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I Love New York: Please, Let Me Testify!
Posted on January 30, 2007 8:00 AM
Before you lock my love awayyyyy, along with my dignity -- and what’s left of my sanity -- please, let me testify as I’ve come to a few realizations. First, before watching last night’s episode of “I Love New York” I hadn’t been as embarrassed by a group of black men since "State Property 2". Secondly, I would not fuck ashy-ass New York with Pootie’s dick dipped in sherm. Thirdly, I’m embarrassed that I couldn’t tell Heat was a junkie. Finally, I lost a Final Four pick.
Let’s throw his undercover-ass a party. Yeah! A surprise party for my new best friend!
As Chamo YMCA's the remaining manwhores into their challenge of carpentry and architecture, I can’t help but notice that every member of the collective either looks like 2Pac, a Village Person, an extra from “Blood In, Blood Out,” or some combination of the three. VH1 finally flexes its muscle and shows that these dudes weren’t going to sit around for 11 episodes holding their dicks and smiling. Nay! They’re going to make doghouses for Majesty, Princess Tiffany’s only friend.
While the Boston vs. Chance saga rages on (with an argument about a champagne room in their doghouse), 12 Pack proceeds to display the mighty goon hand over his prag, Heat, who apparently can handle wood with the best of them.
Impressed with the chain gang sweating all over Flavor Flav’s lawn, this wophead New York fantasizes about using a damn power saw in bed. Shit, whether that’s her natural coronation of ash or some cheap-ass moolie-colored pantyhose she's rocking with the G.I. Joe drawers, this broad already looks like somebody done gave her the once-over with a power sander. Lookin like Roadblock, girl!
Since 12 Pack and his 2 flunkies Bootz and Buck… umm… Heat and Real won the dollhouse challenge with some Project Runway-worthy shit, I got a chance to examine Heat in his confessional. I’m sorry I’ve egregiously overlooked the fact that this man is a raging cocaine monster. It’s not like Mr. “Heat is ON! *sniffle*” is just showing this now. Nigga look like Michael J. Fox in a butterfly collar. That tingle is called Simplex 5, Butterlips. That’s that instant herp!
And oh, yeah. Heatrock ain’t talkin bout no damn woman when he says “Yaya” has to eat first. That’s the little pet name for his yayo.
He bows to the table mirror and thanks Yaya every day for carrying him this far.
Yaya also drove this broken man to aid and abet Rick James in a criminal plot to stalk and kidnap Tiff Pollard. Al Cowlings over here held the ladder while calm, quiet Captain Cockblock crept around the balcony like Agent Lee in “Enter the Dragon.” I love how the nigga had time to eat and drink champagne while on special ops recon.
After the triple dong date ends, Psycho Real is the only one with sense enough to take his ass upstairs. Heat and 12 Pack decide to spoon, sip and smoke a wet Dutch. Onix was about ready to jump in on that lovely scenario. He could smell Heat in heat. O-Dog wanted to join Heat and 12 Pack for a drunken late night game of “gookie cornbread” …and throw the match.
“We’re just drinkin buddies, Alma.”
Boston, don’t let Darth Vader fade you. She is pressing the issue. We know you’ll be okay if you and New York have a little Jeter baby. I'd be more wary of that 25% chance of ManBearPig though. Them genes is dominant than a mawfucka too.
That Cicely Tyson spectacle in the church house, Sister Patterson… God don’t like that, boo boo. I’m with you, Onix. Testify, brother! You ain’t supposed to play like that in a church… filled with cameras… and fake ass bourgie niggas.
With that said, Tango, you continue to disappoint me. You disloyal, bitchmade, fool-ass motherfucker. I thought you’d take a stand lined up against these soft-ass niggas. First you let Whiteboy punk you, then you cry like a little bitch with a splinter in your pinky. I didn’t tally that initial count of snitchin against you because Pootie was crazy, but now I see this is just how you operate. We once had Red Oyster, now your ass is Blue Oyster. I wonder what poor, unsuspecting nigga is gonna catch a Captain Harris next week.
