TALKIN' VIDEOS
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The Ultimate Hustler: Amateur Photo Shoot
Posted on November 23, 2005 11:03 AM
Today marks the first Talkin Videos entry devoted to Damon Dash and The Negro Channel's shameless attempt at ripping off "The Apprentice."
If you don't know already "The Ultimate Hustler" is a reality show in which contestants compete for a Jeep, "respeck" (yeah, right), and a spot on Dame's nuts closer than anyone not named Rachel Roy. This week, the prospective cutthroats' assignment was (in two teams of three) to assemble a professional-looking photo shoot for Dame Dash's self-glorifying urban fashion trade magazine "America." I must say, the shit was kinda entertaining. I was surprised.
This was my first time watching the shit. I don't know who's been cut or anything like that, so don't ask. I'll probably DVR the marathon on Saturday and catch up. One thing I do know... That theme song has got to fucking go. This man was co-head of Rocafella and this is all he can come up with? Shit soulds like a Dylan Dillinger demo track. Donga, donga, donga! Chappelle would have sounded better. A rrrrum pum-PUM! A rrrrrrrrump-pon-TING! I rip and I rhmye... I rhyme and I rip! This is the way that Mexico shits!
First stop, I gotta talk about this man's wife. I didn't even know he was married. All I knew was he was dating Aaliyah, then there was a sex scandal... and now he's wifed up? Interesting. Rachel Roy = Kimora part 2. Mark my word, you're gonna catch her speedin from the cops on the interstate hittin a jay. Speaking of whom, I bet Jay wasn't about to let her come in and bogart Rocawear. I don't care how good the head is, you ain't gonna wife me, take a piece of my company and run Baby Roc... or Shorty Roc. Nuh-uh. I'll drop you back off at the swap meet before that happens.
Seriously, Am I the only one who noticed that Rachel Roy is Dame's resident expert on... EVERYTHING? I'm thinkin she should run the show and Dame should just provide comic relief. After putting the "Body Bear" on people's faces, accusing the white girl of two-tone farting in her sleep, and putting a bottle of nasty ass Armadale on someone's titties, this man missed his calling as a potential host of Comic View... sponsored by Popeye's... for Black History Month!... sorry, I'm still salty about that. (Not as salty as that 3pc. though.)
Dame didn't have to snitch on the Blackanese dude. He coulda kept the opinion that Dashawn is dirty and funky to himself. He violated the G-code there. -2 points for Damon. -4 points for coming up in the spot with no shirt on. Nobody wanna see that shit, nigga.
Anyway... on to the [extreme hoin'] challenge.
Who is the dude who chapperones Rachel Roy and where is his bottom jaw?
Are all fashion photographers homosexuals with three names?
I was amazed that a group with a fashionista and a magazine publisher failed so horribly in a FASHION MAGAZINE challenge. That's like finding out Mother Teresa died of complications due to Chlamydia. As Jay-Z would say... What the fuuuuuuck?
I love how Brian (the blackanese dude) kept bombing on Jen (the white girl). He had some classics.
"Sure, I'd hire her! She could answer my phone anytime!"But the shit that took the cake was when he referred to himself as Kobe, Ray as LeBron and Jen as fucking B.J. Armstrong. As Uncle Ruckus once said "That's funny on SO many levels."
I always thought B.J. Armstrong sounded like an ideal name for a gay porn actor. If I had a choice I'd be like "Fuck it... My name is Bartholomew Armstrong. You niggas ain't bout to call me B.J. Nuh-uh!"
If the Warner Bros. deal doesn't go as planned and he can't sell 5 million copies of the next Oschino and Sparks album like he plans, he might have to start looking into his next pilot possibility. "The Ultimate Falloff." Chris and Neef can only take a label so far.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Need to know where to find a good ascot? ronnie_mexxx@yahoo.com
Comments
Damn I can't believe how Dame fell off da map..like that.. basically ever since it's been ova for him wit da R.O.C. he can't seem to get things poppin back off...and as for the whole wife thing.. damn when all of this happen...
Despite the silly aspects of this show it's strangely entertaining.
At least they're doing real missions that relates to working with Dame, and not walking across the Brooklyn Bridge to get cheesecake.
I have a video request- you probably haven't seen it yet, but the Ultimate Hustler theme song has it's own video.
