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I Love New York: Parade of Bitch Niggas
Posted on January 9, 2007 10:20 AM
This marks the end of Black American civilization as we know it. Meet me in Canada, niggas.
After much anticipation, it’s finally here. The debut episode of “I Love New York” aired last night, and much like its "Flavor of Love" predecessors, it has both entertained and embarrassed me at the same time. By the time this season is over, not only will Tiffany have Noah’s Ark in her panties, but the Emancipation Proclamation will be shredded added to specially-marked packages of Newport cigarettes.
Where is Lou Rawls? I’m expecting him to come out and help host this “Parade of Bitch Niggas.”
Is it just me, or does New York look like a drag queen in all these banner ads? If I was say, a foreinger, and didn’t know what this show was about beforehand, I’d think this was a cruel, cruel reality gameshow. “Surpriiiiiise! I have a dick!”
Before we get into what went down last night on VH1, I have to address something head on. New York is really fuckin up like Flavor did. Disney Bitch is goin around telling these simple niggas that this is the “New York Mansion;” she got “the right house.” Isn’t this the exact same goddamned house they shot both seasons of "FOL" in, just with more leopard print?
As they unveiled the 20 hoe-asses who call themselves men alone in the dark, I couldn’t help but look for Kevin Federline. I thought his ass had to be in that batch of gigolo fodder.
So, we’ve traded in Big Rick, the Michael Clarke Duncan award-winner 2 years in a row, for this Chamo character? The fuck is this lavender dick cushion gonna do when 2 of these andro-juiced gold-diggin hoes attack each other? Putting his ass in the air ain’t gonna resolve the conflict. I’m going to make a bold prediction that Chamomillionaire isn’t even gay. He is entirely too flamboyant to function. He’s an actor like the rest, trying to break his way into the game. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s never tasted penis before in his life.
What a painful naming ceremony, huh? Why these niggas expected anything less than Michelle ManBearPig herself to come out is entirely beyond me. It’s gonna be a while before I get these dwarves names right. Okay, we got Homo Thug (Chance), Tango with no Cash, 12Pac, Pootie, Pitbull, Mr. Boston, Caron Butler, T-Money, T-Weed, T-Bone (Young Ruckus)… Michelle wanted T-Weed to T-Bag her old ass. That nigga ejaculates pre-mixed Dark and Lovely perm… on men. You don’t want none of that.
For once, I agree with Robert Guillaume with the wig on. There is no way I would endorse keeping Romance in the house yammering on about his dead dog. Michelle’s Blair Queer Hunt should have started with this cat. She asked everyone if they enjoyed giving the salami rinse except the one fucker who could probably belch up a clum baby quicker than Woldoor Sockbat. As much as I agree with her notion, she’s still a prejudiced, house Negro bitch. (We’ll get into that a little more later.)
I’m gonna put 12 Pack on the undercover list as well. Greg LouGayness over here was the first one to strip and dive. That’s not why everyone thinks you’re gay. It’s the frosty tips and well… the fact that you look like you do stunts for Nick Lachey in gay movies.
Right off the bat, Chance vs. Mr. Boston had me dying. I can’t completely put my finger on whether this Greenwich Village gangster is Cam’ron on Wednesdays, Fabo Williams from D4L, cracked out R. Kelly or what. But I can assure you this is the black male counterpart for our dear, misguided, unfunny friend Becky Buckwild. He is gonna have a moment where he loses his thug accent and sounds more like his brother, Chauncey Billups.
What is Ritalin? See, all jokes aside. There’s a reason why Chance doesn’t know what this shit is. Spoiled rich white kids pop them shits like Gobstoppers when their parents don’t really feel like raising the motherfuckers. On the other side of the subway tracks, little niggas in the hood with genuine ADD and other unmet psychiatric needs are just “bad”
and "stupid."
That’s right, Chance. Fuck Mr. Boston and his “riddlin.”
