TALKIN' VIDEOS

the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos

TALKIN' VIDEOS - the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos

Beyonce feat. Jay-Z - "Upgrade U" video

Posted on March 21, 2007 11:26 AM

Damn, Real had some fucked up teeth!

Sorry, was stuck in yesterday for a minute. Today is another "B-Day" Bash. Beyonce and not-so-undercover beau, Jay-Z team up once again for our listening and viewing pleasure with "Upgrade U." [watch above]

When I first saw you... I said "oh, my!"

Do you know where them diamonds have been? You gonna be puttin' em all in your mouth like that, then got the nerve to wonder why they taste like African armpit. You get the gold star! Wait... no gold either. You get the conflict-free dick sandwich courtesy of Ronaldinho.

You're also wrong for tying that weave up like that. That's cruelty to animals. It's one thing to get a horsey implant. It's another entirely to get one and create a massive beehive. It's another still to have the nerve to get it wet.

Not all horses can swim, baby.

What the fuck is Beyonce doin with that "Kickboxer" Tong Po braid! Homegirl look like she about to go a round with Van Damme.

"JayZee goood fuck!"

Aight, so I'm confused. There are shots of Bee driving the car, riding in the back seat and about to get locked into the trunk. What part are you playing in the gangster movie, girl? Then all of a sudden she's Jay-Z! This shit is starting to look like the "Dreamgirls'" version of "Fight Club."

This is why Jay is so private about the relationship. Paparazzi would start asking questions like "What's your nickname for her?" Dude would be compelled to reply, "Vagina Durden."

I see Ms. Knowles wanted to go the Ciara route and do the transgender thing for a bit. She can't pull it off like Riley, though. Unlike CeeCee, I still wanna fuck this little boy.

That didn't come out right... Moving right along.

"I can do for you what Martin did for the people?/" She better be talkin about Martin Lawrence. Make a nigga laugh or some shit. "Oh my gooooodness!" I know she ain't tombout my nigga ML-Kay!!! Shit, this must be what got the likes of New York all confused about the game. With that said, Beyonce can trick on me anytime she damn well pleases.

The SIMS version is pretty hot, even though it looks like Hill Harper and a black Britney Spears.

If Jay really danced like that...

talkinvideos@sohh.com

Posted by Ron Mexico

Comments

  • Kobo says...
  • 1st bitcheeessss
    I actually like this song, could become a big hit
    wish she'd upgrade me

  • March 21, 2007 1:00 PM
  • SOHH Soul Man says...
  • As always sir, you laid it down!

  • March 21, 2007 1:15 PM
  • Lowedwn says...
  • What the fuck is Beyonce doin with that "Kickboxer" Tong Po braid! Homegirl look like she about to go a round with Van Damme.

    "JayZee goood fuck!"

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


    Oh damn...damn Ron, you could'a hit em w/ the tv edit version..."You bleed like Jay-Z(May-Ling)...you a cold piece of work homie

    Tell Bey to ditch Jay and I'll upgrade her on some Martin Lawrence shit, "yo my man, lemme get 2 pieces of cheese w/ that...hook it up"

  • March 21, 2007 1:30 PM
  • Ron Mexico says...
  • "Mama gon' work it out!"

  • March 21, 2007 1:36 PM
  • Heroin says...
  • Yo, you're a fool for that Tong Po shit. Salute!

  • March 21, 2007 1:37 PM
  • The-XFACTA says...

  • I don't care what she wears, she's fine!

    MYSPACE.COM/CYBERTHUGZ1
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  • March 21, 2007 1:40 PM
  • Lowedwn says...
  • Ahhhhh, for that, the rest of the week I gotta post under the name...Squa_Squasha

  • March 21, 2007 1:51 PM
  • A 70's baby from WI says...
  • Tong Po!!!! Wowwwwwww. Ron uses a fool for that one. LOL

  • March 21, 2007 2:32 PM
  • EReal says...
  • Not all horses can swim, baby.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    LMFAO!

    Horsey Implant.

  • March 21, 2007 3:35 PM
  • J-ROC says...
  • Fukk upgrade u i'd rather listen 2 miss jones version upstage u

  • March 21, 2007 3:35 PM
  • MsNeva says...
  • Jay killed it on this one! Shoulda been a Hov song from the gate...sorry Bey, I know you got love for ya mans, but don't let him UPSTAGE u!!

