they wanna go the Destiny's Child route! Heh, heh, heh. Go ahead-- we KNOW how THIS story ends.

They are also upset that Day26 seems to be getting hot tracks, and their not. Aaaah, go suck on an egg. Let them get a lil' burn-- they're really gonna need it.

I guess the guys start really feeling themselves a bit too much, because they all go out and the guys are the ones getting twisted. Especially Robert, who proceeds to further perpetuate his bitchass persona. Hah! I thought thick and tall guys were supposed to be able to hold their liquor! Lightweight a-s mutha...

ANYWAY, the guys are in no way able to keep up with the scheduled workouts with the trainer the next day. It's bad enough Rob's throwing up all over the place, but ya man Country Dumb decides to play possum. The whole thing reminded me of the time when Mike Biv took the guys out on the basketball court and we discovered that NONE of these guys could play.

So, what happens next is expected. It's time to hire a new Den Mama, aka Michael.
I was hoping that Diddy would bring back Jason from Making The Band 3 (I LOVED HIM), but ya man stepped up a notch and hired an ambiguously gay WHITE GUY.

Damn, Diddy. You should really just put out announcements in the Village Voice right next to the escort service ads -- "Need a job? Come be a whipping boy to my brats and you'll be on TV! Call Diddy! It's Bad Boy baby-- and I just might f*ck you!"

General consensus on Michael?

DK feels him (because most females LOVE gay men) but Day26 don't like him-- after they found out that he wasn't the maid. Or, as Big Mike so eloquently puts things (as he does EVERY episode):

"There’s a man at the door. And he wants to be called Den Mama! That ain’t right!"

Sigh. These guys are SO BRAND NEW, like they've never peeped an episode before-- EVER.

Their disdain leads them to devise a plan to get rid of Den Mama-- or, at least, to torture him. They craft a plan to have Mike crying by a pool (because Diddy has told him to lose another 10 pounds, ha ha ha) and after Den Mama's guard is down, the other guys come behind him and push him into the pool. (Oh yeah, I don't know if I mentioned this, but they're still in Miami at the time of this episode).

I have to admit-- the prank was pretty funny. But they lucky that it wasn't Jason, 'cuz first thing he would've done was lock Big Mike in a dark closet with a treadmill and said, "Baby, you're just too much! It's just too much!", then go snitching to Diddy about the prank.

Danity Lame (yes, they were lame for this) attempt to stick up for Michael and retaliate by making the guys believe that they were going to feed them, then throw cake in their faces at the barbecque. It was really wack-- until Donnie smacked Aubrey with cake in the midst of her "you don't mess with the gay community!" tirade. Ha ha.

So, yeah, let me wrap this up with the "pimp and ho" situation.
When you have a bunch of girls working for you and they don't like the way ish is going down, sometimes once decides to speak on behalf of the other ... chicks. Of course, this was Aubrey. She challenges one of the producers, who calls Diddy and informs him of the situation. But when Daddy comes back to down to extend his pimp hand, Aubrey has lost all the bite in her bark (and sistagirl sass at that). However, the girls come together as a unit and stand up for what they want (including D. Woods, but its hard to take her seriously with that ridiculous haircut), and Puff actually apologizes to them for not being "a good coach". Now I really don't understand why he didn't let them have it-- this completely baffled me. I was REALLY hoping for a Laurie-Ann situation. Ahhh well.

Oh yeah-- for those of you who are interested, I did peep --ahem-- Sean Combs in A Raisin In The Sun last night. He was okay, but I couldn't get past his whole "take that, take that" persona, and it's weird to stare at Diddy sans shades for three hours. Audra McDonald was EXCELLENT, though.

NEXT WEEK: Don't do it, Dawn! Don't surrender to the bitchassness!

Questions? Comments? Hit me up here or Breezylovesyababy@gmail.com