June 2006 Archives

Look at Joey's face! The nigga is tired! What's the charge of this week's edition of "Run's House?" If the Caped Crusader doesn't find a way to "manage" his career and homelife, he will have raised the worst/dumbest criminals ever. Oh yeah, and the daughter who has one foot on a porno set and the other on a banana peel will have shot her first scene jerking some dude off with her feet.

Only a Simmons can give you that kind of love and tenderness!

This week's throwback has been everywhere from the back of Killa Cam's mind to the foreground in a pretty effin hilarious cell phone commercial. Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It" [watch it now] let the world know that not only could women do this rap shit, but they could go POP with it too. Of course, S&P would adapt like chameleons, revamping their image and conveying messages of actual importance to our community... but before all that, they looked like some project hoes with a management team, press-on nails and a dream.

That's the Salt-N-Pepa I love to push up on! Fuck it. I'm a hoodrat.

Jesus Christ had dreads, so shake 'em!

22-time Grammy Award-loser India.Arie is up to her old tricks. Surprisingly enough she had joined forces with rap's social butterfly du jour, Akon for her latest "love thyself" offering "I Am Not My Hair." [watch it now] Amen, sister! Since my first time viewing this video almost 3 weeks ago I have gone rasta in an attempt to better myself. I have done a lot of hemp work and have neither visited the barber shop nor indulged in swine.

No, wait... I had pernil at the spanish spot. Nevermind. Oh yeah, and this white girl gave me her number... Oh shit! Are we not supposed to do the milky cocoa puff thing either? Fuck. I make a terrible rasta. Now I gotta kick it with Empire Isis!

I cherish the day...

So, my birthday just passed. I thank you all for the love... and the hate! I thought maybe I'd go soft because it was my born day, but I don't have the heart to let you all down. I tried to turn the clock back 10 or 12 years to see if I would have appreciated this hot garbage from the Cherish Sisters even then. I couldn't see it happening. Add the laziest rapper to get consistent guest spot work, and I guess you have a 106 & Park classic like "Do It To It." [watch it now]

Anyone can get signed to Capitol. I'd better go round up my little cousins and start whipping their asses into shape in front of my karaoke machine... Literally.

Question: What do black men hate more than police, country music and Clay Aiken?

Answer: Going to the got damn doctor! This week on "Run's House," The Good Reb'm [Reverend] GED (I don't think he's a doctor) is pressured to go get that 40-year-old checkup. I think part of why we don't like to go, especially at that age, is because we spend so much of our energy trying to stay out of prison and avoiding anal penetration. What nigga you know wants to just walk into it?

Nevermind... Don't answer that. I'm sure you know somebody.

Okay guys, I know this sucks balls...

but Ronaldo hasn't seen this week's episode of "Run's House!

Reason: Last night there was a power outage on my ghetto-ass block. Slumlords haven't quite yet adapted to the multitudes of white folks that have moved into the buildings in Harlem with things called air conditioners. I'd heard about them "ACs," but saw one in person for the first time last week.

Anyway, no power, no "Run's House." I tried looking for it online on the popular bootlegging avenues, but came up with nothing. I'll be watching the repeat this afternoon and coming at you pretty much live as it airs! Just wanted to drop you all this line to let my peoples know that I'm not bummin out on ya. Just had some techinical difficulties. We gonna make it do what it do as per usual this afternoon to leave you with a smile (or hateful grimace) for the weekend!

Holler!
Ronaldinho
ronnie_mexxx@yahoo.com, www.myspace.com/ronnie_mexxx

Congratulations to all the winners of the Waist Deep Soundtrack giveaway!

For all curious, Larenz Tate's character on "Family Matters" was Willie Fuffner.

Before we crack open this week’s edition Throwback Thursday, it’s time for the Talkin’ Videos/"Waist Deep" Soundtrack trivia question!

What was the name of “Waist Deep” star Larenz Tate’s recurring character on the 1990s hit sitcom “Family Matters?”

The first 5 dopefiends to email talkingvideos@sohh.com with the correct answer and a mailing address will receive her or his own copy of the Waist Deep Soundtrack.

Now, on we go to the rodeo show, Bumpers! Earlier this week Crunchy Black’s “Shoulder Lean” and DPG’s “Cali Iz Active” both either alluded to directly or evoked nostalgia within us all for a video from the man who popularized this West Coast gangsta shit on mainstream wax. After literally hundreds of videos covered, we finally discuss one of rap’s most legendary music videos Dr. Dre’s “Nothin But A G Thang.” [watch it now] (scroll down the sidebar to find the video)

All three of these niggas’ careers have hit a low to the point where they want to be seen in public together again. Excellent! “We’ve United the West Coast… to give us some money!” In a desperate plea to convince us that California’s rap scene still has a heartbeat, Snoop Dogg, Daz Dillinger and Kurupt (Tha Dogg Pound)... have a fuckin barbecue in "Cali Iz Active." [watch it now]

...Niggas be baaaaarbecuin' and shit.