YO RON FOR SHIZZEL MA DUDE ; DAMN BENZINO NEEDS YOUR EDITORAL OVER THERE
@ THE SOURC"E" MAG; ANYWAYS DAME DIDN'T MAKE IT ON HIS OWN. HE RODE IN THE GAME ON JAY-Z COATTAIL ! ! DAME DASH IS DONE ! ! !DAME DASH IS DONE ! ! HE'S REALLY A RUDE DUDE; DISRESPECTFUL, ETC; HE REALLY JUST GETS PROPS FROM BEING A SMALL TIME HUSTLER FROM HARLEM; DAME LOOKS AT HIMSELF LIKE HE BETTER THAN ALOT OF PEOPLE; MONEY DON'T GIVE YOU MORE SENSE ! # 1 HUSTLE RULE: ITS ABOUT MAKING MONEY ; NOT COMPETING WITH OTHER HUSTLERS THAT ONLY LEEDS TO J.O.S.E JEALOUS ONES ENVY ! !HEY FIFTY, CRACK KILL! ! DUDE'S DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE HUMBLE SO........THEY CRUMBLE ! ! !
OH F@#^%K INTERSCOPE ; KOCH GOT IT POPPIN STILL WAIT FOR A MAJOR RELEASE FROM THE CARTER ADMINISTRATION (ALBUM THAT IS) YO RUN IF YOU LUV HIP HOP SHEEK LOUCH ALBUM IS FIRE ! !
SHEEK LOUCH ALBUM SI FIRE ! !
SHEEK LOUCH ALBUM IS FIRE ! !
SHEEK LOUCH ALBUM SI FIRE ! !
SHEEK LOUCH ALBUM IS FIRE ! !
SHEEK LOUCH ALBUM SI FIRE ! !
SHEEK LOUCH ALBUM IS FIRE ! !
SHEEK LOUCH ALBUM SI FIRE ! !
ALL 19 JOINTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PEACE TO THE GOD UNI-VERS-AL BORN ALLAH
Oh shit... Consider that video done!
BIG UP TO JIM BROWSKI!! I DONT EVEN LIKE LOUCH BUT HIS CD IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE SLEEPER OF THE YEAR. NOW ON TO DAME DASH! HE IS THE WACK MOTHERFUCKER TO GRACE THIS PLANET, I DONT LIKE THE SHOW BUT I WAS AT SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE AND THEY DO, SO I WATCHED HIM KICK A GUY OFF BCUZ THE GUY DIDNT WANT TO SNAP ON THE NEXT PERSON. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH RUNNING A COMPANY. EVERYONE CANT BE JOKIN DAME, WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS WHILE YOUR OUT THERE LAUGHIN IT UP! I WOULDNT PUT IT PAST DAME AS BEING A GOOD BUSINESS MAN EVEN THOUGH HE "NEVER" DISPLAYS ANY TYPE OF SKILLS OTHER THAN A BRATT. I CANT WAIT TO SEE DAME CRASH AND BURN. I WANT HIM TO BE SUCCESSFUL SO HE CAN HELP PEOPLE BUT HE IS JUST A JACKASS! ALL THE CONTESTANT SHOULD QUIET AT THE SAME TIME SO THAT SHOW CAN FOLD AND PEOPLE IN THE INDUSTRY CAN JUST STOP FUCKIN WITH DAME!
hey ron...when you watch the marathon..check out the episode when they teams had to run all over the city to certain people giving out them bullshit ass "ceo's"...dames knockoff s dots......he made a comment saying that he wasnt putting them in stores.....u'll see y!!
ya'll tripping, if Dame came to any of you right now, you hungry guys would be rocking team roc, ceo's and tirets as fast as a new york minute! Yo Dame, holla, i'm trying to rock a tiret, the milk and cookie joints and all that! I'm the ultimate, splashing me real tv!
fuck that show
I hate this dumb ass show its soooo boring he got rid of all of the interesting people which was stupid.I heard he stole this idea from somebody else i hope the person sues the fuck out his ass if its true.
