Ladies and Gentleman, allow me to introduce myself â€“ my name is Terrance Dean and I am the author of the upcoming book, â€œHiding In Hip Hopâ€¦.On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood.â€ It is a memoir of my life as a down low/gay man in the entertainment industry.
This is not my first book. My first book is â€œReclaim Your Power! A 30-Day Guide to Hope, Healing, and Inspiration for Men of Color.â€
I am a man of color who is committed to the empowerment of my community. I have traveled extensively to speak at colleges, universities, and organizations to share my own inspiring and empowering story. I am a product of my community, my environment, my family, and Hip Hop.
I am human. Flawed. Erred. Imperfect. Yet, I am on the quest to be a better person - a better man. And this blog is going to show you how human I am. You will get to know me, somewhat. This is a small part of who I am. This blog will be a reflection of many of you. Always on the journey to become better. Do better. Live better.
With that, I am sharing my confessions. These confessions are things I have and am currently experiencing with men I have met within the entertainment industry. Itâ€™s my Life. Love. And relationships â€“ the ones with many other down low/gay men in this business. Yes, it will be full disclosure. Graphic. Sexy. Hot. Sensual. Whew! I am getting flustered.
Last year, in an undisclosed location, okay, itâ€™s surrounded by water, and has the most beautiful men and women you have ever seen. Did I mention beautiful luscious men?
Well, me and a good friend, â€œCleverâ€ â€“ he represents many industry people, especially a talented lyrical rapper who is featured on damn near every record currently out, and a balladeer who is the king of songs â€“ Clever and I were chilling up in one of the hottest clubs in this city on a Friday night. It was packed from wall-to-wall. Men and women were grooving and gyrating to the beats filtering through the air.
*Here is a sidebar note about my boy Clever. He is well-known in the industry. He is very friendly, outgoing, and has a warm personality. One thing though, he always seems to attract men â€“ gay and straight. I mean, I attract some men, but he always seems to attract an abundance of men. They flaunt and throw themselves at him, and many of them are the most straight heterosexual men.
Anyway, that is my boy Clever. Now back to my confession. I was at the bar getting my soda drink on and thatâ€™s when I spot him. He was across the room standing against the wall with a drink in his hand. He was bobbing his head to the Hip-Hop beats and surrounded by slew of bodacious women and physically fit men.
I couldnâ€™t take my eyes off him. He was absolutely gorgeous - Tall, caramel, chinky eyes, and a body that wouldnâ€™t stop. Damn, he was fine! I felt the temperature in my body rise. Lust was speaking and its low growl was whispering in my ears.
Then he looked over in my direction and smiled. OH SHIT!!! He caught me staring at him. I blushed and quickly turned away. My heart was racing. As I slowly turned back around to see if he was still in the same spot, he was making his way across the room in my direction. With that beautiful smile plastered across his face.
I literally almost shit my pants. I feigned a smile. He brushed up next to me. My heart was going a thousands beats per minute. He ordered a drink and then turned towards me. He leaned in and extended his hand. His lips grazed my ear sending a chill through my body, and he yelled his name.
The music was too loud and I couldnâ€™t hear him. I strained trying to understand what he was saying. I asked him to repeat his name three times. After the third time, I just nodded my head and shook his hand. â€œOh, whatâ€™s up? My name is Terrance,â€ I said to him.
â€Who are you here with?â€ He asked.
â€œIâ€™m with my boy.â€ I replied. His eyes were beautiful â€“ coal-like. They danced when he spoke.
â€œDo you want a drink?â€ He asked. The drink he ordered at the bar was for me.
â€œThanks.â€ I took a sip staring into his sexy inviting eyes.
He strolled away and went back to his crew. I asked my boy Clever if he knew the beautiful specimen of a man. Clever acknowledged that he did. â€œThatâ€™s â€˜Prestonâ€™ I havenâ€™t seen him in a while. Heâ€™s always on the road. He plays for ________.â€
Now, I am really excited. This professional athlete just approached me and how he did it was so smooth. No one noticed anything.
I continued to watch him from across the room. He raised and tipped his glass to me and smiled that perfect smile. I smiled back.
As the night got later and the patrons left the club, I noticed he and his crew departed. I searched feverishly throughout the club. Did he go to the VIP section? Nope. Did he go to the restroom? Nope. Was he upstairs? Nope. He was nowhere to be found.
I rushed to my friend Clever. â€œHeâ€™s gone,â€ I look at him desperately. â€œWhere did he go? We have to leave now. He may be outside.â€ I headed for the door frantically.
Clever laughed at me. â€œChill and relax,â€ he said. â€œTrust me. He will be here tomorrow night.â€
I couldnâ€™t wait until tomorrow. I wanted him now. I wanted to get to know more about this man. This fine man who sauntered over to me and made my heart flutter. Actually, I wanted to go home with him. Be with him for the night. My body was yearning for him. I was left feeling horny that night. But, as Clever said, he would be there tomorrow night.
Check back tomorrow as Preston pays Terrance a special visit.
Terrance Dean is the Author of â€œHiding In Hip Hop â€“ On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywoodâ€