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I Love New York: The Cutting Room
Posted on March 27, 2007 11:12 AM
Redundant? Nooooooooo!
In wanton anticipation to be put out of the misery that is “I Love New York,” why the fuck not indulge ourselves in the obligatory “recap/cutting room floor” episode? After almost 3 full seasons of this VH1 coonery, it was to be expected. Hopefully you all shared in the luxury of watching last night’s installment with a Garcia y Vega and a “buttnekid ho.”
Enclosed are my annotated thoughts, pretty much in chronological order.
New York’s voice finally cracked under the jizzalated pressure. It sounded like with every word last night, she was finally on the verge of hacking up the clum baby that’s lodged in there. This bird got the nerve to say she sufferin from “Love Sickness.” “Heartinginis?” Next time leave the nut in ginis and you’ll be able to do your testimonials without sounding like Joan Rivers.
I never knew “Snake Remix” (Super Saiyan-fused Cam/Kells) had a bro-hawk? That shit was terrible. I don’t know how he expected a woman to select him comin out like that. Surprisingly enough, both Pollard AND Patterson wanted to keep him! Ah, what a difference a little bit of smoke in the face can make.
Looks like the contestants, Chamo and the MBPs all had one shitload of a precursor to 12 Pack’s gay skrippins! They all hopped up in shock when they found out about his stint at Feather's at the end. However, they apparently saw his frank-warming skills on the first night.
As happy as I was to see him go because his entire existence appeared to be a trainwreck (and I promised to stop watching those), I actually think Pootie might have been the best man for New York… at least in this capacity. Imagine the spinoff! After the never-before released “Whoppadoppapoptartextramayonopickles-andamericancheese” discussion, them two had something special. Ain’t nobody in that room understand a word of that conversation. Black America had to let out a collective cry for the jigapoo-talk throwback, though.
“Exactly!”
On the other hand, one nigga that didn’t go soon enough was that cell-block dick cushion, Romance. Sometimes I wonder how I would have behaved were I a contestant on this show. You know… Put yourself in the manwhore’s shoes and walk the stroll for a spell. After the Glad-N-Slide incident, I would have had to avoid Ro’ at all times. God knows what other household surfaces he deems satisfactory to glide his entire anus across.
Why’d they leave out Chance and MBP’s “Search for the Buttnekkid Ho?!” That shit was beyond classic! The fact that they said “buttnekkid ho” like 7 times for no apparent reason forced me to tears. The only shit that made me laugh harder was when they rolled up on 12 Pack and dude was “just reading [his] Bible after a stressful day.”
Damn. If New York picked Tango he is gonna have to Pootie her shit for the way she’s been smearing smegma all over his manhood. First she sprayed diarrhea on his mama for no good reason, then she’s letting loose on his derm abrasion like niggas can’t see the crater face. Yes, his shit looks like the dark side of the moon, but damn. I thought you loved him.
You a cold piece of work, Tiffany. He ruined his good standing as a man for you. He went snitch like DiCaprio all season long. This is how you repay loyalty? I bet that’s Tango’s Jamba Juice in your throat too. Enjoy that protein boost, baby.
Fuckin Muppets these days. They're completely out of control without Jim Henson around to cattle prod them.
Boston really was about to go Beecher on these niggas! MISTER Boston was about to shank the next motherfucker that tried to tie, shave/pinch/slap/scrape/rimjob his ass. How come this doesn’t make it back to the Man Bears that Be? A nigga can’t be bi-curious, but he can pack a shank? This shit bout bass ackward.
As we’ve observed, NY loves a man that can Ike her about! She wants to be fed cake even when she doesn’t want to be fed cake. This is why Chance might have a leg up on The Wango going into the final showdown. She likes the bread SHOVED into her. GARRRR!!! Tango is more of the type to let digestion begin with the salivary glands.
Our last taste of Real for the season doesn’t disappoint! The blented ass Stallionaire told NY that she looks like an Arabian horse. If that ain’t the pot callin the kettle a nigger, I don’t know what the fuck is. I guess throwed runs in the family. Quietly going through crack blunt withdrawal, Chance saw the ghost of Pootie Tang flying about the house.
Maybe he thought Pootie to be his only true competition in the “beat her until she loves it” department. Maybe that's just what happens when Stallionaires don't have their medicine.
The finals are upon us!
Comments
This has been the funniest episode so far...the moment i laid eyes on 12pac i knew he was a flaming homosexual
New york is in the muthafuckin buildin' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The way Pootie and NY was going at it in the kitchen, you would've thought she was ready for him to smack the shit out of her and then fuck her on the counter for the whole house to see.
