Hey, fam. I've just gotten thru the VMA's, and as promised, I'm gonna tell y'all how it went down... and down... and down.
You know what? If you want me to break this down for you, plain and simple: this show was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overhyped. And damnit, they got to me too, especially when I blogged live from MTV when they announced the nominees on TRL. It has been no secret that MTV, in terms of their awards ceremonies, has fallen off, and I guess this year, by creating new award categories that make no sense whatsoever, they're trying to recapture the essence they lost back in, say, 2003. I say, if they wanna get it back to how it used to be, for next year's show, bring back Chris Rock to host, and stop putting these bullsh*t celebs on the show (like the Laguna Beach/Hills whores and those losers who were announced the Best New Artist category). And how about actually PERFORMING ON THE ACTUAL STAGE? I know this is Vegas, and they wanted to have that "party like a rockstar" mode goin' down, but it was annoying watching the camera go from suite-to-suite. I mean, sh*t, let whoever's gonna perform do it on THE ACTUAL PROGRAM, and save the other sh*t for an aftershow or something.
But let me stop going off, and get into this recap. I'm going to put the show's highlights under three categories, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. But to start things off, there's one performance, which, the very first time I saw it, I hated it. But then, f*ck, I had to go and watch it two more times-- and it grew on me. My personal opinon: it's aight, but she's done better (2003 smooch with Madonna ring a bell?) So I'll let y'all decide whether it was good or not.
IT'S BRITNEY, B*TCH!
WAS THAT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S D*CK SHE GRABBED?
-- Rosario Dawson, as usual, always looking lovely. She will ALWAYS have a permanent spot on my WILF list.
-- Chris Brown's performance (ignoring the fact that Rihanna hijacked it to stab us in the side her with "Umbrella" once again). No wonder he chose to do his little Michael Jackson/"Billie Jean" tribute, because the entire time I was watching that, I was thinking, little boy, do you know I would f*ck you? THEY NEED TO STOP MAKING THIS BOY LOOK SO DAMN FINE.
Gotta give it to him... the dancing was on point. JTim was right, he IS putting you to shame.
-- Shia LeBeouf from Transformers (he presented "Best Female Artist of the Year" to Fergie [YAY!! The Dutchess is a hot album]). He could sooooo get it. There's a rumor going around that he's been seen running around with Rihanna (YEP), but let's hope that's not true.
-- Even though I said I did not prefer the hotel suite perfromances, I DID enjoy watching Kanye and T-Pain perfrom "The Good Life" (only because it allowed me to hear yet ANOTHER song from the CD I'm gonna buy on Tuesday) and Cee-Lo's rendition of Prince's "Darling Nikki"-- at least, the lil' snippet I caught before the cameras went to something else.
-- Alicia Keys' performance. This almost went into "the bad" category, because, 1, I am not a HUGE fan of the new single "No One" (she sounds off-key), and 2, NOTHING can top the performance she did with Lenny Kravitz and Stevie Wonder some years back. BUT, she redeemed herself while performing "Freedom". Plus, she was the only on-stage performer that I was 100% sure was singing LIVE. She gets big-ups for that alone.
-- Sarah Silverman. WHY is she still allowed to come to any MTV awards show? Her type of humor really doesn't go over too well at these type of events (although, I must admit, that Cee-Lo/Kanye/Jewish people joke was kinda funny).
-- The fact that you hardly even knew Beyonce was even there. This was NOT her time to shine.
-- Why was Nicole Scherzinger there? Seriously, who cares about her? She's not even the hottest PCD anymore.
-- Kanye's glasses. STOP WEARING WHITE GLASSES-- it's not chic!
-- Gym Class Hereos won Best New Artist. I like them, but damn, I was hoping that Amy Baby would take that one. Don't tell me y'all don't like her now just because she got a lil' crack addiction, now! Let HER deal with HER demons. Amy Winehouse is still dope as hell.
-- Dr. Dre came out of the batcave join the festivities! However, he gets a BOOOOO because he taunted us by saying, "Detox album coming soon!" How LONG is it taking you to detox? Don't play with our emotions, n*gga-- just hurry up and DROP THAT SH*T!
-- Timbaland and Co.'s show closer. Y'all know I LOVE ME SOME TIMBO. But I have to keep it 100, this was really lackluster. First of all, why was he dressed like Usher and Ne-Yo pieced together his outfit? Secondly, his entire arsenal of collaborators were there with him, but no one really delivered. Justin came close while performing "LoveStoned", but almost doesn't count.
-- The entire "Quadruple Threat" category. I mean, really, now, WHAT THE HELL? What does THIS have to do with making a hot video? What, was this just to make Beyonce feel better because the only award she won was for that sh*tty "Beautiful Liar" song, which we ALL know should've went to Gwen Stefani and Akon? Oh, right, wait... Bee didn't take the "Quadruple Threat" award home, either.
-- Kanye and 50 presenting together. No wait-- Kanye and 50 presenting together AND posing similarily to their Rolling Stone cover. Come on, give it up, we all know this is a big f*ckin' scam. First of all, the entire time Kanye appears like he's trying to hold in a laugh. You know, I almost bought into this bull and bought the magazine-- but I said, "f*ck that sh!t, I don't need a magazine to tell me which album I'm gonna get.
-- Rihanna took home "Monster Single of the Year" AND "Video of The Year." DAAAYUM, Bee and 'Ye! I know they were PI$$ED. First things first: that "Monster Single" award was really a no-brainer, but "Video of the Year? Come on, that video (which is what we're supposed to be judging here) sucked monkey balls, we all know that. Aww well.
-- Did Nelly Furtado dye her hair blonde? ICK!
Aight y'all. I'm out. Let me know what you thought of this year's VMA's, especially of the two performances I posted.
WHO LOVES YA, BABY?