TALKIN' VIDEOS

Wassup y'all!

This week on Celebrity Rap Superstar, our lucky contestants got to COME UP WITH THEIR OWN RAP? Yes, it's going down.

Before we even get into that, something just dawned on me: Does it bother anyone that Da Brat is one of the judges, and MC Lyte is a mentor? Think about it this way. If legendary DMC is a judge, then shouldn't Lyte be, too? I know Da Brat is kind of popular amongst the reality tv circuit now, but come on, MTV, what the hell? What's next, T-Pain judging an r&b contest while Brian McKnight merely spectates?! Am I wrong/right? Let me know what you think!

As far as the show goes: Efren Ramirez (NO SURPRISE) is in the bottom, and so is Sebastian Bach (WHAT THE F*CK? HELLO, JASON WAHLER IS STILL THERE!) One of them is going home. There’s going to be a showdown, because the votes were so close that there has to be a “rap-off” and the judges gotta pick the winner.

Do we even have to go through this painful debacle to know who Brat, Big Boy, and DMC are going to pick? I mean, let's be real here.

But alas, on to the performances...
(and I'm warning you, everybody's abbreviating their names. Nobody could rack their brains to come up with anything remotely creative. Sigh...)

Check out this video... towards the end you get a sneak peek of a lil' sample of Perez' rap.

Countess Vaughn – Jiggalypuff--excuse me, “Count Vee” – her rap is called “Break of Dawn” that starts off, “I got more booty than Beyonce”. Chick, at least Beyonce’s booty didn’t come from injecting baby pig guts in the rear! But I like the little line, “I was on 227/Now I’m 213/Rollin’ through the hood with Warren G”. Aww, so cute. She should put out an album and give Lil’ Mama a run for her money.
And damn, Warren G?! Can he make it ANY MORE obvious that he wants to beat? My, goodness, get a room!

Perez Hilton– So, Perez (P Nasty! More like Me Nasty!) opts to go the 50 Cent route and write a diss rap towards his fellow contestants, entitled “The Queen”. First of all, I can’t believe he rapped over “Funky Cold Medina”. Tone must be SO PROUD! Second of all, WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH ME, ‘CUZ I ACTUALLY ENJOYED THAT SH*T! Go 'head, Perez! But please, stop with that drugstore eyeliner. Every Thursday, I learn something new about the gay man...

Shar Jackson– Homegirl’s gonna let it all hang out about the Britney/K-Fed drama. WHO GIVES A F*CK ANYMORE? “No Time For Hatin’” is the name of the rap and I must say that for the first time, I wasn’t feeling her. Maybe because I read too much US Weekly and People magazine and I’m SICK of hearing about her AND her kids. Her delivery was aight, though. But the line, "I read the blogs when y'all said I was round/the camera adds ten pounds!" Wow. Damn girl, that means you must've been anorexic during your Moesha days! And please Shar, no more barbs at K-Fed. We know that he's the wackest MC in the universe (and by MC, I mean "Mad Corny".) Let it go, let it go, let it go. On a side note, I can’t believe Lyte is still rockin’ the mushroom do’! Come on, girl. 2007, not 1987! I know these young dudes is trying to bring back the ‘80s style like that ish is brand new but that’s because they never lived through it! Please get some braids and call it a day, miss. Forty is Fabulous, Lyte! (no diss)

Jason Wahler– White girls, PLEASE stop voting for Jason. He’s wack– admit it. And no matter how many times you text message MTV, JASON WAHLER IS NOT GOING TO F*CK YOU. PERIOD. That being said, he DEFINITELY dropped the ball on “Baller”. Did he just say he kills at will? What do you kill, Jason? Squirrels and raccoons that get caught under your tires? But why am I even bytching? We all know that JASON WILL NOT BE VOTED OFF THE NEXT EPISODE.

Kendra Wilkinson– “H*es Up, Pimps Down”? Is THAT the title? No, sorry– “Hold Up, Pimps Down.” I can even fathom that. What happened to all the “anger running through” her? Did she store it all in her @$$? Well, once again, she had Da Brat all twisted– homeboy couldn’t even get her criticism out without smiling and stuttering! Didn’t she remind you of Big Mike (from MTB4) when he and the crew went to the strip club? But I ain’t hatin’... don’t rap about if you don’t live it, and she DEFINITELY lives it.

“I CAN’T GET MAD AT YOU BECAUSE YOU RAP ABOUT WHAT YOU DO!” – DMC -- QUOTE OF THE DAY!

Now.... here it goes... The Showdown.... ARE YOU READY TO RAAAAWK?!

Efren Ramirez– “This is for la raza?” Howwww original. Next time Efren, take an ESL class before attempting to rap– this ain’t Celebrity Reggaeton Superstar! (Not that THAT would be a show worth watching...)

Sebastian Bach– His rap is called “One For The Money”. And you know what? G-ddamn it, Bach. You got this all tied up... he definitely stepped up his game this week. I do agree with what DMC said– Sebastian doesn’t try to emulate anyone, he just tries to be the best ‘Sebastian’ that he could be.

But, it was unanimous... Efren and Bizarre are outtie. But I enjoyed Efren’s lil’ exit... even though it’s ELEVEN years since Tupac’s passing, bro. And even though Bizarre’s gone, I think he actually reads this blog because he stopped with the hats. Rejoice!

What did you think of tonight’s show? Holla @ me... next week they’re going to do duets with their rap mentors... keep it locked for that recap. Check in next week for other videos and shenanigans as well. Have a good weekend, fam!

WHO LOVES YA, BABY?
--Breezy