For the weekend The Ron Mexico Chronicles leave you with our colorful interview with Schatar Taylor, better known to most as Hottie on Flavor of Love. The ever-enigmatic cake-a-holic takes the time to talk chicken, boobies, music and the bottom lineâ€¦ getting your paper strong like Hercules!
Much like on the show, when asked why she considered herself the best choice for the Foofyman, she declares that she always has his best interests in mind, and her business savvy could help Flavor Flav turn his current cheese into a dang quesadilla. (pronounced: kay-SUH-Dilla)
The University of Pennsylvania alum (yes, thatâ€™s an Ivy League institution) also insists that while she was looking to make it happen with Flavor on the show, since being ousted sheâ€™d much rather entertain other romatic interests.
â€œI enjoyed the time thatâ€¦ I was on the show and getting a chance to know him, but since Iâ€™ve been off the show Iâ€™ve received so many offers and one marriage proposalâ€¦ Iâ€™m probably going to look at those opportunities first.â€
She later revealed to me that some of the offers sheâ€™s entertaining came from Myspace.
Okayâ€¦ itâ€™s time to talk chicken!
Ron Mexico: Tell us about the chicken in the microwave [laughter]
Schatar Taylor: [laughter] Anyone who knows me, they know I donâ€™t know anything about cooking chicken. Like a week ago, like after that episode aired someone said â€œHey Hottie, that button on the microwave that says chicken, thatâ€™s for defrost.â€ I had no idea that was for defrostâ€¦
(She then proceeded to explain to me how to cook eggs in the microwave.)
ST: Plus, there was no way I was getting near that grease on the stoveâ€¦
RM: That â€œchicken in the microwave thingâ€â€¦ I donâ€™t think you understand. That got a lot of people. Everyone just up in arms about that.
ST: Even now when I look at the chicken, I donâ€™t see whatâ€™s wrong with it! I mean, I did my best with the recipe. I was going for sweet-and-sour chicken. So I put the marshmallows to give that kind of sweet flavor and then the chow mein crispy noodles. I know when I eat like sweet and sour chicken at a restaurant, I bite into it and itâ€™s a little bit crispy. So thatâ€™s why the noodles were on the outside. So I donâ€™t see why people are shocked. It looked good to me.
I swear to you, I heard that infamous blinking noise right after she said that shit.
RM: You would have eaten that chicken?
ST: No! But the recipe was fine!
(She then described what she did with the giblets and garnish. To which my response was againâ€¦)
ST: Isnâ€™t that what youâ€™re supposed to do?
RM: No. Not in the slightest. You have to make sure the chicken is going to be cooked and there is no way that chicken will be cooked all the way through in 4 minutes. Thatâ€™s a big ass chicken! Youâ€™re going to give somebody salmonella like that!
After talking chicken we got to talking chickenhead. The conversation shifted to gold-digging.
RM: I donâ€™t know if you watch the showâ€¦ But during your testimonials every time you blink there is a cash register noise. Have you seen that?
ST: I have seen that. Yes.
RM: Iâ€™m sure they are trying to imply that youâ€™re a gold-digger. Would you call yourself one of those?
ST: Ugh. A gold-digger is someone that does not care about the man that is sharing the moneyâ€¦ I have the manâ€™s best interests in mindâ€¦ I totally care about the guy and if he wants to be generous and share his assets with me, hey, I am all for that. I was told by the ancients that the streets are lined with diamonds and gold to be picked up and enjoyed. So that is how I like to live, completely abundantly.
RM: So you ainâ€™t sayin youâ€™re a gold-digger? [sinister laughter]
I spent a lot more time discussing the philosophy of gold-digging with Hottie, but we moved on to other interesting topics. This girl is highly entertaining. Gotta keep her talking!
RM: They made a lot of jokes about your measurements. No one ever agreed with them. They went into their testimonials and made jokes about it. What are your measurements?
ST: Can I make a confession to you?
ST: My true bust size is 44DD. The reason why I said it was only 38 while I was at the house was because I didnâ€™t want the other women to be jealous and try to throw me off the show.
RM: Okayâ€¦ [long pause]
She also took the time to address the claim that people say she looks like Beyonce. Iâ€™m not touching that one. Delusions of grandeur are far from my area of expertise.
In quite possibly the highlight of the discussion, the self-proclaimed musical genius even sang an interpolation of the Jackson 5â€™s â€œWhoâ€™s Lovinâ€™ You?â€ that was especially designed for Flavor Flav. Youâ€™ll just have to listen to that audio once it goes up. The whole shit is hilarious!
Schatar was a wonderful guest and we hope to have her back on SOHH soon when she releases her single. Thatâ€™s right, She told me she has a record deal and has already cut her first single. Neither the name of the single nor label were divulged to me, but I have a feeling weâ€™ll all be hearing from Schatar in the very near future. Sheâ€™s also featuring in a new movie called â€œWaist Deepâ€ co-starring Tyrese, Meagan Good, The Game â€œand I think Larenz Tate is in there too.â€
You canâ€™t write shit like that. Poor Larenz Tate. How the mighty have fallen.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Wanna holler at the heat? Get more of Schatar Taylor at her website www.schatar.com!
Holler at me first thoughâ€¦ firstname.lastname@example.org
Myspace me. I even have Flavor of Love friends now!