Oh, what I would have given to see the new-superstar Jon Boy in this episode instead of Powder.
This week on “ego trip’s The White Rapper Show,” our crowded three journey from the Mecca of all hip-hop (no pun intended), to the city that has over the years become the “Mecca of White Hip-Hop.” If Jus Rhyme, Shamrock or John Brown are to make a Rabbit run, it’s gotta go through Detroit.
From the moment I heard they were going to Detroit, I had the strangest feeling they were going to Saint Andrew’s to get their asses handed to them.
After a brief John Brown/Shamrock Prison Peace Summit by the bunk beds, we observe a true-to-life cost of being a VH1 buffoon. Fixing the scope of his AR-15 at the $100,000 prize instead of rolling with the notoriety that would have come to him in already having excelled so far in this nationally televised “competition” (i.e. Persia), Jus Rhyme spurns his PhD grant in Colored Liberation and Salvation Studies to chase his new dream of becoming the next white rapper MC Serch Shanghais in the cold, cold industry.
Powder putting his entire educational future on the line for this shit proves him to be an even bigger shithead than I initially thought. You know you’re fuckin up something terrible when John Brown has that concerned face as he advises you. “Just not the wisest move, man.”
Actually, let me have that one back. That face could either have been concern or John Brown’s general discomfort “around too many white people.” Ghetto Revival, baby! Hallelujah, Holla back!
Bringing these assclowns to “The Mecca of White Hip-Hop” to pay homage to the likes of Eminem and Kid Rock is akin to bringing a bacon egg and cheese to the mosque on 127th & Lenox. Not only are they not welcome, but they are sacrilege in the eyes of the city that molded those Caucasoid champions. Besides, Jus Rhyme got a white woman pork face. The bar has actually been raised since the early 90s. I’m surprised Serch of all people couldn’t come through there with a trio of rappers that he might be able to beat in a battle himself.
At the site of the once integral Hip-Hop Shop, TJ the Trouble Man gave the white rappers a little history on the establishment (turned lingerie shop) and the Detroit scene. "Eminem, yadda, Proof, namedrop, blah blah, yadda…" Did that nigga say Maurice Malone was pumpin his shit out of there? Damn, that gives me a tad more respect for the nigga with them terrible underwear ads of the late 90s.
Ironically, hip-hop music itself is now a lingerie shop-- A collection of panty-drawers and a complete farce of what it once was and could have been. If they wanted to bring this shit full circle, they should have hung John Brown up on a rack next to a tried-on thong.
I don’t have much to say about ICP except them motherfuckers really look like some disgruntled molester birthday clowns. Their makeup jobs are supposed to be the scary part, but I’m more alarmed at how they just talk to people normally like they don’t have that shit on. I wonder if they “clown up” every morning before they start their days. Do they have makeup artists on site? Oh, the questions that arise.
Later, talking to Kid Rock, as former Mr. Anderson-Lee explained the ills of growing up the lone white kid in a circle of hostile silverbacks Serch is like “Nah, they wasn’t takin my chain. I paid entirely too much for protection for some shit like that to happen.”
After the jewels of wisdom from Detroit rap legends, the rapster barbecue is interrupted by an eclectic group of classic Midwestern weird folk (which are different from the weird folk of other regions in their own special way). For example, shit heard at the gathering include but are not limited to: “Uh, oh. Here comes Tupac! He sometimes he’ll sneak up behind me and start fucking me in the ass when I’m doing my yard work. You boys had better be careful.” “Ain’t no shame in my game. I’ll warm a sausage or two.” And of course, lest we forget “I’m trynna promote this uh, fishin!”
A soiree like that would propel me to pursue racial harmony as well, Jus! However, them 15 Anti-Racist Principles that comprise AR-15 are highly disturbing. They are creepy, whiny, roundabout, redundant and don’t express to me that anyone involved with the organization has any serious plan to make a difference by doing anything but whining self-hatred to whoever would be stupid enough to fucking listen.
“Study legacies of resistance?” “Sustain an anti-racist culture?” “Choke on my own dick?” What the fuck does it mean, Jus?
The only thing that held my attention through the "Marshall's Law" media blowjob challenge was the anticipation of the prize. You know how they like to play on words all the time. I thought when dude said “A very, very hefty prize” he was gonna pull some Majin-Buu lookin’ broad out or something. You know these ego trip people don’t know how to act!
Jus Rhyme was salty when he didn’t get picked by King of the Burbs and Champion of Eminem Interview Knowledge. Still, he relished the opportunity to devise anti-racist principles in solitude back at the “How White People Really Be Livin’” house. That trailer reeks of bologna and welfare. I can tell.
Jus’ monologue to the camera parallel’s Dave Chappelle’s "8 Mile" sketch entirely too well.
