Now itâ€™s time to say goodbyeâ€¦ to all our Negro friends!
Mickey Mouse Club alum Christina Aguilera has emerged from yet another co-coon. The once teen idol-turned-dirty bird re-presents herself to the mass public as what appears to be a married hooker from the early 1900s struggling to put a few dollars together at the after-hours spot. Her newest single and video â€œAinâ€™t No Other Manâ€ [watch it now] give us Aggy in all her wiggerifficness.
Yes, we make up words here. We call that artistic license. Iâ€™ve got a few points on mine.
Speaking of pointsâ€¦ back to mine.
Aggy is surrounded by a lot of chocolate in this speakeasy. The former cover of now defunct (I think) Latina Magazine is definitely known for pulling out the Yellow Card. No, not this is not some World Cup shit (though, Zidane should give her some Bonk action). Shorty is Puerto Rican when convenient. Right now is a pretty good time to be Chrissy from the Blockâ€¦ er, umm, Cathouse.
If thereâ€™s nothing else positive to say about Ms. New Boobies and her cannon for an esophagus, they are definitely winning the war with Britney Spears. Homegirlâ€™s been a complete mess since Justin left her hangin. Just goes to show, you can't put Febreeze on trailer trash. The shit still stinks like week-old Spam.
Peep the "Smooth Criminal" ending. Hmmm, Michael Jackson? Maybe she doesn't think sheâ€™s black. She canâ€™t reenact that shit to perfection. Not because she canâ€™t dance, but because if she were to crush a cue ball in her palm, sheâ€™d probably sniff the dust.
In addition to the release of her new album, X-Teena can be seen in a couple of night-vision only porn videos and has lent her voice talents to a new Disney part-animated childrenâ€™s film entitled â€œThe Never-ending Torso.â€
Iâ€™m sayin, if that girl ainâ€™t about a Kool-Aid dip stick with fake titties, I donâ€™t know what she is.
Thanks, Premo! Letâ€™s see you hook up M.O.P. next. Those niggas are in a sad, sad way.
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