You know what that means! This weekâ€™s edition of â€œThrowback Thursdayâ€ has been brought to you by the Kings of Crunk. Which Lil Jon and the Eastside Boys video did we select? BIA BIA!!!! [watch it now]. Featuring Ludacris, Too Short and Chyna White, this video has everything you need from hoes, to fire, to drinking, to hoes, to hoes dancing on tables, to lesbians fucking up the plumbing!
Before I continueâ€¦ Big Kap = Morocco Mole.
Okay, peep my nigga David Banner blowinâ€™ the fire in front of the Confederate flag.
Why rap (or crunk) in front of the Confederate flag anyway? I canâ€™t bring myself to watch Fox News, yet Lil Jon got on a Ku Klux Klan vest. I was reluctant to listen to their shit when this came out because the album cover had the Confederate flag on it. I thought it was gonna be some old slavery shit.
Lil Jon: Why you talkin' back to massa? Back to massa?
Eastside Boys: BIA BIA!!!"
You know who I love more than Lil Jon. Them loyal ass Eastside Boyz. Big Sam and Lil Bo will bop to ANYTHING Lil Jon says! I love it!
I canâ€™t help but get crazy when this song comes on. Ludacrisâ€™ verse here is one of my favorite of his career and evidence that he is one of the greatest guest appearance rappers ever. In addition to wondering why he doesnâ€™t murder his OWN shit this way, Iâ€™m confused as to why he has on football gloves. More importantly, what is he doing underwater with a microphone? Shitâ€¦ might as well throw a toaster and a hair dryer in there too.
Theyâ€™re partying in what looks like the scene of a natural disaster. Based on what Iâ€™m seeing, I would assume that a tunnel had collapsed. That damn sure donâ€™t look like no pool. I think I saw a turd in that motherfucker. I guess if something like that happens, and Sylvester Stallone ainâ€™t around, and youâ€™re gonna die, might as well die crunk.
Short Dawgâ€™s verse got butchered. Iâ€™m not happy about that. I canâ€™t call it. Iâ€™m not a huge fan of the rampant pimp imagery in rap videos, Too Short is one of my favorite MCs. I guess itâ€™s because of his wit and demeanor. This nigga Short got his bitches holding up umbrellas for him in the club while the sprinklers are goin off! My nigga saidâ€¦ â€œOpen up them umbrellas, bitches! Daddy ainâ€™t done drankin!â€
Now, Chyna Whiteâ€¦ Look more like Puerto Rican Beige to me. Did she just grab her dick? Oh, god! Lil Jon said, â€œBig Sam, Boâ€¦ I gots the perfect addition to the Eastside Boys! A Puerto Rican lesbian!â€ At which point, Iâ€™m sure Sam and Bo just bopped along and said â€œYEAH!â€¦ YEAH!â€¦ YEAH!â€
Iâ€™m really glad she didnâ€™t stick around. Not because she likes them gulsâ€¦ but because sheâ€™s annoying as all shit! I heard she stole the ax from the video shoot to break into Planned Parenthood and steal all the dental dams.
This has been a moment in the life of Lil Jon! Why you actinâ€™ like a bitch? Watch the video! Turn your system the fuck up, and go slam dance with a lesbian!
Questions? Comments? Requests? Need a plumber? firstname.lastname@example.org