I also think the Kang got their new spokesman in Pootie.
"If you broke like meand wanna be proper...eat a Burger Kang Whopper. And have it your muthafuckin' way!!"
Look out for Chance & NY to have their own show next season. Coonin' at it's finest.
The way Pootie and NY was going at it in the kitchen, you would've thought she was ready for him to smack the shit out of her and then fuck her on the counter for the whole house to see.
I also think the Kang got their new spokesman in Pootie.
"If you broke like me and wanna be proper...eat a Burger Kang Whopper. And have it your muthafuckin' way!!"
Look out for Chance & NY to have their own show next season. Coonin' at it's finest.
New York and her moms look like Ralph from the Muppet Babies.
DA WAT NY AND POOTIE GOT INTO IT WAS FUNNY AS HELL. ATLEAST POOTIE STOOD UP 2 HER WHICH IS WHAT SHE WANTED.LOL. BUT DAT SHIT WAS JUST TO FUNNY IF SHE PICKS TANGO HE BETTER NO HOW 2 HANDLE HER. BUT I HOPE SHE PICKS CHANCE INSTEAD OF DA TURLTLE.LOL.
Great Shit once again Ron Bon Jovi
i happened to be channel surfing, because unless Ivory Latta is playing, womens b-ball on ESPN does nothin for me.
saw this shit was comming and i had to check this shit out, i caught on to it probably 4 episodes ago, but damn i think i would've had a valid chance at slaying dat shit and then leaving for the prestige and real prize of the media notoriety, judging from the 20 or so original contestants.
lmaooo@the Jim Henson reference.
lmaooo@me spitting out Poland Spring and coughing up kush when Real said she looked like an Arabian Horse and then pulled his best Max Julien/Billy Dee Williams/(fuck it) Katt Williams impresion by givin shorty some of the most impromptu pimpin known to TV-Land.
nice recap fam.
As we’ve observed, NY loves a man that can Ike her about! She wants to be fed cake even when she doesn’t want to be fed cake.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ahhh damn, you killing it even on the recap tip...
...eat the fucking cake Annie Mae, I said eat the cake bitch!!!
buttnaked hoe that shit was funny ass hell
I don't ever watch no fucking reality t.v. shows but this was the funniest show i've seen in a long ass time i'am talking about the people on that show that really tried to get with this chick are they stupied but i'll twist some trees sit back and laugh my ass off foreal stickkyyy ickkyyy green hahahahahaha
Truth is all the fellas on the show were on for a personal reason, from exposure to hopes of making it big. That hoodrat hiding behing that name New York is so lame and found in any hood across the nation. Chance pcp head ass fits her fine, the hoodrat nor her mother ever been treated like a lady so it's obvious they're not used to the good life. Come on, to get played by Flavor Flav told alot. After that show goes off air, thats it for the chicken head, pancake makeup wearing pigeon. All she the show did is boost the fellas on there and for the record everybody was right about 12pac, however he's not the only one on there, a few others just covered it up better. And as far as that broke new york goes, she ought to give it a rest. She wish she was fly. lol.
I just want to say that New York's mom looks like a man, and New York is not far from it. I like the show, but I will be damned if I go on national tv and act like a fool. To be honest, I wouldn't holla at New York in the streets. Maybe after the club and a few shots of patron.. I'm just being real!!
Was it just me or did anybody peep the previews from next week and see Chance standing there with his hair all slicked down like a ho.
While watching the YouTube cryin' ass water head recap at the top I noticed that they showed MISTER Boston. That motherfucker wasn't crying...HE WAS WIPING A BOOGER OFF HIS CHEEK! All he did all season was dig in his narrow ass nose.
Hey, Dat Chick....i saw the slickers too!
New York done already clowned the winner in KING magazine, she said the winner was packin like 2 inches.
What it do People?! What up, Sin?! How ya livin? Okay, ummmmm, this recap show had me rollin on the floor, cryin & laughin at the same time. WTF?! Oh my goodness, the buttnekkedho scene was like Oscar worthy. And WHAT is Mr. Boston's problem with the pickin of the nose? And was it just ME, or did anyone else throw up in their mouths just a little when they showed the scene where Mr. Boston fed NY the Listerine strip and she sucked on his NASTY finger?!??! OMG! All I could thing was EWWWWWWWWWW you just sucked down about a weeks worth of his BOOGERS ya nasty heffa! My opinion is that she is gonna choose Chance... it's only obvious. PLUS, on the previews their makin it look like Tango wins... we ALL know with reality t.v. they always make the winner look like the loser and vice versa. Man, I have 12 pack on my stomach from the work out all this laughin gives me... And on a personal note: I would love to volunteer to give Whiteboy a BUNCH of mixed, ashy babies. He's delicious hahahahah ONE LUV YALL!
