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Flavor of Love: Lady Luck's Diaphragm
Posted on January 31, 2006 12:00 PM
Ah! The kind of smile that could light a room up!
Since we’ve had such horrible luck challenging these girls’ intellect, talent and abilities, I guess he thought he’d challenge them at shit they had no control over and hope for better results. Being the genius and crack-spot pimp that he is, Huggy Bear, I mean Flavor, had his hoes lined up for a luck contest.
Taking your girls to a roulette wheel is like taking your retarded children to the shooting range. Hit or miss, it ain’t they fault.
Of course New York wins the competition of a game of chance. He has plenty of experience rolling dice to pass the time while slangin crack in the projects before the sex change. (Oh, the things that fast crack money can buy.) CB4 has a third eye… and a tucked dick. Seriously, someone had better tell Flavor he’s been kissin up with a man.
What the fuck kind of compliment do you give the winner at a fuckin roulette wheel? “That’s one LUCKY bitch!”
Before we get into the next “challenge”… everyone thank Goldie for bringing up Hottie’s weave. (pause for applause) When Hottie claimed those Hot Wheels tracks running angrily away from her scalp was her real hair she both insulted everyone’s intelligence and asserted her own insanity at the same time. Even “I don’t know what the Electric Slide is” Pumpkin was like “No… Right here… Where the extensions are!” Classic shit. Hottie… New York has been dubbed CB4. Your dumb ass will be known as Sloppy Joes. Anyone who has taken a solid look at her cleavage and vegetarian frame can tell why. Vegetarian my left nut. Ho must be fuckin with that pork-flavored broccoli.
Goldie look like a young Jackeé... who really ain’t nobody but Jackie Harry off 7th and Lenox in Harlem anyway. Hoodrat get on 227 for half a season and try to get all uppitty... Take that bourgie shit back to Sister Sister... with your Celebrity Fit Club ass. She on VH1 already. Flavor might as well dead all these hoochies-for-hire and fuck with that.
Flavor, behind a dreamcap and sunglasses, decides to give the girls 5 "tesses" for his 6 senses. I think these girls understood that they would more than likely be sniffed, groped and licked by Flavor Flav that day. For some strange reason I still have more episode to talk about.
Did anyone else catch Flavor Flav call Pumpkin a White Devil? In case you missed it, I'll recap it for you. During the smell competition he sniffed Pumpkin's entire body and told her she smelled like bacon. That's all kinds of fucked up. I sat there shaking. Laughing with tears streaming down my face. That shit's funny on so many levels.
Pumpkin pulls a trifecta by giving Flavor Flav one of her tit-tays to suck on in the tasting competition and by dancing like Justin Timberlake behind the skripper curtain. After she gets kicked off the show I'm sure we'll see her at 3 in the morning selling Pumpkin's Dance Grooves videos. There are also 3-1 odds that you'll see her on TV at 3am in the future because she'll be in someone's Negro Channel UnCut Video.
Speaking of the skripper curtain, other honorable mention goes to Hottie, whose silouhette looked like Alfred Hitchcock with a weave. While Hoopz put on an impressive display with the split, Smiley is the only one who understood what that damn curtain was for. She got butt-ass naked for her crack monster. Yes, dearie. Flavor rove you rong time.
Assclown of the Day goes to CB4 who after copying everyone's ideas and moves, bust her ass for the world to see while trying to striptease behind a curtain. It's for the best that it ended that way. We didn't have to deal with seeing the banana slip out while girrrrlfriend is poppin' it on a handstand. That'd fuck your night up. Seriously... She looks like Busta Rhymes with a wig on. How are you gonna bust your ass trying to erotic dance? That type of shit ain't gonna fly on the AND 1 Hoin' Challenge! If you fall, that means your ass gotta go home. I don't wanna see her no more. She don't deserve to be on the van with Hot Sauce.
After all the licking, groping and skrippin Flavor's arbitrary points system deems Smiley the winner. Good choice. I'd wax that ass in the hot tub, son. All jokes aside. If there ever were a time to pull the "smash" card, I'd think it would be then.
I've decided. CB4 and Sloppy Joes should settle their beef with a Celebrity Deathmatch. They make Red Oyster look like a genius. Unfortunately, in the middle of dangling their little Negro souls like tar-baby puppets, Oyster gets a call that her dad was in a car accident. This prompts her to take the day's elimination into her own hands and commit an honorable suicide for the sake her family. Had I known my daughter was a skuntbag snitch with a horrible tit-tay tattoo competing for the affections of Flavor Flav, I'd crash the whip my damn self and wonder how I raised a crackwhore.
