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Cowboy Troy - "I Play Chicken With The Train/If You Don't Wanna Love Me"
Posted on August 7, 2005 10:14 PM
Hey, did you hear that? Sounds like a big black train!
No, this isn’t gangbang porn, but it’s probably equally offensive to some. Just for this special jigapoo, we’re going to give you a 2-for-1 to start off the week. That’s right, eight minutes of Cowboy Troy performing his minstrel show classics, “I Play Chicken With The Train” and “If You Don’t Wanna Love Me” [watch them now]. I would have completed the trifecta with "I Play Nice Nice For Massa" featuring Michael Clarke Duncan, but I couldn't find a link to the video. Welcome to “Hick-Hop.” This is more fun than a barrel of watermelons!
I think I found the cowboy from Pee Wee’s Playhouse! Free from the jheri curl, Cowboy Troy now bumbles around Garth Brooks’ playhouse. The secret word of the day is “COON.” If you hear anyone say “coon” today, yawl just go on and act a damn fool, you hear?
Seriously, what audience is Troy trying to appeal to here with this country ass 8 Mile? He walks a parted sea of a crowd to the stage. This is not because they all respect the self-proclaimed “Big Black Train,” but because the concert is segregated. He should be ashamed for all of that Tim McGraw name-dropping. He’s a little late anyways. Another black rapper has already flocked to Mr. Faith Hill’s dick. His name is Nelly.
I’m not disturbed by an attempt to bridge the gap between country, rock and rap. They are closer than we all think. The problem is that they picked the wrong nigga to be the figurehead. I thought he was a swap-meet auction caller. How can I respect a man whose verse sounds like “It’s the Big Black Train mumble mumble I’m big and black mumble gotcha listenin to a big black man! Gitchoosum!?” They might as well Vaseline this man up and let him shuffle on banana peels… juggling watermelons… wearing a vest made of Popeye’s chicken.
He’s leavin… On a big black traaaaaaiiin to Georgia.
The second video is a downtempo country ballad, sang by a man who can neither sing nor execute a slow-paced rap. Posted up in a room that appears to be suited for a real recording artist, Cowboy Troy tries to pull a Michael Bolton. With a whoop-dee-damn awesome country orchestra deserving of Reba McIntyre herself, Cowboy Troy slow-motion stumbles through a pretty ho-hum story about white people cheating on each other in wealthy suburbs. The flow is actually reminiscent of 50 Cent in “Just A Little Bit.” Close your eyes and listen to it.
Continuing in his commitment to be the only black person in this video, he throws a curveball late in the second half. While the story is a generic one about a runaway teen, the ending of the video takes a rather chilling twist. The runaway teenage girl turns to a creepy predator for solace. I guess he did this for shock value, because the song and video are pure ass. Unfortunately for him, he’ll never top the shock his viewers receive when realizing their favorite children’s TV negro cowboy is still in the game chanting “Go Cowboy, Go Cowboy, Go!” a la Vanilla Ice in the Ninja Turtle Rap.
I admit that I’m not the biggest country head, but I respect the genre. While I’m glad to see a black person trying to do it, I’m disappointed that it had to be such a clown allowing his label to parade him around like this. I mean, this is far from Jackie Robinson’s integration of baseball. Shit, this is worse than Darryl Strawberry integrating baseball on coke. Troy Coleman is more like Vince Coleman integrating baseball high on coke, spraying children with bleach-filled squirt guns… and then peeing on them.
Ahhhhhhhh! Gitchoosome!
Questions? Comments? Requests? Still waiting for your train? ronnie_mexxx@yahoo.com
Comments
On a scale of 1-10 on how this sucks....I give it a 500...
This dude watched the Five Heartbeats and Be Cool and decided that his shit-hop was the wave of the future. I don't know what he what he was thinking with this crap. The Nelly song was as the Architect stated,"...an anomaly". Who the fuck is going to buy or book this dude somewhere? Even the black rodeos won't fuck up their credibility with this dude. If you can't even get on with the Universoul circus you might as well get a 9 to 5. And no man should be wearing tight ass jeans, it's 2005. Step your denim up.
Ron, what underground nuclear bunker did you pull this one out of so i can lock that shit right back up! I think I blew a cornea watching this shit............
This nigga sucks. He should be embarrassed to even call himself a musician. The only people thats gonna to listen to this clown is dumb rednecks. The sad part is he's probably get paid to suck Tim McGraw and Nelly's dick at the same time.
Man.....sumbody wake me up, cuz i just had this fck'd up dream dat sum black dude had da nerve to destroy hip-hop by rapping over a country song.....damn next Nelly gonna be singing w/ country artists
This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
wow....wow...And I thought I'd never see anyone be worst that Fred Durst.
The first video the "concert" was special...why you may ask? because his boyfriend was there (the token black guy in the audience). This looked like a very very wack version of the "Pony" video. At least I believed that the bikers actually liked those black ppl. This video had every stereotypical thing a Rap video has....with more white ppl.
The 2nd video....the "softer side" of coonboy troy. I liked the very beginning..that's it. His "flow" was reminicent of LL Cool J in "I Need Love" but ...you know....crappy. This video wasn't shocking it just let me know what coonboy thinks about at night time.