While I wasn’t exactly enthralled with the nigga myself, New York’s mom just hated him because he dressed “ghetto.” She is willing to bend over backwards for simp-ass fucktards like Jersey, but Chance can’t get a fair shake? You are a fucking coon, Michelle. I said it. Suck my books. Let me upgrade you and your daughter’s weaves simultaneously.
With that said, New York’s mom freaking out is a welcome addition to the elimination ceremony.
Pootie wouldn’t be so sweaty/greasy if he didn’t use so much Luster’s Pink.
The list of bitch niggas that made it over Wood is astounding. She know she wanted that Elimidate “talk show” pipeage. She should have just kept him around for a minute. I don’t think she’ll have the problems Flavor did in the fucking department. First off, she was one of a few (at best) who touched Flavor’s burnt licorice. Secondly, niggas don’t require that much convincing when it’s time to lay the pipe. Especially, when they’ll be kept high and lickered up.
I reiterate, what the fuck is Chamo gonna do when there’s a roid-rage rape scene to break up? Your guess is as good as mine.
talkinvideos@sohh.com
My head hurts. I need a glass of pigeon milk.
Comments
"That nigga ejaculates pre-mixed Dark and Lovely perm… on men. You don’t want none of that."
"the one fucker who could probably belch up a clum baby quicker than Woldoor Sockbat."
------------------------------------
OMFG. Ron Mexico you have really outdone yourself with this one. I didn't even watch this trainwreck but this shit is hilarious. I wonder how many people actually get the Woldoor reference though.
LMAO... that about sums it up... but you didn't talk about the cross eyed nigga. they made all of that money of of FOL 1&2 and couldnt get her a new house to do the show in... and if her mother wasnt there cockblocking there probably wouldnt be a show it might just be one big gangbang... for some reason i cant stop watching this coon sh1t... probably cause BET and MTV dont show any good sh1t any more...
P.S. Them Gators kicked ass last night
The show was definitely crazy. I agree with everything you said. ManBearpig is just mad that Chance "wasstylingonher." But that dude really ain't hard, he was a bout to break down, like New York used to do on FOL. Matter of fact that why New York is feelin him, he is the male version of him.
All that shit talking but, you gonna watch every episode and tape them and then buy it on dvd. and then get an "I Love New York" T Shirt.
I'm sorry but I tivo'd that train wreck!! Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I just need to sit back, relax, and watch the coonery.
This show was just a big copy of Flava of Love. I swear it was the same music & shit. All the guys were lil bitches I mean was he really crying over his dog? Yea I don't think i'll be watching anymore..I thought this show would be better but all the guys suck..what a perfect match for New York
And you wonder why chicks get mad when we call them bitches, sluts, and hoes.....
2007 COON CHAMP OF THE WOOOOOORLD, New York!!!
I was surpised all the dudes was so damn effeminate. And New York killed me when she said, "Chance is a REAL thug. You know, he wears baggy clothes. He likes to drink..."
Yup. Thuggin 101.
Big Rick shoulda been there to laugh it up wit her and restrain moms. Why her moms got a fivehead yo??? Dayyum, she look like she ca be in Rihanna's gene pool wit that forehead...
1
Damn, you was deep into that shit were'nt you?
Ha! That's comedy!!!
I tell you what man....VH1 is becoming BET White(oops!) I mean Lite. Shit, same thing. These cats are paying for minstrel show coonery and mockery at an alarming rate. Flavor, New York, White Rapper show and it's a hot damn shame that I have and will watch all of them. Regardless of how much a hot damn mess they all are.
WHAT WAS UP WITH MS. MICHELLE'S HAIR LINE?? THAT SHIT STARTED 5 INCHES BEHIND HER FOREHEAD!!!!!!!! YUK
One word: T-Bone
very perceptive
u gay?
Man this is too fuckin funny my nigglet!
ManBearPig?!! South Park?!
Woldoor Sockbat?! Greg LouGayness?!
You should write obituaries cuz this shit is killing me.
You get "TOP DAWG" prize on SOHH. Hands Down.
Oh I forgot about the Robert Guillaume shit. If blogs don't work for you, you can write comedy for real!