  • March 21, 2007 4:14 PM
  • CMD4LIFE says...
  • STOP HATING ON B YO! DON'T EVEN COMPATE CI CI TO HER. B IS THE BADDEST CHICK IN DA GAM PERIOD. THE SONG IZ HOT! SHE IS HOT! SHE UPGRADE YOUR WEAK ASS BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • March 21, 2007 4:38 PM
  • D Nice says...
  • Damn dog, do u actually ever give a video props? Just cause u ain't rich & never will be don't mean u gotta hate on somebody else shit.

  • March 21, 2007 4:41 PM
  • kayfromla says...
  • Will all your blogs be about Beyonce Knowles you aint got nothing else to talk about.

  • March 21, 2007 4:51 PM
  • Sherance says...
  • not a bad video it's alright I'm feeling this transgender trend seeing ciara and beyonce in boy clothes is something of a turnon oh ciara was so hot in that like a boy video now b's rocking out like a dude wow lesbians rule baby.

  • March 21, 2007 4:52 PM
  • Jack Me Hoff says...
  • Man that bitch breath stink!..lol

  • March 21, 2007 5:03 PM
  • adam says...
  • I was wondering when someone was calling this trick out on that fucking Martin line. Is she REALLY trying to compare herself to MLK? Blasphemous.

  • March 21, 2007 5:19 PM
  • lovehiphop says...
  • ahhh, people make me laugh "im gonna do for you what martin did for the people" you have to be a certain type of person to allow that bullshit to even come out of your mouth. We all know beyonce looks good let it be please. This is a hot song a callorboration though, good look Jay and B.

  • March 21, 2007 5:38 PM
  • cochise313 says...
  • STOP HATING ON B YO! DON'T EVEN COMPATE CI CI TO HER. B IS THE BADDEST CHICK IN DA GAM PERIOD. THE SONG IZ HOT! SHE IS HOT! SHE UPGRADE YOUR WEAK ASS BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by: CMD4LIFE at March 21, 2007 4:38 PM
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    bodied

  • March 21, 2007 5:44 PM
  • Jack Me Hoff says...
  • I CAN'T STAND THE BITCH BUT, YOU GUYS ARE HATIN A LITTLE OVER THERE! SHE USING A METAPHOR! RAPPERS USE THEM ALL THE TIME TO SAY ONE THING WHILE MEANING ANOTHER..FIX YOUR FACES "I CAN DO FOR YOU WHAT MARTIN DID FOR THE PEOPLE"..IT'S ANOTHER WAY TO SAY SHE CAN UPGRADE HIM LIKE MARTIN UPGRADED THE RACE...STUPS

  • March 21, 2007 5:56 PM
  • Darth Detox says...
  • Wow, Ron. Jack just told you. How could you have not known what she meant?

    Stupid.

    Martin Lawrence ain't made nobody laugh. That nigga makes movies as bad as Tim Allen.

    And then they got the nerve to put him IN a movie with Tim Allen!

  • March 21, 2007 6:42 PM
  • Mike Vick says...
  • Wow, Ron. Jack just told you. How could you have not known what she meant?

    Stupid.

    Martin Lawrence ain't made nobody laugh. That nigga makes movies as bad as Tim Allen.

    And then they got the nerve to put him IN a movie with Tim Allen!
    ------------------
    bodied

  • March 21, 2007 7:38 PM
  • Squa_Squasha says...
  • Martin Lawrence ain't made nobody laugh. That nigga makes movies as bad as Tim Allen.

    And then they got the nerve to put him IN a movie with Tim Allen!
    Posted by: Darth Detox at March 21, 2007 6:42 PM

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    Detox, u trippin homes, I ain't seen no Wild Hogs or Big Mommas House 2, but dog anything that Martin is in that ain't a family flick I fux wit, Life, Blue Streak, Nothing to Lose...and let's not get started on You So Crazy...Rundeldat nyuggga

  • March 21, 2007 7:57 PM
  • MsNeva says...
  • Can someone please explain to me how one can "upgrade" a race????

  • March 21, 2007 8:13 PM
  • Youdon'tneedtoknow says...
  • She's not even worth talking about anymore.