NY's muva look like Donald Duck after Elmer Fudd shot off his beak.
Steph, lmaoooo you need help. whats da deal!!!!
THE WINNER IS TANGO !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I SAID IT .........
Remember KO TOLD YA ...........
I knew 12pack was Homo as fuck...............lol
THE WINNER IS TANGO !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I SAID IT .........
Remember MD TOLD YA ...........
I knew 12pack was Homo as fuck...............lol
And ( Heat and Tweed )
Romance hasnt comeout the closet for me.........
I honestly couldnt watch this show with turning my face a few times....
By the way CHance played himself trying to Act like he didnt take the chain off .........Hahah nice try.
Ronnie!
You are by-far the best blogger on this site but pleeeeease my friend, stop writing about these stupid, degrading, coonified television shows. Flava of Love season one was great, season two was meh and now shit is just old son.
We need to move on...
NY looks like Janice from the Dr. Teeth Muppet Band.
Pootie or CHance would have been perfect for Coontastic TV, but Pootie is legitimately crazy while CHance is just an idiot.
Boston almost chopped them up an dwent COlumbine on them for bullyiing him. It was sad all 4 of them had to tie him up, but that is what bitches do, pick on those who are weaker.
Yeah...that cuttin' room stuff was straight hilarious....I was on that Grey Goose and pineapple juice while watching this show.....but...................Me and my girl came to the conclusion about some of the dudes on this show....
1. 12-Pack....I mean no straight man in his right mind would strip at a gay club,or offer the gay help a lap dance. We called him out by the 3rd episode
2. Heat....he ranks in ths spot because he followed 12-pack's down low ass up for his duration on the show. They'd drink, workout and just admire each others bodys....WTF......queer by association.
3. Romance...this dude been playin for the other team for some time. The first time he hit the scene my girl said he was sweet. Cryin' and tellin' bullshyt stories about his dog...lol...Running buttnaked around a bunch of men...lol...12-pack and Chamo probably played sword-fight with their cocks with this dude....lol
4. T-Weed....We thought that this dude wasn't all the way straight...We thinking he is bi-sexual.....something about him wasn't right
5. Onix....My girl said to me "This dude is the poster child of a 'Down Low ' brother" and i'm gonna co-sign on that
6. Chance.... My girl believes that Chance has some sugar in his tank and i'm co-signing....he's tryin to hard to be hard and thug-like....A real thug nigga don't have to be that loud and try for attention.....he tryin to overcompensate for his sweet ways...
And I thought Pootie crazy ass should be with New York silly ass too.....But i think she's not gonna be with either one....lol.....
Not bad ...........Must be a bunch of newbies in here....Other wise a sohh vet would have caught that........
:CLUE#2:
"Super Sayin-Fused Cam/Kells"
The realest shit ever spoken. His brother Real looks like what would happen if they didn't get the fusion right the first time.
Rumor has it that Chance won the show!!! But i could be wrong. Anyway when NY stated that Tango needed Mirco Derma...I was crying and i couldnt stop looking at his skin at that point!!
Chance picking on Mr.Boston, shows that he was a punk from the door! Im not taking up for Mr. Boston but he played himself, Boston was weak! dude never had a real fight in his life.
Tango,tango, help me. Please tango Help me! Boston crying for Tango's help! I would have beat chances ass!!
12 pk might have been Gay, but dude wipe tango ass!!
Whoever edits this show should receive a special award.... the ghost of Pootie had me crying! That whole Whopper tirade in the kitchen (NY and those dirty ass feet on the counter where people eat... nasty!) I thought was classic. NY tried to act all hard (wit no cheese Bitch!!) but I think she realized Pootie was bouts to knock those batwings she calls lashes off that face of hers!
Chance is soft, I don't care how he tries, but that boy is G-A-Y! I can feel it in my spirit as MBP said... Tango needs microdermabrasion, this is true, but damn that T-Weed needs electrolysis... and a hair cut. NY being the tired assed SKANK A DANK DANK she is, will pick Mr. Softie cause she enjoys a good beat down before taking up the booty. Sigh.... the reunion show should be good if they show all the ISH she talked about Ninja Turtle and his moms.