Yep. Tango & Cash. Rico Suave and this dude playin the 2007 C.H.I.P.S. on niggas. We gonna see how they get dealt with in the coming weeks.
We knew Onix was gone from the moment he opened his scrotophile lips to “disrespect [New York’s] mama’s fate.” (Note: Not faith but fate.) Heat goes home to Mama and Yaya. Mr. Boston lives!
I was gonna do up some T-Shirts, but that’s a little extreme. Instead, I’ve decided I’m gonna have a Mr. Boston at the bar every weekend until dude is eliminated.
Ummm… No Chamo.
Comments
First!!
And that broad gets on my damn nerves!! With her vaseline slip and slide ass!!
First Bitches!!!
This show is so gay. All them niggas is sweet. New York moms looks like Ben Wallace in a wig.
^^^^^ I agree. This show is slowly but surely losing my interest. "Sista Patterson" got a 6 head not a forehead.
Boston, don’t let Darth Vader fade you.
LOL!!!....hilarious! i can't believe he called her that. that and punk ass tango's splinter was the highlights of the show. Pure Coonery.
Boston, don’t let Darth Vader fade you.
LOL!!!....hilarious! i can't believe he called her that. that and punk ass tango's splinter was the highlights of the show. Pure Coonery.
Boston, don’t let Darth Vader fade you.
LOL!!!....hilarious! i can't believe he called her that. that and punk ass tango's splinter was the highlights of the show. Pure Coonery.
Boston, don’t let Darth Vader fade you.
LOL!!!....hilarious! i can't believe he called her that. that and punk ass tango's splinter was the highlights of the show. Pure Coonery.
This show is getting real week...where's the drama?
Why do I get this feeling that New York gave the show future results away by saying "Wouldnt if be funny if both brothers (Real and Chance) is the final two".
Hmmmmmmmm.
i do not understand why people tune in to watch that damn s---, it's embarassing for the viewer and for the men as well...this type of coonery is not funny...and new york is ugly as f*ck! and her momma! with that damn 20 head...!
wat da fuck u talkin bout
t-weed shot the old guy in american gangstas
i'm glad its against my religion to watch this bullshit, it sounds like a bunch of metrosexual clowns looking to be the next "Rainbow Coalition" manifested in the ranks of reality stardom.
Knowing me i'd probably be the one participant to smash dat shit out and willing get booted from da show just to say i did da shit.
www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz
t-weed shot the old guy in american gangstas
Posted by: tsmith7791 at January 30, 2007 11:28 AM
1. original gangstas.
2. 2 points!
New York acts like a horney whore and she looks like a horse. Hell she already stole their hair...
Thanks Ron. I reposted here just to be sure you got it. I still hate your job and you should too. No disrespect intended. -Drew
--------------------------
It doesn't sound all that godly to me and I fear for the future of your personal ministry.
Shalom,
Ronaldinho
Posted by: Ron Mexico at January 26, 2007 5:11 PM
--------------------------
I just came back to this blog for the first time today and am thankful that I did. You right on Ron. That wasn't cool of me, and I apologize. I ain't got no problem ownin' up to it.
No excuses but I was battlin some personal demons durin that time and I was angry and it manifested in my response to your whole situation with this "Talking Videos".
It was in part due to the fact that even though SOHH.COM was having it's problems with the technical issues....the ones on your page was simply never put up and it was a completely different issue than the issues on the other blogs. And I've already told you about how I feel about your doggin people in the videos and the whole attitude of what you do. I didn't handle it right...I apologize. So the fact it appeared to be only your blog, our past conversations, and knowing how bullies do (dish out but don't take)...I lashed out and it was not in love. And that's not how I'm supposed to do, so thanks for the rebuke. I received it.
