You Made Your Bed, Now Lie In It
Posted on March 6, 2008 9:30 AM
Continued from All Things Done in the Dark …
The morning after my face-to-face with Digital, I woke up to text message alert from him on my Treo.
“Talkd 2 Serita last nite. U mite wanna reach out. Peace.â€
“What the f*ck? You called her!?†I asked aloud, sitting straight up in bed.
Now, I’m really sick. I know they talked me into the ground. I was dreading having the conversation with her though just as much as I was hating to have to talk to Digital, so I used his breaking the news as an excuse to put off calling Serita immediately. I decided I’d do it next week. Of course that week became another, and it would be almost a year before she’d finally hear an admission and apology from me.
Meanwhile, I’d gotten really good at compounding problems. What in the world put it in my mind that passivity is peace, I have no idea. But that’s where I was at the time. And after months of living together with BD and watching my belly become increasingly bigger, the new lifestyle became almost routine. I’d come to regard my misery as penance, necessary sacrifices to insure that my child was born into a two-parent home, however unhappy.
I didn’t chat with Ayana so much in the late evenings anymore, when BD was home. He hated gossip. Instead, we IMd all day at work.
BD also had his opinions about my younger sister. She called too much, she complained too much and she was wild. He didn’t want her babysitting.
My mother knew too much.
“You tell her everything. Why is she always calling here?†(By here, he meant my cell phone, mind you).
And then I had a flashback of a few years prior, right around the time when my girl Serita, (BD’s ex-girl, you remember) finally left him alone. She’d called me complaining about how he’d slowly tried to change everything about her, but lately he’d made some unacceptable requests.
“That nigga told me he wanted me to stop perming my hair and wearing make up. Is that fool crazy?†She’d told me.
We laughed about it hard and their relationship was over not two months later. I’d never heard of anything like that. I mean, are you serious? Stop wearing make up? And I don’t perm my hair, but if anybody asked me to stop using a flat iron we might have a problem.
I was really, really missing Serita right now. Sometimes BD would say things or do things that sounded exactly like the little dumb shyt she used to complain about and I used to laugh about.
I’d really given little thought to Serita’s plight at the time and just assumed she’d been exaggerating. Fast forward a few years. She hadn’t.
Here I was, scaling back on myself and falling off on my family.
My ballooning belly was more often used as a reason for me to stay in, or to only go out accompanied by BD. Driving was out of the question. And so it had begun, so slowly and seemingly innocently, that I didn’t even see that I was sinking until I was nearly out of air and I could not move. (Rather all my moves were tracked by BD).
The meals were all vegetarian now, he’d thrown away anything made with anything of any sort of animal derivative (and if you guys read labels, that’s damned near everything). And who knew there’s pork in jello, pudding, cheese -- unless it specifically says “plant†rennet. Just rennet is a pork product – body wash, cosmetics, and every f*cking thing else. I was beginning to lose my mind.
I felt absolutely trapped. On the one hand, this is the bed I made, right? And it’s nobody’s responsibility to lie in it but my own. On the other, life is long when you’re not happy. Don’t believe people who tell you it’s short. If you’re in a miserable situation, 10 months can seem like 10 years.
I served my time for a little less than two.
Check 1224 Confessions tomorrow as Melyssa runs for her life, and tries to ensure a better one for her son.
Get more Melyssa at GetYoShyt.blogspot.com and hit her up on Myspace.com/MelyssaGanache.
*All names have been changed to protect the guilty & the innocent.
Posted by Melyssa Ganache
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This sounds down right painful. Who was he to try to control him? And who where you to let him? My kids father was like this. Not about the pork etc, but tried to cut me off from my family in friends when we moved in together. Would run off with my car and when I was 6 months pregnant told me I was "not allowed to drive". WTF? He was tripping. But I saw the light very clearly with all that foolishness. I hope he still aint trying to run you, because that is a very sad life to live. You are exactly right when it seems like an eternity, and its only been a few months. I had it so that I would not even speak to my kids father. They would see his kids through there mother only. (love the blog)
Correction. He would see the kids through his mother, the girls grandmother. Bump all that. We didnt need to speak to each other for anything
Wow..first to post. That's never happened. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am totally addicted to this little blog/saga! This is bananas. But that last line has me wondering..." I can't wait until the next entry!
I don't know why you was scarred to tell your friend that you was fucking her ex . . .all she would have done is laughed at you for being so stupid.
This situation is just like warning a little kid not to touch the hot stove because they will get burned and after your warning the little kid goes ahead and touches the hot stove anyway.