I don’t know if he was going for “School of Mexico” but Mr. Serchlite is definitely trying to show these kids how to “hate” in preparation for being slaves thrown into the coliseum only to catch a rousing thumbs down. By his approach, I can tell Serch caught that "Mad Ciphas" marathon on BCAT and MNN public access cable networks.
Quote of the Day: “You left this outside! Ohhhhh!” *tosses police t-shirt* - Jus Rhyme (see, even Jus hates snitches!)
I know I ain’t been to Detroit to see my folk in a while, but I know for a fact y’all got better niggas than them Cardi Boys to bring to the battle table. They ain’t horrible, but they ain’t say Eminem, One Man Army (who goes by OneBeLo these days), nothing… I’d rather have seen them battle the Cheddar Boyz. At least the battles would have been somewhat entertaining. The crowd acted like the locals ripped it, but from what I heard, both sides should have been booed off stage.
If Shamrock had any composure, he wouldn’t be so bad. Unfortunately, to an MC, that’s like saying if New York wasn’t so plastic, horse-like and whorish she’d be fuckable. That Gatorade “it” that needs to be in you to perform at a high level in moments like this… Shamrock doesn’t have. It’s a shame, because from day one, he’s the one I wanted to root for. However, I don’t feel right pumping a rapper that doesn’t believe in himself.
I have to admit, Jus Rhyme’s problem is not lack of heart. In fact, the clown is quite courageous and I commend him for that. Unfortunately, when you can’t rap worth shit AND are a complete corn ball I can’t pump you up at this level either. Go listen to some black people rap; loosen up your bandana and come back when you’re done with school.
Damn. White people need to get their shit together. Stay in school!
I’ll give you one more jewel for that cloudy brain of yours John. You can’t call a nigga an “Uncle Tom” and ridicule him about being harassed in the burbs. People can usually tell the difference between one who is joking and being clever and one who is speaking out of his milky ass in complete ignorance. Once again, you are the latter. I’d like to meet the “serious people from the street” that support your jackassery.
With that said, these kids were put into a very tough situation and stood strong. I’ve watched people get their asses handed to them in that very hall growing up. It’s nerve-wracking even for a teenage spectator. My hat does go off to the contestants for not crying, running away, collapsing or calling anyone the n-word. (That’s what I do when I’m frustrated. I just call everyone in the immediate vicinity the n-word.)
They still suck though.
Jus Rhyme’s pre-elimination WWF Saturday morning hype speech was pathetic and indicative of why it was obvious that he wasn’t gonna get a chain from Flavor Flav to stick around the house a little more. Goldie deserved it anyway. Still, out of the remaining finalists, I still don’t see a champion in this regard. We’ll have a winner, but we won’t have a rap star. Sadly, Touchdown Brown and the kid who took a meathook to the face as a baby have a better chance of being America’s Next Top Model than they do being taken seriously as recording artists.
Comments
I JUS DIDNT UNDERSTAND HOW JUS RHYME EVEN GOT THAT DAMN FAR!
LO LOUIS AND LA PEACE ARE NASTY!!! PUTTIN THEM 3 AGAINST GR8 MCs IS JUS DISRESPECTFUL 2 LO LOUIS, LA PEACE AND BAREDA!!
THE BATTLES WERE EMBARRASSING
=TAH=
And I thought your blogs couldn't get any wacker... I WUZ WRONG!!!
JUS RHYMES keep doing your thing!
There's a reason why he never had to go to the ice ice chamber... CAUSE HE'S THAT NICE!!
Hallelujah! Holla back!
All them niggaz is wack. John Brown i lost me with those suburban harassement jokes. and his flow is soo offbeat its almost embarassing to watch..He's settin himself up for multiple robberies if he ever becomes successful....he gets no respect from the hood....Jus rhyme is a joke, he fucked up his school just to get clowned on vh1, and he had no flows and is an ultimate cornball, and the only black people he knows are from the burbs and phd students too. I know for a fact there are better white rappers than shamrock and john brown. who the fuck would buy shamrocks album?????he looks TOO real, cleft pallates aint nothin to fuck with.
JUS RHYME IS NICE?????????? he can't even rap on beat!!!!!
LOL at this show!!!
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I agree with your blog 100% I never took this show seriously. Everyone on there was corny ass fuck! They couldn't rhyme, dress or act. Persia's fat ass got on my fuckin nerves she thought she was the shit and then chocked on some fucking nursery rhyme shit! Lame. John Brown sound like he has a a slight case of downs syndrome.
Mc Serch should just retire from whatever hell he does (Rap/Act..Etc. Hip hop is serious to me and he for some reason he seemed to be making a mockery of it. I dont respect that! The show had its funny moments but all in all it was a train wreck and of course you have to just watch to see what the fuck happens! Nas is right!