In fact, come be Mayor down here in the N.O.... we need shit to laugh about besides drunk white people (ok now I'm sad again)
WOW! I wasnt gonna watch the show but at the same time it was unfair if i didnt. I hate to say it but i love mr. boston and chance. them to jokers make the show already. i just hope ms. patton isnt on the show all the time cause its hard to look a her face longer then ten seconds. oh and mr. ruckas was so sad at the end. did yall hear him when he said she choose with her eyes and not with her heart... awww. anyway the show is ight. i will stay tuned.
TOO FUNNY!!! Robert Guillaume with a wig on..... you crazy for that one.
Ha Ha! Sike, not funny, try again Ronald! Why the fuck did you even watch that trash.
second biiiitches....sexxy back up in this motherfukkin house haha!
i think her show got a lot of funny niggas on there...her mom had me crackin up and so did the guys on the show ....its definently another flavor flav show....but i felt whoever design ed the inside of her house had no skills at all ...it was too gayish for the men...she needs to redesign that house over again...i thought i was color blind watching her show....and ron wassup with the security code and need approval to post comments on here...things definenently changed on here..
Man this shit is degrading to Black folks every where. Somebody need to shoot up the vh1 studios fa real.
Man those nigg** were busted, you mean to tell me thats all they had to offer that girl, it was about 2 good looking men on the show, the rest of those guys were hoodrats, yall stay blessed and continue to support my girl NewYork, and keep food stamps alive.....
"She asked everyone if they enjoyed giving the salami rinse except the one fucker who could probably belch up a clum baby quicker than Woldoor Sockbat."
--------------------------------
Now thats some funny shit!
Nigga that shit is hilarious!!!! And your right, damn near half of the niggas look gay as hell. This shit is going to be great!!!LMAO......
woooooow...i watched that shit and while i was laughin i knew Dr. King was cryin...damn shame.
http://www.myspace.com/pitpoeticallyinclinedthinkas
yo end this blog....the topics are madd wack
and cats be wondering why bros date outside the race.
is it me or do she look like rah digga on her way to rehab she is hella hurt but flav is too so whateva i aint watchin it.
wow
Okay, I am convinced that Chance is gay. You can tell by his body language that the "thug" attitude is a total front. I bet most of these men are just trying to hone some acting skills. I truly feel bad for Rico being misunderstood. But I guess an average black girl with minimal cultural exposure would have been upset at being referred to as negra or negrita. I mean, I also guess I wouldn't want to be called that by somone whom I've known for 2 mintutes...so I can see both of thier points.
I watched that mess too and it was hilarious. It was excactly like FOL without the crack head.
I knew i couldnt be the only one who thought that ROMANCE was gay. I can tell not only by the way he talks but the fact that he named his wimpy ass dog princess and by the way he was dressed. I bet you that ROMANCE and 12 pac will hook up at the Reunion Special.
And to be honest i felt sorry for the latino guy cuz it didnt seem like he was tryna be offensive, i like him, i hope he gets off the show as soon as he can and go back to his girlfriend. Cuz ya'll no that most of those guys prolli had a girl on standby if they dont go home with New York.
PEACE
New York's mom is a cock eater! I see where her crazy azz ugly dAUGHTER GETS IT from!
I'm really tired of people who watch this shit and then go on to complain about how ridiculous the concept is. You think New York, Flava Flav, or both of the show's producers give a damn about how degrading it is to black people? Of course not, because they are gettin paid. And when you watch the shit, then give me a full recap of the episode, you need to stop fuking whining, cuz no one was holding a gun to your head telling you to watch. I agree completely it's a degrading show, that's why I don't watch. All you people who watched every fukin episode of Flavor of Love then talk shit about how disgusting it is, just STFU.
Peace...
For another review, check out
http://jakestake.typepad.com/jake/2007/01/we_all_knew_it_.html
what a mess. just like FOL.. its a disgrace to black people everywhere.
WWW.MYHOODJAPAN.COM
On the final episode, New York's mom is going to reveal to everyone she is really a dude. Did anyone notice how far back his wig starts?