You have to be the most dumbest bird alive. And your bastard child will always serve as a reminder of your stupidity
I feel your story ma. Relationships can cause this type of pressure but I can't help but co sign something you admitted: "this is the bed I made, right? And it’s nobody’s responsibility to lie in it but my own."
Don't get me wrong, I think you two trying to make it work is a good thing, however, the lil sh*t like eating what he eats, not talking to the fam, etc are things that you, whether you admit it or not, agreed to. Dude didn't put a gun to your head and tell you to eat the vegetarian only meals...
But you posts are good, I hope SOHH is paying the bills for these entry's!
WOW.....I just started reading this blog yesterday. I read all the stories and now I can't wait till tommorow to see what happened next. This is all too familiar to me..Not all of it but the "he wants you to change" type things...You are right you made your bed and now you have to lie in it. I just hope you realized that it was time to change the sheets.....
you right my opinion counts! and thats the problem! my opinion of you all is that you aint shit! its hillarious to me the way you are! but whatever! we gotta do this the hard way! then we gotta do this the hard way! goodluck and take care! for real for real! its beyond real at this point! goodluck and take care! for real for real!
and i gotta suffer because of that much jealousy! over a situation and money! i have always had to suffer out of jealousy! its beyond real to me! i dont ask for the attention or the accolades and they are there because of god not because of me! and look how much jealousy and envy it causes! you are beyond real! for real for real! goodluck and take care! what these woman did you need to take out on them! not me! what the technology revealed about you! you need to take that out on the nano makers! not me! goodluck and take care! next time point your anger in the right direction! for real for real! goodluck! its ignorance in the end that will get you! you bragging about killing my folks! stealing my kids! its beyond real! and they just letting you do it! day after day! they show what you have done! and its not a big deal! all to steal that money! its beyond real! for real for real! goodluck man! and take care! and whats funny is! you got paid beyond your dreams and your actions would have been the same, you still would have had sex with who u had sex with u still would have killed who you killed! its stupid! and i gotta suffer because of your life and the lives of these woman! i dont got aids! i didnt
Can somebody tell me what the hell Jonathan is talking about. Anyway good post shorty. You right buddy is kinda crazy but at the same time you crazy as hell too because you allowed the situation to get there and you was using him ( take that back ya'll was using each other) and it backfired.
First off, Who in the hell is Johnathan and what the hell is he talking about. At first i was like is This BD but i doubted plus what his talking about is just off the wall.
Anyway *rolling her eyes* @ DJ there we go with that gun to the head. Everything isnt blk and wht. Not sayin that she shouldnt/didnt take respondsibility in the end the bottom line is her. But its not easy and its harder to realize when things happen slowly. Or u dont even see until you are already out the situation like most ppl.
Thats crazy tho, dude was a control freak....its alot of those assimilating into regular society acting like they are normal and everything lol.
This just goes to show u how easily chicks fall for a good D game. Now u got a baby by this crazy ass tree hugging nigga. U should holla at a Marine, we don't give a fuck about plants and shit. We through puppies off of cliffs.
Still loving this blog :-)
Bobby Drake you are ingnorant and you just made the marines look bad.
Melyssa is right she made her bed now it's time to lie in it. She made the choice to mess with her best friend's ex and her boyfriend's friend. Her friend told her how BD was acting towards her and she still messed with him. Sometimes a night time of passion or whatever they had isn't worth it.
YALL ALL KNOW THAT THIS IS GYANTS NEW BLOG RIGHT!!
When is the next "confession" being posted?
First off @ Bobby Drake, I'm convinced all of yall Marines, Navy, etc are INSANE WOMAN-BEATERS!!! Anyway, this is a scenario seen all 2 often by women. Its a sad and painful road. Cuz you learn from this that the "relationship" on the whole was never about u and ALWAYZ about him. she chose to be with him, true. BUT what he is doing to her unadulterated mental and emotional abuse. its starts with isolation from your family. Its all a mind game. she chooses to go along with the situation becuz if she doesn't he'll start to make her feel bad and try to convince her ALL this is her fault and SHE is the problem. Not owing up to his own insecurities and control issues.
@ Babidahl
It seems that you are making excuses for her. Again SHE chose to be with him she just a crazy. Cuz at the first sight of problems she should have been out and besides that she was messin with his best friend. I mean come on how much respect was he going to have for her anyway. In addition to that she was using him and he was using her. Its good that they're trying to make something out of nothing but at sametime don't try to put this all on BD. They both made silly situation. But ultimately it comes down to her cuz a dude aint sayin no to no.............YA DIG!!!
Comments written above do not represent the views or opinions of SOHH.com, 4CONTROL Media, Inc. or any of its affiliates. Comments may be deleted at our sole discretion.