Respect for the legend. The late, great Luther Vandross.
He was on my mind this week. So we're gonna watch "A House Is Not A Home" live. Play this a little later and you might could get you some booty.
Keeping in the tradition of our ancestors, probably spurred by a new addition to the African Serenity room (these niggas have an African Serenity room?!), Chief J. Runbone embarks on a renewed mission to lead his family in spirit and action across the board. As Justine goes out to do some independent thinking and make a few career moves, Joey is left to care for the litter.
What's the over-under on a failed attempt at Hamburger Helper?
That’s the sound of the beast!
KRS-One’s slightly dated yet timeless testimonial of police corruption and brutality still holds entirely too pertinent. “The Sound of the Police†[watch it now] reminds us of both the historical and present-day responses by the po-po to us wide nose-having chocolate monkeys breathing up all the white man’s air.
"If you scared, go to church cuz the remix hurts." â€" Richie Rich
"Fuck, so does the original." â€" Ron Mexico
Just because you made a personal joint about your folks doesn’t mean we should all be exposed to it. “Never Went to Church†[watch it now] are the laments of a youngster with a few too many regrets about shit he probably didn’t have too much control over.
I doesn’t fink me main man Ali G was knockin dis shit at any point. E might ‘ave picked dis up on accident instead of “On My Way To Church†and been well pissed wif one Mr. Joseph “Jimmy†Jones.
Today's selection: Busta Rhymes' self-imposing anthem for hip-hop's mecca, "New York Shit." [watch it now] I’m not into the nationalist-esque sentiment that clouds this song (and the brains of most New Yorkers) but this shit is kinda hot. New York most certainly needs a swift kick in the ass and Busta provides it. I expected a little more from this video than a live performance strewn with cameos, but eh… times are changing, I guess.
Fuck Fox News.
Yes, I said it. Last week, Fox Klan Channel correspondent David Lee Miller got popped at while covering the situation the Middle East. His dumb ass is probably going to get some kind of award for this shit.
No, you shouldn't be that close to a tank. Even if it's Israeli, fuckstick.
Catto Matte, everyone!
SOHH presents… a new kind of list. Apparently Justine’s efforts to communicate her resentment for being neglected and borderline verbally abused by her pimp Chief J. Runbone (oh, he’s never getting past that one) reach a boiling point, prompting her to devise a list for him to consider. Sadly enough, Clause 1, Article 1 apparently reads “Stop talking down to me like I’m a stripper named Chocolate Hamhocks.â€
All she ever wanted was to bust down some chicken wings in peace, Runbone! What’s wrong with that?!
"They so crispy!"
Throwback Thursday goes boy band!
We all know the legacy of the five boys from Indiana who went on to touch little boys, drown wives, use Crisco for face cream and a host of other fucked up shit that having Joe Jackson as a father would do for you. We also know the legacy of the Boston band that brought us "Thug Lovin," Sensitive-ass motherfuckers, "Poison," and Keith Sweat’s “friend,†Johnny. Soul For Real and “Candy Rain†[watch it now] are the twisted offshoot of said legacies.
…and if you don’t like this shit, we can’t be friends. Fuck that.
I heard you got the fever for the flavor?
Underground veteran and Kanye West weed carrier/verse writer Rhymefest enters uncharted territory in his new video "Fever." [watch it now] I get the feeling he's never been in a sea of pre-paid hoes before. Trust me, kids... It's not as much fun as it looks. The video also doubles as a fried chicken commercial.
Shit. Kel Mitchell can't have all the finger-lickin' fun, can he?
It’s officially time to stop defending Paul Wall.
So The People’s Champ really wanted to slam that wrestler offspring, huh? Was he thinking about the Hulkamania when he hit it? Shit, was Hulk in the room? This would be like his personal Lauryn Hill marriage to a Marley… any Marley. I digress. What I really mean to tell you is that "About Us" [watch it now] is the ultimate in sports entertainment. Brooke Hogan AKA Jailbait Jennifer is primed to be put in The Pedigree... onto a chair preferrably.
