#2 on Method Man week also happens to be a Throwback Thursday selection for which it is entirely shameful never to have been used until now. “Bring The Pain†[watch it now] is Cheese at his absolute best and the video is pretty much the shit as well.
…that is, if you’re into that early-mid 90’s grimy shit.
"Y'all know what time it is! Let's make em dance!" -- King Diddy
Usually a Puffy jawn accomplishes that much, if nothing else. "Come To Me" [watch it now] is a worthless, steaming pile of Pussycat shit! This wouldn't have even made their album. Diddy tries to bring Danceyback in his own special, pre-packaged, dolphin-toothed manner. Bringing the top pussy along was supposed to ensure victory.
Ehhhh...
He'll show you how to do this, sonnnnn!
Get your rind on.
Do you love me now that I can dance?
In his apparently never-ending and televised quest to find a soulmate, Flavor is definitely covering the important bases again. We find that the nex,t most important characteristic of a Flavette-to-be is the ability to dance… and well. “Flavor of Love†is apparently about to begin a 2-part mini-saga I’d like to call “Showing Your Black Ass For The Stars.â€
Sorry, “Dancing†didn’t seem appropriate.
Nevermind who you thought I was… I’m Rick James, bitch!
In a bittersweet selection, Busta Rhymes' latest video “In The Ghetto†[watch it now] features the now posthumous of Teena Marie’s ex-pimp. Unforunately, Rick was obviously unable to attend the shoot. If there's a heaven for a nigga like Rick, he's probably chillin... doin a line off a titty... while the girl's tied to a chair with fresh Newport burns up and down her body.
R.I.P. Rick
I don't wanna be the one to tell you how it's gotta be.
However, it is indeed Throwback Thursday again. This week, we're going to trounce a textbook definition one-hit wonder. Come along, it will be fun. In 1992, Joe Public released the Nickelodeon-ready, pre-packaged chocolate milk commercial that was the video for "Live and Learn." [watch it now]
Here are some bridges I won't mind burning.
In... the... land... of.. a... mill-ion... hoes... Sleepy Brown, Big Boi and Pharrell embark on a secret mission which appears to primarily entail human trafficking in "Margarita." [watch it now] Is this that brave new world Outkast has been trying to open up to us? Or is this just what is liable to happen when you let Antwan stray too far from Andre?
At least Dre would have had his bitches jumpin out of jack-o-lanterns painted plaid with pink revolvers or some shit. I guess Pimp Van Winkle over here is a little more direct with his. Fair enough.
What the fuck is this?!
Harriet Tubman just rolled over in her shit.
Foofy Foofy'd finally got the right idea: Make these skip-skaps and scollywhops earn their keep (rent, rather). Last night on Flavor of Love 2, the contestants were introduced to some of the less appealing aspects of the undocumented workforce.
No, no, n-no now...
In easily the most poignant and touching episode of "Run's House" to date, Chief Runbone and tribe have to find a way to deal with the age-old notion that De Lawd giveth and De Lawd taketh away. Angela and Vanessa fly the coop while Justine's oven-roaster is browning.
Oh, I'm buzzin because...
In 1994/1995, a really tall, awkward young man with a silky voice and demeanor burst onto the r&b/hip-hop scene with "This Is How We Do It" [watch it now] and a light so green I sometimes wonder if he's a Simmons.
Eh, nevermind that notion. Russell hates his family... and good rappers.
Preface: Timbo will do anything for a check. He's 2-for-2 this season. Keep fuckin around, they gon change that Tim to Sam.
There was a time when Justin Timberlake’s banana cake ass could have gotten just about any woman in the U.S. to do his cornrows. Times are looking hard as hell as Justin fuckin Timberlake has to go through some Matrix shit to get some burn. He claims to be bringing “Sexyback,†[watch it now] when in fact, lil’ homie is bringing creepy back.
Sorry, I couldn’t turn the letters around like in his wayyyy cooool posters. We ain’t got that kind of budget at SOHH.
I have been in a very "House Party" mood this week. So the madness are two heartwarming, age-indicating Kid 'N Play videos.
The first is the ever-classic dance-off at Play's party.
Ain't my type of hype, baby!
