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Flavor of Love: Rock Dem Two-by-Twooooo!

Posted on February 21, 2006 12:00 PM

Flavor Flav was definitely wearing the horns in this episode.

goldie.jpg

This week’s adventures of “The Luckiest Man in the World” find his attentions divided, then divided again. It’s like osmosis, well... more like os-ho-sis. The 4 remaining contestants are divided and conquered as Flavor Flav takes these broads (who obviously never been nowhere before) to a couple of hotels and spas and shit. You know, general crackdealer-to-wifey compensation interaction.

*Crocodile Hunter/lame Aussie voice* Let's 'ave a look now, mates!

As the news is broken to them by their literacy sponsor, Pumkin, Flavor selects his cane for the day. So wait he has a case for his canes? Amazing. I take it he also has a case for his ‘caine in the master bedroom. That shit better be locked as long as Pumkin is in the house. VH1 won’t be taking kindly to the excess coke costs. They’ll let you spill Korbel on Persian rugs, but they’ll be damned if all the white gets sniffed up before the season ends. (Can’t take out an insurance plan on the white stuff, you know.)

Flavor picked up Pumkin and Hoopz looking like Cam’ron in 20 years. He got the opposite of what Michael Jackson got.

One thing I have observed as the show has gone on… there is entirely too much saliva sharing. New York shouldn’t be worried about Hoopz being a lesbian. If CB4 kisses Flavor, she is a lesbian as well.

So yeah… These ignorant ass broads don’t know what Yoga is. When they had her doin the “downward dog” Hoopz knew exactly what was up though. Between yoga and the mud body paint session this was a 3-way romp the likes of which Flavor hasn’t seen since the 1989 tour… Luckily this time he doesn’t have to tag-team a girl with Stab Master Arson. No "wobbly-H" for Flavor. The post-mud shower looked like it would have ended up with a sloppy BJ if Ellen Degeneres didn’t keep poppin her head in there to keep them moving.

What the hell happened to Big Rick’s suit?… and why does that nigga only speak slave talk? He looked like he just put massa's meal plate down and just took off running until he got North... Uncle Ben suit on and everything.

Quick note about the pool scene: Them old white folks looked disgusted. I don’t know if it was because of the miscegenation going on or if they actually recognized that it was Flavor Flav in the pool with 2 skeezers. Either way, I’m sure they demanded a pool cleaning.

After dinner Flavor excuses himself and Pumkin after reading P. Sididdy's love letter while Hoopz was taking a dump. I guess there was enough from the letter, sloppy blowjob, general freakiness and prior known history to merit taking Pumkin upsturrrrs for a little Concrete Jungle Fever. Hmmm…. It’s as if he KNEW she would smash on reality television or something.

After sliding one off into the Pumkinator, Flavor sends these girls back to the plantation and meets up with his next 2 pieces of KFC at another location. That’s the player way (Or, the “plair” way… as Too $hort would say).

Sidebar: Doesn’t CB4 act like an older Jewish woman trapped in a young black transvestite’s body? This broad is somewhere between RuPaul and Fran Drescher, I’d say.

Did Flavor have bacon in his mouth this episode or something? Why was Goldie all up in there like she was bobbing for fatback?

New York sure had plenty to say about her certainty to defeat Goldie in this one-on-one edition of Extreme Hoin’ Challenge. However, she and her 2-sizes-2-small dress couldn’t even get out of the gate. Once Goldie smelled the swine, it was over. I damn near fell off the couch when Flavor said “You look like you could feed me!” to Goldie.

Suprisingly enough, Goldie is chosen for the one-on-one with Foofy. I don’t know how far they get, but it’s all enough to crush New York’s impregnable defense. No, that wasn’t a reference to her inability to conceive a child… because she’s a man.

As I watch her unload her insecurities, I have to wonder… Why are CB4’s eyes so wide open this week? She must have skipped the pre-game blunt. Speaking of which, I am convinced Flavor and his coon smoke a bomb in that room where they pretend to decide who is going home.

I was highly intrigued by the 3-way lesbian sandwich that went on in the bedroom when Goldie came back with her war stories about spending the night with Flavor. There was something ultra-suspicious about that. VH1 might be leaving out some important shit!