As one of the 3 remaining contestants with 2 clocks remaining, she is made aware that one of the clocks is hers, and that either Sloppy Joes or MC Gusto was to be going home. Her plan had worked to perfection. It's a shame she couldn't stick around to see who caught the raw end of it first.
Good work, Oyster. We're gonna miss your snitch-ass crab-ass antics. Pour out a little green tea for Oyster as we prepare to watch Slop and CB finish this one off the old fashioned way!
Questions? Comments? Requests? Feel like a Manwich? ronnie_mexxx@yahoo.com
Comments
Damn Ron, U be cookin the shit outta these bitches on ya blog. That fukkin show is funny as hell tho. I cant stand New York, excuse me,Gusto, That bitch swear shew da shit but I bet flav was ready let her dumb ass go for bustin her shit while tryin to show then other broads up. Hottie is a fukkin dingbat,(peace to Archie Bunker. Any black person and apparently white hoes can all tell that bitch got a muthafukkin track in her head. That bitch is stupid. I love hoe they make they bell sound everytime she blinks her eyes. Anyway the rest of them hoes aint really that bad or important. Hoopz is still the finest broad Ive seen in my life. She just losing points bein on this dumb ass show. I started to notice Smiley a lil bit tho. She aint a dyme but she could be pushing a hard eight. Anyway, Now Id fukk all of them hoes, just to get famous,just like they doin to Flavb ass.
What's up with this blog? Ya'll cats at SOHH are running out of things to write about...
I could write more interesting stuff about my left nut.
ron love the comments and support them to the fulliest. the shit what has me the most is how oyster throw that model bitch under the bus( cant remember her). but most of the chicks is frontin. ya gat the daughter from the wwe that was sent home the first week. smiley was only trying to get a record deal( she is a hardcore rapper) and hoopz is also a model(still feelin her though. i cant wait to see what is everybody else's motive Goldie a (highschool education), hottie lipo and braintransplant) newyork (a little snip snip) with her butch ass.
"That type of shit ain't gonna fly on the AND 1 Hoin' Challenge! If you fall, that means your ass gotta go home. I don't wanna see her no more. She don't deserve to be on the van with Hot Sauce."
"...MC GUSTO"!!!!
hahahaha...you're killin me mexx!!!
Sup Ronnie Mexx:
Corection, Albert looks like Rah Digga not Busta , but Rah Digga looks like a man,too. Smiley could get it, but is it me, or did Flav look like Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo floatin' in the tub? He look like a effin' rasinette on steroids. Hoops definitly has porn star potential. That lyin' assed big eyed chick should be sent home just for havin' a weave so raggidy that a white chick could recognize it. I think it's a toss up between Smiley and Hoops with Smiley winning by a tit-tay!!
More like...
Ah! The kind of smile that could light a rock up!
I actually didnt watch the show except for the last 5mins. or so... and I was lmao@ the part when Oysters mom calls and shes like:
"OMG! your dad got into a horrible car accident. I mean, the car is like COMPLETELY TOTALLED! and we dont know how your dads doing"
Shouldnt you be more informed about the father than the car?
I kinda started thinking about 'the breaks', when the chinese family gets into a car accident, and the mom walks out the car with a calculator and dude comes out with the camera and shit, all they were missing was Oysters rat ass.
Aint it funny how all the fake bitches scream in joy when Goldie gets a clock? We all know shes going home, we just dont know when
TEXXXAS-The crackhead of the day is Flavor Flav' wait in line... maybe tomorrow we'll talk about you
Ron thank u man 4 making me laugh so hard the comment about CB4 looking like busta bus with a wig on..seeing the banana slip out poppin' it on a handstand... The pour the green tea 4 oyster....unbelievable u r the man. I love when u do blogs on flavs crackhead ass. Keep posting them up man. Ill look fwd 2 next week 1z.
LoL skdamc on the Mr.Hanky the xmas turd in the hottub. One, I was thinking the same thing when her friend called to tell her about her father she was just talking about the car getting wrecked up. I actually thought Oyster was going to go home this round but I was wrong. The part with new york and flav kissing grossed me the hell out. Her lips almost swallowed his face whole. Who the fuck would kiss him. Hoopz is tooo fine to be with him what is wrong with her. Smiley is ok looking but she was looking nice in her bikini. Ron I loved this blog keep up the good work. You had me rolling.