I’m gonna come out and tell you what I think nice and early like so there’s no confusion. Flavor Flav obviously isn’t looking for love this time around. We’ve got all types of actresses, posers and shitbirds clawing around Starvin Marvin’s temporary digs. I’m surprised Bill Cosby hasn’t already issued a Bin Laden-style mixtape pledging jihad against Flavor Flav and his ho pyramid. "Flavor of Love 2" is Grade-A coonery. By watching this program, you hereby accept that you are causing the gravesite of at least one slave or civil rights activist fully turn 180 degrees on itself.
I feel so much better. Now we may proceed.
She's not just diggin... She's diggin's inspiration!
Maybe it's not Kimora's fault. Maybe it's just the Simmons way to scurry about the family tree looking for nuts. Kimora stepped to Big Russell the exact same way a few years ago. "Daddy, I wanna do a clothing line..." Heh heh.
In addition, after watching Jojo coach Russy on how to trash Diggy WWF style, we embark on a 21-minute adventure to find the source of Lil’ Russy’s anger. This week’s episode of "Run’s House" includes more of what we love [to hate]. Wrasslin', nepotism and The Black Jessica Simpson: What more could a nigga need?
This shit is back in the day when Mariah Carey would collaborate with any damn rapper on the table. Despite being a rap whore at this point in her career, Bone Thugs â€"N- Harmony were and still are the perfect rappers for Mariah in terms of meshing melody... and hairstyles. Fresh off her dick thrashing at the hands of Derek Jeter, the “Breakdown†[watch it now] begins our peer into "The Descent of Mimi."
I used to think Andre was the throwed one and Big Boi was the cool one kinda goin for the ride… ya know, dabbling here and there. The video for “Morris Brown†[watch it now] confirms that I couldn’t have been more wrong. Outkast is Outkast because they are two cherries off the same laced blunt.
I mean... Look up! Nigga look like Farrakhan walked under the Skittles rainbow.
Monday Madness is getting the bump for Flavor Flav and his stable of skrippers.
In honor of the return of Flavor of Crack, I thought it appropriate to share this heartfelt public service announcement from Mr. Paul Rubens... AKA Pee-Wee the Jerker.
He's baaaaaaaack!
You niggas know what time it is. After the Hoopz debacle, this season’s theme appropriately enough, is “No Mo' Gold Diggers.†How you plan to do that on a television show/contest that’s already been aired for a full season, I don’t know. To compound the damage, they even upped the hoodrat ratio. Damn, homie. It’s been a long time coming, but I’m glad to say:
Flavor of Love, Season 2 is here… and it’s gonna be the shit!
*snickering*
My son can rap, right Brooke?
I really know how it feels to be... stressed out, stressed out. On this week's episode of "Run's House," The Good Reb'm GED is looking for ways to deal with the strain of pastorship, fathehood, rapstering and facilitating the creation of ugly ass shoes. Throw into the mix that his oldest sun Jojo has jumped from one bug to yet another and we've got a twisted episode ahead of us. No pun intended.
Jojo... Stick to managing Diggy.
Before a Harlem rapper's press conference had anything to do with open-toe sandals or Killa Seasons, we had a somewhat noble purpose. Commander Kool Moe Dee with Secretary of Education KRS-One and Secretary of Defense Chuck D implore that we "Rise 'N' Shine." [watch it now]
Yes, let's stop the violence... Immediately after you get shit on by LL Cool J.
Look what happens when a nigga get ONE damn chain.
Have you ever wanted to purchase some gawdy jewelry to impress all the niggas on living on the same broke ass block as you? In the same bum ass building as you? If so, Jibbs’ “Chain Hang Low†[watch it now] is the video for you.
Fergie Ferg and me love you long time?!
We have to nip this shit in the bud immediately. No more Tanqueray for these wankers. Homegirl obviously can't hold hers. Fergie’s debut single, “London Bridge,†[watch it now] is the stereotypical, coon-bred bullshit we've come to love and expect from the Collard Greens and Cornbread crew. It looks like the shit was produced by the surviving member of Milli Vanilli.
Girl, you know it's... Girl, you know it's... Girl, you know it's...