Despite taking her back for a night in his lair, Goldie gets the boot. While I like her more than any of the other contestants, I do understand Flavor’s logic. She cool and all, but I don’t sense much attraction from either side. This ain't Flavor of Friendship. Plus, Flavor isn’t going to have a bacon egg and cheese sandwich for lunch every day, you know. I guess Jackée will have to find love elsewhere.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Bacon and egg sandwich… new fragrance from Karl Kani! 60% of the time… it works ALL the time! (Disclaimer: This guarantee only redeemable in the projects) ronnie_mexxx@yahoo.com

Also, join the new internet phenomenon that has become myspacing Ron Mexico.

Posted by Ron Mexico

Comments

  • skdamc says...
  • Yo! I thought Goldie was gonna put Flav's WHOLE head in her mouf. That shit reminded me of the scene in "CB4" when that chick was effin' M.C. Gusto on the balcony. Goldie was in TOTAL control. She acted like Flav had a pice of chitlin' between his teef and she just had to get it. I hope he wore a condom with Pumkin. She just has chlemydea wriiten all over her stank ass. At least Hoopz said (nod, wink) that she wouldn't sleep with Flav to advance. New York looks like the street walker version of the BRATZ dolls. I'm surprized one of those wild animals didn't charge the vehicle they were riding on from the stench that HAD to be emanating from those tight ass jeans. I guess this was one of those times the "bits of panther coochie" didn't work. I'm just waitin' for Big Rick to say, "Coffey, Rick Coffey, sounds the same but spelled dif'rent..."

  • February 21, 2006 12:42 PM
  • Shamar says...
  • This nigga Flav need to stop wasting his time and just pick hoopz man. This is redicious. Pumpkin some white slore on the plus side that he been shouldve got ass or head from at least all more the reason to kick her to the side. New York just has to go. That bitch be getting too emotional over everything. Every minute i see this bitch cryin in the mirror talkin shit when no one is there lol camt eve open her eyes fully and shit. Goldie i guess i could understand him cutting. She was a big girl but still wasnt that bad. lol i'd fuck her. but yeah she was on that friend shit but she throwin her tongue down flav's mouth dats his fault he aint put the moves on her and find wuts up when those camera's go off. But come on now i know all my fellaz are gonna rep hoopz man. I mean look at her shittt. She looking like a lil skinned Stacy Dash for real. lol i know yall niggaz see it. but yeah hoopz all the way for me. holla back

  • February 21, 2006 12:44 PM
  • beast says...
  • THE ONLY REASON ANY OF THEM WOMEN ON THAT SHOW IS BECAUSE FLAV GOT A LIL CASH COME ON MAN DO YOU REALLY THINK A CHICK THAT LOOKS AS GOOD AS HOOPZ WOULD DATE A NIGGA LIKE FLAV BE REAL I HOPE HE DONT PICK HER SHE LOOK TO GOOD FOR THAT NIGGA THE ONLY REASON NEW YORK STILL THERE IS BECAUSE OF HER BODY CAUSE CHICK DONT LOOK GOOD AND SHE TO MUCH IN TO HER SELF PUMPKIN THERE CAUSE SHE A WHITE GIRL AND IF ANY NIGGA HAD THEIR ONY REALITY TV SHOW THEY COULD GET HOOPZ ALL OF THEM GOLD DIGGERS I WOULD FUCK UM AND FUCK UM AGAIN THEN KICK THEY ASS TO THE CURVE.

  • February 21, 2006 1:01 PM
  • Blacks301 says...
  • Ok...this episode was funny...flav is smashing these chicks...i know i would of ...but to leave hoopz for pumpkin just to smash..its not worth it to me...hoopz is the baddest chick besides serious...i would of least smashed that before kicking her off...he better get it while he can...when the show is over and the winner is left with a KFC bucket and weekly trips to reb lobster...she will surely bounce out of that one...Ron please tell me the winner get a cash prize...that would let me know these women has some sense...CB4 is character but knows how to play the game...and flav likes that ...Did you see the previews for next week...CB4 goes gangsta and probably woops the shit out of pumpkin...that will be the one for the ages(maybe even surpassing chicken in the microwave-still a classic)...CB4 mother is no joke either....talking about you will never marry flav ...I see where CB4 gets the crazyness from...anyway goldie got the boot which was all in good..she was to good for the show anyway...its just big circus...full of freaks...

  • February 21, 2006 1:20 PM
  • Sin says...
  • Yo Flav look like that turd from SouthPark-"Hidee-Ho" And New York look like her breath stink.

  • February 21, 2006 1:28 PM
  • Ron Mexico says...
  • She most definitely get it from her mama... but i wanna save that conversation for next week.

  • February 21, 2006 1:32 PM
  • bigced says...
  • Ron Mex, man you be killin me dogg.

    "What the hell happened to Big Rick’s suit?… and why does that nigga only speak slave talk? He looked like he just put massa's meal plate down and just took off running until he got North... Uncle Ben suit on and everything."

    Too funny,but I was thinkin the same damn thang.

  • February 21, 2006 2:22 PM
  • HaterAid 007 says...
  • FLAVA FLAV MY NI99A.

    HOOPZ IZ WHAT'S UP NI99A

    YOU BLACK NI99A YOU!!

    NY IS A MAN !!

    TELL GRIFF AND CHUCK WHO MAKING THE $$ NOW SUCKA!!

    PIMP THEM HO'S FLAVA!!

  • February 21, 2006 2:49 PM
  • willyjsimmons says...
  • I don't wanna be the spoiler, but ya'll know NY and Pumpkin get into it next week?

    I can't speak on anything until next week.

    I can understand why Goldie got the boot, but NY would have gotten the axe 'just because'. That bitch is on some 'Fatal Attraction' shit. Flav might wake up one day and find someone has burned down all the Red Lobsters.

    (just as horrifying to flav as finding a rabbit boiling on the stove, ya dig)

    But next week, oh shit.

  • February 21, 2006 2:57 PM
  • the Mayor Dick Daley, ChiTown says...
  • that honkey brawd knew it was crunchtime, of course she'll slide him a note letting him know all the filthy things she was going to do with him. Did ya'll see the P.S. at the bottom of the note?

    -p.s. I know you still on that sh*t, and I got 5 rocks wit yo name on 'em!


    And damn, when NY came runnin up to meet Flav with them (fake) tittays bouncin everywhere, I couldn't help but to wanna bone! I hope you wrong dawg-- she CAN'T be a man!

    Can she?

    FLAAAVOR FLAAAAV!

  • February 21, 2006 3:14 PM
  • ICU says...
  • uhhhhhhhhh sorry to burst your bubble willy...but anyone who saw last sundays ep, saw the previews for next week and its clear that CB4 is gonna attempt to do a little wax-on-wax-off on pumpkin-super-head's white azz. CB4 CLEARLY needs to be bangin her head on a padded wall in shady oaks somewhere....i know hoopsz felt like cold grits when flav left her to sit....ALONE....dammit man!!! i woulda had to play that off somehow....as for Goldie....did you peep how CB4 played her to the left about the dress she chose...WTF....and she stood there and took the diss from MONKEY BONE!!!!
    next week is gonna be OFF THA HOOK
    ICU

  • February 21, 2006 3:28 PM
  • William Drayton says...
  • Whaz Up G's you know it's ya man Flav and next week New York getting the boot her time is up. But 4 the finals i can't tell u, but Hoopz and Pumpkin need to keep it real with ya man. Cause i need a girl to feel me, u feel me, cause if u don't feel me, how I'm goin feel, if I feel like you ain't feeling me, then I'm make you not feel good, you feel me. FLAVOR FLAV, YEA

  • February 21, 2006 3:54 PM
  • willyjsimmons says...
  • ICU:

    Do you know what this ? is????

    I asked a question, you know, cuz some people might have turned the channel and missed the clip because it was the last fuckin one and lasted about 3 seconds.

    It's a question mark, by the way.

