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The Salt N' Pepa Show Ep. 2: "Here's to finding a man that I'll want to rip his clothes off on the first date!"

Posted on October 23, 2007 9:00 AM

Well... that about explains it all, doesn't it?

Damn Pep-- you ain't did nothin' in two years? I mean... I guess there's only but so much a dildo can fulfill you. Word.

Shout out to Dashing Diva, where Pep and her girlfriend are discussing the double-date at the beginning of the episode. Ladies, your nails and feet will be looking RIGHT when you come out of there, PLUS if you go on a Thursday or Friday evening, they serve free cosmos! Can we say "sexy 'n' the city"? (They're not the neighboorhood Hua-Ching Nails though... it's a bit pricey.)

But I agree with Salt-- who meets a guy you want to take seriously at the club? I ain't tryna meet my Prince Charming at Bungalow 8, you know? That reminds me of this time I went dancing with some girlfriends at Iguana's in Midtown, and this random Pretty Ricky-ish dude and I started dancing. It was cool, but then he tried to get all up in ear with that, "Ma, where you from, where you stay at? You wanna drank?" I was like "whoa-- I'm not that dumb whereas I think you and I are about to make an instant love connection. For all you know, I could be here trying to escape my man!" But all I said was "first of all, you ain't Southern-- kill that fake @$$ Joc impression RIGHT NOW", then proceeded to go to the bar and buy MYSELF a margarita.

If you date a guy who you met at the club, you will wind up with someone that is "33 but still 19".. which is what Pep finds munching next to her during the initial double date. Come the hell on, dude! You should've gotten dismissed right then and After that faux pas, the brother gave up waaay too much info for a first date. We don't need to know how you almost got bodied by your ex girlfriend-- couldn't you have let it wait for 1 month for Sandy to find out that you're a dog?

So, with that being a failure, Pep decides to take it a step further and call in a professional-- a gay matchmaker. No, HE's gay-- he's not hooking her up with a woman, sillies! But for some odd reason, Sandy invites Cheryl... and things get a lil' testy between the two.

Did y'all peep the look on Pep's face when Salt told the Hispanic version of Hitch that she was going to help him find a man for her? It was like-- "Eff the VH1 money... I'm 'bout three seconds from slappin' this b*tch!" Personally, I HATE when married friends try to hook up their lonely, desperate --oops, sorry, I mean SINGLE friends-- it NEVER works out, as you will read a little later.

But I have to admit... Salt was asking the right questions during the interviews with the potential candidates for Pep.
I mean, those guys... ughhh.... they ALL tried to front when asked about their cheating ways. And that wannabe Babyface-looking dude with the shades that couldn't define was constitutes "dating" a person? He could go to the left, to the left... to the nearest gay club because it was more than obvious that he was a closeted homosexual. Looked like he was there for the matchmaker rather than the matchmaking!

Feeling defeated, Salt decides to take matters into her own hands (which, telling by her husband's eye roll, he does NOT approve of) and hook Pep up with Mark-- a youth pastor... which is like almost like Lil' Kim dating Pope John Paul II. He's kinda cute, though, in an Al Roker/Cedric The Entertainer kind of way. I can dig it. But not for Ms. Sandy Denton.

Was that date awkward or what? Sh*t, even I felt uncomfortable-- and I was at home watching on televison!

Did y'all check the "this n-gga ain't hood! I shoulda stayed with Treach!"-esque look Pep gave him when he walked through the door? I could've died. What's even worse was that the entire time, Salt was cheesing at them so hard like she was watching her genius master plan play out. Sorry Pinky, you ain't taking over the world yet, because something about the way the pastor complimented Pep's outfit made me ready to kick him out of the house.

Sigh.. a man that will make you abandon your proper judgement and let him hit after dinner and drinks is hard to find, Pep. We feel your pain.


Next week: Pep vacations a bit at the Holy House of Salt... it's about to be a --what!-- a girlfright!!

Tomorrow, I'm checking out the first episode of College Hill, as they bring the ghetto-ness to the corporate world and become interns! Peep it at 10pm tonight so we'll have something to talk about.

