IT'S THE BREEZY'S, BEYYOOOTCH!
Cue today's theme music: Shannon-- "Let The Music Play"
Okay... okay... enough with the Puerto Rican anthem. We got more
::sings:: Let the music play... we won't get away...
Okay, CUT THAT SH*T. We got bigger fish to fry-- artists who apparently didn't know when to let their music (or their music videos) STOP.
2007 was a year full of good music videos... but mostly bad ones.
Which is why Breezy is back to bring y'all PART TWO of the 2007 Breezy's... and this time we're sh*ttin' on the music videos!
Some of these awards might shockyou. Some of them might piss you off.
Some of them might make you say, "heeeelllll yeeaaah!"
Ready? Let's go get 'em.
WORST VIDEO OF THE YEAR: Kia Shineâ€" â€œSo Krispy.â€
You know that junk food enthusiasts nationwide wanted to smack the sh*t outta this n*gga for this one. When you're rhyming "Krispy" with the price of your clothing, itâ€™s time to put down the Fisher Price mic and re-read a dictionary, a thesaurus... something!! But did he take heed? No... he still went ahead with releasing Due Season. Wow, you suck, dude.
Hooked On Phonics Presents: DUMBEST VIDEO OF THE YAR: Beyonce, â€œKitty Katâ€.
Really now... truth be told, I actually like the track. Sh*t, I actually had to put this on my voicemail to send a clue to a dude that tried to get slick with me. But she couldâ€™ve did this MUCH better. A lilâ€™ too Jocelyn Wildenstein, not enough Laurie-Ann Gibson for my taste. Yeah I said it... Bee coulda used some boom kat kat-ness for this one.
LAZIEST VIDEO OF THE YEAR: Jay-Z â€œRoc Boys (And The Winner Is)â€
Never too far from his boo, Jigga's also winning an award this year! Please, don't come up to the podium to accept together, you guys. It ain't necessary.
Now you know I got love for Big Hova. But letâ€™s keep it real Forget about the lilâ€™ â€œHello Brooklynâ€ sequence at the beginning. This n-gga said. "F-ck a video treatment, I'm too old for this sh*t. I'm CEO CARTER! (Well, he was) Iâ€™m calling up everybody in the SK3, and we're just gonna meet at 40/40 dressed in black and MAYBE I'll let 'em sip on Ace of Spaces for free... if I feel like it. SCCHWEET!" The result? Too many Black people (and Mariah Carey, depending) in the same place at the same time = the Black Sopranos. L'Chaim!
SLEPT-ON VIDEO OF THE YEAR: Common f/ Lily Allen-- "Driving Me Wild"
You know what? There were a lot of bullsh*t videos that came out this year with either no concept whatsoever, or the concept made no damn sense. Sometimes, while watching a video, you confused the two. But this video was truly one of the best that came out this year; it was avant-garde, but not too much that it almost clashed with the song (i.e. Lily's astronaut outfit actually being mentioned in the lyrics). But did you expect anything less from the man who released one of the best hip-hop albums of '07?
*Honorable Mentions* Talib Kweli -- "Hot Thing" || Kanye West-- "Stronger"
MUSIC BEEF OF THE YEAR WE DIDN'T GIVE A F*CK ABOUT: Fergie Vs. Nelly Furtado
Apparently... Fergie Ferg and Nelly ARE Hollaback Girls! Seriously... did anyone know about this? Yeah? I thought so. SHUT THE F*CK UP, BYTCHES Look, both of yâ€™all probably f-cked Justin Timberlake (well... itâ€™s a proven fact on Fergieâ€™s end). Just SHUT THE F-CK UP and continute to rape the hip-hop culture as usual.
KARRINE STEFFANS LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: Lil Wayne
I mean, doesn't it make sense? He's already proven that he'll f-ck with anyone if he can get publicity price is right. (Look for that Lil' Wayne/Britney Spears album next year!!) Reckless things come out of his mouth. He rides the white horse. HE WAS EVERYWHERE YOU WANTED HIM or DIDN'T WANT HIM TO BE THIS YEAR!! He has all the makings of a crack whore. In the words of his OWN sh*t, "if you made it rain, [he] would be under the weather." Aight, Wayne. We got it. Now go die. OH WAIT-- you already killed yourself on "Hello Brooklyn"!
(NOTE: Lilâ€™ Wayne also won this yearâ€™s Video Vixen Award)
LET'S BURN THIS N*GGA'S RECORD CONTRACT AWARD OF THE YEAR: Soulja Boy
Soo... it's acceptablet to bust off on a chick's back while she's sleeping, stick a sheet on it and then DANCE ABOUT IT LIKE A COON? Yes.. thank YOOOOUUUUUUU for exacerbating the mental retardation problem in this country!
*HONORABLE MENTION* Gucci Mane
Alas.. the most coveted award of the night... are you ready?
BEST VIDEO OF THE YEAR: UGK f/ Outkast-- â€œInternational Playerâ€™s Anthem
MTV will most likely NOT agree with me, but does it look like Breeze gives a f*ck? This video is HOT, and Iâ€™m not blowing it up because of the recent passing of Pimp C. Matter of fact, I remember this was the 2nd video I ever blogged since I started working at SOHH and I KNEW that this would be the best video effort the hip-hop industry was going to offer, hands down. Outkast has always given us those crack videos, and this was definitely up to their usual standard. Plus, Pimp C's white mink steals the whole show. RIP.
***** Aight y'all, I'm out for this installment of The Breezy Awards. Remember you have ONE DAY LEFT to vote for Best Online Sketch Comedy at BreezyLovesYaBaby@hotmail.com. Part Three-- THE WEB VIDEOS-- WILL AIR DECEMBER 31st, 2007 and these awards will ALSO be announced on Equilibrium Radio (WHCR 90.3 FM) New Year's Eve TakeOVER (I will have more info for you about that on Monday. Until then...
WHO LOVES YA, BABY?