HEY HUSTLER! I AGREE WITH YOU TO A CERTAIN EXTENT! BUT JIMMY AND DAME ARE ONLY SIMILAR IN BEING ASSHOLES. JIMMY DONT WANT ALL MONEY CUZ IF THAT WAS THE CASE HE WOULD HAVE PUT STYLE P ALBUM OUT CUZ EVEN IF D-BLOCK IS BEEFING WITH FIF YOUR GONNA EAT CUZ THE BOTH ARE UNDER YOU. BUT ANYWAY DAME IS WACK AND IS ON THE DECLINE AS FAR AS MAKIN MONEY GOES.. NO ONE WANTS TO DO BUSINESS WITH DAME. SO IF HE FUCK UP THE FEW DEALS THAT HE HAS NOW HE WILL BE LIKE BOBBY BROWN OR EDDIE DA KING JR.! WASHED UP! HE NOT AN ARTIST YOU RIGHT BUT IF NO ARTIST WANT TO FUCK WITH YOU HOW YOU GONNA STAY IN BUSINESS. NEW PEOPLE GONNA FUCK WITH HIM JUST ON THE STRENGTH. BUT ONCE THE GET A FEEL OF HIS ASSHOLE TENDENCEY THEN THEY GONNA BOUNCE ON HIS ASS TOO!!
hahah ya sizzla does that intro and the video for it,HAHA! i cant wait till it gets done here.
Wow... Sizzla used to be my nigga. I can't even recognize his voice now.
...affiliating with the Dips, doin Dame's corny theme song. Damn... this is gonna be worse than when Bounty Killer fell off.
I was horrified when I saw this episode. I would like to go into fashion marketing as a career and I wanted to jump through the screen and slap some people.
Dame clearly said that it had to represent him, so why in the hell would they have people being lovey dovey at a restaurant or a man chopping some girl in a car while he's walking? They aren't serious! Have the people at a party or show them shopping. All those people need some uppercuts.
Yo Dame is DONE! he actually think he is going to sell young guns to anyone, not after the world hears money mike clown the shit out of him and he is not even a rapper!!! Dame should have kept his mouth shut and sat in the back cuts stacking mo money while jay-z did all the work, but as soon as he started putting in his chump change Jay was like WHY do i keep your crystal wasting ass around!! and Ron I am SHOCKEd that you even took the time out to watch this shit, i am happy to say i have not watched the show and do not plan on it either.
I personally feel it is a good show. I admit though he did kick a few people off for some dumb reasons. The show is tight though. It has very little to do with being a hustler, but it's still tight. Hustling is about making money not how bad you can crack on another dude.
I mean the nigga still paid,it's just that without no Jay-Z,who gives a fuck about Dame.
yo mexico stop sayin nigga duke. u not black and u definitely not from the hood so just stop u sound stupid. and stop hatin on everyfuckinbody in the world...i know its hard bein mexican but damn do u like anyone, pussylips?
do yall hatin ass dudes have any idea how much dame sold his share of rocafella for?? needless to say hes financially comfortable for the rest of his life
dame does have some things to say......respect him
Real Idiot,
How do you know what race/ethnicity I am? If you were on higher than a 4th grade reading level you would know who Ron Mexico is, and that I am black.
You also assume I'm not from the streets, I guess that's because this blog contains large words like "scandal," "marathon" and "prospective."
I think your internet time at the library is about to be up. When they kick you off of the computer, go pick up some of the fascinating literature in the Young Adults section and step your shit up, my nigga.
I recommend anything by Judy Blume. Those should be challenging enough without being too hard to follow.
Come back and give us a little report on Fudge's wacky antics, okay?
shut the fuck up u uncle tom ass nigga get off the internet and get some pussy u fuckin hoe
You first, killer.
ron mexico--michael vick aint nobody stupid...but ur girl told me u was a blexican tho tru story
Man why is it you got to be from the hood to say nigga? Come on how stupid does that shit sound? Yo i can give a fuck if ROn is a beaner or a nigga, i come here for the jokes and to waste time at work, Ron does a stand up job putting these so called rappers in line, shit i am with him, you put out good music then you get props, but when you put out wack music and a lame video then you get clowned shit you can even get clowned with a good track but a Wack video! Ron Mex is getting paid for this shit, can the rest of you say that? Shit i know i am making money right now, might not be for these blogs but shit i am still getting paid to see what ron is talkin bout!
why is every man in fashion so damn gay.i hate that shit and i hate that black faggot on that tyra banks tv show about them ho ass models shoot him please.
I thought the Young Gunz were signed under Jay still
How can you get on the ultimate hustler reality show?
I said it years ago and I will say it again Dame Dash is a corn ball type dude. He is one of those dudes that have to try extra hard to be down, but his tru colors always shine through. His wife fits him to a T. I could never see Dame with a sister with ethnic features! Charles Barkley, Cuba Gooding Jr, Tiger Wood and Dame Dash are made of the same cloth! They paid but they lame as hell!
