http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/ en Copyright 2008 Fri, 16 May 2008 11:10:50 -0500 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Continued from Don't Believe The Hype It’s official. My new book, my memoir is available in bookstores across America, Hiding In Hip Hop – On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood. I would like to thank all of the people who ordered the book and sent me the many well wishes for writing my story, our story. Thank You! For those of you who have not gotten your copy, get yours soon, it is an amazing and powerful story, and definitely one that will be a continuous discussion in our community and world years from now. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man_4.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man_4.html ...of a Down Low Man Fri, 16 May 2008 11:10:50 -0500 Continued from Signs Of The Times In my book, Hiding In Hip-Hop, I talk about something that has been well-known in the industry, COVER GIRLS! You may refer to them as ‘beards,’ but I like to call them COVER GIRLS. Why? Because these women know the role they have to play in being with a down low celebrity in the entertainment business.]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man_3.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man_3.html ...of a Down Low Man Thu, 15 May 2008 10:38:13 -0500 Continued from Ask The Right Questions, Get The Right Answers It’s official. Today is the day my new book, my memoir is available in bookstores across America, Hiding In Hip Hop – On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood. I would like to thank all of the people who ordered the book and sent me the many well wishes for writing my story, our story. Thank You! For those of you who have not gotten your copy, get yours soon, it is an amazing and powerful story, and definitely one that will be a continuous discussion in our community and world years from now. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man_2.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man_2.html Tue, 13 May 2008 15:09:42 -0500 Continued from Making It A Family Affair I was feeling jubilant over my relationship with Preston. Things seemed to be moving in a positive direction. I began to let my own guard down more with him. He was that captivating for me. Preston was very attentive, a listener, a great conversationalist, and a phenomenal lover. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I didn’t, and I would pay for it soon enough. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/i_was_feeling_jubilant_over.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/i_was_feeling_jubilant_over.html Mon, 12 May 2008 12:21:13 -0500 Continued from You Going To Answer That? Let’s get something straight right now. When something is not right, and I get this nagging gut feeling about someone I am with, I follow that instinct. The thought just doesn’t appear out of nowhere. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man_1.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man_1.html Fri, 09 May 2008 10:33:31 -0500 Continued from Stranger At My Door Now that I have your attention – I hope you didn’t think I was just going to penetrate you long, hard, and deep without dropping some knowledge and inspiration on you. I really do hope you get to know me a little better than that. Don’t worry I am going to get back to the tall, handsome – No! FINE, good-loving specimen of a professional athlete named Preston. But, first I want to make sure you all understand something. It’s important that everyone reading this is clear about a few things. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/now_that_i_have_your.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/now_that_i_have_your.html Thu, 08 May 2008 11:39:44 -0500 Continued from Hide & Seek - 'He Was Nowhere To be Found' I couldn’t get Preston out of my head that night. I tossed and turned. Reliving every moment we shared in the club. The next day, no, the next night, couldn’t get here fast enough. Hurry, hurry, hurry. I needed to see him. Sure enough the next night. He was there. This time he spotted me and quickly came over. He introduced himself again. ‘Preston’ he said. I smiled from ear to ear. Preston’s large thick hands cupped mine. His touch was energetic. I felt a shock in my groin. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/confessions_of_a_down_low_man.html Wed, 07 May 2008 10:16:42 -0500 Ladies and Gentleman, allow me to introduce myself – my name is Terrance Dean and I am the author of the upcoming book, “Hiding In Hip Hop….On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood.” It is a memoir of my life as a down low/gay man in the entertainment industry. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/_ladies_and_gentleman_allow.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/05/_ladies_and_gentleman_allow.html ...of a Down Low Man Mon, 05 May 2008 16:38:28 -0500 Continued from 360 Degrees: Who Says You Can't Go Home Again? BD had accused me of anything he could think of in his certification to the court. We both had to write up letters summarizing our cases and his was complete fiction. He was asking for sole custody of our son, saying that my parenting would be “detrimental” to our child. I was furious. It was a feeling I still wish I could have felt about a year and a half earlier. I think back on some of those events and it all too surreal, like it was somebody else going through all that. I can’t even imagine it being me. How could it have been me? People who know me insist I wasn’t myself at the time. “It was like you were somebody else,” a friend told me. That sentiment was echoed by others.]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/the_end_is_only_the_beginning.