February 2006 Archives

Since Flavor Flav has already exposed these girls to mama turtle, he now gets to surprise the remaining girls by informing them that he will meet where his three finalists come from. I must say, much like Flavor's parental revelation, the similarities here are startling. Some of these girls came from a long lineage of hoes. Others are the descendants of crazy bitches. Oh, yeah... and some of them like to spit on people... and not in a sexy way.

Aiight, I am back. First off, apologies for the missing blog last week. I wasn’t sure with most cats having President’s Day off if anyone would be reading. Besides, I had to go pay homage to the dead presidents at Macy’s. You know they always have the fresh linens on sale during President’s Day weekend. Why, I don’t know.

Anywho, last week’s “Boondocks” episode, titled “Riley Wuz Here,” was cool. It didn’t have me rushing to the laptop. But it had its moments. The Bob Ross references were funny, if not a little creepy. I even dug the sentimental ending. (For those of you who didn’t get it, the image Riley painted was his parents’ wedding photo. Part of the premise of the show/cartoon is that he and Huey’s parents passed so they now live with Grandpa.) That said, it was an aiight episode. Feel free to hit me up if you disagree.

You all know I’m hard on Kanye West’s self-righteous, my shit looks and smells like a lilac forest ass. This time the self-proclaimed Savior of Hip-Hop has truly outdone himself. “Touch The Sky” [watch above] is a pretty damn good video. In quite possibly his best video to date, Evel Kanyevel bedazzles the masses with his stunts, stunts and Concrete Jungle Fever formerly deemed too taboo for 1970s NBC.

Heh, that shit still stands for Niggas Better Coon.

In Memoriam: Stanley Kirk Burrell

What can I say about this video that hasn’t already been said about Ashlee Simpson? There’s a reason why you can’t find this video anywhere. The original "Pumps And A Bump" video [watch above] is about the most shameful shit I’ve ever seen. I’m surprised the former minister-in-training didn’t get his balls struck by lightning. Who would’ve thunk it… Hammer had an UnCut video before The Negro Channel thought to degrade our culture with such a program? Blaze a 50 for our fallen hero today. In fact… roll one up and take what’s left to his widow and kids.

Shoutouts to my man Micah for the connect on video!

Awww, shit. That nigga Prince got a new video.

I don’t know if you saw this shit at 4am on MTV like I did, but wow… this nigga crazy. Black Sweat [watch it now] is actually quite tame in some ways (for a Prince video). He’s obviously trying to make good on his “no-smut” promise of a few years ago… but make no mistake, this nigga’s still out to lunch. One of the best that ever done did it returns with another video that makes you go “what the fuck?”

Flavor Flav was definitely wearing the horns in this episode.

This week’s adventures of “The Luckiest Man in the World” find his attentions divided, then divided again. It’s like osmosis, well... more like os-ho-sis. The 4 remaining contestants are divided and conquered as Flavor Flav takes these broads (who obviously never been nowhere before) to a couple of hotels and spas and shit. You know, general crackdealer-to-wifey compensation interaction.

*Crocodile Hunter/lame Aussie voice* Let's 'ave a look now, mates!

A little white ago I had the pleasure of conversing with one Cristal Steverson, (not like the champagne) better known to you all as Serious on Flavor of Love. The sweet, down-to-earth Detroit native (currently residing in Atlanta) took the time out with Ronnie Mexxx to discuss life, love, media, entertainment and Flavor.

Don’t worry, people… I asked the good questions. Once again, we should have audio for this one sometime soon as well.

After a pretty heavy and pensive week on Talkin' Videos, I'm glad to leave you this weekend with some good old fashioned clownery. Talk about "niggas we didn't get to in 2005," LL Cool J and Jennifer Lopez finally make their way to Daddy Mexico's house. For their latest collaborative effort "Control Myself," [watch above] I'm glad to be able to serve up a nice steaming plate of hate and beans.

LL... Mama called. She told me to knock you the fuck out.

Put your Ls up. Take it how you wanna.

Yesterday marked the 7th anniversary of the slaying of Harlem's lyrical champion. To the memory of Lamont Coleman we dedicate this week's edition of Throwback Thursday. Big L burst his way onto Rap City countdowns and east coast radio stations with the ever-infectious remix of MVP, the lead-single to his debut album Lifestylez ov da Poor & Dangerous.

When you see this sign... *raises "L" hand gesture into the air* This don't mean motherfuckin LL Cool J, nigga! GET EM UP!!!

"George Bush doesn’t care about Black people, HA!"

Yeah, Juvie said it! And what, nigga?! Today’s video is a pretty intense one from Mr. “Off Top” himself, Juvenile. The visual anthem “Get Ya Hustle On/What’s Happenin’?” [win hi|win med|win lo|4 tha real playaz] is sure to serve as the official response of the streets. The video was shot on location in the currently decimated Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans.

Without further [government] procrastination, it’s Reality Check time, bitches!

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!

