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TALKIN' VIDEOS - the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos

Hammer - "Pumps And A Bump" (The Derrrty Version)

Posted on February 23, 2006 9:56 AM

In Memoriam: Stanley Kirk Burrell

What can I say about this video that hasn’t already been said about Ashlee Simpson? There’s a reason why you can’t find this video anywhere. The original "Pumps And A Bump" video [watch above] is about the most shameful shit I’ve ever seen. I’m surprised the former minister-in-training didn’t get his balls struck by lightning. Who would’ve thunk it… Hammer had an UnCut video before The Negro Channel thought to degrade our culture with such a program? Blaze a 50 for our fallen hero today. In fact… roll one up and take what’s left to his widow and kids.

Shoutouts to my man Micah for the connect on video!

Damn, nigga… How you go from a remote-controlled waterfall to doin debt consilidation commercials? I blame this shit. The Funky Headhunter was the middle of the beginning of the end of Stanley’s life, career and paper flow. This is why you can’t give Oakland niggas no money! I bet just changing and disinfecting the water after this video cost a good $2 million. If he'd have hired a financial consultant instead of 750 of his not-so-closest niggas from the hood (including the dude with the spade haircut) nigga might have enough to take his kids to Jack-in-the-Box today. You know they got the best cheesecake!

As far as shameless shit goes, I don’t think even Eddie Murphy would have done this. Even after being busted with a male transvestite hooker, this would have been a new low for Ed. Funny shit, Hammer had the vocal inflection to make a really good gangster rapper. He might have been better off going that route, because this video erased ALL of the positivity he was trying to profess with his previous work. I can't even look at the "Pray" video anymore. Wait.. I never was able to stomach that shit... nevermind.

Sadly enough, aside from the rapper dressing like one of the video hoes, this is pretty much standard attire for a rap video today. Hammer himself definitely looks like he used to shake it up for singles before the rap thing jumped off. Nigga looks like a stripper named Cocoa Crispees in this damn video. (How your mama gonna name you Coco Crisp, son?)

How the hell do you go on camera with Timbs, a Speedo and workout gloves? Nigga jumpin around lookin like the Oakland Strangler. Secondly, Why isn’t Deion Sanders in THIS version of the video as well? Then we would have turned this shit up a notch! Hammer ain’t greasy enough a dude. Prime Time would have had that shit lookin like "Tip Drill". Can’t you see Deion throwin a fistful of money into Hammer’s crotch while he’s poppin it like that? We could have had a classic, people!

When this nigga does his little snake we can see his taint. That’s fucking disgusting. The Hammer snake is almost as disturbing to look at as the Prince gaze. I know this doesn’t normally refer to dudes, but Hammer gave the world a taste of his own cank stoochie. How can he breathe in that thing?

I know this was the HARD Hammer album… How can him and his homeboy act hard wearing Speedos?! “Never been a coward. Cause it’s an East Side thing./” I’ll tell you what… Nigga definitely wasn’t shook. It took a lot of balls to do this… and a damn flashlight in the drawers. So wrong!

Look closely. No one makes physicial contact with anyone else in this video. I guess Hammer couldn’t afford the platinum package from the modeling agency. Understandable when you order the 1,500 girl pack. He didn’t get the value pack either. The girls look pretty good and can dance. Hammer never did quite know how to hold back. He was a stunna, baby!

What’s up with that Hammerman dance routine at the end. Shit looks like it was choreographed by TLC. Hambone can do a hell of a lot better than that… and does in the amended version of this video.

I was never sure of this, maybe one of you could help… Is that Aaron Hall at the end looking fresh out of prison? Damn, I guess he didn’t need Deion. He probably had to fight about 12 rape charges after the video shoot on Aaron Hall’s account alone. That’s an expensive ass cameo!

Rest In Peace, Hammer. We’ll miss you and the dude with the spade haircut. In memory of his life, PLEASE shit on this nigga today. Y’all been askin for this throwback for a LONG time. You finally got it.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Guilty as hell for lovin the pumps and a bump? OWWWWWW! ronnie_mexxx@yahoo.com

If you myspace me, you could win a chance to attend the video shoot for Pastor Mason Betha’s cover of Pumps And A Bump, shot on location at 50 Cent’s house.

Posted by Ron Mexico

Comments

  • Sin says...
  • I can't believe they never caught this nigga smokin crack.

  • February 23, 2006 11:23 AM
  • Decatur's Finest says...
  • Giat Dayum...that's a throwback for real. Not only do you have the old ass video, you have the old-school purple and yellow letters from Rap City with Prince Dejour talking in the background. Damm, that makes me wanna go back in my vaults my damn self.

    And oh yeah man, Hammer is from Oakland, yeah he fucked up on this one, but he still a real cat man...

    But damn tho, you did some digging for this one. Can't wait until the next throwback.

  • February 23, 2006 11:26 AM
  • papoose says...
  • i dont think amma shit on dis dude,instead,i think amma shit on yo transexual ass.u gay mutherfucker.matter o' fact,go suck ur fathers dick for a minute or 2.n wen ur tru,tell ur momz 2 do the same 2 ur lil 3 inch dick.stupid clown ass mutherfucker.

  • February 23, 2006 11:36 AM
  • brian b says...
  • "Can’t you see Deion throwin a fistful of money into Hammer’s crotch while he’s poppin it like that"

    "Hammer gave the world a taste of his own cank stoochie"

    wow

  • February 23, 2006 11:36 AM
  • MICAH says...
  • Way to not let me down my nigga!! I KNEW IF I PROVIDED THE GOODS YOU'D COME THROUGH! could gave a nigga a shout out though!!! you know how we black folks love shout outs!

  • February 23, 2006 12:19 PM
  • Word says...
  • Alot of these blogs don't interest me, but for some reason this one actually did.

    Maybe it was seeing Hammer rock his Pump in a Bump. Some chicks actually like to see that as much as dudes like to see chicks shake they thang. That don't mean dude aint a real dude. Yadamean! Somebody had too much emphasis on that mans crotch, chill. Dance routine was hot. I might go back and watch this one again.

  • February 23, 2006 12:28 PM
  • H.U. Educated says...
  • Ronnie,
    Your commentary wasn't the funniest thing I've read in a long time...yet, so on point. I felt so "wrong" for sitting here (at work) watching this video. Something just didn't feel right...

  • February 23, 2006 12:31 PM
  • H.U. Educated says...
  • ^^^
    Sorry, I meant to say WAS the funniest
    thing I've read in a long time

  • February 23, 2006 12:32 PM
  • skdamc says...
  • The hateration is rising within me, where do I begin.......
    This porch monkey reminds me of "King Beef" from those corny movies Martin, Tommy and Cole used to watch. Watching Mr. Burrell hop around like Siegfeld and Roy's oiled up pool boy made me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I can see those two mo's in the backround," NO, Fearst choo must grdease mine hieney, und den pumps de bums, Herr Hammer!" This has to be the worst case of career suicide since O.J. took that "early evening stroll" through Brentwood. Ronnie Mexx, i need a cyber-barf bag...

  • February 23, 2006 12:38 PM
  • GaySnitch says...
  • HAMMER LOOKS GOOD IN THAT ZEBRA COLORED SPEEDO WIT HIS ISH HARD AND HANGING AND ISH WIT THE PELVIC THRUST AND GYRATIONS.

    FUC ME HAMMER

    I AM GAY BABY!!

  • February 23, 2006 12:47 PM
  • willyjsimmons says...
  • Heavenly Father......

    forgive me for I have just seen 'ding-a-ling in a speedo'.

    If that's not the nastiest shit......

    And Aaron Hall, I forgot that nigga was on this song. I miss that NEW JACK SWING.

    Where's Teddy Riley?

    I'm not gonna front though, the remix was hot. Had them female dancers 'twerkin it' in the splits. Why this version of the video was ever released niggaz will never know.

    I can imagine the look of embarrassment on his wife's face the first time she watch this bullshit, but realized it wasn't worth leavin him because those alimony checks would be in the form of '$5 off a large' and 'Free Chruch Daycare' coupons.

    Old girl must have been bitter as a MUTHA!

  • February 23, 2006 1:15 PM
  • Report This says...
  • YALL GET SO EXCITED WHEN THE TITTY GIRLS BE SHAKING IT AND GRINDING LET US HAVE OUR BOOTY VIDEO. ITS NOT THE BEST MALE BOOTY VIDEIO BUT ITS ALMOST ALL WE GOT. LADIES WE NEED MORE MEN TAKIN IT OFF AND GRINDING CAUSE I AM TIRED OF SEEING STANK ASS WOMEN ON TV DEGRAGING THEMSELVES. MATTER OF FACT. WE DONT NEED NONE OF THIS!! WE NEED TO HAVE ALL THE VIDEOS HAVE A DRESS CODE.