Hip- Hop is dead!
I'm amazed that Jus Rhyme made it that far. The interesting this is this show had the pontential to be good if VH1 had went about it the right way, but instead they relied upon a bunch of stupid ass stereotypes and fuckery every week.
Hallelujah Holla Back!
My hat does go off to the contestants for not crying, running away, collapsing or calling anyone the n-word. (That’s what I do when I’m frustrated. I just call everyone in the immediate vicinity the n-word.)
Posted by Ron Mexico at February 21, 2007 11:02 AM
That's funny.
I'm gonna have to agree with you. There are no stars on this show. I had high hopes for Persia and Shamrock, but they turned out to be like me; people who could write a mediocre rhyme given enough time to conecentrate on it. It's too bad it took me weeks of watching this show to realize that.
Ron, you talk a lot of shit for a gay man. Now your callin ICP child molesters? I can't beleive you made it through a whole blog post without making fun of the dipset. You know Violent Jay would shank you in the neck if you called him a child molester to his face. Instead though, you hide behind a computer with a corny alias talkin shit (which your not really good at; I would'nt put you on the Jim Rome smack-off or nothing). Pussy.
dem white boys were trash but dem cardi boyz were garbage..damn that was just terrible
Jus Rhyme is the heat. Cuzz is spitting that pro-black message from a white mans life tip. How can't that shit be hot. This show is the best ever if your'e looking for pure uncut raw talent. Take Jon Brown. Dude alone is sparking a ghetto revival. How is that not what the game is about. I love Hallelujah Holla Back. I actually answer my phone like that shit now. "Daniels residence Hallelujah Holla Back". Cuzz that shit is real. On the real Jus Rhyme needs to quit. I'm in LA and I'm looking for the AR 15 crew. How is one of your principles about non violence and your crew is tagged after a gun? That's like having a band named Sperm Drinkers and swearing you don't suck dick. Jon Brown is slow. Shamrock actually seems like he likes what he does. I don't knock dude, he's just not that good. Foreal though answer your phone like that. That shit is funny. It's bullshit coming from JB's mouth but it's pure comedy when it comes out of yours.
Hey Ron Mex....how comes you never did a review of Cam Ron's Curtis Video??? you only did 50's...
somebody kill this show kill these wannabe rappers eminem's cool serch had his moment in 89, paul wall's okay but come on everybody and their mnama wanna rap glad persia's gone a big black lesbian should pimp slap her. blaxploitation 2007 what's next oh yeah flav and deelishis broke up word is shje's dating busta.
Shamrock is copying my whole style I know he looks up to me but theres only room for one white nursery rhyme rapper from the South!!
On the real they all sucked. John Brown is the stupidest and says some dumb shit, but he's the best left. Shamrock is horrible. Plus it looks like someone hit his face with a brick. Jus Rhyme kept talking about snitching, what in the fuck? No comment on him, he doesn't even need to be spoken on.
What I would like to know is how Kid Rock and ICP have anything to do with Hip Hop? Get those faggot ass dudes off the TV and don't act like they got lyrics or skills, damn this show is stupid....
Damn Ron.. I didn't know you was up on the chedda boyz!
::singin:: "I'm A Chedda Boy Baby/That's Fa Sho..."
I don't even watch this minstrel show, but I may have to catch this episode. Detroit WHAT!
Long Live The Real D.
Ron,
I like the white rapper show for this reason. Unlike other shows on the air, we are getting HIPHOP history and HIPHOP artists who mean something like Brand Nubian, Kool Keith, Everlast, Prince Paul, Grandmaster Flash, Non-Phixion, etc. These days you rarely get that. MTV and BET does not care about HIPHOP and its history. What MC Serch is doing is crucial because the kids out there need to know who are the real HIPHOP cats. Also, you need to check yourself and stop dissing MC Serch. It is absolutely foolish. He is part of the history. By the way, he is an MC not a phony entertainer. 3rd Bass represented to the fullest with that balance of party joints which conscious rhymes. Instead of dissing for no reason, check songs like No Master Plan No Master Race, Steppin To The A.M, Problem Child, etc. He is very important, and he is passing down HipHop history. He was at the Latin Quarters, which was a major venue for HIPHOP. So he knows what went down. Another thing, Eminem does not do this. I hear all this stuff about him being creative, witty, etc.,, but when it comes down to it, he rarely represents the culture and its history. He will shout out Masta Ace and G. Rap at the Grammy's, but we do not hear that in his music. He is very selective and inconsistent, whereas MC Serch does it day in and day out. Everlast does it too. Oh yeah, let me just add this to your homework assignment, study "Whitey's Revenge" by Everlast which is the blueprint of how to defeat Eminem. I heard you in your blog a few weeks ago talking nonsense about Everlast getting a tongue lashing from Eminem. This is the biggest media lie. Everlast took him out and that's it.