  • February 21, 2006 4:08 PM
  • ICU says...
  • WILLY......do you know what PIPE DOWN is....you was akkin like you had some secret classified 411 or something.... calm down soldier....

  • February 21, 2006 4:20 PM
  • ashley says...
  • Another great blog by Ron Mexico. Reading your blogs are the highlight of my day man. Funny shit. I wanted either Goldie or Hoopz to win, but next week's episode is going to be crazy. Can't wait for that blog.

  • February 21, 2006 4:42 PM
  • EnglandRepresent says...
  • Nigga,

    you write too much and too often, best often you'll get all day !.

  • February 21, 2006 5:18 PM
  • willyjsimmons says...
  • ICU shutting the fuck up.

    akkin?

    Stop actin. Posure.

    That's french, bitch.

  • February 21, 2006 5:34 PM
  • k.ola says...
  • NY is pretty and she makes the show just wait until next week when she beats pumkin's ass.

  • February 21, 2006 6:10 PM
  • DIGGALO901 says...
  • YALL NEED 2 CHECK OUT HOOPS ON DIMEPIECE USA.COM. MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS A SOMETHING SERIOUS. IF I WERE FLAV, SHE WOULD BE THE ONE HAVING MY BABY...... REAL TALK!!!!!

    DIGGALO901

  • February 22, 2006 1:07 AM
  • 1THUG aka johnny barz killah says...
  • new yorkz got it goin on with that pointy azz top lip, i bet that shit would hook the rim of my dick's head every time she sucked me off...on the reals... new york be the best. punkins looks like she need some pumpkins in her bra, bitch tities was so small they didnt even blurr them out...they was like why bother.

    new york look like she mixed with baboon and arangatang, but that ok, she got the kabooze. and the jolly rancher suckin lips

  • February 22, 2006 12:08 PM
  • nessa says...
  • Is it me or do u think that Pumkin ass should have been out on the 1st show i mean she old, stupid, and a ho. i mean how dumb are u to not know what o. g. means and how dumb are u not 2 noe that u keep running ur mouth to a younger person escially NY that told u she was going to beat that ass b4. u know that when it comes to the finals of something and ppl that think they're going to go home they're just beat ur ass reguardless of wat the rules say

    Plus i seen that bitch on MTV trying to get a date( u noe tht show with the bus) i mean how bad is u that no 1 wants u except on tv.

  • February 22, 2006 3:01 PM
  • 1crooked_leta says...
  • williejsimmons:
    "I don't wanna be the spoiler, but ya'll know NY and Pumpkin get into it next week?"
    LOL! Get the F*ck outa here wit that!

    Ok, now back 2 da ranch......I cant believe Goldie let him hit that...EWW!You see how she was looking at his ass,like no you didn't Flav. She should have known better from when he hit Smiley ass and then let her go.
    Awl man, New Yuck is outa here wit that fightn shit..stupid ass. I still think he is gonna pick Pumkin over Hoopz, because 'Simple'is down for anything and Hoopz is not.

    P.S.
    Nessa: The 'bus' show is called Next.


  • February 22, 2006 5:41 PM
  • Jamelia Wright says...
  • ok Ahley im feeling you i wanted either hoopz or glodie to win too. and to whoever said that Ny needed to be in shady oaks somewhere i feel that too. Next week is going to be live i hope pumkpkin and hoopz jump NY's ass.

  • February 22, 2006 6:49 PM
  • Lowedwn says...
  • Man, this weeks episode was cool, but damn I seen the previews for next week and that shit looks crunk as hell. CB4 looks like she finally forgot her estrogen pills and flips the fuck out, all I seen was her laying hands on Pumkin and spazzing out, but that shit got me fiendin' for next week.

  • February 22, 2006 7:47 PM
  • Bird says...
  • NY is still my favorate and I don't care how much yall call her a man she would make all yall drop to yo knees. She got those feminine whiles that yall ain't even used to. All that said I am so glad she is finally going to beat somebody, anybody's ass like I been waiting for her to do. Also I guess all of yall are you because no one has mentioned that her moms is someone. I don't know her name, but she was on electric company or sesame street when I was growin up and I have seen her in several other shows. Ron will probably bring it up next week. Now I see why NY is so spoiled. Unlike the other hos, she comes from money.