  • March 21, 2007 9:14 PM
  • Jay says...
  • Damn nigga where do you give this video props... You "LAME AS HELL" you upset cause she doin' it big while you writing blogs and shit for a website thats fell off like the "THE SOURCE"... The video is hott like the song... what you really need to be hatin' is that lame as shit you wrote... and what do you mean yo nigga ML Kay, nigga I hope you black because I never met a brother with the last name Mexico and if you are not ML Kay ain't your nigga... Stop hatin'!!!!! And ya'll wonder why people say fuck this site all the time... Ya'll "THE SOURCE" of hip hop sites now...

  • March 21, 2007 9:23 PM
  • D-ROC ROC says...
  • BEYONCE IS THE BEST SINGER ALIVE.SHE SINGS BETTER THAN PATTI,MARIAH,KESHYIA,JENNIFER,ASHANTI JENNIFER HOL. SHE'S THE BEST SINGER EVER.NOBODY SINGS BETTER THAN BEYONCE.THAT'S A FACT.BEYONCE IS THE BEST ACTRESS EVER. SHE DESERVES 5 OSCARS 38 GRAMMYS,4 GOLDEN GLOBES,8 NAACP AWARDS,AND AND 7 S.A.G. AWARDS.BEYONCE RULES!!

  • March 21, 2007 9:49 PM
  • Bria04 says...
  • "D-ROC ROC"

    HA HA HA HA...YOUR PLAYING RIGHT? PLEASE TELL ME YOUR PLAYING!!!

  • March 22, 2007 12:52 AM
  • cochise313 says...
  • Damn nigga where do you give this video props... You "LAME AS HELL" you upset cause she doin' it big while you writing blogs and shit for a website thats fell off like the "THE SOURCE"... The video is hott like the song... what you really need to be hatin' is that lame as shit you wrote... and what do you mean yo nigga ML Kay, nigga I hope you black because I never met a brother with the last name Mexico and if you are not ML Kay ain't your nigga... Stop hatin'!!!!! And ya'll wonder why people say fuck this site all the time... Ya'll "THE SOURCE" of hip hop sites now...

    Posted by: Jay at March 21, 2007 9:23 PM
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    bodied his ass

  • March 22, 2007 4:04 AM
  • MARCUS says...
  • WELL BEYONCE IS NOT THE BEST SINGER, SHE IS ALREADY IN HISTORY AS 1 OF THE BEST....THIS THE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT THE UPGRADE U VIDEO.. ALLTHE "RAPPERS" AND OTHER SINGERS RIDEN IN 100,000 OR 300,000 LABS.. THAT CLASSIC ROS ROSE BE HAS INTHE VIDE COST 1 MILL THATS THE SAME KIND JAY BOUGHT 4 HER ON HER B-DAY..

  • March 22, 2007 4:05 AM
  • KJ says...
  • The Video is HOT... Admit that an Move On!!!

  • March 22, 2007 8:51 AM
  • Queen Supreme says...
  • For everybody that's wondering why he's hatin on Bey's video; His blog is called "Talkin Videos: the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos". Do you get it now? I hate smart dumb ass people.

  • March 22, 2007 9:10 AM
  • Mista 16-5 says...
  • What's your nickname for her?" Dude would be compelled to reply, "Vagina Durden."


    you sick homie, but funny as fuck. Sohh should have you to write all the blogs. you damn sure better than that fuck boy that write the ATL blogs

  • March 22, 2007 10:10 AM
  • Jay says...
  • For everybody that's wondering why he's hatin on Bey's video; His blog is called "Talkin Videos: the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos". Do you get it now? I hate smart dumb ass people.

    Posted by: Queen Supreme at March 22, 2007 9:10 AM
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Shorty your point is... At the end of the day the nigga is still hatin'... Who cares what the shit is called... Somethin' is wrong with a muthafucka that can say the latest HATE on Hip Hop TV... Be honest that nigga got issues... Here's an idea, how bout these niggas start writin about the Latest HATE on Lame ASS threads written by lame as writers... Especially with this site, you will never run out of material... NEVER!!