  • February 23, 2006 1:27 PM
  • bluntblazer says...
  • WHY
    MAN DAMN I FORGOT BOUT THIS ONE BUT SHIT YALL ACT LIKE HESA HARD CORE RAPPER HE IS LIKE SISQO OR MARQUES HOUSTON BUT HE CANT SING IF HE HAD JEANS ON THIS VIDEO WOULD BE WATCHABLE CAUSE DA GIRLS ARE HOT MAN PLUS DIS VIDEO IS JUS FOR DA HOES BACK IN DA DAY HOES GOT HYPHY OFF THIS STRAIT STUNTIN IN DA PUMPS MAN. HIS OLD JOB B4 RAPPIN WASNT SELLING DRUGS OR OTHA THUG SHIT HE WAS DANCIN FOR DA OAKLAND A'S. HAMMER'S DONE HIS CAREER ENDED WHEN HE SPENT UP ALL HIS MONEY.

    HYPHY MOVEMENT 06' POP YA COLLA LIKE DIS AND GHOST RIDE YO WHIP

  • February 23, 2006 1:53 PM
  • Naj says...
  • Damn--you really took it back, cuz. I was living in the Bay at the time and I remember that the radio station was talking about this big video shoot Hammer was gonna have-damn. Had some of those real Oakland niggas knew they would be a part of the most unintentionally-intentional soft porn gay videos ever made, I think they would have stuck to slangin crack on the block. Damn.

    Even I couldn't defend him after this one, yo. And then he went on Arsenio and said this was for the ladies-but the ladies looked extra uncomfortable with Hammer sword fightin like Zorro by the pool. Damn.

    LL had Phenomenom which ruined him-
    Ja had Mesmorize
    but before them Hammer had the first career killer-Pumps in a Bump
    If we can be so lucky the BEPs made one too, because if I see that bitch on the Verizon commercial dance to that shit again-I'm poking my eyes out with a chubby crayon.

  • February 23, 2006 1:58 PM
  • jo flow says...
  • yea, this video lets you know, MC Hammers career was one big joke

  • February 23, 2006 2:11 PM
  • bxconnect says...
  • please hammer dont hurt em.

  • February 23, 2006 2:22 PM
  • Shaft says...
  • GOOD LORD...I believe God took this mans money from him so he would never be able to do this again then discover the LORD..this is so nasty..wrong man.,..just wrong..

    nasty

    the only good part is the end when they/HE are wearing clothes..

    nasty

  • February 23, 2006 2:43 PM
  • GAY SNITCH says...
  • HAMMER YOU NEED TO DROP THE HAMMER RIGHT IN MY FAT AZZ BABY!!

    GAY IS OK BABY

    TRAPPED IN THE CLOZET

    DO A GAY PORN VIDEO

    I LUV BIG D'S

  • February 23, 2006 2:52 PM
  • daze says...
  • For the most part i cant touch this seeing as how everyone here has done a phenom job of wiping the floor with hammer... (Ron - your killin me bro!)

    Still its worth noticing that this definitely had influence on artists and their videos out today... and not just "Tip Drill" Nelly... take a close look at them choreographed dances at the end of this video - they have been popping up in videos by D4L and Dem Franchise Boys (take a good look, its the same steps... like a half assed wannabe C-walk... just add snaps)

    Naj - Good one on throwin' back to Arsenio... I remember that ish too!!

  • February 23, 2006 3:19 PM
  • Real Talk says...
  • Damn, I miss these days. I actually liked this song when it came out. The video always stood out, b/c it was the first of it's kind. AND, that was Hammer's actual crib. Dude was too comfortable walkin' around in a speedo in front of his niggaz when they were at that table..lol... I wonder how Hammer's wife felt at the time.

  • February 23, 2006 3:31 PM
  • Naj says...
  • Yeah Daze how about when everyone shitted on Hammer for have "8 million dancers and a big ol band"-Too $hort---but everyone has 8 million dancers and a big ol band.

    Lets at least give him props for that-that banana hammock portion of the game was thank god-not copied!

    Oh to my man bluntblazer, between the bat boy thing w/ the A's and the Ring Em shit, that nigga hammer was in the streets-he was a lousy hustler, which is why he turned to church. That's why cats said he sold out-if he was like that all the time, he wouldn't have gotten so much hate.

    Y'all got me wantin to go find the Hammer VH1 movie-that shit was super classic

  • February 23, 2006 3:35 PM
  • D.H. says...
  • LMAO....Your blogs have got to be the funniest shit out...that video should of been destroyed...the worse about the video is the niggas around are just chillen an bouncin like this nigga doesnt have a speedo an gloves on....

  • February 23, 2006 3:40 PM
  • M says...
  • I feel sorry 4 hammer 4 the fact of being a lousy business man and a door mat 4 every1 2 wipe their feet on. They used him and threw him away. I like the pumps and the bump song though all that we want is a girl who is right who can give it all night .some shit like that. The lil piece of nothin he had on was disgusting .