Bro, i watched this shit for all of about 10 mins and turned the channel. I only know of three dudes. The white "steroid" dude, the dude named Wood and the crazy "negro" wit the gap and from what you say Wood is gone. You know the dude wit the gap is only there to make a damn fool out of himself and for ratings, straight off T-O-P. I "might" tune in from time to time to see how long she keeps this coon ass dude. Naw, strike that, Ill ask somebody else who watches it, MAYBE, if i even care within the next couple of weeks. He aint even a coon. From the commercials ive seen, he got some real female tendancies tho, wit the yelling and always wanting to be on camera, so ill peg his ass wit ADD for now, like you said. Its gonna be funny how that shit plays out. Guarantee he makes it to the end of the season. If not, no less than 3 episodes from it.
On another note i watched about 10 mins of that "White Rapper" show and got damn, that shit is garbage too. Caught the episode where the white chick is spewing out the word "nigga" like its all good. I got NO white friends and dont say it myself, so thats a definate no-no wit me. I dont even say the word and if i do its because its been burned in my brain and i have a small lapse in judgement or im caught up in the moment and it comes out as a supposedly "natural" thing. Square business tho, i think some people need to get they mind right and anybody who kicks it wit her and lets her call them her "nigga" needs to be checked. I say call the DROP squad on they asses, all of em.
Oh yea. Dont go to Canada homie. They're tryin to figure out how to make it one wit the US by 2014 or some shit. You can find me in Jamaica or somewhere around there, LMAOOO!
HER MOTHER IS THE UGLIEST WOMAN ALIVE OR DEAD!
HER MOMS NEED A HEAD REPLACEMENT!
LMAO @ Greg LouGayness.
As i said before there was so much fruit up there i could have made a smoothie. These guys are NOT believeable at all the only one i do like is Chanceron. At least he is somewhat believeable.
yeah thats shit was crazy but 4real chance is fake as fuk he was doin to much hollin an shyt to not be on dat show 4 tv an wen they was sayin new york almost got dem a hard on yeah all dem bitches is homo 4real
i smoke stunk wit my peeps allday
spread love its the brooklyn ways
i love brooklyn like biggie used to love
yo tell me why u gotta stand up 2 c where ms michelle hair line start??? Oh yeah do not pick da nigga wit da perm cuz dat shit aint fly!!!!!
NEW YORK IS SUCH A UGLY BITCH SHE KNOW SHE NEVER DID LOVE FLAV THAT IS WHY HE MADE HER COME ON THE SHOW A SEC TIME HER AND HER MAN LOOKING MAMA LOOK LIKE A DAMN MAN FUCK YOU BITCH EAT MY PUSSY AND SUCK FLAV DICK WHAT U ALWAYS DO
It is people like you all who keep this country running on ignorant shit like those words that only have negative meanings. This world has enough hate why don't you all get a life. We have kids dying and all you can do is talk about a T.V. show that you have a choice to watch. Do some research on your president and let us try to tackle that problem. For the guy going to Canada. RUN YOU COWARD. We real people will stay and try to fix this world. One ignorant person at a time
You know what I find interesting about this blog? Most of you are all referring to this show as a explicit doctrination of coonery, yet in every single post here, I see words like "my niggaz, and these niggaz etc. My people, my people, my people. There is no hope for us in this country. We are like lobsters in a tank. Were you all making the same crude comments about flavorflav when he had the show with the white chick? Or better yet, how about the show on BET that documented the lives of thugs, gun slangers and dope dealers? These entertainers are trying to make their paper and come up. Stop hattin on them. The show is entertaining point blank. New York is who she is. If you hate her so much why are you even wasting your precious time (because you are so important and people really care what you think) discussing her? Our view of this country and this world is so screwed up. We can't tell our assholes from our elbows. We can find time to degrade those of us like New York who's trying to come up, yet say absolutely nothing about the men who are dying in our streets and our neighborhoods killed by OUR people every single day all day long. ALL OF YOU. WAKE THE FUCK UP........ I feel like screaming. I used to be propud of being a black woman in this country. But lately, I am ashamed and appalled. I will never let the next man see it, but deep inside, I am appauled. New York is beautiful to somebody. Just because she isn't to you does not give you the right to destroy her by accusing her of being a man and everything else you all have accused her of being. I wonder how you all would fair on the national market? Think everyone would be falling down from your strikingly beautiful features? I'm guessing a big fat NOT. People, black people, WAKE UP!
