TALKIN' VIDEOS
the latest HATE on Hip-Hop TV, Movies and Music Videos
Talkin' Videos 2005 Awards - Episode III: Revenge of the Mexican
Posted on January 27, 2006 10:00 AM
We'll return to the Mexican Awards after this word from our sponsor...
"Ummm... We're sorry, I guess?
Dear Black people,
We'd like to apologize for the manner in which our network has represented you and your culture in recent years. We'd like to inform you that the station is now under new management, that scamp Robert Johnson is out the door, and we have just signed something that we like to call the Emancipation Proclamation. We hope you enjoy your newfound benefits in the best of health.
Please continue to 'move them buttcheeks!'
Sincerely,
The NEW White Folks In Charge"
...okay, let's bring this shit home, bitches.
Here are some behind-the-scenes Mexicans whose nominations nor presentations did we care to show you:
Mr. Ed Award: Charlie Wilson - "Charlie, Last Name Wilson" | Poser Mobile Award: Empire ISIS - "What Ya Say About Dat?" | Midget/Little Person of the Year - Jermaine Dupri - "Oh I Think They Like Me"/"Gotta Getcha"
...and now for the Antonio Fargas AKA "Huggy Bear" Award for Worst Dressed in a video:
Some people wake up in the morning and make some really fucked up decisions at the closet. Other have a stylist who makes fucked up decisions for them. Still, some people both wake up in the morning, talk to their stylist before their television appearance or film shoot and agree to shit for which they should be horse-tied. This year's award was wrestled from the hands of Jamaicans and old-school niggas by a decision on a single article of clothing. Rev. Run's call to go with the Black Doctor Strange cape in his video for "Mind On The Road" earns him this distinction over Jaz, Jiggaman AND Beenie Man's royal duds. Congrats, Run. I bet even them special children of his had to laugh at that video... Count Chocula ass nigga!
Other nominees: Jaz-O feat. Jay-Z - "Originators" | Beenie Man - "King of the Dancehall" | Cowboy Troy - "I Play Chicken..." | Charlie Wilson - "Charlie, Last Name Wilson"
We move right along to the Golden Rock/GUTS Aggro Crag Award for Best Crackhead
Funny... I was just watching an old episode of The Chris Rock Show last night on DVR. The musical guest was Whitney Houston's pimp, Bobby Brown. I couldn't believe what I was watching. My little sister was over and asked me if the display was recent. I told her, unfortunately the performance appeared to be from 1997, and he already looked a solid 5 years into a vicious crack habit. Approximately 5 years later, the troubled New Edition star re-emerged with Ja Rule on a hot track called "Thuggin Love." No, wait... it was called "Thug Lovin'," sorry. The problem for Bobby, well... they shot a video and let him cut loose, just like he did on Chris Rock.
Other nominees: B.G. - "Where Dey At?" | Ying Yang Twins - "Wait (The Whisper Song)" | Mariah Carey - "Shake It Off"
We'll be right back after another word from yet another sponsor:
Sprint (formerly known to you as Sprint PCS) understands its role in the community as the only company that would give cell phones to black people with terrible credit. Not only did we experience tremendous financial gain as a result of this untapped market, but we also made a shitload of money as a result of your inevitable broken contracts. Late fees alone gave us enough money to afford television commercials that didn't include Murphy Brown. We had made it to the top, and it was beautiful.
It's been an ugly plummet for us, as eventually the other major retailers adopted our philosophy of giving colored people cell phones on the premise of receiving deposits in upwards of $500 dollars. We've since had to merge with shitty-ass Nextel. While the walkie-talkies are cool, it's a shame we are associated with the worst company ever to happen to ever. This is why we are pleased to announce that calls to all chicken spots and select government agencies/services will be free at all times. Perhaps some of you wouldn't have left to Verizon or to that infernal T-Mobile with those damned Sidekicks if you knew that you could call Kennedy Fried Chicken or "the welfare people" for free at any time with any plan.
Come on into our main location for Sign-up Day! Sure, the lines will be long and we'll be taking unnecessary personal information to sell to telemarketers and spam sites, but we will have watermelon slices and grape drink for your refreshment and Debarge will be playing their 2 hit records alternately all day long. You can enjoy a relaxing Electric Slide without even having to get out of line.
Sincerely,
The Free-and-Flexible peoples at Sprint
Well... Sounds like Ron Mexico is dropping another $250 deposit and going back to that Sprint PCS shit.
