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The White Rapper Show: I... KNOW... BLACK PEOPLE!!!
Posted on January 24, 2007 10:25 AM
Hallelujah, holler back, everyone.
This week on "The White Rapper Show," our young butchers are again instructed on how to be bakers. After briefly meeting Lord Jamar and Sadat X of Brand Nubian the mashed potato collective gets a mouthful of some more of that good old reverse racism as they finally get to visit "the studio."
Grand Puba's schedule was a little too busy to join The Wild Cowboy and Supreme Allah on national fucking TV of all places.
So, as excited as I was from the cliffhanger commercial err since last week, Supreme Allah vs. John Brown disappointed me a bit. I mean, it wasn't even black dildo to the face, let alone prag rape. Dude got off kinda easy. I guess unlike eager ass Sadat, Jamar got tired of trying to reason with a shitbird like that.
What the fuck is up with this kid? With his back against the wall, all he can say coherently is "Hallelujah, holler back. Hallelujah, holler back. Hallelujah, holler back." like fucking Rain Man or some shit.
After receiving "jewels," the Leaders of the Ghetto Revival are ready for the studio. Why must the show flog and flag these kids throughout the hood this way? I wouldn't get into a van that said "White Rappers On Board." There's no need to make oneself that type of target. I bet they make them sit in the back of the van too. It's all fun and games until you're sitting on cinder blocks or outright carjacked on one of them sidestreets in the Bronx. Ask Stephon Marbury.
Surprise! The "studio" is a television studio where our 8 remaining finalists participate in an Ego Trip edition of Family Feud designed to assess knowledge of not hip-hop, not even black culture en masse, but black stereotypes before Prince Paul and a live negro audience. Niiiiice!
Can I really fault these kids for not knowing what black people think of the stereotypes imposed upon them? I damn sure don't know what white folk think of this shit on the other foot, and I'm bombarded with their culture on a daily basis.
Paul argues that this challenge is designed to get their contestants in tune with their core audience. If that's really what they wanted to do, they needed to roll that van up to Westchester and fill up a studio with well-to-do/wealthy white kids ages 12-20, 65-70 percent female and quiz them about the plight of the characters on last season of Laguna Beach.
Hosted by Vanna Night (clever), a girl who wisely chose with all her might against becoming a Flavor of Love contestant, "Affirmative Reaction" once again ineffectively superimposed the black experience on these Wonder bread slices. Whatever happened to a rapper sharing their own experience? I'd like to hear a little bit about growing up inbred in West Virginia from Jon Boy! I wanna know why G-Child hates her parents so much! 100 Proof is dying to tell us about that one time he had sex with a chocolate animal woman!
With all that said, I had some problems with the results of the surveys:
1. I ain't never seen Bill Clinton on notta nann notta barbershop wall! I seen Michael Jordan on damn near every one though. Even the Dominican ones! No Mike on the list?!2. Persia... You walk around with a 22-inch black dildo folded over in your bag and you let Young Heff beat you to "bigger packages?" Come on, girl. Where Far Rock at?! I KNOW you white girls out there!
3 . "Best Dancers" didn't make the list of stereotypes we think are true? Shit, I guess that one's just fact, huh? Kidz' Bop Chicken Noodle Soup! I rest my case.
4. Innocent, nutritious O.J.? Wowsers!
I see G-Child has watched her some Soul Train on them slow Saturday mornings! That shit still trynna sell TCB! I was dying at Ford Vehicles. Those niggas really do push them shits on us. I didn't even notice. I was too busy looking for Kool-Aid and Tyson Chicken on the list.
I take my hat off for salty, hate-filled joke of the season. I know Sullee didn't appreciate the parting gift of "White Privelege" but damn, that was a good one.
The winners got to have Juelz Santana's balls for dinner. Damn. If Misfit could eek out a verse with a sliver of effort, she could have had the first and last licks at Amy Ruth's. By the way, that back/upstairs area you went to is NOT a fucking VIP section! That's where they put everyone, dumbass. You ain't see niggas there with they kids and shit?!
John Brown, here's why you're the most entertaining motherfucker on television right now. That small brain must be attached to some huge balls to give a nigga a cardboard business card you cut out in your room before dinner. Jesus. You truly lack all dignity and self-respect, don't you, boy?
Back at the house, Shamrock didn't mind watching other people's drawers. Sweetheart puckered his clefted lips and got his "I Love Lucy" on. Tombout "There's a lot I'd do for 100Gs, baby." I reckon so, Sham. What else would you do with a grip of cash as the legitimizer? BJ? RJ? HJ? ZJ? Shit, I guess you are ready to be the next rap star! Sign here, lick this spoon and grab your ankles, son.
In the greatest tragedy of all, MC Serch sends these kids to the barber shop to "get their wigs pushed back." I don't think Serch is aware of what he's saying. Black jargon/hood slang/ebonics have changed much since 1992. Even tussin-sippin' ass G-Child knows that's not a good thing.