LMAO THIS ARTICLE IS CRAZY HAD ME LAUGHIN. YEAH HOTTIE IS MAD CRAZY. THAT IS A SPACY BITCH IF I EVER SEEN ONE. AND HER EYES YO. JUST LOOK AT EM. SHE BE STANDING THERE LOOKIN LIKE SHE GOT TWO TONED JAW BREAKERS IN HER DOME. BUT GOLDIE ID GET AT HER SHE GOTTA BIG OLE KUNTRY BOOTY SHAWTY. OTHER THAN THAT NICE ARTICLE HOMIE. -- D.C. NIGGGAAH !!
please ban me
u must really want attention
When Chappelle's new season starts you have to do each episode. Better yet you need to do his best episodes like " Mad Real World!" That's da shit.
Hoopz could get it quick. New York looks like she was pimped by Bishop Don Magic Juan RIGHT before the show started.
Everytime I look at that show I'm jus waitin for that he/she trick(N.Y.) to pull here peter out and say " I GOTCHA". Aint no way that bitch aint a man's man. All of these hoes can't hold a q-tip to clean HOOPZ ears on this show. And when Flav takes his shirt off I almost throw up in my mouth. You can almost see what he ate yesterday thru that tiny frame of his. PUMPKIN needs proactive or she got some ole fashioned HERPES growin around the mouth area. HOTTIE aka Lufa Vandross got the nastiest cleavage gap between her boobs I've ever seen. Her shit be saggin all up under her arm pits. MAN let that moose make it. Goldie...everyone knows she's there for comedy relief...next...Red Oyster is somewhere testifying for the state. Snitch ass need to wear some butt pads. Smiley got it goin on but..... yeah thats it...no BUTT. Jus pick HOOPZ sexy wanna be sheryl swoopes ass and call it a day..AMEN.
yall like hoopz? i do too. borderline pornstar someone said. yup.
but i like to call her nikki...
http://www.mydarlingnikki.com/
LMAO @ houstonkingpen. I like Hoopz the most. And whoever said Flava Flav looked like Mr. Hanky from South Park was on point with that one. I like Goldie too. Goldie and Hoopz are the only two left I actually like. Pumkin is okay, but she looks old in the face. I think either Hoopz, Goldie, or New York are gonna win. Even though i can't stand New York's ass.
Flav is a yayhead for real for keepin Mc Gusto, Hottie with her saggy old ass tits, talkin bout she got a Ivy league degree, then get a boob job trick, and goldie, she like a 5 on a good day but she thick.pumpkin do need a facelift. smiley is a bad bitch, i dont care what nobody says,but she got a long ass face. hoopz is the most beautiful girl in the world, at least one of the baddest black girls,have to get at her if i caught her slippin,it would be a bad life decision to let her go.
You can't do that show without New York !!! Her comments and actions make that show work. Actually she is the most entertaining outta the click. Hoopz and Smiley are no doubt the Eye Candy. Hottie ? Next !!!! Goldie is just the down to earth version of us all. She makes the comments we would make if we were on the show. Pumkin, come on....you gotta have a white girl to give that left field opinion on shit !!! I'm gonna miss Smiley/New York next episode....looks like one of them are out the door !!! Hottie should have been gone episode 1 !!! She really is Sloopy Joe, but damn Ron you still come off like a HATER. What's up with that ???? P.S. BUTT NAKED PICS OF SMILEY ON BGOL.COM !!!
I'm KING of the haters, actually.
You're still a fan.
That's what's up.
Sloppy Joe saying that nappy weave was her hair made my mouth drop open. She can't possibly think that shit looks real.
Has anyone noticed that Red Oyster is a dead ringer for Lois Griffen, the wife from "Family Guy".
This show is fake as fuck. That Red Oyster bitch has something to do with the production of the show. Plus she just got married. Hoopz is the baddest bitch on the show but I heard she was married too. That New York bitch looks like a man plus you can tell he/she sucks dick. Did you see how that thing was kissin flav? Yuck. FUck this fake ass show though. None of them bitches want a crackhead with 6 or 7 kids.
This blog is about Flavor Flav.
Please email me your video requests.
