November 2006 Archives

As we eagerly await "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Niggas 2", (with production to be handled by Dr. Dre and RZA on a collaborative effort *skeets*), we reminisce on Wu-Tang past.

GZA’s classic “Liquid Swords” LP had more than a handful of great songs, but the coldest video by far was the one for “Shadowboxin’/4th Chamber.” [watch above] Method Man, Ghostface, Killah Priest and The RZA all chime in with some classic shit in a dope battlefield setting.

They need to stop frontin like it's cool for grown ass men to be playin dress-up like this in Prospect Park though.

I’m gonna start off with something nice to say. Snoop Dogg officially has his brain back!

Too bad the nigga is magnetized to the courtroom. Snoop and Tracy Morgan bout to be runnin cigarettes together in the box. Completing the jailbird trifecta, Akon’s classy new joint “I Wanna Fuck You” [watch above] is once again proving irresistible to skrippers, skrippers-in-training, and fast-ass 10-year-old girls in your local housing development that wanna learn how to get that respect them girls in the videos be gettin.

I guess Puffy ain’t wanna entrust this one to Danity Kane.

As per request, today’s selection is Papa Diddy Pop’s “Tell Me” [watch above] featuring Ambiguously Latina Christina [Aguilera]. Damn. Long gone are the days when watching Shiny Suit Man at hard at work was actually fun.

If you don't love this nigga, I don't know if we can even kick it.

Please! You watch!

Jagsemash! In US and A, chocolate face man make a rappings music. Song like "Kick, Push the Jew" by Lupe Fiasco deal with more political matter. I like a Little Jon! He scream like my brother Billo. It funny. I liiiike! After we get BET in Kazakhstan I have to throw him. He get very much excite when Remy Ma come on screen. She remind Billo of dog he once make a sexy time with. It get too close to his cage! High five!

Regardless of what we feel about Jiggaman's new album (you know... the comeback), the fact remains that Joe Camel is back. SOHH took the time to holler at some of The Hova's contemporaries to get their honest opinions on The Return of our Lord. [watch it now]

...and today YOU eat the turkey!

I am in no way proclaiming that everything Ras Kass hits you with in this manifesto is correct or accurately portrayed (especially the "Kill All White Devils" tag at the end). Shit, the words of Ras Kass do not necessarily reflect the views of SOHH.com or the nigga that writes "Talkin' Videos." In light of our Kramer discussion, however, I do find this homemade video clip highly appropriate.

In case you've been hung upside down with a fork in your ass since last Friday, here goes.

Michael Richards (AKA Kramer of "Seinfeld" fame), for lack of better terminology, lost his shit Friday evening during his set at The Laugh Factory. Apparently, some chocolate monkeys got out of pocket while a white man was talking and had to be put in their place.

Shit, if you can't be comfortable around Kramer, what white people can you trust, Jerry?

Y'all know how much I hate Fox News. I'm just glad they are dumb enough to print and pass out shit like this.

Oh, you know what time it is. Pretty Ricky Ricky Rickaayyyy!

I guess Super Shredder and the Foot Clan still haven’t figured out a way to defeat the Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles. Mango, Blue Lace, Delicious and Pleasure (still don’t need to change that one for effect) are finally back for more. Their new single “On The Hotline” [watch above] picks up right where Bluestars left off with trashy kiddie sex sangy lyrics, reprehensible dance steps and the weakest rap verses this side of Gucci Mane.

As you all probably know, last night was the first of what’s likely to be over 750 airings of the BET Hip-Hop Awards, colorfully hosted by America’s favorite Pimpin’ Negro Leprechaun, Katt Williams. As you all also probably know, my expectations of both The Negro Channel and common contemportary rappers ain’t all that high either. I pretty much spent two hours waiting for Eat Dirt to get hit with an aluminum fold-up chair so that we might actually have been entertained.

Yesterday, I alluded to the ridiculous notion that The Game would also provide Throwback Thursday entertainment for us this week. Since there will be Negro Channel awards airing tonight hosted by A Pimp Named Slickback, said Throwback will run today. "Put You On The Game," [watch above] the final and most overlooked video single for Game's debut LP, is actually my favorite cut on "The Documentary."