The next Mexican is the 1980s Michael Jackson award for Undisputed Artist(s) of the Year:
We don't even need a long ass explanation for this one. In addition to his videos and cameo appearances, this nigga's name has come up in over 75% of topics in 2005... Thanks mostly to shakeem. Even still, to give this award to anyone else would be criminal. No jokes, no games. Artist of the Year is 50 Cent hands down. I'm going to show you the nominees as well, only because I have to BUT REMEMBER IT'S G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G UNIT ALL DAY EVERY DAY FOREVER UNTIL THE UNIVERSE EXPLODE, YOU HATIN ASS NIGGAS!!! YOU HATIN CUZ WE GOT ALL THE MONEY! AINT NO MORE MONEY FOR NOBODY! EVEN THE WHITE EXECUTIVES THAT PARADE US AROUND!!! STOP HATIN!!! HATAZ!!!!
Other nominees: Pretty Ricky | Bow Wow | Juelz Santana | 50 Cent | G-Unit | ...and 50 Cent
accepting the award for 50 Cent is shakeem of G-Unit Internet.
You've been waiting for it all week, niggas. Here it is. The Silky Johnson Award for Filthiest Hate:
Ron Mexico has shit on some of the best. However, taking the top honors this year is an oft-nominated small wonder of music video history. CHG The Unfadable Negro's Euro hood-banger "Tha Game Will Freeze" is special not because it was my best shitting, but because the hit was truly carried out by you... the reader. We really should call this one the Viewer's Choice Award. For all I would have liked to say, I think I took it easy on the kid. You niggas and bitches didn't, and it was wonderful. I am so proud of you guys! Even the worst videos (*cough cough* Gucci Mane) receive support or defense of SOME kind. This CHG dude was universally shit on... even by people reading from Belgium. That's filthy, people. Salute yourselves! You guys do a wonderful job night-in and night-out.
Other nominees: 50 Cent - "Just A Little Bit" | Pretty Ricky - "Grind With Me" | Gucci Mane feat. Young Jeezy - "So Icy" | Cowboy Troy... you know what's up!
CHG The Unfadable Negro is in Belgium, probably shooting another video with his mom's camcorder. Accepting the award for that sorry excuse for a nigga is political activist/negro revolutionary/spam posting ass nigga stopusingthewordnigga.
"I did NOT accept that award. That was NOT me accepting that award. You all are funny, using my name like that. I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I DID NOT ACCEPT THAT AWARD FOR THAT NIGGA... oops." - stopusingthewordnigga
At long last we have come to our final Mexican. The border patrol has clamped down on what we're doing backstage and it's also time to get the fuck out of here for the weekend.
Without further delay, we present to you the Michael Jackson "Thriller" Award for Best Video:
Of all the videos we've covered this year, none provided more gripping imagery and visual social commentary than Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley's "Welcome to Jamrock." I'm from there, but I haven't lived there since a small child. I've always known what was up, but this shit was well put-together. Nuff respect again to Jr. Gong. Big up all JA massive a next time! My selector, reeeeeeeewinnnnnnd!
P.S.: Go find that track with Jr. Gong and a rejuvinated Bounty Killer, fresh off the coon wagon.
Other nominees: Will Smith - "Party Starter" | Dizzee Rascal - "Dreams" | Missy Elliott feat. Fatman Scoop & Ciara - "Lose Control" | Jamiroquai - "Feels Just Like It Should" | R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet" (all of them, I guess... that's what you wanted, right Kells?)
That's it for our show! Thank you all for a 2005 to remember. There's plenty more in store for 2006. I can't even begin to talk about it. On behalf of our winners, nominees, presenters, recipients and sponsors I wish you all a wonderful 2006... and fuck your couch, nigga!
Questions? Comments? Requests? I'm Ron Mexxx... but you can call me Daddy instead! ronnie_mexxx@yahoo.com
Comments
Ron- I know we aren't allowed to give Mexicans out, but you deserve The Mariah Carey Award for: Best Overall Performance of 2005, which goes to:
Your review of Gucci Mane ft. Young Jeezy in "So Icy"!!! Congratulations for hooking me on this blog like it's filled with crack! Best line- in reference to why no one was in the pool that they were standing around:
"2. Jeezy the Snowman shitted in the pool again"
Congratulations and we are looking forward to next year!!!
