Written By Biko
So yesterday I touched down in Denver for the Democratic National Convention around 3 pm and have pretty much been drinking ever since. I'm not really a big drinker, but it's sort of tough to abstain when people keep throwing drinks at you. And let me tell you, the folks from the Service Employees International Union, the Young Democrats of America and the Congressional Black Caucus are really good at throwing drinks at people. But enough about me and my drunken exploits at the convention, check the run down on Joe Biden:
As most of you guys know, last week Barack Obama picked Joe Biden to be his running mate. If you've been following this blog you know that I think Obama should have picked Hillary Clinton. After all, he is now tied with John McCain in just about every major poll after being in front by nearly 10 points. In fact, I was watching CNN this morning and they highlighted that there has been a significant backlash from Hillary supporters who are mad that Obama didn't pick HRC. I guess nearly 30% of her supporters say that they are going to vote for McCain. YIKES!!! But I guess Obama knows what he is doing.
So in the spirit of coalition building and winning I've decided to put together a list of "The Top 5 Things You Should Know About Joe Biden." Hopefully this list will help America make the right choice on election day. If not, I'm moving to Canada.
1. Joe Biden Thinks Obama is a "Clean" and "Articulate" Negro
In 2007, Joe Biden said that Barack Obama was, "The first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy." Although he later apologized for these insensitive comments, I think that Joe Biden might have just got his Ebonics confused. I mean he prolly heard that Outkast jam "So Fresh and So Clean" and figured he was complimenting Young Barry.
2. He Was One of the Earliest Supporters of The War
In 2002 Biden was one of the earliest supporters of the war. He later said he made a mistake and has actually been working hard to stop the war. Hopefully he won't flip flop if Obama gets elected. I mean that new HBO mini series Generation Kill has really been convincing me that it's not cool to be killing Iraqi children.
3. He Use to Stu...Stu...Stutter...Mu'f@cker
Like James Earl Jones, Van Jones and Marilyn Monroe, Joe Biden overcame a childhood stuttering problem. A lot of people make fun of stutters, but not me. I mean, I never had a speech problem but I can just imagine how scared stutterers have to be when they step to the mic. Props to Joe Biden for getting over his problems.
4. He Was One of the Youngest Politicians to Ever Get Elected to The US Senate.
In 1972, at the age of 29, Joe Biden was elected to the US Senate. Can you imagine having that much confidence to think that you could actually be a Senator before you turn 30?. Most of ya'll are just learning to piss straight. (Sorry to all the female readers for the super insensitive male reference but I have too big of a hangover to think of any other cool metaphors.)
5. He is an Old White Guy From Delaware
I'm not sure if any of you guys noticed it or not, but Joe Biden is an old white guy. And although he grew up in Scranton, PA, he spent most of his formative years in Delaware. I'm sure that he doesn't have a lot of constituents of color, but Obama prolly figured that it was a good idea to have an old white guy on his team. After all, what would the White House be with out an old white guy working there.
[Editor Note: The views of this blog do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]