TALKIN' VIDEOS

the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos

TALKIN' VIDEOS - the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos

Barclays' 2006 Talkin' Videos Awards: Clarence Williams the Third

Posted on February 8, 2007 12:08 PM

Barclays' Talkin' Videos Awards will continue after a brief word from a lesser sponsor.

You’re a proud black sister. A true African original. Your ancestors smile upon you and your determination in the struggle. Your darkened womb is cradle of all civilization.

justformebox.jpg

Now slap this shit in that nappy ass head of yours so you can come out in public.

(Just for Me No-Lye relaxer now comes in Crispy, Crunchy, Nappy and Nipsey. Select the level of incineration that's right for you.)

Moving right along... As it's Thursday, it's only appropriate that we give out the Ice Blue and Burgundy Philadelphia Phillies jersey award for Throwback of the Year today... Just like last season.

While some throwbacks garnered more attention, no throwback received the acclaim from the viewing public that De La Soul's 1996 offering "Stakes Is High" did. That shit was about as pivotal and pertinent as a video can get and represents the beauty of strolling down memory lane together on Thursdays.

Other nominees: Junior Giscombe - "Mama Used To Say" | Method Man - "Bring The Pain" | Hammer - "Pumps and A Bump" | Nelly - "Tip Drill"

We'll be right back after this...

The #1 Motion Picture of the Urban/Contemporary Negro/Hip-Hop Culture is now the #1 clothing necessity of the ghetto!

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Awwww! We got that shit in WOMEN'S!

"Elvira! Elvira! *awkward silence* It's okay... Another Quaalude, she love me in the morning."

scarfacejacket-women.gif

Scarface: Available on DVD, jacket and Playstation! (Check your local African retailer/burger stand.)

The World Is Yours, Darkie! Just like Tony!

Welcome back. Next Mexican is the coveted Silky Johnson Award for Filthiest Hate!

"I know that ain't Beautiful talkin'!"

Our first full calendar year of Talkin' Videos had plenty of classics to look back on. Unfortunately, no one got my greasy, post-workout nutsack across their dinner plate like Freeway Ricky Ross did for his "Hustlin'" video. In a 20/20 special with "The Real Noriega," Rick Ross' shrimp-eatin' ass was exposed for all the 106 & Parkers to see.

Oh, we whip it real hard round hurr.

Other nominees: Mobb Deep - "Put 'Em In Their Place" | India.Arie feat. Akon - "I Am Not My Hair" | Brooke Hogan - "About Us" | Rihanna - "Unfaithful"

The great and powerful Master Barclays will permit licensed promotion for one more sponsor today.

From the people who brough you such literary classics as "Dime Piece," "Hold You Down," "Black and Ugly" and "Whore" comes the next great Ghetto Pulitzer contender:

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Beat'n Down Yo' Block with the finest of subway literature is Triple Crown Publications:

"When you don't really feel like reading..."

Damn. They still got their Christmas shit up! And I still didn't get my autographed copy of "Homo Thug!"

Anyway, The last award of the day is the Jimmie "J.J." Walker Ug-Mug Award for Ugliest Video Star.

This year there were far too many nominees to narrow down to a top 5 or less, so I decided to give equal and opportune shine to the following shines: Jim Jones, Jimime Walker himself, The Game, Ugly Luther, T-Pain, Young Dro, Jay-Z, Lloyd Banks, Chamillionaire, Paul Wall, Big Gipp, Shawn J of Field Mob, Rick Ross, Ying Yang Twinz/Da Musicianz, Lil Wayne & Baby, Lil’ Kim, Bobby Brown, Flavor Flav, New York AKA CB4, her ManBearPig mother, Juvenile and CHG the Incorrigible Negro.

Honorable mention to Chamillionaire though.

talkinvideos@sohh.com

Fuck with us tomorrow as we wrap up the 2006 Awards in style.

Posted by Ron Mexico

Comments

  • c b w says...

  • You have gone above and beyond the call of hate today. Funny shit man. And I also appreciate the usage of the Ugly Luther name.