@EnglandRepresent
Me a hypocrite...far from it. Me a real human being...very true. Just cuz I'm a Christian don't mean I don't still mess up homeboy. But this talk I talk, I walk it too. You can find me doing and living what I speak. But you know what, I'm still gonna mess up, but the difference is...I accept that, and acknowledge it, apologize and repent from it and learn from it.
So to think that just because I'm a Christian means that I'm walking on water, naw man. I come from hard times, been through thangs and came up in things real people go through. So I bring that into this walk, and while I should be of the right mind not to fall back into them old ways, or to speak on them old thoughts...they still try and poke their heads out.
But see it's that very nature that shows other people tryin to be on this walk that they can't be perfect either. It is the very verse that the whole S.E.A.L.S. Ministryz is based on. It goes like this:
"1 Timothy 1: 15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. 17Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen."
Patience is understanding that a work in progress takes time. It means something is not automatic. It means believing that even as I slip, my Lord is there to place my steps back where they belong and helping push me along on that right path. I'd have it no other way. And thank God for his grace, cuz I'd been in a mess without it.
Shalom!
PZ
um what the hell just happened
aight, man.
Ron...get at your people about this. Or let me know who I need to lay it out there for.
No disrespect, but we could really do without a whole "SOHH Latino".
Whoever is in charge has GOT TO see that by now.
And at the same time, they need to understand that we need a "SOHH Spiritual" blog to highlight some of the hot gospel and christian hip hop music. To not do so is irresponsible.
I'm tellin ya, SOHH is going to be playing catch up later if they don't come on board now.
And even if they don't do an "SOHH Spiritual" to where there can be different posts on concience music, christian music, etc...they should do a "SOHH Other Stuff" type of blog where there is a time and place for any and everything else not segregated by regions.
CHRIST BLESS!
PZ
okay ummmmm what? that sounded real personal.
okay, Ron my man, that show last night was hilarious. real look like Llyod. dude was eating grapes and shit and trying to i spy. that was too funny.heat was way too lame. oh onix how i will miss thee. too fine and always keepin it real.Sis peppermint patty was fakin and mr bosten had the thongs on wrong.onix always keepin it correct. that snitch bitch nigga tango. he look like a damn oompa loompa. small head and frumpy ass.aint that nigga suppossed to be a rapper or somethin? son of a...
chance wasn't touched or chilled. that nigga was scared when he heard all that screamin. mary didn't even do all that when she had jesus.i miss onix already.
FUCK THESE BITCHES,N.Y.'S MOMMA NEEDS TOO BE BEAT UP AGIAN,IF I WAS BACK IN THA DAY,I WOULDA PIMPED HER ASS,NO WAIT,SHE WOULD RUN MY OTHER HOES OFF,THEN I WOULD HAVETA KILL THAT BITCH! SHE LOOK HER PUSSY STANK!!!!!WHO HIT THAT?!!!IM KILLIN THAT NIGGA TOO!!AND THAT BOYFRIEND OF HERS FROM FLAVOR OF LOVE...STR8 BITCH,IM BEATIN HIS ASS WHEN I CATCH HIM....LOL
@Ron Mexico
ever seen "deep cover" with laurence fishburne? anyway... chances brother aka your rick james looks like dude fishburnes caps in the bathroom after he starts pissing on him... he looks exactly like him.
OKAY,New Yorks mom may not be the most attractive woman on televison, but she is still a mother first, and no one can say rather or not if she was being fake only GOD knows that womans heart, so let that be, no one can say if she was being fake or not, and I still wouldn't let any of those lil dick guys touch me, rank ass dirty ass draws niggas, New York can do so much better, she is still my Girl!!!!!!
yall niggaz is crazy!
First of all fuck all you haters.If you hate my girl's show so much,why the fuck do you waste your time speaking on her on this blog? YOU KNOW YOU LOVIN'
YOU SOME NEW YORK. Each week you stupid
hatin' ass mu'fuckas can't wait to see what's up next.Some of you Bitches probably tore up from the floor up.Get
off her.