This is the whole reason they didn't want black ppl in country music.
Thing is...if Outkast pulled this stunt, everybody'd be crooning, "how revolutionary...wow! Outkast does it again!!" "Andre 3000 looks so damn cool in this hick video--how DO they do it?!" "Much props to Outkast for flipping the game again!"
The difference would be... that Ourkast wouldn't have sucky lines... horrible flow... or entirely coon themselves out.
But Outkast doing some shit like this OUTSIDE of a parody is BIG ASS if.
Cowboy Troy HAS done it... and it's god awful.
Can someone stick a pole into his back so we can jiggle him like a minstral puppet?
Ain't this the dude taht did that Burger King commercial?
No,
Sadly, that was Darius Rucker, front man of "Hootie & The Blowfish."
OMG!! "They might as well Vaseline this man up and let him shuffle on banana peels… juggling watermelons… wearing a vest made of Popeye’s chicken," lol...4 real!! as i watched and listened to this shit all i could think was wtf..wtf...wtf...wtf..is this bull shit!?! shit! i'm embarassed for him! wtf!!! i still can't believe this guy..
Ron, I love the Vince Coleman reference... He was my favorite player growing up. Thanks!
Mets, baby!
hey peoplz, give the man a break. I mean surely the guy just wants to create a new style of music. Its obvious he wants to be the NEW outkast. He calls it...crack-ass country wannabe white boy! Maybe he just...didnt fit in as a "nigga", growing up. We all have our issues!
I'll give him credit for the attempt BUT...the whole problem is like he took every stereotypical thing from country videos and hip hop videos and created one big honky tonk coon fest
Cardinals, Baby!
WOw Ron you never cease to amaze. The first song had a message which is semi redeemable, but the lyrics were straight garbage. Chingy could have wrote better. It doesn't help that he was sitting on that stool with his nuts up on his stomach. When you wear pants that tight how can you make any other face than the old school Ice Cube scowl? I know he had a tube of monstat 7 under his hat for the yeast infection (it won't fit in his pockets). It's funny when he sings/raps of whatever you call his bastard style he actually looks like he gives a fuck. The second song could have been a Nashville shown only KFC commercial. It's bad enough Darius Rucker (Hootie) did that bullshit for Burger King singing like fuckin Gene Autry, but this jig went and got the rest of the Blowfish to back him up for this jizz bomb. The girls on the bull, some random sista droppin it like it's hot for the damn Grand Dragon, disgusting. Hell I thought the WB frog was gonna dance through at the end. For the remix Troy and Hootie can put on blackface and have a tap/hoe down showdown. Yeah Tim McGraw said he was feelin you, but he only did a song with Nelly. When Karl Malone sees this he's gonna cut a fuckin country album. Then you know one of the seven seals have been broken, everybody please pray for Troy.
look t could be worse u couldhave a jig doing a jig but coonboy troy didnt makethis style of music to be reveloutionary he did it because he's another jig who thinks the world is against his people...or because he thinks because of slavery days hes entitalled to something special.didnt like the white women on the bull either.i aint down ith the interracial stuff. but hey thats just one mans opinion
^
there goes karl malone NOW!
Someone just condoned this video????
I think I just saw hell freeze over
I think you just saw a klansman on Talkin' Videos.
You know what i think... i think you all should grow the fuck up. The shit you think is good music sucks... you cant even find true rap and r&b now a days... as for the dumb redneck shit i have been listening to country my whole life... i didnt like the fact that country was turning from its origional nature into a more poppy sound but you know what you get over it... the times have changed so music has to... he is a COUNTRY ARTIST> not rap. if you dont like it dont listen to it. Plus its the the words of the song that you should actually pay attention to.
Summer... Autumn... whatever your name is.
You mean lyrics like "chuggalugga chuggalugga?"
Maybe you paid special attention to the various combinations of "big black train."
Congratulations on being the first person brave enough to defend him.
You get the gold star for that.
I'll never condone this coonery, though.
hey autumn i think your well probably a white women whos had a few black trains ran on her.you obviously dont know the original lyrics.the song originally said big black dick comin round the bend and a few slurs against white people and yes this is coonery at its worst.maybe the song should say big black train ran on a white trash ho you guys know who im talking about and as for ron u go boy.
I love the song "If you dont want to love me"! it really touched me! and i dont care what other people say about Cowboy Troy. I think that he is REALLY good and that he needs to keep makin BEAUTIFUL songs like If you dont want to love me! keep up the good work! and for all of the other people who think that this magnificent man is F*cked up then kiss my old hairy grannys ass. because you shouldnt make fun of someone so incredible like Mr. Cowboy Troy!
The country's orginal sound was Native American chanting, you dumb bitch.
I saw him on good morning america a while back and couldn't believe what i seeing. Oh yeah and on that show he did a jig dance, a ho-down mixed with some pop lock and then a split to boot!!! Hey it's obvious he's not in it for the long haul, just the quick buck. At the end of the day i'd rather keep my so-so job and not do that for a living.
hey granny i think your a tranny.coonboy troy blows ass
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