The title of today's blog says it all, y'all.
That's exactly what happened.Diddy cut off Julius and Carlos.
I don't know how y'all feel about this, but watching this episode was actually bittersweet. I guess it's kind of because I know it's close to the end, and they got rid of some really talented guys this time around. But really... who else would it have been?
Plus, (DARE I SAY) I kind of miss Star Kitty. about (__)that much.
WAKE UP, G*DDAMNIT!
Hope y'all had a good weekend, and not as wild as the one I'm STILL currently trying to get over. But I meant to tell y'all this last week and I didn't: Go see Talk To Me, this movie's on point. It's the bio of ex-convict turned Washington D.C. radio personality Petey Greene. ALL the lead performers in this movie (Don Cheadle, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Taraji P. Henson) will make you laugh AND think at the same time. I swear, sometimes I really don't understand WHY DON CHEADLE HAS NOT GAINED AN OSCAR YET.
Here's a (short) clip of one of my favorite scenes from the movie.
SNOOP ROASTS FLAV'S NUTS
So, I was sent this video under the subject line "Comedy Central Presents Flava Flav Roast." And I thought, "isn't he dark enough, why they tryna roast him?" Womp, womp, wooomp! This clip features Snoop Dogg gettin' at ya booooooooooyyyyyyyy, and gets at Bridgitte Nielsen too.
The roast is gonna air August 12, don't miss it.
I don't know about y'all, but if I had to choose who to give the meds to... I think Gita would need 'em more.
Was I the only one hoping Diddy would just crack his skull on the pavement?!
As you can see, I'm doing a 2-in-1 post today.
So let's get our Throwback Thursday selection poppin'.
This Thursday's video is actually one of my favorite hip-hop songs, and in my opinion, one of the flyest love songs you ever heard. I put this up here today, because this artist (YEAH, COMMON!!) is releasing his seventh album strong on July 31, entitled Finding Forever. I got the chance to hear the advance copy and it's DEFINITELY worth copping. Not only is this a hot song, but THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF A GOOD VIDEO:
Am I wrong?
The quick shots of the lava lamp, wet leaves, body parts, peach, etc make this video very sensual and very soothing to watch. Shout outs to everyone in love and puttin' it down on your wifey/hubby like this.
Aight, enough with the mushy sh*t.
Wait up-- Hold up! I thought Beyonce got the phrase "Uh Oh" trademarked and copyrighted. Can Ja Rule even do this song?
He tries, but apparently, he cannot.
I'm not going to spend too much time talking about the chain of events in this episode, because I know everybody wants to discuss the Laurie Ann/Diddy scenario. But, in order to do that, I have to set the scene as to explain WHY WHAT HAPPENED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Basically, the cuts going down were SUPPOSED to be based strictly on dancing. So Mike Biv takes our guys to play basketball in some NYC projects (I didn't catch the name but all I KNOW is it wasn't the one I grew up in) because, if these guys can't hold it down on the courts, "there's no way they're gonna be able to kick it with Puff on stage." Of course not? Could YOU keep up with an ADHD-stricken speed addict, Mike? I don't think so.
But let's look at the even bigger picture here: wasn't it winter, like, 2 episodes ago? When did spring suddenly set in? DAMN EDITORS!
Y'all are getting bombarded today.
Okay, so here's what's on the MAYHEM radar today:
So, if y'all have noticed, I'm not a fan of the Beluga Whale that jacks f*ckin' Fab and Ne-Yo beat and destroyed it with one of the wackest "for my n*ggas" type songs in the fakest- accent ever. Which is why I purposely decided to ignore "Beautiful Girls".
BUT DID YOU KNOW....
HE RIPPED OFF A POP TART to make that punk- @$$ song? Y'all know who JoJo is, that little white girl with the "wannabe black" attitude. SHE CAME OUT WITH HER VERSION FIRST!
(NOTE: This isn't an actual video for the song, but click it to listen to the track.)
**Bad Boy Videos That Suck are going to be posted every other week from here on out. If you have a suggestion/request, you may still leave them in your comment below. Thanks! **
Aight, the basic concept that I got from this video is that Luda n' em are talking about chicks that only date celebrities, NOT actual celebrity chicks. That threw me off a bit, because at first I was like, "okaaay, wouldn't this be more effective if there were, I dunno, CELEBRITY CHICKS in the video?" But they chose to use chicks that "look" like Nicole from PCD and K.D. Aubert -- but most likely pronounce "Rodeo Drive" as "Ro-DEE-yo" and buy their clothes from someone who stole them first. Ahh, to each his own.
Where has THIS Remy Ma been?!