Ron, you always put out the best shit dog. Keep doin' it.
fuck your couch.....lol...fuck your couch...They should of never gave you niggas money...
THis was very amusing... I think next year your should have a nominee blog and let the bloggers vote on each catagory....or just a have bloggers choice award....You cool people Ron Mexico...keep doing ya thing
UNITY!!!!! I wish i had more fingers so i can give them tiddies 4 thumbs down....lol
Ronny Mexx:
LOL,LOL,LOL,LOL,LOL, LMAO!
"Midget/Little Person of the year : Jermaine Dupree
"stopusinthewordnigga" graciously NOT accepting the award for CHG for Silky Johnson award? LMAO!!
Silky Johnson: Ciara wears draws with dickholes in 'em and Jermaine Dupri is so short he gotta put a cuff in his boxers......
stopusingthewordnigga's computer has been infected with a virus. Therefore he asked me if I could be generous enough to let him go under my name...cuz he's my nigga...
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN THIS COMMENT WAS NOT MADE BY ME!!!
Very funny Ron Mexico for using my name just to get a few laughs. AS EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THE 'REAL' STOPUSINGTHEWORDNIGGA WOULDNEVERUSETHEWORDNIGGA SPECIALLYREFERRINGTOANOTHERBROTHER IWOULDNTLIKETOBECALLEDANIGGA would you? " -the real stopusingthewordnigga
Calling out stopusinthewordnigga........
priceless.
Good job Ron.
I have to say this to shakeem:
GET OFF G-UNIT'S DICKS
P.S. FUCK G-UNIT
ron you have raised the bar with this one.an instant classic.
lmaof @ gunit internet
Finally somebody's got it right and put The GAME in his rightful category as one of the best, keep em coming. BLACKWALLSTREET baby!
Ron, I didnt know you have a little sister and shit. That's crazy she must be like 12 and shit rite? That cool tho. Congratulations!
wanna stop by the crib? just give a nigga a call.
P.S: Bring the FAMILY
Ron Meezey,
You did it again. Everyone's respective award was well deserved.
Keep doin it.
Note to Shakeem...
G-G-G-G-Get tha f@*! outta here!
RON MEXICO YOU ARE THE MAN!!!! I LUV YOU POPPY!!!! FUNNY SHIT!!!!ALWAYS
Mr. Mexico,
This was a hell of a first award show.
I would like to thank you and SOHH.com for giving those who have so much hate, piss and vinegar in their blood someplace to share their opinions. I expect nothing but great things from the Talking Videos fam for the new year. And hopefully some new awards for the next show.
Now where is the official award show after party?
CBW,
I've rented out Amy Ruth's in Harlem. Chicken, Waffles & Hennessy XO for everyone tomorrow evening from 4pm - 4am. Come and get me!
Well... next awards what I'd like to do different is certainly designate an academy of readers who will review the categories, elect nominees and help decide who wins what.
Thanks again to everyone who reads this shit and makes it possible. I don't wanna name names because I'll forget someone and it'll be wack, but you guys know who you are... The CBWs, the Stylezz', the G-Offs, Darth Detox', big squids, Gucci Mane's Older Brother Big Guccis, lil vato and his many personalities, JML5150s, DJ Nahledges etc...
I love you all. This doesn't happen without y'all.
Special thanks to Hashim for being the best editor a nigga could ask for... even though I come on your blog to disagree ususally. You hook a nigga up, fa sho.
I heard the after party was in the back of the Taco Bell down the street.
No, that's the Brick Tamland "pants party." I told your mama not to tell nobody about that, dammit! (jokes)
Fuck BWS.. Fuck Game...
"Disloyal/ungrateful asshole of the Year"
Mr. Mexxx
Thanks for giving CHAHLAYYYYY the award....I couldn't sit here and know that he didn't win a damn thing. And thanks for the love, I'm glad to share my "professional observations" (my way of saying hate) with the world.
I'd also like to thank all the stupid girls who come on here defending these wack ass people with their terrible english. You made it so that people thought I was a guy and actually gave me a chance and read what I had to say, so for that I thank you.
2 Cheers for Ron!
Hate-Hate-Hooray! Hate-Hate-Hooray!
Something actually funny on this damned site! It's about time. I'm usually beefing with ignorant ass bastards on here like timothy o'reilly (garbage). Nice change! I especially like the part about BET (what's cracking jigabooz?).