Nothing says “Daddy loves his girls” quite like a good, old-fashioned polygraph test. No, that’s not the one that turns pink if you’re pregnant. It’s a lie-detector, bitches. As advertised, this week’s episode gets right the fuck down to business. Brigitte Nielsen pays what’s left of the Snatchbox 20 a visit. Under the direct instruction of Foofy Foofy himself she’ll strap it on and stick it to these girls in a very special way.

I also have a VERY special Valentine's Day message/massacre to deliver at the end of today's blog. You don't want to miss that shit, I promise!

Ain't no love... in the heart of the cit-tayyyy!

A Black man’s work is never done… Sorry about the delay in putting up today’s entry, folks. A brother is still trying to dig out from the “Blizzard of ’06.” Anywho, I gotta say I was a little disappointed in last night’s episode. I mean there were definitely some “what did he say/rewind the dvr” moments, but for the most part, I have to say last night’s episode was pretty uneventful.

What pisses me off is that it had so much potential. The set-up was perfect. You had Ed Wuncler III (Charlie Murphy) and Gin Rummy (Samuel L. Jackson) back at it again (BTW, did anyone notice the homage to Snatch at the beginning or was it me?), a plot to kidnap Oprah and an ill sibling rivalry fight a la “Street Fighter” between Huey and Riley. So what went wrong? I’m not quite sure but I have a few ideas.

Damn. It's like Blue Collar TV for the rap world. Larry the Cable Guy... I mean, Bubba Sparxxx joins forces with fellow Georgians the Ying Yang Twinz and Mr. Collipark for yet another Southern ass-shaking anthem. At least this time around the video holds more entertainment value than just "MOVE THEM BUTTCHEEKS!!!"

Shouts to my girl Jenny in Philly for the look on this one. I hope you got your case handy!

For this week’s edition of Throwback Thursday we’re going international, seen?

One of my all-time favorite videos, and one I think you’ll enjoy as well is Roots Manuva’s “Witness.” [watch it now] The shit’s pretty clever and a lot of us can relate to how Roots is feeling. I’m sure we’ve all got shit we wish we could turn back the hands of time and correct… especially in grade school. There are at least 5 little niggas I knocked out that I wish I hadn’t. Pouring milk on a nigga shouldn't equate to a broken nose... at least not when you're 8. I formally apologize, Thomas. I also wish I could go back and show Iesha that I really am that shit! Oh, nevermind. She knows now. High school was pretty good to me.

EnglandRepresent, this Bud's for you, buddy. Now have a nice warm glass of shut the fuck up.

He's sprung. He's falling for skrippers. He's running around with Mike Jones like it's cool to be seen in public with him. Who else could we be talking about beside the Gummi Bear king himself, T-Pain AKA Pizzle. Today we discuss his newest video "I'm In Luve With A Stripper," [watch above] which features far more embarrassing moments than "I'm Sprung" does. I'm really glad he made this shit. Speaking of shit, nigga done gone ahead and re-highlighted the shitlocks.

OKAYYYY! HE RELOOOADED!

For your greasy-ass information and listening pleasure this week Ronaldo Horacio got to chat a for a spell with Thela Brown, better known as “Rain” on Flavor of Love. You may know her even better still as the girl voted “most likely to shank a bitch.”

The highly-animated Brown proved nothing short of riotous as we discussed television, love, beef and La Vida Flavor.

For the weekend, let's get into this new shit from Mary J... umm... sorry, Keyshia Cole.

Seriously, who the hell is this chick to be havin 4 singles? From the moment I saw "Love" [watch above] I knew we had a hood classic on our hands. The youngsters are definitely gonna pump this one. The video, starring Tyrese and his no-longer-singin ass, displays how true love... and having 4 singles out for no damn reason can get you out of some serious jams.

Lesson(s) of the Day: It's good to be a celebrity... even a B-lister. It's also good to be a celebrity's significant other. Ask my homegirls on Flavor of Love.

(Serious Warning: Parental Advisory. This blog features some sexually explicit content. This is the DERRRTY version, Derrty!)

This blog is NOT work-safe. It's not even home-safe if you don't live alone with drapes and headphones. The shit's just not safe, okay! This is some indubitable, unimpeachable filthy shit. There's a lot of hamhock and roast beef curtain in this here jawn.

Nelly and his band of merry niggas live out their strip club/porn fantasies in 2003's "Tip Drill." [watch above] This throwback is actually thrown. I'm not a fan of such objectification of women, but since it's been requested for so long, we gotta talk about it.

I can’t believe there was even a Part 1 to this shit. WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOOOOFFF!!!

The man who made the game freeze and took home about 12 Mexican Award nominations is back with the remix to his crew/label anthem “Unfadable Part 2.” [watch it now] Obviously the man is looking for some US marketing and product placement, so let me help the man out.

CHG the Unfadable Negro: Destroying European Hip-Hop one pathetic, slurred, ignorant, stereotypical verse at a time.