As Sullee failed to impress, Persia came up in that motherfucker lookin (and sounding) her Sunday best. How homegirl up in the barbershop with her shit freshly done and a rose in her ear? Amazing. Better question. Is Jus Rhyme running for president of Uganda? He needs a dildo on his lips worse than King of the Burbs. Persia, please hook him up with Black Inches.
In the Ice Ice Baby chamber, G-Child finally succumbs to her inferior talent, but gives Sullee a run for his money. Dude let his emotions get the best of him and his rhyme derailed. While I see Heff as having the potential to win it all, collapses like these could keep him out of the top four. There's no way he should be outlasted by Powder or Jon Boy, but I can easily envision a final four of Persia, John Brown, Shamrock and 100 Proof (who murders in the ice chamber).
Serch criticizes 100 Proof for a simplistic, early 90s flow (far more intricate than his own at any point), yet they don't challenge or instruct these guys on damn near anything MC-related. I guess by this point VH1 and Ego Trip have made it very clear that they aren't looking to cultivate creative minds or contribute to the culture, but generate cheap laughs with lame running white jokes.
Hallelujah, holler back.
Comments
Thats real talk
http://www.myspace.com/dremoneymusic
"Reggaelutionizing Hip Hop" Check it
This show is just too funny for me. They are doing all these activities that the producers think are going to make them better rappers, but is not. That show is straight comedy, i really like tha King of the Burbs but he needs to get that Burb thing together. On the other hand, Persia is just your average Bronx Female rapper, i heard her lines all over Foxy's and Eve's albums, we need something different.
I refuse to allow myself to be bamboozeled by the power that be...mtv and vh1 need to stop this kinda crap. We are hurting our own causes by allowing them to destroy our culture in this fashion. Us providing ratings for these shows guarantees a continuing trend of dumbed down, undermining racially charged formats of television. We might as well be in the 1920's since that's how far back these trends are setting us minorities back.
I guess by this point VH1 and Ego Trip have made it very clear that they aren't looking to cultivate creative minds or contribute to the culture, but generate cheap laughs with lame running white jokes.
Posted by Ron Mexico at January 24, 2007 10:25
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
co-sign!
John Brown is just too cut up dude got jokes for days and he dont even realize what a clown he is.....100 proof is the last white ppl need, another white gimmick rapper dude flows ight but he got the look of a straight dumbazz. persia spits the same rhyme everytime she needs to impress nebody the line about "eatin your food" go figure that fat B1tch always talkin bout food, but shamrock is gonna win u can just tell serch aint gonna let him go unless he really do somethin wrong
This was an ok show..I was glad G Child was outta there..I was tired of here no confidence having ass..Jon Boy and his ghetto revival need to b toasted as well..His ass can never give a clear educated answer to what the hell it is..n my girl persia she did her thing in the shop I do hope she makes it
This was an ok show..I was glad G Child was outta there..I was tired of her no confidence having ass..Jon Boy and his ghetto revival need to b toasted as well..His ass can never give a clear educated answer to what the hell it is..n my girl persia she did her thing in the shop I do hope she makes it
This show is hilarious. But the competitions seem more intent on embarassing them, not findin the "next white rapper"...None of them will ever blow up, just from being on this show. its just for people to laugh at..... Try to imagine em or paul wall on this show..... Eminem had to get beat up and called a cracker one hundred and seven two times before they would even let him in the cypher....and paul wall had to drink at least 700 gallons of lean in the ghetto before niggas would listen to his mixtape, so what chance do any of these muthafuckas have??? I would say persia, but that bitch needs a lipo to get to missys size.......jon brown is a funny stupid whiteboy....that dude makes no sense......"king of the burbs", "ghetto revival", "hallaluya, holla back", and aint he the nigga that called oj "nutritious"???? what the fuck does any of the shit he says mean???? that show might not bring any potential grammy winners, but reverse racism and watchin white people squirm in from of blacks is a beautiful thing!!!!! but why they make the "mcs" damn near salute and bow to any black person?????? why was that one WHITEBOY spittin bout black impowerment?????????? he got the shit twisted.....fuck rap, if i was white Id be president or walkin into buildings like "gimme a office, im white!!!"
ps- why that nigga mc serch ride the dick of every black person on that show????
how can a white person "revive the ghetto"???? that makes no sense.....fuck a white rapper. peep a black rapper myspace.com/polohiphop.......fuck a ghetto revival......fuck a king of the burbs, im king of all hoods......ron mexico, you are funny than a muthafucka homey, are you mexican or something????
myspace.com/polohiphop
Mejico, good job on this blog...not as funny as the last one but still good. I was looking at that VIP section really suspect too...funny how there were at least 4 other white people in the "vip" section. Juelz didn't really say shit to any of them, but nobody really does anyways. My prediction is that Jon Boy will be ousted next.
That show is a disgrace.
MC Serch should be ashamed of himself.
White Rapper Show.
Hell to the No.
This show = racist...and if you dont kno why you should pick up a book!