With Remy Ma's recent drama, I had to find this and throw it up there, even though it only dates back to 2000. This was the realest, sh*t Remy's ever done. No multi-colored weaves, no conceitedness, she's just straight spittin' fire. Unfortunately, this Remy Ma is now deceased. Remy, get your sh*t together, f*ck the wack "supergroup" and go hard at these cats as portrayed above. I'm not gonna write you off yet. I'll wait until PUNISHher drops.
*Speaking of punish, I read somewhere that her birth name is Reminisce. PLEASE TELL ME I'M WRONG.
Blank Stare.
That was basically my reaction to watching this horrendously-boring BET "docudrama."
Wow, so BET is trying to prove that they care about teens' lives-- not just convincing them to drop it like it's hot.
Oh wait, my bad-- they only care about the ones who can AFFORD the lifestyle that they heavily endorse.
First of all: Who was the executive that watched ATL ten times and thought, "you know, if there was a show dedicated to the lives of people like New-New (Erin), the sh*t would be poppin'?" Give that individual a pink slip -- ASAP! No severance check for you, buddy.
Seriously, I couldn't even get into this show. Back in the day, I was able to mess with "Clueless" a bit because it was ORIGINAL at the time, but now shows like "Laguna Beach" and v"The O.C." don't really pique my interest because they're not realistic. Neither is this one-- THE WHOLE THING SOUNDS SCRIPTED. Too forced! I felt like I was watching one of those stupid Arabesque "Fire & Desire" films, but instead of using typical actors like Lisa Raye and Bird's husband from Soul Food, they found these kids and got them to work for new Jordans and Burberry cologne.
Where's the drama? I mean, is there an upcoming episode where we witness one of these chicks taking an EPT? Where's the kid that comes out the closet? Is it going to be that boy who thinks he's the second coming of Barack Obama? I'm SAYING!
Let me stop ranting though...
I'm gonna stick with this theme today, because ironically this was a question Diddy brought up himself on the show, although I'm sure he cares more about whether or not his caramel macchiato is the right temperature. After watching tonight's episode, you definitely know there's a storm brewing inside the house, and P Daddy definitely is the one in charge of the stirring. This leads me to conclude:
The Devil does not wear Prada, he rocks his own label.
FAMOUS NOT-SO-LAST WORDS OF THE EPISODE
Jonathan: "We really switched up the game... we pulled something on Diddy!" Foolish boy.
Let me drop some knowledge that somebody once told me: "If you can't beat the Devil, you best understand him."
Clearly, our MTB4 guys need to have this quote blown up and posted over their barracks.
Keyshia Cole, Kim, and Missy. Not too horrible of a trio. When I first heard "Let It Go", I wasn't like, "daaaammnnn that's hot", but I thought, okay, I can rock with this a lil' bit.
That also sums up my thoughts about the video:
A few things off of the top of my head that I noticed about this video, once my head stopped spinning from the dizzying, unnecessary visual effects:
-- Is that Keyshia Cole or Kelis in the video? Looks like somebody's jackin' styles a lil' bit don't it?
-- WHO THE HELL TAKES ADVICE ON MEN FROM MISSY ELLIOT? She's damn near a man herself! Sh*t, that's like getting keys to a long-lasting marriage from Halle Berry.
And as far as Lil Kim's goes... it's a good news/bad news situation.
GOOD NEWS: She's gone back to wearing a black weave.
BAD NEWS: She now looks like Larissa from Charm School.
On to more mayhem...
Oh my G-d. RUN KIDS!!!
Can you tell me how to get, how to get away from this HORRIBLE @$$ VIDEO!?
DISCLAIMER: Allowing your child to watch this song & dance MAY may result in an onset of sudden mental retardation. Proceed with caution.
Every day's a good day when you ain't gotta bust ya AK.
So, here's the "rough cut" of the Pharrell and Twista video for "Give It Up." Not only is this one of the wackest songs I've ever heard, it's pretty weak... for a Pharrell video.
You know what? I gotta agree with Diddy. There's always a muthaf*cka tryna take your spot. Trying to steal your shine just because they don't like you, or because you don't go around with a non-stop Dave Chappelle routine all day. So before I even GET into the episode re-cap, let me address all of you out there gunning for my spot, and those of you spectators that don't know what the f*ck you want:
*Future*, that was a nice try, sweetheart. I didn't even take the time to read your sh*t, but you know what I did do? HIT THE F*CKIN DELETE BUTTON! And please don't attempt to engage in an blogger beef with me. It's dumb, and I have a real job to tend to, I don't have time to spend here going comment-for-comment with you. THAT BEING SAID, get your @$$ off of your Mama's couch, stop masturbating, change your boxers that you've been wearing for the past six days, go out and do something productive with your life.