Ron, PLEASE F*UCK what "Im telling you right now" said.... You HAVE to keep bloggin about this ish! It's HILARIOUS. Plus, it's like my weekly crack. You don't want to be responsible for me going thru Ron Mexico withdrawls and not being able to work and then losing my house do you? LOL. WHAT UP SIN?! I'm lovin you on a daily!!!!!
Couple of yall asked me to post my URL. My retarded butt just figured out where it was hahahah so here ya go... PLEASE do not be sending me all kinda retarded friend requests to pump up your band, record lable, baby mama's info, penis pump sign up forms, etc. Well, except Sin, he can send me whatever he wants hhahahahah... IM OUT YALL! OH I ALMOST FORGOT!!!! I have DISH network and sometimes they do these sneak peeks where they play a show days before its supposed to air. AND my daily recorder thingy says that Mondays finale of I Love New York is gonna be playing on FRIDAY @ 6pm (eastern). I don't know if its a typo on their part or not but BEST BELIEVE I have it set to record just in case!!!
i actually thought that this recap episiode was funny then meeting the parents..lastweek..for that raggedy bitch to critisize tangos mom like that, shows that hoe aint got no class..and no respect for her own mother...tango should wait til if he gets pick and then pull a hoopz on her ass...cuz newyork is an ignorant bitch..i cant stand to hear anything that comes out this hoes mouth..chance is a fagget ass punk and she think this bitch is a thug..the only real nigga ...snitch or not is tango ..he deserves someone far better then that dick suckin big lip hoe..and mrs patterson ought to be ashamed of herself briving chance to leave but then trynna tongue kiss his ass ....lol...this show sucks...i wish flav was back on...but i cant wait to see the monique charm school....thats just like bringing flav of luv back all over again.....
Tango is A. a guy who is doin gwhat it takes to win, playing th egame right (snitching and all) B. a decent guy with a little sense. He tied 12Pack with his bad shoulder in the boxing match. Had CHance fought someone w/skills, he'd have been on the maqt out cold. He fights like Fred SAnford.
LOL @ SEXXY, GURL U R A TRIP! U BE HAVING ME LAUGHIN BUT U B ON POINT THOUGH. I AGREE..
It don't make no damn difference who win!Chance ugly with his snagge tooth ass. Tango with bumpy face ugly ass is messy like a woman. New York is outa there ,ain't no help for her. Her mama is the blamed for the bad looks. If i was New York i would be depress of being ugly regardless if i had money.
New York is the lowest class woman i have ever seen on tv, run a close second by her mom. lol they are both amazingly stupid, and new york aint nothing but a lying slut. I hope this show isn't real. I especially liked it when she dropped ashes all over herself after going home with one of the guys, can't remember which one. Keep it coming vh1, you are setting the equal rights movement back decades. not only is she a trampy, low class woman....but a trampy low class "black" woman, if i were black i'd be boycotting this show all to hell. and what's up with "sister" ? they trying to make us think they some sort of religious family? oh, i get get it, just another way to make their sex, class, race, and now their religion even dumberererer.
New York picked Tango like i thought. And they are engaged. holla julia
all i gotta say iz witeboy...man i hope i bump into ur sexyself 1day. cuz dam the way u r with ur cute face juz makez u so fuQin hot! chance ur krazie self nd the way u dress is fuQin sexy..nd tango all i can say bout him is eewwwww! but w/e thatz NYs choice nd im glad she didnt choose witeboy cuz he staz in mia where i sta at..now he cud be mine! hahahaha dam i fuQin rock!
the hell with new york she chose her man now let my man chose me on the give me a Chance Show
Yo I heard Romance is doing some shit where he makes an average joe famous, hes on romances top friends on his myspace profile plus he says hes making this guy famous. Apparently we're gonna see it on the reunion.
YALL SEE THAT PUNK ASS CHANCE WITH ALL THAT ALIEN CROP CIRCLE SHIT ON HIS HEAD.THE HOUSE WAS FULL OF UNDERCOVER BROTHERS.
NEW YORK WILL BE JUST LIKE THAT BITCH FROM IM GONNA GET YOU SUCKER.TAKING OFF HAIR EYES LEGS.EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT UGLY MOTHERFUCKER IS FAKE.
NEW YORK WILL BE JUST LIKE THAT BITCH FROM IM GONNA GET YOU SUCKER.TAKING OFF HAIR EYES LEGS.EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT UGLY MOTHERFUCKER IS FAKE.
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