    Personal highlights of this episode:

    Now slap this shit in that nappy ass head of yours so you can come out in public.

    (Just for Me No-Lye relaxer now comes in Crispy, Crunchy, Nappy and Nipsey. Select the level of incineration that's right for you.)

    From the people who brough you such literary classics as "Dime Piece," "Hold You Down," "Black and Ugly" and "Whore" comes the next great Ghetto Pulitzer contender:

    Beat'n Down Yo' Block with the finest of subway literature is Triple Crown Publications:

    "When you don't really feel like reading..."


    You was wildin' today son!!!!

  • February 8, 2007 2:04 PM
  • JIM JONES says...

  • THIS BLOG IS . . .
    BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

  • February 8, 2007 2:46 PM
  • Lowedwn says...

  • THIS BLOG IS . . .
    BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

    Posted by: JIM JONES at February 8, 2007 2:46 PM

    ****************************************

    shut and go shower cuz!!!


    but Ron no Man-Bear-Pig for the Jimmy Walker award??? That's the definitive winner in my book

  • February 8, 2007 4:27 PM
  • Ron Mexico says...

  • word... my bad. i will correct that. man bear pig must be up there.

    cbw... you know that's all you, baby!

  • February 8, 2007 4:42 PM
  • Essex says...

  • This is one of the funniest Blogs ever.

    You get Props today my dude!
    Keep that shit up my nigga.

    "Dorchester Univercity"

  • February 8, 2007 7:33 PM
  • Pretty_Dreamer says...

  • I'm sorry, but the funniest part has got to be the "Just For Me" bit. That goes down in history. It reminds me of the "Go On Girl!" skit from In Living Color. I can hear old girl right now..."You are a strong black woman...Go On Girl!" Too funny Ron. Keep It Up!

  • February 8, 2007 8:27 PM
  • b real says...

  • its sad but why is demeaning black people funny? or glorifing a drug king that is somewhat responsible from poisoning blacks. How does this not get you mad. After all the progress that we have made and all the obstacles that are still ahead why arent they discussed regularly? where are the black panthers? where are our young leaders that will make that tranistion once Al,Jesse, and Maya have gone? Is it still funny?


    b easy

  • February 9, 2007 9:11 AM
  • c b w says...

  • b real,

    I mean no disrespect to you at all, but did you not see the sign above the door while walking into this room?

    "the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos"

    It has nothing to do with demeaning black people, but as I once heard....You can't be framed if you're not in the picture.

    It's just comedy. And if it's that upsetting, create a site where you could talk freely about perms,preachin' and poems.

    It's just comedy.

  • February 9, 2007 9:25 AM
  • b real says...

  • It is comedy but at whos expense? Thats real on the scareface icon shit. Why are we so fasicanted with him, he may have came from nothing to a kingpin so what could be learned from that dont get caught. Why not che if you want to put an hispanic on icon level for blacks to follow.


    b easy

  • February 9, 2007 10:16 AM
  • Quell says...

  • "Scarface: Available on DVD, jacket and Playstation! (Check your local African retailer/burger stand.)

    The World Is Yours, Darkie! Just like Tony!"

    This is just too funny and so true. Since when have us Negroes been the target market for a hispanic based product. HAHAHAHA I love these damn awards and sponsors.

  • February 9, 2007 10:25 AM
  • S.W.A.T.S 73 says...

  • @ Ron Mexico

    Get at your co-worker Gyant

    He need your flavor patna...GOOD SHIT

    Zone 4 Ben Hill
    Atlanta

  • February 9, 2007 1:25 PM
  • no one (that's my nick) says...

  • b real,
    i think you've missed the point. everything you are saying seems to be exactly what this blog is pointing out. ron is just doing it in comedic form. that's nothing new. Dick Gregory did the same thing. maybe you can start a blog that does it in serious form. i would visit that too.
    btw, it's not like ron mexico is glorifying this stuff like kat williams would. my take is that he thinks the shit is fucked up and rediculous.

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