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TALKIN' VIDEOS - the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos

Celebrity Rap Superstar-- Viva La White Girl! We're Down to the Wire, Now!

Posted on October 12, 2007 9:00 AM

It’s Breezy on painkillers, bytch! Yeah, I’m in a lot of pain tonight, but I know y’all don’t give a f*ck so lemme just get into it...

This is the SECOND TO LAST episode of Celebrity Rap Superstar, which I know most of you are THRILLED about. But you gotta admit, it’s been quite the lil’ experience. Perez summoning the Gay Mafia while doing Kanye’s “Jesus Walks”, the Jason Wahler taking the show as serious as Bobby Brown’s heart attack, Efren Ramirez, also known as the Lil’ Vato That Could.... yeah, MTV DEFINITELY pushed it with this one.

And now, it’s almost over.

Does this mean that Andy Milonakis’ show is gonna come back? Now HE was the sh*t!

So far, two of the celebs are going to be going to go head-to-head to battle it out to see who is going to the final two...which basically means... either Kendra or Sebastian Bach are going head to head to take it against Shar in the finals.

OMG.... MTV just lost ANY kind of credibility that they desperately clung to tighter than Marion Jones’ reluctance to relinquish her Olympic medals. Kid Rock’s daddy is going home! That’s right, Sebby! Tell ‘em off! America doesn’t suck– it’s those f*ckin drunk white boys that suck! How y’all gonna do my mans dirty like that? Are you voting on Kendra's skills, or on her outfits? This isn’t Celebrity Rack Superstar! But he just dropped some knowledge– his new album, Angel Down is coming out later this year and DMC and Kurupt will be featured guests. I might have to download that. Then, K. Hart got the nerve to say, “but we want you to perform at the end of the show, though!”

Sebastian Bach, if you're reading this, you are waaaay too nice, dude. The proper response to that would be to scream, “f*ck you, Choco-Smurf! I’m out!” then throw up the rock devil horns, exiting stage right. But whatever.

So the chicks have to perform THREE songs tonight. Oh damn... I can just fel the migraine I’ve had since 5pm just intensify. I feel like, why am I recapping this? Isn’t it MORE than obvious that Shar’s taking this crown? But... due to the first couple of minutes of this show, I could be wrong. Speaking of which... did Lil’ Kim have a garage sale that I didn’t know about? That is the ONLY excuse for that stanky outfit she wore tonight.

Kendra’s Performances:

Nelly’s “Hot in Herre”– She killed me when she said, “I feel like I’m not even rapping, I’m singing!” Well, hello, b*tch, are you NOT familiar with the music of the Bandaged Bandit? At least YOU’RE aware that he’s not rapping... you get half a credit for that .

Sir Mix A Lot– Okay, do I REALLY have to say which song the public chose for her? I like big butts, and I cannot lie... that it would make sense for you to perform this if you HAD one, Kendra. But she tworks it hard though. She needs to pay Britney Spears a visit and help girlfriend get her groove back.

Shar’s Performances:

Missy Elliot’s “Get Ur Freak On”– HOLLLLLAAAAA! It wasn’t my favorite SHAR-JAYZEE performance, but damn ma... you should’ve been at the VH1 Hip Hop Honors! Even though she messed up a bit, she didn’t do it like Lupe did– but it’s okay, I’ve let that one GO.

Young Mc’s “Bust A Move”– I’m feeling it... she’s getting the lyrics right, but she must be feeling threatened by the lost Pussycat Doll because she’s tryna be cute! F*CK her Shar– just do you, ma! I just had a random thought– wouldn’t be HIGHLY amusing to see Shar JAYZEE bust out Busta’s verse to “Scenario”– or even better– “Get At Me Dog”? I know, I’m bugged. It’s the painkiller I took earlier– don’t blame me.

Disturbing news, people!
HELL MAWWWWFUGGIN NAW!! Mr. Collipark is on the show, and helped BOTH Shar and Kendra produce an original song? He should even be EMBARRASSED to show his face after admitting that he produced “Crank Dat Soulja Boy.” If I was him, I’d desperately seek out living under the Witness Protection Program .

Thank God you got out with your dignity still intact, Sibby B. Sort of.

So let’s get into the original songs, part deux (didn’t they do this already, like four episodes ago? Y'all can't think of anything ELSE to challenge them with? How about they battle each other, cipher-style? I'M SAYING.... WHY DO I HAVE TO THINK OF THIS SH*T?):

Epiphany by Kendra Wilkinson– Well, at least she decided to clothe herself up a lil’ bit more . It’s kinda raw... she’s putting her entire life into it. Wow, your Dad left you? I’m sorry, but HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE ARE LIVING IN SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLDS? I hope she doesn’t think that made her some sort of REAL struggler or something. Whatever. And she’s even got a message for the young girls in it: if you work hard, you too can grow up to suck an old man’s jimmy for a living. Ain’t no better way to live, giirrrrrrlll!