Thanks,
Ron Mexico
(taking over niggas posts)
im a lil mad esse vatos. flavor flav is a bitch, he all gettin at some chix he shoodnt even have holmez, o and it cool too see they give mexicans a job mane, keep wrytin dat funny shyt ron
NY is still my favorite no matter how much yall hate on her. Hoopz got that mulatto thing going for her and that is about it. Hottie was my second favorate until she told the weave lie. I wanted her fired after that. Yall ain't gettin the fun of it all. If Hottie and NY go there would be no excitement in that house at all.
No shit Bird thats why they set that shit up to make it seem like something went down to make the hoe that wears red everyday leave. Real shit you think the producers of the show going to have the 2 most annoying bitches leave that early? Yeah right. If you think this is "reality tv" than your gullible as fuck. Its going to come down to one of those annoying bitches (Man bitch, Sloppy Joe) and probably Hoopz or Smiley. That bitch Red Oyster did a horrible acting job and she has a long discography.
yall are two funny..I cant wait till next week show...looks like flav finds out someone is faking...(if he doesnt know that by now then he will never know)Sloppy Joe must go...MC Gusto is a nasty shim...if shim combs that hawiian silky weave one more time...i will slap shit out of shim...But i agree with some of yall...if MC gusto and Sloppy joe leaves then it would take the drama out it...they do carry the show...I mean really...Sloppy joe puts the chicken in the Microwave...thats just pure tv genius...i couldnt of written that script better myself....flav get that money...
Anyone seen the big ass clock that nigga wears?
Blacks 301,
4 points for the Hawaiian Silky reference.
wow.
Why does Flava Flav look like 'Marvin tha martian' with his helmit off? on that pic...lol,or Daffy Duck when he gets his bill blown off his face.....lol
If you dnt know who 'Marvin the Martian' is, put it in your search engine.
2 more points!
LUN Y TUNEZ!
Flav, you ugly dog lol! you ugly!
I have a funny feeln that New York is outta there! She would have been out this week but Red Oyster stepped up, he tired of her fake ass. Does anyone have link info on her? That kiss Smiley gave him made me sick, I had to turn my damn head.. Yuk to the 'Yuck Mouth' Man! They couldnt even pay me to kiss tha 'Chocolate Smurf'
I bet any kind of money Flav breath smell like he just drunk a doo-doo shake, and deez fake azz hoez kissin him. They gotta be payin dem bitches sum good $ to do this. I mean Honestly, which 1 of theez hoes do yall think genuinely likes dude? If I wuz Flav I'd buss in Hoopz 2 add her to da list of babies mamaz cuz she a dyme. As for NY, I'd face fuck her b/c she look like she like to get slutty and suck dat meat(and I know he thinkin da same thing). I'd titty fuck Hottie cuz it looks like it'll feel good. B4 da chink left Flav should have seen if he could get sum luv-me-longtime 2 c if she wuz 4real. Pumpkin gotta go, she's not serious. Goldie is da kind of bitch that got a personality you cling 2, on top of that she thick. Gotta go. Ron, keep it up my nigga.
Bout 2 go fuck my gal and fantisize bout hoopz, GotDayum! Holla
P.S --- What happened 2 Bridgett? holla back if you know.
Yo Ron Mexxx this show sounds too funny....Hope Some network cops it down here for us South Afrcans...like in the next year or decade or whatever..
This blog is madd crazyy! 1
lmao @ Marvin the martian!
Hoopz and Flav might be meant 4 each other. She's got looks but you need more than that to make her a real dyme. She cant be a good enough woman if Flavor Flav is the best man she can think of to go after. Plus, the fact that she is one of Tigger's Kittens (May) just takes her rating down to a nickel and a penny out of a dyme. U know all dem girls get they start in the strip clubs, so her standards is already low enuff for Flav.
I think that Hoopz, Pumkin, and Goldie Should make it to the last round cuz New York Try to hard, Hottie is a GOLDIGGER, Smiley Try to hard.
But HOOPZ TO PRETTY FOR THAT UGLY PLAYED OUT NIGGA
Actually Goldie has two degrees one from University of North Carolina in Biology and one from Winston Salem State Unversity for Nursing and on her way to MEDICAL SCHOOL...So only a high school education is inadquate. SORRY NOT A DUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!
no screen pics? what the fuck is that all about? put some pics of flav and cb4 with that nasty ass 8 min kiss!
yuck. how about let's not.
