With Snoop and The Game awaiting trial on separate felony charges, yet another hip hop artist (and I’m using that description very loosely in this case) from the West Coast had court last week, and will be in the courtroom again on June 28th for his pre-trial hearing.
After being pulled over in March following a minor collision, the porkchop patrol found rapper Taboo from The Black Eyed Peas (for those who don’t know, he’s the Mexican one who wears capri pants and pirate headwear all the time) to be in possession of 28 grams of marijuana (daaaamn!) and prescription medications that weren’t in his name.
Although he was not present in court last Friday, Taboo- whose real name is Jaime Luis Gomez -entered a plea of not guilty via his his lawyer. Unless there was any unlawful search and seizure- which is probably not the case if he was driving under the influence, as they allege -I’m not really sure how he’s gonna pull this one off.
If convicted on either or both of the counts he’s being charged with, Taboo will face no jail time and will pay a maximum fine of $200. Hopefully he does something worse in the near future and gets sentenced to a ten year bid, which will hopefully stress Will.i.am out to the point of O.D.ing on a mixture of cocaine and oxycontins, which will hopefully, in turn, cause Fergie and the other guy to sign a suicide pact which they will carry out by simultaneously shooting each other in the face. Thus, no more Black Eyed Peas, the troops come home from Iraq, homelessness and hunger throughout the world instantly disappears, cancer gets cured, everyone’s credit card debt is forgiven, 2pac comes back from his ten-and-a-half-year vacation in Guam, and the Fugees get back together and make the album of the decade.
So let’s keep our fingers crossed.
