TALKIN' VIDEOS

It's the moment you've been on pins and needles for.
Teenage girls have been patiently awaiting this day, as well as sexually confused boys and 30 year old women that secretly pine over Trey Songz and Chris Brown.

It's Bad Boy, baby. TIMES THREE. Take that, take that, take that!

Are you ready for this sh*t? 'Cuz I sure ain't.

So what did y'all think of the Season Premiere? Not exactly a "showstopper"...
Glad to see Diddy's still got that dramatic music following him in slow-motion from scene to scene, though. You cease to disappoint me, my n*gga!

So... let's get the basic premise of this season out the way before we go into actual details of the episode. Papa Diddy Sean John has decided to, ahem, wage a war amongst his six new protegees (just to remind you, that's Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky... oops I'm sorry, I meant Brian A, Willie, Donnie, Qwannell, Robert, and ya man Big Mike) by having them complete their albums in about five weeks.

But boom! Guess who's also in the mix, stepping out of their limo like the baby Beyonce's they aspire to be? DANITY LAME!!!

The whole point is so that all three entities can go out on a lil' Making The Band tour later on.
Damn... I KNEW something was up when they were featured on the season premiere last August!

Question: Why, Diddy? Why? I mean, I know these girls went platinum... oooookkkaaaay... but who's really blasting the album in the whip? 12 year olds riding shotgun with their daddies? Come on, pop! But whatever, I don't hate on anyone's hustle... much.

I guess the big thing everyone wants to discuss is the obvious sexual tension between Donnie and Aubrey. I swear, white people flirt so stupidly. What the hell was up with that bogus rumor about him doing something nasty in a hotel in Anaheim? How was he supposed to respond, "naw, baby, you know that's the game for ya... how you doin'?" Come on now. This dude is like Justin Timberlake without the swag. Or, rather, as my man Willie stated in a very gramatically incorrect-yet-extremely-eloquent way:

"“I don’t know what’s gonna happen between Aubrey and Donnie.. Aubrey wild, man.. Donnie not.”

She's definitely on the prowl, though. So are the other chickies-- yeah, I saw you Dawn, peepin' at that fine @$$ Qwannell-- put that young boy up on some game!
But seriously, when they first sat down with the guys, I was like, "damn, Papa John has his princesses locked up in a tower with chastity belts on or something? Wipe off your seat!"
But yeah, homegirl is ready to go Lady Godiva on the boys; she can't decide whether he wants Willie or Donnie. But based on the previews for following episodes... there might be some melanin-challenged lovin' going on in the House of John. Hmm.

Let me stop for a second. What did y'all think of the club scenario? All I got to say is this:
Big Mike… you don’t drink? Hmm.. you may’ve played it innocent for Papa John's cameras, but I got sources that may beg to differ with your so-called teetotalerism. And And correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he have a sip at the strip club last season? Whatever. This won't be the last time we witness some bullsh*t from this n*gga.

The episode's highlight for me was of course, the conversation between Aubs and Diddy. Diddy straight up tells Aubrey that her actions are holding The Lames back and he "ain’t gonna let her f*ck up the money”. Hell to the naaww-- better straighten up your act, chick, this n*gga ain't for play-play, he got kids to feed, baby mommas to ice up, and hushed gay lovers to satisfy! At first, I thought he was gonna talk about the fact that she pretends she’s Christina Aguilera’s little sister (back when she was X-Tina and rockin’ those ass-less chaps), but this n*gga is talkin about her choice in weaves, and eye color and sh*t. What the f*ck? Sean Johnny, you’re MAAAD gay for honing in on that. However, he does mention her being featured on TMZ and such… but what’s funny is that they don’t talk about their rumored relationship, and the “baby” she was allegedly pregnant with sometime last year. Seriously, ma, between you and Cassie, and I don’t know how Sean had the time to even f*ck that side broad and bore his 8th child, or whatever number he’s up to now. Hmm. What’s funny is that Auberella (her freak name) states how their relationship is a difficult one because they constantly “butt heads”. Sweetie, let me school you: Most f*ckbuddies can’t stand each other, ma ma, real talk.

Lastly... what did y'all think of the music? I think the best of the episode was The Band's track, "Co-Star". It sounded very 112-esque to me, and Brian A.'s vocals do remind me of Daron's... sexy yet gratingly annoying at the same time. I think, with fine tuning, it will be a winner though.

This is my final thought on the premiere, and I want y'all to think about it, take it seriously and comment on it.

I am worried that this show is going to lose the little bit of integrity it has managed to gain in the last season. It was the only time I ever felt respect & real compassion for the contestants as our guys’ struggle and hunger was clearly conveyed on television. Maybe it’s a lil’ too early to tell… but I feel like this may turn into just straight scandal, no substance. At least, I feel like I’ll spend more time blogging about how many times the couples managed to f*ck without getting knocked up. AND on top of that, I miss Mike Biv and Ankh-Ra. To me, they also gave the show validity, as their sole job was to aid the guys in becoming vocalists and performers.

Or maybe I should just chill the f*ck out... "it's only entertainment!"

NEXT WEEK: This is Making The Band, shorty… what the f*ck you THINK is gonna happen? Some real predictable, unpredictable sh-t! All I know is that they better ackrite... because all of them could get the Laurie-Ann special at any hour. Anytime.

WHO LOVES YA, BABY?
-- Breezylovesyababy@gmail.com