Marry Me Hoopz
Yeah Hoopz fine as Holly I Want to have vaginal sex with her if she'll do it with flav (and she did say she would lie Detector test) then she would do it with me I'm 6`3 215 pounds I'm black and I have a 9 inch Penis and I'm only 16 Holla at me Hoopz. I Love you, It's more than just sex.
big l sit yo ass down! NY is the whole show. If she goes, there is no more entertainment. Plus she is gangsta like that. She don't take no shit off nobody! I can't wait for next week!
all i have to say about this show truthfully speaking is that the bitch that wins is the bitch that deserves it!!! no disrespect to hoopz but she got looks but does she have everything else flav is looking for??? now i thought there was a good chance that hoopz would win but home girl DISRESPECTED flavs best friend and thats crossing the line now yeah brigette was talking shit but she did say " i know that i may have said something to hurt the little girls feelings and i'm sorry for that" now yeah i know hoopz wants to prove to the world that she don't play games but not during a competition does somebody act like that. when brigette said "there are some tired girls on the right side of the room she was refering to hoopz and pumkin, pumkin didnt say anything(smart move), but she looked at hoopz like you heard what she said to you and hoopz started to act a fool. now everybody knows brigette was jelous so take that and run with it don't give the bitch a reason to go back and say shit about you, ya nah sayin..... anywayz it aint about lookin tough i don't take shit from nobody but i tell you one thing i would have let briggette talk till her damn mouth got dry this way i know she don't have shit to tell flav but i was talking shit to her and she didn't respond will flav get mad? noooooooo so hoopz your a pretty lady and everything like that but you got to play your cards right so when elimination comes up you know that your not going home because you did what you had to do. as far as who is going to win or who seems sincere i think goldie because she is 100% herself and thats what a real nigga wants, "any guy would fuck a pretty girl but it's the real girl he makes his wife," by the way i made that up. but if flav wants the whole package he would probably pick new york
now that that dumb ugly fake bitch hottie is off the show shit will be easier to narrow down, flav doesn't want a fucking ugly 45 year old looking white girl, so that white bitch is out, goldie ain't his type looks wise like brigget said, hoopz is loud and annoying as shit, and she think she runs his shit, but really the bitch ain't all that, so she out too, new york gon take this shit all the way, the bitch was straight up and blunt the whole way and she gon take it, plus she look better than any other bitch on that show, she was my favorite from the start and she will continue to run it
damn nat you took the words right out of my mouth
Why the hell did I see Red Oyster in Nick Cannons audience in the same outfit she quit the show in.....lol!What did she do leave the show and go straight to his show for taping!It aired the same week she left.
hahaha!
my dad's in the hospital!
i'd better go to nick cannon's wild'n out to clear my mind.
you ronnie mex, love the comments
hoops is the truth, smiley is an 8, not a 9 cause she got 3 kids- real rap, and goldie has the personality, hoops might be too immature though
south jersey
smiley is an ugly dumb chink
with a flat fucking ass
fuck that bitch
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! DID YA'LL SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED ON THE MOST RECENT EPISODE!?!?!?
THAT UGLY FAT BITCH GOLDIE GOT KICKED THE FUCK OFF, AND MY GIRL NEW YORK S T I L L PULLING THROUGH
AND THEN I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THAT FIGHT BETWEEN MY GIRL NEW YORK AND THAT UGLY DUMB BITCH REDNECK BITCH, GOING TO GET IT COMING TO HER
BEST EPISODE SO FAR TONIGHT!
Everybody needs to stop hatin' on Hoopz and Goldie. I want them two to lose. Pick Pumpkin or New York. I don't care. Y'all need to leave Goldie alone. My girl is sexy like a motherfucka. The body is phat. Yeah she's Kountry. SO whats wrong with that. What y'all got against Kountry People. Our Kountry girls got everything that those East Coast, West Coast, and Midwest girls wish they could've have. A PHAT ASS like no other. New York thats a crazy chick but I hope she wins so I can get a chance at Hoopz and Goldie. Ya damn right GOLDIE. Goldie is that cool ass chick playa hate her if you want.
New york suck dick
NEW YORK IS GOING TO FUCKING TAKE IT AND WIN FUCK ALL YA'LL!
OH AND NEW YORK SHOULD OF RIPPED THAT FUCKING UGLY BITCHES FACE OFF WHEN SHE SPIT IN HER FUCKING FACE
THAT IS FUCKING FUCKED UP
GO NEW YORK.
i guess them NY fans aint talkin now...Hoopz is a bad bitch!! i don't think she'll stay wit flav though...she too good...but fuck NY...she need to go to roller disco wit Dennis Rodman or somethin
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