  • February 22, 2006 8:24 PM
  • 1crooked_leta says...
  • YARN.............!

  • February 22, 2006 9:36 PM
  • str8frmJoburg says...
  • was that really you Ron Mexx who wrote this blog? Feels diff to th eblogs from the blogs from the previous weeks! Or maybe it's just me!

    kEEP IT UP ANYWAY MAN!

  • February 23, 2006 9:00 AM
  • Ron Mexico says...
  • Nah, mane... Cherry wrote the shit this week.

    Just playin.

  • February 23, 2006 9:51 AM
  • Whit Whit! says...
  • lmao silllly!

    I dont care too much for New York. She is a biotch. She might just win it. Pumkin a hoe. That girl suck, fuck and god knows what else to get to that skank ugly ass flavor flav. Is that really his house? Oh and that big guy who be following Flav is funnnnny. That nigga look silly as hell when he be giving that Kool-ade smile

  • February 23, 2006 1:03 PM
  • willyjsimmons says...
  • 1crooked_leta:

    You can say fuck on the blog, you fuck.

    EWWW!

  • February 23, 2006 3:58 PM
  • dkp says...
  • Ron

    I look forward to reading your spin on the action of the show. But really, do you think that he smashed Goldie?
    I think she got booted b/c she wouldn't let Flav tap dat ass. Recall him saying that she was on that "friendship" bit.

    We've all done it. We dis biches that faked on the give up da ass.

  • February 23, 2006 7:18 PM
  • Jay-Ruff says...
  • I was visitin Vegas A while back and I Saw That bitch Hoopz in Belagio I talked to her and shit said ''wassup'' and all that, LOL.
    I'm Tellin you mayn, She thick as hell.
    She looks Hella Fine in person, I dont know whata fucks wrong with them cameras mayn, LOL, AND Guess what? She wasent there with That Nigga Flav! She was with her Boyfriend. Or I Woulda Prolly fucked her already, I had a Suite and everythang,LOL. Dont believe all that Hype you see on TV mayn, Most of it is fake. Who-ever stays gets paid big money, and that nigga flav dont got no money, all that shit is bein paid for by VH1, flav just Fuckin enjoyin all the shit VH1 is providin.

  • February 24, 2006 2:48 AM
  • juswonderin says...
  • what videos was HOOPZ in? i kno she been in many, but can someone name a few?

  • February 25, 2006 1:40 AM
  • jodanese says...
  • allright-can a white chick give her perspective?LOL-I was soo mad when he cut Goldie-so what if she has some junk in her trunk?She is the only one being real...any woman who will fuck you on reality tv will do anyone and thats not the kind of chick who is gonna be around for the long haul-I loved goldie-shes the kind of chick i could hang out with.Pumkin is straight outta the trailer park and is only there because she is a blonde white chick who reminds Flav of The Beast Called Gita.Hoopz has a bi thing going but i like her and she is the only one who could cook good chicken.New York.....whoa dont get me started,she MIGHT be a man.She is just pure hateful and negative and i cant believe Flav is too dumb to realize how fake she is-cant wait to see the fight tomorrow!!!

  • February 25, 2006 5:27 PM
  • jodanese says...
  • furthermore,one more thing-Flav,do the right thing,be a man and support those kids dude-they need you-quit worrying about hooking up with gold digger-you are old enough to be their daddys

  • February 25, 2006 5:30 PM
  • lady pitbull says...
  • I wanna see the cat fight between CB4 and Brooke.If i was Brooke,i should turn around and punch da shit outta CB4 so bad.I know white chicks cant defense themselves with black girls maybe brooke can try.I wish Rain could beat da shit outta CB4 in da first place cuz all CB4 do is poppin shit and put her nose up in da air like other new york chicks do and she think is it but shes not and i didnt know she is a dude and no wonder she got that manly look and she look like dose transsexuals from the jerry springer show.flav is not homo and he need 2 touch between CB4's legs.