“Let It Blow” by Shar Jackson– So, she decided to leave the “my-broke-trailer-trash-white-man-left-me” sob story alone and focus on something else. GOOD FOR YOU! It’s very “I Ain’t Neva Scared”, the girlie version.But she had a slick line with that

“they shoulda had me open up at the VMA’s!”
Damn. Ya just couldn’t avoid a Britney stab, couldn’t you, ma! For that song alone, you deserve a record deal. (Well, not really, I’m just being overzealous right now... you kinda blitzkrieged me with that one, girl.)

So, now y’all gotta vote, and the winner will be announced next week. ALL of the voted off celebs are going to come back, but I hope it’s not for a rendition of Rapper’s Delight or something equally corny like that (IMPORTANT NOTE: THEM DOING THE SONG WOULD BE CORNY, NOT THE ACTUAL SONG, SO PLEASE DON’T SEND ME ANY HATE COMMENTS! IF U NEED TO RE-READ THAT COMMENT TO COMPREHEND IT BETTER, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO!)

TOP THREE REASONS TO SEE THE VOTED OFF CELEBS RETURN:

3) Hopefully Countess Vaughn and Warren G will show up and announce to the world the expected due date of the child they tried NON-STOP to conceive

2) I’ll get to see that fooiiine Jamal Anderson again as well as Redman (I used to have a thing for him back in 199.... hell, who am I kidding, I was sweating this dude up until 2003)

1) I want to see WHICH CELEB is going to get up the nerve to smack Choco-Smurf with his d*ck (my money’s on Perez “P-Nasty!”)

And I’m out y’all! Have a GREAT weekend! ‘Til Monday...

WHO LOVES YA, BABY?
– Breezy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MC LYTE! (Oct. 11)

Posted by SOHH Breezy

Comments

  • mr me3 says...

  • Y'know, I have never watched this show, I just like the recaps. Choco smurf. killin me.

    first

  • October 12, 2007 11:37 AM
  • lollyu24 says...

  • Shar Jackson ripped "Let It Go". She has my vote.

  • October 12, 2007 12:02 PM
  • HATE HATE AND MORE HATE says...

  • WHY DO SOUTH RAPPERS AND MEN, SNAP THERE FINGERS LIKE BITCHES, AND LAFFY TAFFY SHIT, THAT SHIT IS GAY, AND WHY DO THE SOUTH HAS SO MANY GIMMICK RAPPERS. WHY WE ALL TRY TO BE LIKE WESTCOAST ARTIST, AND THROW OUR RECORD LABEL UP LIKE IT IS A GANG SIGNED. HOW MANY DID RICH BOY SELL AGAIN. EVEN OLD ASS ICE CUBE IS SELLING MORE RECORDS THEN OUR GIMMICK RAPPERS

  • October 12, 2007 12:03 PM
  • B- Stuy Long says...

  • I hope SHAR-JAYZEE wins that contest, casue she's the truth on that show, she raps better that Kevin.Maybe Britney can get he to do a feature on her new album.

  • October 12, 2007 12:22 PM
  • Bird says...

  • Maybe Britney can get her to do a feature on her new album.

    Posted by: B- Stuy Long at October 12, 2007 12:22 PM

    Her label probably already pitched that to her and if they haven't they will.

  • October 12, 2007 3:15 PM
  • Brandy says...

  • Hey,
    i think kendra is tworken it, she is the shit. Holler

    holler back homie G

    b-DIZZY

    MUCH LUV

  • October 12, 2007 7:59 PM
  • khadafi says...

  • too short wrote kendras rap. she should lose!!

  • October 13, 2007 1:11 AM
  • dsread says...

  • still haven't watched a single episode but was the show that painful that you needed to take painkillers lol bus seriously feel better.

  • October 13, 2007 9:11 AM
  • CB says...

  • -Breezy-
    I thought Soulja Boy produced that track and most of his album on computer software??? Am I wrong?

  • October 13, 2007 1:50 PM
  • Sickbeezy says...

  • Shar all the way

    I wouldn't be surprised if she got a deal after this.

    www.myspace.com/sickbeezy

  • October 13, 2007 5:32 PM
  • NICO BAM BAM says...

  • yup soulja boy used fruity loops to create dat record and Mr. Collipark jus endorsed it.

  • October 15, 2007 12:30 AM
  • Sherance says...

  • fuck this lame ass show shar's cool, countess is cool, kendra trying to act out her hoochie ghetto girl fantasies I hate seeing white girls trying to drop it like it's hot when they have no ass kendra has no ass but dumb niggers go crazy over it vause she's a white girl.

    sebastian bach nothing against metal I';m a headbanger myself but he should'nt rap.

    perez representing for the fags.

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