And to those who are mad about the fact that I didn't do the Charm School re-cap, OH F*CKING WELL! I told y'all n*ggas last week I wasn't doing it, and that I wasn't playing in to this sh*t no more. Someone tries to stick to their guns and y'all just straight hate on them. That is ALRIGHT, because y'all like to sit and laugh at that kind of sh*t like it's funny but y'all the FIRST ONES to cry foul when someone like Don Imus calls someone a "nappy headed ho" with or WITHOUT warrant.
Good morning, bytches! Wipe the cold outtta your eyes, it's Monday, time to wake your @$$es up! By the time you read this, you should be at work, not doing work, perpetrating a front like those office memos are getting typed ASAP.
Yeah f*ckin' right!
Just random bits and pieces today, and we're gonna start off with a particular r&b crooner's rather engorged bit:
Now, I don't know how old this is, so before you try to call me on its date, fix your face, I merely stumbled upon this.
But does it matter?
John Legend's a freak. We know that. Any man that can write a song about f*cking on a fire escape in the daytime is definitely capable of going Janet Jackson-esque on some chick in concert.
But what's up in those pants isn't a wardrobe malfunction!!
I don't know if he was actually into the girl, getting a mental picture of Kanye shirtless while wearing a custom-made pair of Louis Vuitton boxers or if he was simply getting turned on by his own sweat, but damn, Pa. Didn't know it was hangin' like that. Go 'head, Johnny!
And the girl? F*ck, I thought she was about ready to pin him down and sit on his face! And truthfully, I can't blame her for it. Gay or not, J.L. could sing any chick out of her panties if he wanted to. I'd give Legend a new workout plan if given the chance... but that's another story, another blog!
Bad Boy Videos That Suck Fridays are in full effect!
Shout out to the person who suggested "P.E. 2000" for the next installment. That almost seemed perfect, but I did some research and I thought, I'm gonna do you one even better, kid.
How many of y'all remember this?
Sh*t, when this song first came out, honestly, I DID like it... a little... I'll admit. I was in my youth! Mind you, I'm talking about THE ORIGINAL P.E. 2000, and its predecessor. But the Spanish version? That's going too far just to impress some chick. And where was J-Lo anyway? Why wasn't she rollin' in the passenger side showing us just how down and "from the block" she is?
** Hope everyone had a good July 4th! We interrupt your regularly scheduled Throwback Thursdays to bring you this latest hot mess:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but, I'm guessing the rumors have proven to be true?
Please, CiCi, please. F*ck what you think, shawty. LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Last week, I couldn't even bring myself to blog about Making The Band because it was so f*cking ridiculous, I felt like my brain cells were dying.
This week's episode, however, was different. No, Laurie Ann didn't get the boom kat kat smacked outta her (unfortunately) but we did get to see someone else get verbally checked: Robert. But it was so stupid though, because this chick he's seeing gets all defensive when he brings up her partying, and then towards the end tries to pull some ish like she's "counting the days until [she] sees [him] again." Maybe I'm overly cynical, but I'm not buying this sh*t man. But what does it matter? The way you flipped your limp wrists when stating how long you guys have been together makes me think that just maybe, you're not that in to her as you'd like us viewers to believe, wink, wink. And why you keep calling her "dawg" for? Do you use that term of endearment so you won't slip the names of your girlfriend and your boyfriend? Yeah, they're all your dawgs! I'm on to you!
Da Band couldn't walk from Manhattan to Brooklyn in a nice, midnight summer's breeze. The MTB3 chicks practically collasped after jogging around the Central Park reservoir. What does P. Sh*tty do to up the ante this year? Mix both of the two tasks (sort of) and see if the MTB4 guys can hack it!
And guess what? THEY COME THROUGH LIKE SOLDIERS! DIDDY: Take that, take that, take that!!
Charm School is done. Hurrah!
Saaphyri was crowned the First Winner of Charm School. But seriously, after a certain point in this series, was there ever any doubt that she didn't have it in the bag?
But before I get ahead of myself, let's talk about the final lesson of Charm School. No, the real one. I know that Mo'Nique said it was "Thou Shall Get Fabulous" but by looking at the tactics Saaphyri and Becky came up with (and Leilene went along with because she has no better choice 'cuz her studying methods SUCK... stupid girl... you take a drink to calm your nerves when you're about to go on stage to pop that @$$, NOT to take a pop quiz!) the last lesson could've easily been (and I'm using Becky's own words): "Thou Shall Payeth Back."
THE BIG PAYBACK, B*TCH!!