  • February 26, 2006 3:52 AM
  • 722 says...
  • uh why ya'll sayin that hoopz cud b bi i dont know am i missing something here can anyone tell me why they think shes a les or bi? i dont

  • February 26, 2006 6:04 PM
  • ken says...
  • Next season .. Flav, New York and her mom as a show? Its sad the Flav is 46 and trapped in that world, that New York wants to be a part of.. I love her drama.. I love hoopz but I know the deal on that!

  • February 27, 2006 12:01 PM
  • dj says...
  • When flav left hoopz in the ep' when he had a date with goldie and brooke i would had hit hoopz from the back

  • February 27, 2006 1:38 PM
  • unknown says...
  • dj you right i would have fucked hoopz from the back 2

  • February 27, 2006 1:43 PM
  • 543 says...
  • I cOULDa Sworn I saw "CB4"'s broke ass on the streets. That bitch is whack.

  • February 28, 2006 4:37 PM
  • DEP says...
  • HOOPZ is FIne as HELL !!!!!
    I will get with you!!!

  • March 1, 2006 7:24 PM
  • jae-b says...
  • whats good dawg dam this show is amazing, espacially the girls, like hoopz and newyork,they gotta cracking shit im wit what dude was saying Niki deserve better she don't need to be that ugly motha fucka.on the real, im that nigga for her no bullshit, on the G, I will give her good dick on my moma. holla back niki. will- meet soon holla at cha boy an millwaukee thats were im from babygirl,u fell me yup.

  • March 3, 2006 2:08 PM
  • MS. TASTY says...
  • I AM WITH BIRD....I THINK THAT NY, CAN BE EMOTIONAL, BUT SHE IS A WOMAN THAT IS CLAIMING HER MAN...THIS IS A REALITY COMPETITION SHOW RIGHT?...SHE DOWN FOR FLAV AND SHE DOES LOVE HIM I THINK.....SO I SAY GO NY!!! AND FOR THAT NASTY A$$ PUMKIN...NY NEEDS TO BEAT HER A$$!!!!! LAST BUT NOT LEAST HOOPZ IS SEXY BUT SHE DOES NOT WANT FLAV...LET IT GO!

  • March 3, 2006 5:40 PM
  • Khemicia says...
  • I think that Hoopz should win, but as we all know by now, CB4's mannish looking is probably gonna take the cake. Hoopz knew that if she really wanted hi, she could have him and put the shit n the bag, but she wasn't really trying to get too close to that nigga. Shit, I don't blame her. That nigga look like he came STRAIGHT out the crack house. I'm from Detroit, just like Hoopz, and we holding it down up here and hoping that she wins. Go Hoopz! Kick New York's manly ass for us!!!

  • March 4, 2006 8:15 PM
  • THE ILL PIMP says...
  • PICK HOOPZ. PERIOD.

  • March 5, 2006 2:06 PM
  • Lisa says...
  • oh my gosh, you guys are off the chain, sitting back reading all the comments, and I was cracking up with whoever said that NY is always in the mirror crying and talking trash when no one is around. But yall have to say NY does make the show. I watch it so I can laugh at all the trash NY is talking.....bithes..lol

  • March 5, 2006 8:43 PM
  • sasha says...
  • I want hoopz 2 win, yo!

  • March 6, 2006 8:55 PM
  • Nadia says...
  • man i think dat new york was a man under all dat hair and make-up. im glad dat hoopz won cause dat was my girl. she was also da badest bitch in da house to tell u da truth. goldi was also my girl she finally showed flav dat she loved him but it was to late. at the end of da show it was talk dat hoopz and and had gotten back together and get dis HAD SEX. if dats true,hoopz ...

  • March 13, 2006 11:33 AM
  • ORLANDOPRINCESS17 says...
  • FLAVOR FLAV SHOULD HAVE PICKED NEW YORK...CUZ I DONT THINK NEW YORK WOULD DUMP HIM LIKE HOOPZ DID

  • March 20, 2006 5:06 PM
  • Josh says...
  • think u fo picin my girl hoopz n hoopz if u didnt get pick i would of took u

  • March 29, 2006 7:10 PM
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  • I live at 71067 Commonwealth in Seattle. Been up here before?

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