-Dre
-Dope article
Man I LOVE THIS FUCKING BLOGG!
Andrea Ramone: I saw that!
Why you gotta mention my name? Im all drunk just came back from da hottest bar in all of Wyoming with mad shorties and you bitch gotta start with a nigga???
This site been hot from day one, what r u talking about? HATER!
P.S: Congrats. Kobe for scoring 62 pts. in 3 quarters (not sure but that shit most be a record in history)
P.S.S: Theres a new reality show on BET thats truly poppin out here, its called Beef, its on BET(Black Entrtainment Television) which is funny cuz Ron was just talking about it.... However, stay safe brothas'
DAT MATHAFUCKER ROM MEX BETTER NOT USE MY NAME FOR A BLOG. WHY U GONN MAKE FUN OF SHAKEEM FOR TALKIN' NICE ABOUT G-UNIT.LOOK I AINT BIG FAN OF 50 BUT TALKIN' SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DEFEND G-UNIT IS FUCKIN' IGNORANT RON MEX.I LIKE G-UNIT CUZ OF THEIR G-UNIT FOUNDATION.IF U HATE G-UNIT IT DOESN'T MEAN U HAVE TO TALK SHIT TO SOMEONE WHO SAYS G-UNIT IS BETTER.
HEY YO RON MEX I SEE U PEEPIN' DA THREAD GO AHEARD SPURK SOM RAGE, PUSH ME THEY CALL U ILLEGAL FURRY CUZ YOUR'RE MATHAFUCKER.FUCK ANYONE WHO TALK SHIT AT ME.
HA! Bobby Brown jokes are the BEST!!! When you said "If you listen closely, you can actually HEAR the crack gurgling in his throat!" that changed my life. I remember you taking a shot at him in the B5 video for "You got me"
And I thank you, Ron. I recall searching on the internet to find the whereabouts of one "G.Dep" and I came across this site...G-Unit bashing, Ugly Luther/Big Bow Wow/Touchdown King bashing have all been positve impacts of my life. I'm just glad to be here.
"The Most Non-Gangsta Nigga In An Actual Gang" Award goes to...DRUMROLL...The Game, for his execution of cutting off the people who wrote his paychecks and rhymes, and for also being such a faggot that even his G-status brother stopped co-signing him. He's not available to receive his award right now because he's too busy giving Dr.Dre oral pleasure behind 50 Cent's house before he plots to steal another basketball rim (such a gangster act, right, people?) from 50's basketball court. So numerous unnamed representatives from the Pink...I mean, Black Wall Street have come to accept the award.
On some real shit, though, how can you look at that nigga when it's been proven that"
1. He's a fraud...he was never jumped into the Blood gang, and he's been repping his older brother's blocks and rapping about his brother's life in those rhymes...Game never caught a case in his life. Check his record...cleaner than a white woman's house on Sunday in the 50s
2. He doesn't write all of his rhymes, which automatically makes me lose respect for him (same goes for that weasel-lookin muthafucka, Lil' Wayne...you better give Gillie Da Kid more money for writin that shit for you...he wrote "The Carter" and "The Carter II", ya best 2 albums...then you got the nerve to say that you're "the best rapper alive since the best rapper retired"...unless you give me an album completely written by yourself and Rakim officially retires, shut the fuck up), since I'm a rapper who writes all of his lyrics.
3. This nigga was a stripper! Plus he was on "Change of Heart" with a tongue ring and blonde streaks in his hair! Man, come on...this nigga was on "Beef III" talkin about he was a pimp cuz he was on "Change of Heart" with 2 girls...NIGGA, THAT'S THE FUCKING RULE OF THE GAME! YOU COME WITH YOUR GIRL, GO ON A DATE WITH A DIFFERENT GIRL, AND ANOTHER DUDE GOES ON A DATE WITH YOUR GIRL! And add to that, he not only didn't choose the girl that he went out with, but he also got dumped by his girl...yeah, you're a pimp, Jayceon (was your mom on crack when she spelled your name like that?)