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/the_end_is_only_the_beginning.html ...of a Single Mom Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:30:00 -0500 ...Continued from Psyching Out the Psych In the midst of waiting on our court date, agonizing over the psychologist's report, and still having to deal with BD's antics -- He'd began following me every week when we exchanged our baby at the train station, trailing me to my car or my train depending upon how I was traveling that day. It didn't stop until I involved a police officer and produced our court order. He threatened to haul him in for domestic violence. Yes, domestic violence as he was intimidating me and disobeying the court order by sticking around past our exchange. He said he wanted to make sure his son was "safe." He just wanted to see who I was riding with, if I was riding with anybody. -- It seems I'd come full circle. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/360_degrees_who_says_you_cant.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/360_degrees_who_says_you_cant.html ...of a Single Mom Fri, 28 Mar 2008 09:30:00 -0500 Continued from Studying First Impressions, Analyzing Second Thoughts My first visit with the psychologist was horrible. Her office was fairly friendly and unintimidating. There was a bookshelf of toys and puzzles for children right next to the large, comfortable sofa I sat on. She was seated across from me in a recliner, shoes off, feet up and note pad in hand, with reading glasses on her nose. I relaxed a bit. Her Birkenstocks lie abandoned on the floor. She wore capris and wild, red curly hair. She looked to be about the age of 60 and she struck me as a bit of a hippy. Not at all what I'd expected. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I'd arrived an entire hour early for the visit and used the time going over my notes in the car. Perhaps I'd over analyzed, becasue it seemed that from the very introduction, the tears began to fall. And I sobbed. Uncontrollably, I mean. I boo hoo'd like a baby.]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/psyching_out_the_psych.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/psyching_out_the_psych.html ...of a Single Mom Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:30:00 -0500 Continued from Round One: And the Winner Is ... I spent the next 30 days between the library and that friendly lawyer's office back home. I read everything I could get my hands on about preparing for a custody trial and successfully getting through a psych evaluation. We'd both been ordered to visit a court appointed psychologist who, after several one-on-one visits with both of us and one visit with each of us along with the child, the doc would enter a written report detailing her findings and recommendations to the court. It's not the only thing the judge would rely on in making her decision, but she would depend on the psych's words heavily. I was not at all confident.]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/studying_first_impressions_ana.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/studying_first_impressions_ana.html ...of a Single Mom Wed, 26 Mar 2008 09:30:00 -0500 Continued from You Got Served ... With a Court Order ... Not me. At least it didn't feel like that, the day I was forced to hand my baby over to BD and leave the courthouse without him. You really shouldn't talk about matters like this in the sense of winners and losers, but it was hard not to feel that way. From the moment we walked in, the building was filled with opponents and challengers. Prosecutorial attorneys, defense lawyers, plaintiffs and defendants, all supposedly working together in the best interest of whatever poor, unfortunate child was caught in the middle of a pair of parents' mess. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/round_one_and_the_winner_is.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/round_one_and_the_winner_is.html ...of a Single Mom Tue, 25 Mar 2008 09:30:00 -0500 Continued from Plan B: Running The drive home was long, the car was packed down and cramped and I could hardly move my arms, pinned against the window in the back seat next to the baby in his car seat. But he slept peacefully and obliviously. What I wouldn’t give for innocence like that. To just lie back in my seat, knowing nothing of the turmoil surrounding me, trusting that it would be taken care of and I would be unconditionally loved and blameless. A million miles from reality. I was in for the fight of my life and there would be no tag team. You know how in tag-team wrestling, how the guy can tap his partner and then the other dude comes in the ring and fights for him, before switching off again? The battle I was in for would have no such reprieve. (I am not a fan, by the way. My grandmother used to sit in front of the TV with a beer watching wrestling for hours). ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/you_got_served_with_a_court_or_1.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/you_got_served_with_a_court_or_1.html ...of a Single Mom Mon, 24 Mar 2008 09:30:00 -0500 Continued from Time to Start Packing. Again My mom and my aunt flew out a few days later to help me get my business in order and prepare to leave. My uncle was supposed to have come, but couldn’t at the last minute. There are people in much worse situations than mine who don’t have people in their lives who are willing to drop everything for them, take a few days off of work and come out of pocket because a loved one needs something. I was thankful for having that kind of support and finally ready to make use of it. They’d both been vehement about my staying home the first time, trying their hardest to convince me. For all the people who have since told me you can’t talk reason with an unreasonable person, my mother was the first. ]]> http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/moving_to_plan_b_bd_knows_im_l.html http://blogs.sohh.com/confessions/2008/03/moving_to_plan_b_bd_knows_im_l.html ...of a Single Mom Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:30:00 -0500