This show is so gay. All them niggas is sweet. New York moms looks like Ben Wallace in a wig.
Posted by: fupayme at January 30, 2007 9:31 AM
=======================================
I TOTALLY AGREE!!!
didnt read all the entries, but if you have never been to church in your entire life you could tell Mew Yorks mother is fake as a $3dollar bill, matter fact fake as DJ quik when he first cane out as a gangsta rapper!!! that lady is crazy and then Chance talkin about he came inside just becuase he flet her message!!! this and Flav sets us back at lest 300 years!
leave my nigga David Blake out of this
Now, I can understand that New York was upset that someone was disrespecting her mama, but I thought she was a hypocrite. Onix simply told the truth, however Chance has disrepected Sister Patterson several times directly to her face. Yet, NY's excuses his behavior for being a thug when in fact he's just an idiot. Boy acted like he ain't have no home training going to church like that.
you aint never lied about that. damn shame my boy gone off some snitching nigga. can't stand tango ole proactive candidate ass. bitch nigga and his dick flunky niko, rico, whatever. now make no mistake, I love me some NY but these dudes, man and her house and her clothes. they tend to give me a little motion sickness.love you girl.didn't she get some boobs or somethin?
lol i dont know what to say about this show hahaha all i know she better do this show again cuz all of them are some fake asses in that house...they all look like they just want to hit it once and the hell with her raggedy pussy...lol i think after fuckin flav 1 too many times and got dumped these guys really dont want newyork..is it me or real look likes pdiddy...whiteboy sorry,boston is a dork,tango got a girl,real and chance is in it for the fame to get there career started,12pack is not into newyork his fake ass,and them other sorry fuckers newyork dont want....lol she needs to do this show again
If just one person learns something positive from my egregious cacophony of inane drivel, then I have done my job.
I just found Ron Mexico 2 weeks ago and get this, I'm Queen of the Blogs. High and tight, y'all!
Priceless.
Keeps me going in the hard times,
seriously.
Don't look any furthur.
It's one thing for her to vote onix off for stating the obvious- but I can't believe they let Mr. Boston's racist ass stay on the show- all that ish he was talking about a derek jeter looking baby and then the stuff he was saying about NY's Mom and the stuff he said in the car... u can tell his parents wouldn't want him with no black girl- I was real surprised they kept him on after some of the comments he made....
I wish they could have had some REAL 100% STRAIGHT males on that show- with all the fine men out there and this was the best they could do.....!WTF?!
Mr boston is white. nuf said!
New york is wack as f&ck....damn!!!!!
12 pack is as gay as michael jackson is a bikini. fuuuuuc!
12 pack is as gay as michael jackson is a bikini. fuuuuuc!
12 pack is as gay as michael jackson is a bikini. fuuuuuc!
12 pack is as gay as michael jackson is a bikini. fuuuuuc!
Yo bring back the nigga that threw himself down the steps and then busted out crying. That shit is worth watching if he not coming back aint no show, get wit it vh1.
chance wasn't touched or chilled. that nigga was scared when he heard all that screamin. mary didn't even do all that when she had jesus.i miss onix already.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Even through Chance is gay as hell, he is funny as all hell, when he came in the church to see, what Mr. Patterson was doing, i was dying he was looking around like what the hell!
Mr. Boston stated he was scared, of course he is jewish, he never been around no negro spritual before.
Onix kept it real, Im sorry, she didnt even get to know him. But like he stated; it's her lost!!
New York is ugly we all know that, but who and the world picked these gay dudes for her.
I really hate Tango now, since he got raid of Onix, and NY is stupied for taking his advice,I could see the final two already!!
Tango and White Boy,
12 pack is parting non-stop on this show, this is a party to him for real.
But sh^t if i had to be in NY face all day i would be drunk as too!!
He stay blasted and you know what, I aint mad at him, but when dude was doing the robot in those leopard print speedo i was dying!!