50's new single off of the third quarter 2006 release: 50 cent- Boss time.(3'rd album)
Where's my G-unit girls?:
(1'st verse)
Where my G unit girls at?/
Pretty Smile, Ass fat/
I want to kiss you, bitch you better not rat./
What if I gave you the magic stick would you like that?/ I just to know if you is where I'm at/ Like that./ I run with killas,/ Yayo,Buck, Loc and Banks you know we some Gorrilas,/ G Unit the gang whats up my niggers./ You see this Blue lambo I'm in? I just bought spinners./ when you see me you better show me some love girl./ I just want you to know that I'm here to fuck girl./ First I took you to the candy shop and it was on./ when I put my dick in I heard you go UNNNNNNHHHHHHHHH.
(chorus)
(singing) " I need a G Unit Girl./ For me./ Forrrrr Meeeeee/ I need a G unit girl./ I'm so horny./ Horrrnnnnnneeeeeeee.
(singing) " I need a G Unit Girl./ For me./ Forrrrr Meeeeee/ I need a G unit girl./ I'm so horny./ Horrrnnnnnneeeeeeee.GUNIT!!!
When I see you, I wanna see your freaky side./ When I touch you, It remind of my ride./ I'm 50 girl, you know I'm a boss./ And plus girl, I done paid the cost./ It's hard being the best to ever do this./ Then again it's easy because I'm so sick./ Banks told me yesterday That yo booty big/ And Buck just told me youz a cutie shyyyttt./ It aint hard to see you wanna be with me/ You wanna be with me because Im a G/ And I want say that I want you/ Can I sleep with your Best friend too?
(chorus)
(singing) " I need a G Unit Girl./ For me./ Forrrrr Meeeeee/ I need a G unit girl./ I'm so horny./ Horrrnnnnnneeeeeeee.
(singing) " I need a G Unit Girl./ For me./ Forrrrr Meeeeee/ I need a G unit girl./ I'm so horny./ Horrrnnnnnneeeeeeee.GUNIT!!!
3rd verse:
I wanna see you so I hop in my car/ get a full tank off gas because you live far./ Matter fact bitch I'm rich so Meet me at the Bar/ And well drink Cristal, Ha Ha./ Don't you feel lucky to roll with a don?/ Get that weed girl I want to smoke on some Bomb/ with a ass like that I want to meet your mom, Don't be mad Bum ass niggaz I'm pimpin like Don Juan.
(chorus)
(singing) " I need a G Unit Girl./ For me./ Forrrrr Meeeeee/ I need a G unit girl./ I'm so horny./ Horrrnnnnnneeeeeeee.
(singing) " I need a G Unit Girl./ For me./ Forrrrr Meeeeee/ I need a G unit girl./ I'm so horny./ Horrrnnnnnneeeeeeee.GUNIT!!!
(singing) " I need a G Unit Girl./ For me./ Forrrrr Meeeeee/ I need a G unit girl./ I'm so horny./ Horrrnnnnnneeeeeeee.
(singing) " I need a G Unit Girl./ For me./ Forrrrr Meeeeee/ I need a G unit girl./ I'm so horny./ Horrrnnnnnneeeeeeee.GUNIT!!!
Go grab that STOP SNITCHING STOP LYING DVD AND MIXTAPE (AMAZON.COM/MIXTAPEKINGZ.COM) IT'S STRAIGHT GANGSTA
LMAO at The New 50 Cent Song. Sad part is he really rhymes that simple.
I think the fiddy cent song is kinda neat. Me personally, yeah I think I like it. :)
When's it coming out friend?
Ay, Mr Mexico when you gonna put that Roots Manuva - Witness video up? I know I keep buggin ya but you said you'd do it nigga so get postin.
And I ask, when are you gonna review the video of 50 taking Hav and P to Chuck E. Cheese for Prodigy's birthday?
Wait, you did, I'll read that 'Have a Party' blog and swalla back...
Excellent award show Mr. Mex, let's hope 06 is even greezier!
Suggested slogans for the 06 Awards:
Talkin Videos: Postive direction of Hate since 2005
or
Talkin Videos: Cheaper than punching someone in the face
Dirty Cash... See... Reason why I didn't wanna name names. I know I left yours out.
EnglandRepresent... I guess you didn't see when I kindly laid out the entire Talkin' Videos schedule and ETA for your request last time you harrassed me.
Keep it up... your video REALLY won't make it.
Chill, holmes.
In all fairness my good man, I been MIA lately, so it's all gravy...2006 however will mark my return to a potent mixture of hateful praise and straight clownin. Salute.
Just when you thought it was ova this nigguh Just WONT STOP!!!! CHG....just keeps goin........he just updated his site with more "unlistenable" garbage....
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