I luv my baby wanda n romance fucks his dogs thats y he miss her so much
I luv my baby wanda n romance fucks his dogs thats y he miss her so much
I don't understand why people talk about Tiffany A.K.A. New York and here performance with flavor in da flavor of love. I think that the girls that flavor didn't pick is only mad at new york because they didn't do what she did flavor said he wanted a women that is real with herself as well as with him and all she did was be herself but you keep lookin new york he is out there somewhere if I can find true love with my man eddie aka iceberg from da bronx then you can find him and listen to your heart.
i think the new york show is really outrageous and i think chance and real should be in the top 2 .but i cant believe that whitboy went on a date wit u
bye new york
i think the new york show is really outrageous and i think chance and real should be in the top 2 .but i cant believe that whitboy went on a date wit u
bye new york
I realize that although I won't admit it to the world...I am addicted to the show as well. And I am aware that a powerful blow to the image of African Americans. I also realize that I watch the show, the reruns and the go on sites like this to discuss the show. That tells me that I along with Black America am in need....We need more postive images of Black people on TV. The WB Monday night with all the black shows is gone and we have no where to go... We cannot depend on BET.... Since they have "sold out" we have no real Black TV and we need a place to go, good or bad, where we can see ourselves....Damn... Step it up Robert Townsend,Robert Hooks, Anybody out there? We are in need of some positive Black TV!!!!
RASPBERRY, YOU FEEL BETTER NOW?
THINK, YOU FEEL BETTER TOO? NOW...STFU. THIS SHIT AINT REAL. "NIGGAZ" JUST EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. ITS FUNNY. GO SEND OUT A CHAIN LETTER OR SOMETHING. ITS ALL GOOD.
THE SHOW IS FUNNY AS ALL HELL. I WOULD HAVE KEPT WOOD JUST A LITTLE BIT LONGER LIKE ..TIL THE END. JUST TO LOOK AT IS ALL.
yall see buckey in stomp the yard?
Hay New York u lookin 4 real love i got some guys 4 u look up these guys. Merv,xavier,ahmad,larry,shack all from the bronx. Here are your top 5 guys.
Oh my god this is some funny shit.
You keeping it real. I was feeling the same way.
For real here's Real's Myspace page
www.myspace.com/kemet_king
It also got links to his fag o toid bro. Chance and the other hoe ass niggas.
Real is too in love with fucking Arabian Horses to give a rats ass about Cruella Deville's love...
Shit.. keep this blog coming
It's bananas
Holla atcha girl
one
This woman should be whipped on a nationwide broadcast. The worst show I have ever seen...all it did was assure any American that they can have a TV show if they suck enough cock.. Good job you ugly fuckin woombat New York.
yall whitey's go suck each other
New York is the new way of reality television. It is explosive. Accept her for what she is, a typical black girl that has been given a chance at television. It seems so easy to get on tv today, all haters, grab a part. Sign up. Since you are on the internet, you are aware of your chances.
I would have never been able to see justice finally be served up as well as you did on the show. T Weed..LOL...I met that shmuck in NY and he tried to use me, had me chasing these dreams, saying he was involved with movies...He was a liar, clearly.Just trying to get in my jeans. I swore he was gay, and I knew he was dirt poor when I loaned him $300.00, and he NEVER paid me back, he couldnt afford it. Then I found out that he is married and lives in Queens. I feel bad for his wife. Then I saw him on your show, and realized that he really is that deperate. Doesnt he know that if he had 100 million, he wouldnt ned to be on your show to get your attenetion...lol...thanks for calling him out. It was tv history....
