May 2005 Archives

From listening carefully to his albums you should be able to understand two things about Eminem:

1. Eminem is a great lyricist.
2. Marshall Mathers is a crazy, crazy bastard.

When his newest album “Encore” was released, if you asked me which songs would make video singles, I probably would have answered “Definitely not ‘Ass Like That.’” Having followed Eminem’s career however, I should have known better as “Ass Like That” [watch it now] is, in fact, his newest single and video offering.

*Cue fuzzy TV noise and news anchor*

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled hate-by-request to bring you a special SOHH bulletin!

We've just received word from our field correspondent Akinyele that Heather Hunter has just released a rap single complete with video."

Sorry, guys. I gotta take this one. Apparently, Heather Hunter was able to keep a dick out of her mouth long enough to record some verses! That’s right, the Queen of Negro Porn has graced the rap world with her presence. Signed to BLO Records (not making that up),Her new single and video “So Serious” [watch it now] is her triumphal [backdoor] entry into the world of hip-hoppin’.

“You don’t know me!” â€" T.I.

“Yeah, we do!” â€" Ron Mexico

Does anyone besides me remember who T.I. was before we got to know (or not know) the Rubberband Man? Well, a few years ago the A-Town mainstay with the refined, lazy flow was an overanxious, cocky little high-schooler with a record deal.

Just removed from the “P” at the end of his name, T.I. teamed up with the not-yet-blown-up Neptunes and self-proclaimed "King of the Dancehall," Beenie Man for the title track and lead-off single of his 2001 mainstream solo debut “I’m Serious” [watch it now]

By overwhelming popular demand via email, "Talkin’ Videos" is proud to present our first by-request selection.

That’s right, thanks to the support of the Save The Hairline foundation and viewers like you, we are pleased to present: Gucci Mane feat. Young Jeezy in “Icy” [watch it now]

I've noticed Gucci Mane's name has been in the headlines this weekend as a possible murder suspect. Fuck all that. The only crime this nigga has committed is NOT getting a shape-up before this video shoot.

“Rugged Man… Hairy baboon!/ You could catch me at the Source Awards Jerkin’ off in the bathroom!”

A few years removed from ridiculous lines such as this, the self-proclaimed lowlife white boy from Long Island is back! Despite rumors of being developmentally disabled (the nice way of saying “he might be retarded”) and accusations of having been in a mental institution (a la Dave Chappelle), R.A. The Rugged Man chronicles his life and times as a white underground MC with his newest single and video “Lessons.” [watch it now]

Good day, everyone! I’m Ron Mexico.

If you’re just joining us, you may be wondering “What the HELL is going on in this section of the SOHH blog network?!”

If you’ve stumbled upon “Talking Videos” with myself, Ron Mexico, you may have already noticed that this is not your run-of-the-mill review column. This ain't Rap City, bitches. You’ve probably also noticed that I don’t seem to give a fuck. For all of those who may have gotten it twisted, I think today is a good day to recap the past couple of weeks and to formally introduce myself, my column, and why I do what I do. Come, now… Follow me!

That’s right… no more “Lil’” on the Bow Wow… But if you have a sister or cousin 14 or younger, you already knew that.

In his second “I’m grown now” comeback, Bow Wow teams up with fellow newly-liberated kiddie-rocker, Omarion (formerly of Negro boy-band B2-Gay) for the latest Luther Vandross decimation, “Let Me Hold You.” [watch it now] Big up to me breddrin’ dem over at Jamaica Live for providing this uncensored link! That’s right! Bow Wow needed a radio version for this shit! And nevermind the scary Jamaican voice. That’s just Elephant Man. He nah go’ hurtcha nah mon!

This week's edition of "Throwback Thursday" is brought to you by:

Bravehearts' Suppository Laxatives:
"We shit on ourselves... So you don't have to!"

I didn't even have a TV when this video came out, so I was spared the horror for years. Now I wish I didn't have Blastro last night. I'm still traumatized as I write this, so please pardon any typos. "Oochie Wally" [watch it now], the leadoff single to the QB's Finest album (2000), finds the Bravehearts living out their hypersexual fantasies in a summer home literally converted into a harem.

How the fuck did we get here?

“Now all y’all done heard of me. I’m Ronnie Mexxx./
I done said thangs them bitch niggas scared ‘ta.”

Sorry… I had to.

Today’s selection is the re-edit and re-issue of C-Murder’s new video from lockdown “Y’all Heard Of Me” [watch it now]. Featuring fellow N.O. legend B.G. aka B-Gizzle (his official artist name), a man who is no stranger to publication of his shortcomings, this video provides an interesting parallel between the streets of New Orleans and the prisons many of their residents find themselves locked inside.

Say goodbye to Busta Rhymes, people. He may be gone forever.

"Don't cha wish Busta still had a soul?"

That's how I feel watching Busta Rhymes' latest public relations mistake in this feature on the Pussycat Dolls' new TRL-Banga (heh heh) "Don't Cha." [watch it now] Busta's come a long way from being that raw, gritty, exciting burst of lyrical energy that made us sit through some painfully mediocre Leaders of the New School tracks.

“I never take shots… at legends.â€"That’s just something I don’t do.” â€" The Game

*sigh* I gotta do it.

If you loved A Tribe Called Quest as much as I did growing up, then this review will probably hurt you to read as much as it did for me to write. One of the greatest misnomers of all time, Ali Shaheed Muhummad’s new single and video “Banga” [watch it now] is probably the saddest shit I’ve seen since watching that new corny ass yellow nigga host Rap City. (Seriously… That jigapoo actually makes me want Big Tigger back.)

"DE PLANE, BOSS! DE PLANE!"

No, that wasn’t Tatu (R.I.P. to lil homie), that was one of Fitty’s “bitches.” Welcome to 50 Cent’s Fantasy Island! His newest video “Just A Little Bit” [watch it now] looks like the rest of Girl-Unit’s recent videos, but has a special misogynistic twist that I’m sure every female fan will love!

*Cue Radio Announcer Voice*
BACK IN THE DAY! NEW YORK CITY! 2002!

For our first “Throwback Thursday,” I’m gonna stay true to form and use a video that isn’t even 3 years old! Just like The Negro Channel and your local hip-hop-flavored radio station do! This week’s lucky contestant? Ja Rule feat. Bobby Brown â€" “Thug Lovin’.” [watch it now]

Ja Rule & Bobby Brown in the same video? Oh shit! This is too easy!

Following up his latest video “Hate It Or Love It,” which featured his boss/arch rival 50 Cent, Game provides another offering full of powerful imagery. His newest video "Dreams" [watch it now] proves to be his most cinematographically sound to date.

Stop lookin’ at me like that! Yes, I’m giving the man some props.

Disclaimer: Will Smith is a CORNY ASS NIGGA!

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, on with the review of the Fresh Prince of Hollywood’s latest effort "Switch" [watch it now]

From the legendary duo that brought us such hip-hop classics as "Whistle While You Twurk" and "I Yi Yi" comes another record sure to change the trajectory of the genre, "Wait (The Whisper Song)." [watch it now]