  • February 23, 2006 4:25 PM
  • Key from the City says...
  • This video is ass on so many levels.

    Hammer's penis looks like a fetus making a Black Power fist.

    If Hammer was a woman, he would be a Jamaican Dance Hall Queen.

    This videos saving grace (HA) is the fact that the woman in the video look real. Some of them even have short hair (!)

  • February 23, 2006 4:32 PM
  • Word says...
  • All you holier than thou filled with the devil, peeps kill me, like you've never seen a man in swim drunks before, cause that's all it is. But when the ladies shake their a$$es and show their t*tts in them videos and shows, I bet you front and center. Sounds like to me some peeps just might be to young to even be on the net exposing themselves to all types of digustinly, grude behavior, let you tell it. Check yourselves and find the apple not falling far from the tree.

  • February 23, 2006 4:51 PM
  • J.B. says...
  • Ron you did it again cuz, in the words of Jim Rome "CLAAAUSIC" were do I begin? Remember when he had 357, and the 2 BIG MC. Well we know 357 wasn't in the video, but that had to be the 2 BIG MC inside of his John Witherspoon speedos. Looking like he had that fat red elementary school pencil in his draws, the one that we used to write with back in the 80's. Hey 29 to 39 year olds remember when we used to like "Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em" don't front we all did then. Now we knew what that meant, I bet theirs another version with Eddie and Arsenio in it.

  • February 23, 2006 4:51 PM
  • Naj says...
  • Y'all niggas forgettin about Ho Frat Ho!!!!

    somebody make me a Bust It Records compliation-I'm buyin!

  • February 23, 2006 4:55 PM
  • JayDee says...
  • Thanks Ron....After the derrty version of Tipdrill earlier this month, I started thinking about this video and tried discussing it with the people I know apparently I was the only one who had seen it. I was atarting to think I had imagined the whole thing. So thanks again Ron for reminding me why I think I believe I know hammer in a derrty way.

  • February 23, 2006 4:59 PM
  • Lowedwn says...
  • Damn I remeber this video too...no comment

  • February 23, 2006 5:56 PM
  • Ron Mexico says...
  • SK... 6 points!

    P.S.: The doxies that think I don't down the videos that grossly objectify women need to swallow a used tampon.

  • February 23, 2006 6:06 PM
  • EnglandRepresent says...
  • STOP..............


    HAMMER TIME!

    'The Hammer snake is almost as disturbing to look at as the Prince gaze.'

    ^^^Fuckin classic Senor Mexico LMAO!!

  • February 23, 2006 6:35 PM
  • Stylezz says...
  • MY VISION!!! I JUST SAW HAMMERS DING A LING IN A PAIR OF ZEBRA MANTIES!!

    I do love this song...but maaaaaan...what kind of video was this?? Why did his friends act like he wasnt in timbs, manties, workout gloves, and a hoop earring? Did one of his boys steal his trunks so he had 2 steal one of the video hoe outfits? THANK GOD IT WASNT A THONG!!!

    I can't lie...the black outfit is live...Id rock that with ease lolz.

    I play this song weekly. It's probably my favourite Hammer tune.

    The dance routine is live....I still do those moves. Literally.

    Tonight I'm going to have nightmares about a manty that has a sock filled with pennies in it chasing me

  • February 23, 2006 6:50 PM
  • Brian Gritty says...
  • I had no problem with the snake.

  • February 23, 2006 6:50 PM
  • Damian Ferguson says...
  • Anybody notice the deathrow chain around his neck....

  • February 23, 2006 7:07 PM
  • 504fudge says...
  • this nigga is trippin but hey i bet he got alot of pussy so whateva n.o. people holla

  • February 23, 2006 7:14 PM
  • Word says...
  • I find it slightly disturbing that mr. mexico, takes offense about the mention of females in videos and not be as offensive at the dude that called him a transexual, I guess he's still getting his Beyonce on, on another chick at that. Way to go, tough guy.

  • February 23, 2006 7:14 PM
  • bluntblazer says...
  • DAMN DIS HAS TO BE DA FUNNIEST VIDEO I EVA SEEN ITS ALMOST LIKE ITS ONE OF THOSE OLD SCHOOL IN LIVING COLOR SHOWS WHERE THEY ARE FLIPPIN A SONG CLOWNIN DA ARTIST. BUT WHO SHOULD BE HAMMER TOMMY DAVIDSON, JAMIE FOXX OR JIM CAREY?
    AFTER THAT VIDEO HE SHOULDA RETIRED
    HE'S NEVA GONNA MAKE A COMEBACK WHENEVA HE TRIES JUS SHOW DAT VIDEO.NUFF SAID.