Random thoughts-if NY could kiss T-weed, she could kiss anyone. (just nasty)
i'd still get on da show just to say i hit dat shit and then get the boot the same episode.
www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz
Let me get down to brass tacks and just say that Sista Patterson is a fuckin' cunt!! There I said it! There it is, I call it like I see it and thats how I sees it. She's a cunt plain and simple. She looks like Robert Guillame in a wig. H.C.I.C. Head Cunt in Charge! What bitch, the people at Vh1 shoulda just left her manly looking self on the cutting room floor. Damn I hate fuckin' television.
the niggas she got left in that gay ass lookin house is broke...they dont have what it takes to bring home the bacon to newyork...they are all a bunch of broke asses....
Man fuck NEW YORK. This bitch ain't even close to cute. This brawd borders on GOT DAMN and HOLYSHIT. And her moms even worst, bring up the cellar of the beauty spectrum with JESUS CHRIST and PUT A BAG ON HER.
Who really watches this bullshit?
NEW YORK, SHE COOL BUT ITS JUST HER UGLY ASS MAMA NOW THAT'S THE BITCH I DONT LIKE BUT TANGO STILL MY BOY
Blue Oyster..........
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ron, you know you aint right LMAO! Something is up with the Tango dude though. There is something eerily effeminate bout that dude. Aint enough muscles in the world to hide that hip switch, LOL.
Chance and Real are really trifling to go on a show knowing they both would slob down NY at some point. NY is also hypocritical because she disrespects one guy's views on his mother and granny being a high priority, but won't allow someone to "disrespect" her mother. If Onix thought that her mother was over the top, that's his opinion and not really any disrespect if it is not true after all.
Ever noticed how NY pretty much always has to have a drink? If I was her, I'd have to be drunk to look at myself in the mirror and not cry too.
Is it me or did T-Weed look like Uncle Rukus off the Boondocks!?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^thats funny lmao
You just said everything I was thinking. Tango is a bitch ass rat motherless piece of junk. Heat is a fiend... and yes I didn't notice that either until the butter lips episode. Wet... he'd be on the floor? I thought Ex but who the fuck knows... Awsome critic`
i like the show but mr boston needs to get off 4real cuz i dont like him 4 nun.new york mom looks like a blac verison of mr boston but wit a bad wave!!!!to b honest i really do like the show.
That uncle ruckus comparison above is priceless. i was on the floor. LMAO. He trult did with that pony tail!
Sup ppls
Can someone please tell me where is New York's mother hairline? New York is ghetto
nothing at all cute about her Mr Boston looks so out of place on the show
Chance is gay notice how he has not been trying to get close to NY i think he just want to be discovered for a future acting career i like him he funny
Oh and poor Pootie..wonder where he is?
What in the hell is up with Mr. Boston picking his damn nose at eliminations?
Chance is gay and so is Real, 12 pack too. has everyone seen the picture thats out about chance and real at gay pride, i think its on mediatakeout.com. It will be interesting to see who she ends up with.
Man that show is only lasting cuz New York is sucking someone off behind the scene. Her mother is supposed to be all holly and what not, she acts like the devil. She is a man with a wig and where is her husband......he found her dick and ran. I saw him in Mexico, Ha
new york show is good you'll hating on my girl further more 12 pack gave as you can see and tango she need to get let him go cause she don't want no snitch and for chance he look good as h*ll and real oh my god that is real cause he is THA BOMB thats who she need he seem good
Real is so sexy
Man oh man do you believe that Tango soft behind proposed to New York. What the hell was he thinking. He was in the house for 2 months at the most and you wanna marry a chick who slept with you and Chance. N.Y dont as said "Did you just engage to me?" How dumb can you be that shit dont even make sense. She a hoe, she aint worthy of being a wife, well maybe if you want to treat her like the skank she is and find someone who is worthy after the headache is over.
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Why in the hell would she pick Taylor Made over Budda? Talor was a little bitch and used her also Budda really , loved her also Budda is a fine, fine, ass man! Tiffany and Budda lokked good together.
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