Man , you write blogs like a cotdayum moron...
you KNOW diz show showcases how there is eagerness to juz gettin ratings...i dont know what or how the process of piccing these contestants was...cuz half or more than half cant really kicc a rhyme..an please get some help to mc serch designer..cuz that swapmeet gear he is wearin on the show is not good for publicity..makes him look broke..hey maybe he is..but any who..bacc to all the unfortunate rappers that could have been on this show that really could have made sumthing of themselves. instead they picc a random no name guys that berly can keep it real...shout out to ignorant ass john brown..a.k.a da king of da burbs..cuz despite his no makin sense self ..he is one of the few that have raise sum eye brow's when he does rhyme...other than that..give it to persia..shamrocc is to mike jones..or else he be tight...oh an next time u want to bring a lyricist to da white house...make sure is sumone who really raps...not juelz santana..he is garbage..who looks up to him to kicc sum knowledge..bring sum one who really matters in da rap world..aight then peace..my dude'z..juz my 2cents..keepin it real..from da lil city..of s.c..los angELES...ONE
this bullshit of a show is a disgrace and it's killing hiphop why do white people always try to act black? it don't make no sense first they take rock n roll and now they try to take hiphop!!!!!! that will never happen theres jus to much black hiphop talent out there and these white dudes better step back your only hiphop representer will be eminem but thats where it stops
AY FAM WHY DO PERSIA DO THE SAME RAP EVERY TIME..."I REP MY SET TO THE DEATH/AND ILL EAT YOUR FOOD!" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
I don't know if Persia won, but she was all up in the Red Maple Club(Baltimore) prancing around. Homegirl needs a stylist or just some style period!
Hell we been shuckin and jivin all these years for them let them shuck and jive for us!!! I only got one problem though....why just a WHITE rapper show? You know this shit would have been 100 times better if it was 5 black mc's and 5 white mc's!!! In the BRONX!!! Mc Serch ass would probally have been robbed 100 times!! That bitch would have gotten fucked before she got kicked off!! And Persia would have been passed around like a James Brown sample!!! (I bet her head game is serious) SHITTT she definately aint afraid of the BIG ones thats for damn sure!!! And you know what they say about white girls!!!!!
Cosign Essex. This is the worst show on tv right now, bar none.
Mexican Gangs are affiliated with the Aryan nation. Remember that when you see it on the news
I LOVE U ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!
and ummmmm i spit for like 15 min, the power of editing. *stikks tongue out*
I don't care what none of yall say persia is sexy! Ma was lookin mad good in the barber shop.
Ron Mex:
Easily one of the best blogs you've done in a while, IMHO. The "get your wigs pushed back" thing had me crying tears! Good shit.
damn...no interview with G-Child post-elimination?
I expected more from Mc Serch. The industry embraced this dude 3rd Bass The Cactus album was hot as fck. And this is how you repay hip hop? With some fckin reverse coonery pokin fun at Hip Hop as if this rap shit isnt fckin ridiculous enuff this dude gotta call a show THE WHITE RAPPER SHOW?
Y couldnt he have a show with rappers from all races competin? now that would be hot and it would show how diverse and influential Hip Hop has gotten but noooo that's not good TV I guess.
Not a bad blog. Your next blog is wack.
Jus Rhymes- I See you Baby! Keep Dem Flows Tight and Positive.
Ayo that verse he spit at Juelz was SICK!!
Hallelujah, Holla Back!!!
Not a bad blog. Your next blog is wack.
Jus Rhymes- I See you Baby! Keep Dem Flows Tight and Positive.
Ayo that verse he spit at Juelz was SICK!!
Hallelujah, Holla Back!!!
1) You may shuck and jive throughout your live, I and many other black people don't either.
2) You can't just blame white CEOs for the demise of black culture. Also blame those who are in the entertainment industry too who perpetuate these concepts and stereotypes.
3) This is a TV show. Please name when TV shows have really every shown black people in a positive light.
4) I like the fact that these guys get clowned just for being white. Welcome to my life everyday, no matter what I accomplish. And that's thanks to both white and black people.
5) If you know anything about ego trip, you know that they aren't racists, although the show does initially come off that way. Check out their "Big Book of Racism and their "Book of Rap Lists".
6) FInally, Serch was nice in his day.
a iwoulda taped g -chiled 4 sho
who the fuck picked these people to be on this show. It is simply to give the fucking niggers another reason to laugh at some white guy. There is people out there with real talent its apparent they arent looking for that. and what the fuck does mc serches nigger lovin ass think he is. hes a fucking bitch and i would love the chance to beat that litte faggot into submission. there is one simple reason that there is no white person with talent on this show and thats because the niggers know that it would mark the beggining of white people taking over your bullshit rap game. FUCK RAP anyway nothing but half minded niggers and they should be all drowned.
I forgot to add that i'm a fag.
Shamrock is fine he's da best up there but persia needs to get her drezz skillz up she ugly and 4 sum reason think she's hood I'll beat dat fat nasty azz....
$hamrock needs to eat my pussy =)
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