For the 12 of you left that haven't seen this. Method Man let Wendy Williams know what he thought about her airing out his wife's illness on national radio. It's not pretty.
Naw, this ain’t some Chevy Chase shit. This ain’t even the Johnson Family Vacation. This is wayyyy bigger! This week on “Run’s House,†the Simmons family packs up its Game Boys, makeup kits and paternity tests for Las Vegas! Daddy’s on bidness, but the kids are the ones that gotta get to work… ultimately so Daddy can get down to bidness. *wink wink*
This week’s throwback comes from yet another legend that we should have paid some homage to quite fucking long ago. By the time “Safe + Sound†[watch it now] was released DJ Quik was already a household name on the west. For some strange reason, his swagger, funky production, sharp, nasal flow, red clothes and flowing perm never really hit big on the other side of the Mississippi. For fucking shame. I’m sure damn near every rap fan has knocked some Quik shit. They just didn’t know it.
I guess B-Rad wasn’t done with the mic just yet.
Comedian Jamie Kennedy lives out some more of his rap fantasies with homie Stu Stone and none other than Sunset Strip john legend Bob Saget in his debut video “Rollin’ With Saget.†[watch it now] Known for his surprisingly edgy stand-up, now far removed from his Danny Tanner days, Mr. Saget has apparently become quite the party monster. Watching Jamie Kennedy try to keep up with the lines of blow is entertainment enough for me.
I guess we're finally catching wind of the real Malibu's Most Wanted.
Now it’s time to say goodbye… to all our Negro friends!
Mickey Mouse Club alum Christina Aguilera has emerged from yet another co-coon. The once teen idol-turned-dirty bird re-presents herself to the mass public as what appears to be a married hooker from the early 1900s struggling to put a few dollars together at the after-hours spot. Her newest single and video “Ain’t No Other Man†[watch it now] give us Aggy in all her wiggerifficness.
Yes, we make up words here. We call that artistic license. I’ve got a few points on mine.
Yeeeeeah, it's The Juggernaut, BITCH!
J2: Juggment Day is here!
In an episode of "Run's House" that is light on the Good Reb'm GED Joseph Simmons' on-screen appearances, his presence is felt more than usual. In this episode we get to see how his Hot 97 "words of wisdom" have actually influenced his Runlings. Vanessa wants to go hop in front of a camera in rebellion; Angela wants to shake the finger that scared Nebuchadnezzar straight; Jojo's stuntin like his daddy; and Diggy & Russ apparently don't have opinions because Run didn't give them any yet.
Yep, that sounds about right. Oh... and Justine is a god-damned snitch!
All I wanna know is if ya body wanna party...
Well, I guess hip-hop needed another anthem... and sweaty niggas from New Jersey! "Feel Me Flow" [watch it now] was just one of a great many anthemic classics from the Illtown trio Naughty By Nature. Treach, Vin Rock and Kay Gee (the shady producer nigga who has moved on to become Jaheim's daddy while Vinny and Treach were last seen hugging up on 3LW) took another swing at rap game relevance with one of the greatest [summer] songs ever dropped by a rap act.
I still listen to this shit regularly.
(Memo to bum-ass niggas: There's a giveaway inside!)
Ali & Big Gipp make for a very strange combination, but conceptually I like it. The STL/ATL bridge leads me to one question: Is being paired with Murphy Lee really that bad? I guess I’d rather be splitting my stack with Gipp too. At the end of the night all he wants is the big piece of chicken after they smoke. “Go Head†[watch it now] is, of course, an ode to ass that sits up nice and high. Luckily none of the chickenheads are doing the chickenhead.
Oh, yeah… the girls aren’t doing it either.
Mr. Mexico is back on Mondays!
Every Monday, whether you like it or not, I'm going to hit you with a video clip of SOME kind. Could be a music video, could be some comedy, could be horsey porn. Who knows?
Today, I'm in a happy place. We've got a holiday coming up, and I'm swingin. Holler at this classic Mint Condition jawn I was lucky enough to find.
Also, fuck with us this week for another giveway (details inside).