    AYE-------BRING DAT OLD SKOOL LUNIZ "I GOT FIVE ON IT" BACK PLAYBOY


  • February 23, 2006 7:21 PM
  • bxconnect says...
  • Damian Ferguson did you see the hammer vh1 movie.shit was kind of good.they had son from moesha, hakim playing tupac and some nigga playing suge knight.they showed them shooting this video and suge and pac were there,well the niggas playing suge and pac.matter of fact on that last hammer album he did a song with kurupt and daz.the one with hammer on the cover with a skully.

  • February 23, 2006 7:24 PM
  • blacks301 says...
  • funny ....
    As a great man once said and I qoute

    "The should of never givin you niggas money"

    Does anyone also remember that this was time when hammer was signed to the almighty death row back then...I also remember the tupac tv movie part where they were filming the video..and Suge Knight wanted him to do this...Classic Mistakes ...but ohh well...props to ron for the throw back...keep them comming

  • February 23, 2006 7:54 PM
  • the mayor Dick Daley,ChiTown says...
  • What ya'll know about the remote control waterfall.
    The nikka had a bowling alley in his crib.
    His backup dancers had back up dancers.

    But he helped mo black folk than any other entertainer in memory. Itz a shame... a big heart and big wallet (and a small brain) don't mix.
    In this dog-eat-dog, get rich or die tryin world we in today ain't nobody tryin to help nobody. Matter of fact, we busy keepin each other down. And the ones that break thru kick the rest down. Hammer just tried to help 1,2 many nikkas.
    Fuck that shit, son!! We need more Hammers!

    U best believe if Hammer was hot today, all the Katrina victims could come live at Hammerland.

    Please, Hammer! Don't hate him!

  • February 24, 2006 12:41 AM
  • Ron Mexico says...
  • Word,

    I address important shit... like being accused of misogyny, a little more seriously than being accused of gender bending.

  • February 24, 2006 1:38 AM
  • Shaft says...
  • yeah..someone mentioned it before..but it needs mentioning again...WHO..would let their boy walk around them wearing something like that...Second i see him in that im gone

  • February 24, 2006 3:43 AM
  • Phife dog says...
  • what you say hammmer?
    proper, rap is not pop if you call it that then stop.
    Rip hammer hahahaha

  • February 24, 2006 10:40 AM
  • Word says...
  • Ron Mex,

    I'm smarter than that, if you know what I mean, if not don't worry about it. I didn't accuse anybody of hating woman, in my comment. Verily when I wrote it I didn't really have the author in mind, we both no that it was more than that which got you roused. And a part of it had to do with my first post, which had some similiar references. But, if it touched you, than it was meant for you.

  • February 24, 2006 10:59 AM
  • wiz says...
  • hammer was just trying to tell everybody 'what time it is' with the sundial he keeps in his shorts.

  • February 24, 2006 6:48 PM
  • Melvis says...
  • As far as shameless shit goes, I don’t think even Eddie Murphy would have done this.

    I'd challenge that notion. The music vid for "Wazupwitu" (w/ Michael Jackson) nearly hit an all-time low for "Mr. Fuck You Man." Forget the tranny. THAT was embarrasing ish, mang. Now if you hooked up THAT vid, we're talking Apocalypse.

    Awesome read, per usual.

  • February 24, 2006 8:28 PM
  • Shiesty says...
  • "...nigga might have enough to take his kids to Jack-in-the-Box today. You know they got the best cheesecake!"

    Hilarious. He took that from that old Ras Kass skit.

  • February 27, 2006 4:22 PM
  • Ron Mexico says...
  • 5 points, Sheisty!

    Soul On Ice, baby!

    Bitch said she wanted a shake!

    A STEAK?!?!?!

    No, a SHAKE!

    Oh.

  • February 27, 2006 5:20 PM
  • Spectacular from Pretty Ricky says...
  • Yo this video was the shit son!

    Got me over here all sweaty and shit!

    Hammer knows how to work that thang.

    Fuck Mase me and my brothers are about to do a remake of this video.

    You know our mankinis are gonna be diamond studded tho!

  • March 2, 2006 12:51 PM
  • lchrees says...
  • Hello guys -

    I think God had a good plan for him. The Bible says that God is able to work ANYTHING for our good. Yes, God wanted Hammer to know him. And today, I hope and pray that the perfect plan of God (not people's plan) for Hammer comes to pass. God bless you.

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  • i don't care what anybody says. It takes big nuts to get in a speedo and dance around and STILL look good as hell. and i believe he did have big nuts by the bulge...damn, imagine 50 cent in one of those...haha

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