I don't catch the flow of the show. I really don't see the missions having anything to do with making it as a CEO. What is the point of the show again? Can someone remind me please?. Dame is trying though, he seems to know what he's doing, and as a black man I'm glad he has a network, and is apart of something that is giving back to the black community.
By the way the soundtrack is good. SIZZLA KALONJI is my favorite artist of all time.I recommend "Black Woman & Child"- one of the many good lbums SIZZLA has made. My problem is I feel Dame isn't gonna market him as the artist he really is. He is like a present day Bob Marley, and Bob didn't have to change when he got signed to an American label, so I hope Sizzla doesn't either. He isn't about anything negative, and the songs that he's featured on with Foxy, Juelz Santana, and Camron aren't reflective of what he represents. I do understand that Dame wants more people to hear him, -I mean the man is walking talent-, he wants SIZZLA to also sell to the Urban consumers, but don't change his image. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF!!!!
Ulitmate Hustler is a good show mayne. I think Ron said its surprisingly entertaining. I feel like that too, and for a cat like me wiht my foot in the game, i'm tryin to see what it takes to get to that next level. i watch apprentice and ult. hustler for insight in the game as far as business is concerned....but good job Ronnie...hold it down. (sizzle95@real-hiphop.com)
The show sucks point blank!Pop in a porn tape instead :)
Honestly people the only way your going to make it to the next level is doing it yourself, your way.The producers just made up activites that seem like this what you should do to become the ultimate hustler. What makes this different from Miss Seventeen? Oh it involves black more black people RIGHT... I like the little code points that are not in any real order... that should be the only advice you need to take from the show. Most of the contestants have the speech of a 13 year old. Who would possibly sit at any real business meeting and give them a listening ear? The white girl was dumb all she needed to do was pick up trash. Rachel was jealous of Seven cause she knew if it came down to a wild night and enough Armadale Dame will try to hit that and the digital diva would not miss that opportunity. He picks on DeShawn cause he taller than him like Jay Z. Most of them are forgettable. All I can say is HUSTLER TIP #001 A real hustler don't wear it on his sleeve.
ATL~Finest... and I'm out
BIG UP 2 spice 4 his/her comments... and LOL @ all the 'internet thugs' on here trying to kick each other off... :p
"Ya'll sensative THUGS, ya'll ALL need hugs." lol
ATL~can't u tell...???
I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW (I THINK BET SUCKS PERIOD) BUT I THINK DAME DASH ISN'T GOING TO MAKE IT. HIS BIGGEST MOVE BESIDES THIS IS SIGNING SIZZLA (HE PROBABLY DID THAT SHIT BECAUSE JAY ALMOST HAD HIM). THAT NIGGA SHOULD JUST KEEP DANCING IN VIDEOS. HE'S A WELFARE VERSION OF DIDDY. ANY WAY HUSTLING AIN'T SHIT THAT'S EDITTED AND DISPLAYED FOR AMUSEMENT. I AGREE WITH DISPLAYING IT TO SHOW CATS WHAT THEY'RE DOING WRONG BUT DON'T DO IT FOR RATINGS. WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IS HAVE A ROUND TABLE SHOW LIKE ON PBS OR SOMETHING THAT BREAKS IT DOWN. "I AM A BILLIONAIRE BECAUSE I SUCKED THE CEO'S DICK ON A LATE NIGHT OR I GOT FUCKED IN MY ASS. THAT'S HOW I GOT DOWN AND YOU CAN TOO IF YOU'RE WILLING TO."...LOL MOST OF THOSE CATS ARE HOMOS ANY WAY AND IF THEY'RE NOT THEY GOT THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF EM FOR STEALING SOME ONE'S SHIT. MAYBE 5% OF THEM MADE ON HONEST HARD WORK. THE THING TO DO RIGHT NOW IS SUCK IT UP AND ALIGN YOURSELF WITH THESE FAGS OR THEIR FAGGOT ASS UNDERLINGS. MOST OF US DON'T SUCCEED TO OUR POTENTIAL BECAUSE WE DON'T DO WHAT THEY DID OR ARE LUCKY TO RIDE SOME ONE'S COATTAILS.....RESPECT TO ALL MY PEOPLE ON HERE WHO'S GRINDING 22/7...
REPPING BK TO THE FULLEST.....
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