Last bit: @ Dodo, your comment struck a nerve in me last night. I'ma keep it real--
to tell you to hold ya head may not seem like much, especially coming from some chick in a computer, but I'm feeling what
you said, and my thoughts are with you. No matter what, when things get rough... don't let NO ONE steal your dignity, but it seems to me that you've already gotten that under control. You get mad props for that. KEEP STRIVING, and thanks for your honesty.

WHO LOVES YA, BABY?
-- Breezy

Posted by SOHH Breezy

Comments

  • ONE says...

  • Shout out to Dashing Diva??????
    Are you kidding me? Giving shout outs to businesses, now?

    Shout out to Fantasy Island... The massage joint I go to, on Thursday they have their Korean special. Oh, and shout out to Popeyes and the corner store(they got them Buy 2 get 1 free Newports)... Breezy you are crazy!

  • October 23, 2007 10:33 AM
  • Sinistah aka Sour-Kush Diesel-Piff Sr. says...

  • yo One, where you at wit them buy 2 get one free Newport spots at..... Dave Chappelle wasn't lyin when he said niggaz love menthol....

    Dashing Diva, lmaoo sounds like a spot where jump-off's, buss-downs, and hood-rodents congregate, especially for the complimentary drinks (no disrespects)

    and damn after watching all these lame ass dudes on reality shows, i know i'm what most ladies are missing with no sign of doubt about dat shit, Pep could have my 28yr old, childless, mentally stable ass any day, cause i like her tits, but damn i hope that "lameness" factor don't kick into gear in 2 more yrs for me....


  • October 23, 2007 11:43 AM
  • marie says...

  • Wait a minute! i know i aint been to the website in a while but first and foremost where is Ron Mexico? Second, where are the comments on I love New York 2 and third aint nobody gone say nothin bout the new season of the Boondocks? Come on what is going on with ya'll behind the website? keep up niggas! damn ya'll gay!

  • October 23, 2007 12:14 PM
  • Amarie4911 says...

  • Correction: Pep did not invite Salt to join the matchmaker, Salt invited herself. A lot of people have been ragging on Salt and her devout ways but I say if it works for her and she's happy, then let her be. However, I have plenty of friends who have lifestyle choices different than mine and I don't try to impose my beliefs, lifestyle and opinions on them. If she found God again and is living life as a born again Christian, then why make it know every second of the show. I know plenty of Christians and Muslims who have changed their lives and tey don't have to tell people or make it known, just being around them you can tell that they are happy and that they love their God.
    And there is nothing wrong with Pep being attracted to bad-boys, perhaps she needs to find a reformed one who still has the edge but now sees that whoring around, playing video games and going to jail is not cool for a 40 year-old man. Much luck to Pep and I hope that she finds a man that will take care of her the way she will take care of him. Meaning, no scrubs who move from their momma's house into hers. And Salt, worry about your own marriage, your husband looks bored.

  • October 23, 2007 1:45 PM
  • Bird says...

  • I liked the show last night. I guess Salt is just always going to be a mama and will never treat Pep like a peer.

    Although dudes game was non exisitant I think think he was horrible on the eyes and he is a business owner. Pep could have given the dude a chance for one regular date. Not everyone is camera ready. He might just have been nervous.

    So when are the girls going to do a performance?

  • October 23, 2007 2:18 PM
  • Sherance says...

  • hell I'll screw pepa ain't no way she had'nt had sex in 2 years women love lying like that.

  • October 23, 2007 5:17 PM
  • EST says...

  • Breezy you should be fired for wasting the first couple of paragraphs yapping about your dating experiences, no body cares. Just report what happened on the show and that's it, damn all the extra stuff.

  • October 23, 2007 5:36 PM
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  • October 23, 2007 11:30 PM
  • standupguy says...

  • Breezy do you have a man ? are you married?

  • October 24, 2007 3:45 AM
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  • May 21, 2008 10:14 AM
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  • May 30, 2008 11:04 PM
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  • June 13, 2008 8:34 AM