  • March 22, 2007 10:19 AM
  • thebusiness says...
  • jay z is losing it...

    covering them old bags with shades...

    and why is he always in a beyonce vid?

    its like dude is the new hiphop ho, believe me i think beyonce is "big pimpin" him...

    he better be careful, cause we all know it aint gonna last - and he gonna
    regret looking at these stupid ass "hip-pop" videos of him later on...

    ps. beyonce dont mention Martin L. King in your songs, you aint worthy.


  • March 22, 2007 10:52 AM
  • ALLSTAR says...
  • The way she layin on her back, and laughin @ the end of the video (00:03) is sexy. real sexy.


    and C'mon my dude.. hating on a female? I guess its your opinion but, that's not whats poppin. I bet half the people who talk issh about her, would be going crazy if they ever met her. Still she ain't what people make her up to be. Even if its a front for the public, she's always been a sweetheart. Can one of these blogs dig up a video of her snappin'? Do you see her running around Losin' it? Shavin' her head? C'mon man, she got class. And most importantly she's a black woman who made something of herself. Instead of discouraging entertainers, we should set positive examples for young girls who look up to them, to live out their dreams & make something out of themselves. Cause ain't NOBODY giving out issh for free.. you gotta get up get out & get it yourself..so why throw salt on someone who's got it? don't mean 2 preach but it is what it is.


    And she doesn't have bad breath @ all trust me.

  • March 22, 2007 12:27 PM
  • Queen Supreme says...
  • Posted by: ALLSTAR at March 22, 2007 12:27 PM

    100% Co-Sign on the positive, classy black woman comment.

    Posted by: Jay at March 22, 2007 10:19 AM

    Sweetie, my point is that that's his job: to hate on videos. It's entertainment, baby. He lets you know in the heading that the preceding comments are not gonna be nice. It just makes no sense that some people come to a site where he tells you "I'm gonna hate" and get mad when he does. Does that make any sense? (In a retarded voice) Noooooooooo. Not sayin you, babe, but some people are like "Oh my God, I can't believe he hated on Bey! You should burn in hell!" Ain't nobody above gettin hated on; if the shit was weak, it was weak! I hope he continues to hate. When I'm at work, at times its the most entertainin part of my day. HATE, HATE, HATE!!!!

  • March 22, 2007 12:57 PM
  • lesliearnelle says...
  • I just want to get my hands on her and give her a look because the past few videos Ive been SOOOO dissapointed and Im a huge fan of Beyonce..

    Check Me Out B...I could Upgrade U...lol
    www.lesliearnelle.com

  • March 24, 2007 11:24 AM
  • shakira says...
  • man its all about new orleans but b is a fool wit it and jay he is just sexy on the upgrade u video man i wish i was rich like da but like i said if u dont like wat i said holla back on my myspace page holly_1993@yahoo.com thanxs and may god keep bless n yall and maybe u can be rich like my uncle lil wayne fish bitches it yung kira 4 life man im about to go to mida gras peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • April 18, 2007 5:38 PM
  • leelee says...
  • stop hatin every one because her and jay is stan togather and that video was the stuff if u feel me well o just had to say that because yall all can kiss both of there a** ok dumbs

  • April 22, 2007 7:55 PM
  • camille says...
  • i have to tell you i have seen so,e pretty tacky shit but this blog takes the cake.i find americans to be a very intresting group of people you live in the only country in the world where you rejoice in the mishaps of others you build people up just to mash them down then when bill oriley or don imus makes a comment you get your panties in a bunch give me a fucking break when i see how you treat beyonce, oprah and other sucessful blacks in your society do you really blame when the say fuck black i will only deal with whites. food for thought when did oprah have to go all the way to africa to open up a school when you have poor smart black kids in america think about that. honestly to the loser who writes this blog what truley makes you a loser is the fact you get off on putting someone else down and the truth be told if beyonce skinned her pussy out to you and said come get you would be right up in it.

  • June 27, 2007 11:50 PM
  • truthett says...
  • The truth is that most of these sites that hate on our black artist are run by white folks. They know that if they plant an idea in our head some will follow, and then the war begins. We have fought hard to just get to a place where we can own shit, but we fall for the banana in the tailpipe and continue to hate on one another. See the powers that be know that if we were ever to come together as a black people that it would be a new day, but we target Beyonce and Jay-Z and Oprah etc, etc, and in return they target us. Now whi-tee has successfully driven a wedge between us once again. Lets wake up yall and point the finger in the other direction.

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