Now you can't say Ron Mexico ain't never gave back to the community!

In honor of the release of Waist Deep... and being that Waist Deep has bought a shitload of ad space this week, including my blog, we are giving away copies of the soundtrack!

Yes, you can own the Waist Deep Original Motion Picture Soundtrack for abso-friggin-lutely free. SOHH, Ronnie Mexx and the good folks of Waist Deep are hookin' you up! Check inside for details!

“Ay, Dro! Tip here!”

Ah, yes… the phrase that summates a weed carrier’s life and career. T.I. leads his Pimp Squad Crew Team Collective Pimp of the Month, Young Dro, by the hand through his own video for the ever-infectious “Shoulder Lean.” [watch it now]

"Can we finish this match and then we can fight?”

Yeah, Jojo. That sounds about right!

Welcome to season two of one of my new favorite shows. Confused, displaced boughetto children with the weirdest Negro-musician/reverend since Al Green… What’s not to love? After raising enough of a spectacle to warrant an MTV series (renewed for a second season), Joey and Boo Boo decide to add yet another touchdown to the tribe. That’s a bombshell fit for a season premiere!

The name of this shit here is...

Eh, who the fuck knows how to spell it? In 1996, the Boot Camp Click showed the depth of its rotation with O.G.C. and Heltah Skeltah's merger The Fab 5. I'm not sure who's Jalen Rose and who's calling the touchdown timeout, but I do know that "Lefleur Leflah Eshkoshka" [watch it now] is indeed the shit, and that there was more to the BCC than Black Moon and Smif 'N Wessun.

Oh, yeah... The video's pretty cool too.

Why did they let these 2 get together?

This is the kind of ego storm that could end human life as we know it! That’s right. We could all die in a shower of conceit, errant skeet and fresh-off-the-Skateboard Pee. What looks like a simple song for the chickadees is really this new metrosexual music superpower testing its reach. Ignore Pharrell, Kanye West and “Number One” [watch it now] to the best of your ability! They are the darkside.

Hmmm... these don't look like field niggas to me.

Finally in a place that looks nice and comfortable for them, away from the heat and whips, Shawn J and Smoke have the room to inhale something other than cotton particles. The end result? "So What," [watch it now] Field Mob and Ciara's straight-to-106 & Park contact-free teeny-bop circle-jerk. (That's a 3 hypenated word combo, people!)

Jazze's been a house nigga long enough to show these guys the ropes. They'll be okay.

If it's garbage that you want, maybe you should be right here.

This is one of those special cases where a song that is boo-boo juice is overmatched not by a great video, but by something more along the lines of solid stool. Rihanna, Princess of the Carter Administration goes for blood with "Unfaithful," [watch it now] a song that made me want to fight as soon as my ears started to heal.

Who you callin' a bitch?

Obviously Queen Latifah's had it up to here with the misogyny, so we're gonna keep Women's Week rolling on Talkin' Videos with "U.N.I.T.Y.," [watch it now] a classic from my favorite Latifah album "Black Reign." Shit... that's one of the best rap albums of 1993 period. (No, I'm not buggin, and yes, I'm including "36 Chambers," "Doggystyle," "The Diary," "Bacdafucup" and "'93 'Til Infinity.")

Meep, Meep!

Looks like Nelly Furtado is ready to reinvent herself in a Kelis-type way. Let's have a look at the new mom and her contribution to this steadily expanding genre I like to call Ho-Hop. Pop rap's white girl du-jour of a few years ago is ready to reclaim her throne, and she brought a little friend with her. Yes, Timbaland is little by comparison and trying his damndest to save "Promiscuous" [watch it now] from the quick, painless death it was born to undergo.

The same girl that brought Nas to Killa Cam's [former] backyard for daily egg creams believes that she can have any nigga chasing the ice cream truck with tights and a cape on. The once-again-reborn Kelis and Harlem's most popular poodle (I mean the dog, not Nasir) join forces with the always-out-of-retirement Too $hort for her latest single "Bossy" [watch above].

Whip it real hard. Whip it! Whip it! REAL HARD!

What a turn of events... you guys demanded that I reach back for this one, and Devo is now certified gangsta.

I put niggas like this into a category I like to call "Why are you rapping?" You're not particulary good at it, and it sounds like you've sold enough cocaine to turn every Black American, professional athlete or otherwise, into at least Doc Gooden. Trick Daddy's co-defendant-to-be, Rick Ross, wants the world to know he's "Hustlin'." [watch above] And that's not some candy ass metaphor, fuck-ass nigga! My nigga Ricky Ricardo is selling cocaine.

Canibus, the verbally vicious, telekinetically gifted one pleads his case to the uneducated black masses. "Nigganometry," now "Negronometry" [watch it now] for the video version, is one of my favorite jawns from the Can-I-Bus album.

This video is one hell of a trade school commercial.