A year-old throwback? Trust me. This was not my dumb ass idea.

I've been informed that it's Game Week on SOHH.com, so I can expect more headache than usual from the sick triangle that is Game, G-Unit and Ras Kass supporters. It's okay. I reloaded. Obviously we're gonna discuss the new cut from Mr. Taylor, "Let's Ride." [watch above]

Glad to see Big Doja hasn't changed his shit up any. Homie is still the league's all-time NPM (namedrop per minute) leader. That's a season average I don't think anyone's ever gonna touch on some Ted Williams shit.

De lawd done blessed my right brain.

Apparently, Jay-Z's latest single, produced by Lucifer (AKA Son of the Morning) has a special message out there for aspiring Christians.

Fret not, dear children. For the book of 1 Prodigy, chapter 4, verse 22 reads "50 saved my life, not Jesus Christ."

Whoa. Snoop Dogg looks awake.

R. Kelly need a new rapper to vouch for him like a hmmmmotherfucker since he screwed it up with big meal ticket. Strangely, this combination actually works. Snoop is entirely too high to have an ego. He smoked that shit away, leaving room for the Pied Piper to work his magic. The brainchild of Kells’ and The Reefer Mummy’s unlikely dynamic duo, “That’s That Shit” [watch above] is a heater. They didn’t let anything go to waste in this effort.

They even used Kelly’s actual pee-pee trickle for the opening sound effect.

We’re gonna look into these niggas Ghostface and Charlie Murphy refer to, that you laugh uncomfortably at and pretend to know about.

Okay, children. Today we’re going to learn you about a little supergroup of the 70s and 80s named Shalamar. Featuring a young Jody Watley, coon-specialist Howard Hewett, and butler extraordinaire, Jeffrey Daniel. Responsible for the song Ron Mexico games your mother to (“This Is For The Lover In You”), Shalamar dropped a hard right hand with the smash single “A Night To Remember.” [watch above]

Most of you are too young to know of the movie being parodied here, but know that bum-ass rap video ho-fessional Eric Roberts is NOT part of it.

Akon Murphy and Eric Roberts-Nolte star in “48 More Hours,” a testament to the black man’s futility and inability to stay out of prison. Eminem, The Great White American Hope isn’t usually a cheap add-on type of nigga, but in the case of “Smack That” [watch above] Shady might as well be… shit… Akon.

I too love watching “Lean On Me!”

Young Dro has quickly become one of my new favorite MCs, but the self-annotated trigonometry enthusiast is far from blameless... and visible on dark backdrops. "Rubberband Banks" [watch above] is another strong single filled to the brim with mackalicious braggadocio, far too much for anything short of a green-screen video.

Football season got me missing my favorite sports analyst, Deion Sanders. Why would the nigga even go back to the league and hand over his job cracking me the fuck up on Sunday mornings?

...Must be the money.

Oh, my damn.

I think we have our 2006 Mexican Award winner for “Kids' Choice.” What’s fuckin with Lil Bow Wow AND my favorite touchdown, Chris Brown on the same jawn? I too am addicted to how we kick it. “Shorty Like Mine” [watch above] is catchy enough to lure EVN DA MOSS SMARTIS LEVEL HEDDED 15 YO GYRL WHO B TYPIN LIKE DIS!

You motherfuckers are bringing sensitive back.

Oh, for shame. That little bowl of confectioner’s sugar who I refuse to name again struck a chord with far too many of you. I think y’all need to be punished. Today’s mandate? 15 minutes of “Sensitivity” [watch above] training with Ralph Tresvant and friends. Mr. S-E-N-S-I-T-I-V-I-T-Y brings Bobby Brown and Derek from Soul II Soul along for the dance ride of your 1990 springtime!

I think Justino is bringing Sexyback… back.

Today’s selection is Justin Timberlake’s newest double feature for “Let Me Talk To You/My Love.” [watch it now] Justin partners up with Timbaland again for the first spot, while the white hot mini-man T.I. lends his services to the latter. I’ve now seen three clips from J.T. for this new “grown and sexy” album. At first I was confused, but now I get it.

This nigga reeeeally wants us to think he’s heterosexual!