Peace and much respect
B.R.O.T.H.A.W.E.X
i liked jus rhymes 15 principles. you'd have to be immature or a supporter of racism to not appreciate them.
i don't think letting the phD opportunity slide was a good idea. however, we don't know the whole story to that. i'm sure he will be alright.
I can't believe that people are taking this show seriously! They are wack! None of those clowns could have a real career in the rap game unless Em wrote for them personally....and never left they side. Nope I take that back they would still be the fool from the white rapper show. And why was the poor white trash house nicer than the white house which is supposed to depict the way we as black people live! Yeah I'm still pissed about that! We don't have junk and roaches just cause we black.
i think persia was the tightest on there.. that cat from boston was good 2. but like someone said i dont know how the phuck jus rhyme made it.. he is disrespecting l.a. but i bet u hear persia's ass later on in life. but all in all i think dude from alt will get it
What you need to do is check out the squad the panhandoelr corp www.myspace.com/panhandoelrcorp
peace to those who support to those who don't two words for you fuck you!!!!!!!
get out first two releases the many phases of big nose and cornrolls by ug skrilla this album is a classic.
And Dirty harry by bmc this album is the hardest album out right now no soft shit on this album straight hardcore shit. And be on the lookout for albums by Box and Hef also we got the shiznit and more watch out for the PanHandoelr Corp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For those of you that dont no eminem developed his style from icp. Iam not saying there the same style but all the murder and humor put together came from icp. As for kid rock hes wack.
Jus rhyme is soo fuckin raw! He didn't let nobody change him or his views. He stayed true to his self and his cause. And the best episode was when jus told dat dude that he didn't want the lap dance b/c he had too much respect 4 his girlfriend. Now that's a true man, and he's gonna be alright he already dun coped his bachelors and masters....besides he said at the end of the episode that he just have to work to pay off school. I wish more people could be like dat MAN. And ron ur a fuckin hater u could never be on jus's level AS A MAN u fuckin blog hoe. Fuck outta here with ur hateration. Fall back and do a halleijuah hollaback on dat 1.
B.R.O.T.H.A.W.E.X,
I love what you said and I agree 150%. That is the reason I watch the show.
Big shouts out to Jus Rhyme for gettin them degrees man. So many rappers (or wanna be rappers) dont realize how much education could help you. thats why i respect lil wayne for going to college and david banner for graduating from college. Lets be forreal the people with the educations run the country. I just wish we as a people wouldnt talk down school and actually realize what it could help you accomplish in life.
what group were lo louis and la peace from?
"If Shamrock had any composure, he wouldn’t be so bad. Unfortunately, to an MC, that’s like saying if New York wasn’t so plastic, horse-like and whorish she’d be fuckable."
The blog wasn't even about that bitch and you still gave her the business! That is haterism at it's finest!!!
Why did Shamrock win??? He's wack. He's a poser. His lyrics sucked and he mumbled and slured his words. I thought fore sure, John Bron was gona win, and he should have. Shamrock sucks!
I agree. Shamrock sucks ass. What dumbass was judging them anyway. John Brown should have won.
THE BEST RAPPERS ON THIS SHOW, WENT HOME ON THE SAME NIGHT. SULLIE AND JON BOY. PERSIA TALKED MORE SHIT THEN A LITTLE BUT SHE CHOKED, EVERYTIME. I WANTED HER TO SPEND MORE TIME DOING HER, INSTEAD OF TRYING TO PROVE HOW FAKE "DA KING OF THE BURBS" WAS. HE COULD DO A COLLAB WITH WIERD AL! LMFAO
FAR ROC GOTTA BE PISSED AT PERSIA.
ALL IN ALL, THE SHOW WAS COMEDY TO ME. I WATCHED. LMAO GOOD TO SEE WHITE BAFFOONS AFTER 4 SEASONS OF MY MAN FLAV, ON VH1. AND I LOVE FLAV BUT THEY COULD HAVE GIVEN US A BALANCE WITH A FOLLOW UP SHOW WITH CHUCK D.
IT WAS COMEDY. PURE ENTERTAINMENT. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS. YALL BELEIVE IN AFFIRMATIVE ACTION, RIGHT? LET THE WHITE RAPPERS HAVE THEIR SHOW THEN. WE DON'T GET TO MONOPOLIZE THE BAFFONERY CURCUIT, ANYMORE! THANK YOU GOD!
HALLELUJAH, HOLLA BACK! HAHAHAHA
POWER TO THE PEOPLE! [WHO DESERVE IT]
white power!
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