I hope someone really is not looking for love from that group of sad pups.
DAMMM ALL I GOTS TO SAY IS THAT I FUCKEN LOVE WHITE BOY..I THINK NEW YORK NEEDS TO STAY WITH HIS FINE ASS..OR JUST PASS HIM ON TO ME..LOVE U WHITE BOY..MUAHHHH...:D
well way back i hope you picked mr boston so you can be the man that you are and yo mama can be happy you will have kids that may have a chance at having some hair.
i love u new york u are sosos funny lol
February 12, Why on earth did new york get rid of ricco? I bet when new york ask shamo to get the champagne that night he said bitch get it yourself. He like ricco.New York doesn't have a clue what she really want in a man. She want a thug one minute than an educate man with loot the next. Thug or brook brother nobody want to put up with sister patternson bullshit. She act like she saved but I heard that her and New York's father aren't even married. I think Whiteboy is cool, Real is down,Chance is gay, 12 pack is bi,Mr Boston is secretly racist. Tango is in love with new but she better pick him at the end because, Tango is going to show is royal ass!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have something to say and its not about New york.for all you hatein ass bitchs mad that its not your face that we see . keep doing New York Much Much Love.
WELL NEW YORK WHY ARE YOU SO TACKY YOU MY BITCH BUT HAVE A LITTLE CLASS ABOUT YOURSELF.YOU REALLY SHOULDA LEFT YOUR MOM OUTTA THIS ONE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THAT LADY.IF YOU REALLY ARE LOOKING FOR LOVE LEAVE YOUR MOMMA AT HOME THEN GET YOUR GUY THEN SHOW THEM WHAT THERE STUCK WITH.......
Wow flava of luv waz my Shit now dat new york got her own sho i get bored at nite cuz dat shit iz 2 fuckin wack and erbody should kno dat. all da guyz up dere iz gay except chance and hiz brotha cuz they mad sexy but chance needa do sumthin wit dem teeth man.AND WHO DA FUCK DOESNT NOTICE DAT MR.BOSTON WAS PICKIN HIZ NOSE SHIT MAN DAT SUM FUCKED UP MESS AND SHE DIDNT KNO IT.well i dont promote her sho datz y i missed most of her episodez cuz there crazy wack man and datz sum real shit man deep 4real i dont luv dat shit at all.Flav if deelishiz leave then do another show plz and put new york b-hind schedule
Wow flava of luv waz my Shit now dat new york got her own sho i get bored at nite cuz dat shit iz 2 fuckin wack and erbody should kno dat. all da guyz up dere iz gay except chance and hiz brotha cuz they mad sexy but chance needa do sumthin wit dem teeth man.AND WHO DA FUCK DOESNT NOTICE DAT MR.BOSTON WAS PICKIN HIZ NOSE SHIT MAN DAT SUM FUCKED UP MESS AND SHE DIDNT KNO IT.well i dont promote her sho datz y i missed most of her episodez cuz there crazy wack man and datz sum real shit man deep 4real i dont luv dat shit at all.Flav if deelishiz leave then do another show plz and put new york b-hind schedule
I love your show alot.
New York and her mom get it on..its obvious cause that bitch nigga ain't shit
the show is over...12 pack was the man and only man on that show...lets get a 12 pack show on now.
new york is a stone ass bitch and i would slap the bitch in two
bring you and your hole momma on miss new york bitch.
the show is over...12 pack was the man and only man on that show...lets get a 12 pack show on now.
new york is a stone ass bitch and i would slap the bitch in two
bring you and your hole momma on miss new york bitch.
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there are 4 men left for you newyork i think the pick is very hard chance is the all around comedian, real is quite, whiteboy is shy, and tango is just tango i think chance is your guy
i like ya show but u are wack in the show and chance is so sexy im gonna go 2 cali 2 go see him
What do new york ugly ass really look like without all that horse hair. I see her without the mud mask it didnt' help either.
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you should to pick chance and not tango he is fat. he could not be with you newyork.
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