The First Time: 'But He Didn't Hit Me'
Posted on March 12, 2008 9:30 AM
Continued from Anywhere's Better Than Here
I hate arguing in front of company. It’s so rude and inappropriate, right? It makes everybody uncomfortable, especially the guests. What’s almost just as bad though is silently feuding in front of people. You know how everybody can feel the tension, but nobody’s talking about it?
So my older sister came to visit me and the baby. She lives down south and had only seen him once since he was born so I was really excited about her coming up. Her scheduled arrival just happened to be in the middle of World War III at the house. In all honesty, I don’t even remember what we were arguing about -- Could have been one or a few of so many things – but I remember the fall out like it was yesterday.
It was early evening when Shay and her fiancé Mike (surprise!) got in. We sat around the apartment and caught up for a couple of hours before deciding to go out to dinner. BD had the car seat in the car so I called him and asked him to drop off the carrier. He was still angry from before and basically refused.
“BD are you serious? My sister and her fiancé are here and I can’t leave without the car seat. We’re trying to go to the Olive Garden.”
“My son’s not going to the Olive Garden!” He snapped before hanging up the phone. Madness.
Quick ironic sidebar here: I actually met him at the Olive Garden. Serita and I doubled; it was my first date with Digital and her first date with BD. Thinking back though, he didn’t eat anything. Just sat and drank lemonade and chatted. I guess over the years he’d become more staunch in his beliefs and not only would he now not eat in a restaurant that served pork, but he wouldn’t sit in one either.
I’d exited the living room with the fam and closed the bedroom to call BD. Shay poked her head in after a few minutes. It was apparent there was a problem.
“Don’t tell me he’s not bringing the car seat back,” She said knowingly. “In your car. Please don’t tell me that.”
“I dunno, he’s being a real jackass right now. He’s talking about he can’t get away,” I lied.
BD sometimes worked little stage hand jobs on the weekends. It’s as close as he’d come in recent years to his dreams of a career in the entertainment industry. Actually, I don’t even think he was working that night.
They sat around with me and the baby, seeming to be entertained for a couple more hours before finally giving up on BD’s return and heading out for food themselves.
“We’ll bring you something back, sis,” Shay said apologetically on their way out. She was trying to make the best, but it was already palpably awkward and it was going to be a long weekend.
BD didn’t come home that night. A first. I had no idea where he was or who he was with or what he was doing or why he hadn’t come back or at least brought my car back. He’d turned his phone off.
The next morning, he called my phone back to back, demanding that I open the door so he could shower, change and go to work. I was outdone. He insisted he’d slept in the car right out front last night, not wanting to come in because my sister and fiancé were there. I was incensed. Here I was covering for his asinine behavior all night, assuring my company every hour on the hour, “Oh he’ll be back. He doesn’t not come home …” in an attempt to make our crazy situation look half way normal and he goes and actually doesn’t show up. All night. And now what am I supposed to say when I open the door and he strolls in to get his shyt together and rolls out again? So I didn’t. The door was locked and latched and he wasn’t getting in.
Fast forward to that evening …
Déjà vu. Shay, her fiancé and I are again deciding upon a restaurant to have dinner. This time I won’t ask, I’ll just go. And I’ve decided, if BD doesn’t want the baby to go, he can stay home with him.
That’s not exactly the way things played out. This time, as it got later, I just asked Shay and Mike to leave.
“You guys go ahead,” I insisted, though they wanted to just order in. BD and I were gonna need some privacy to hash this out and I was really at the end of my rope. I wanted him to know it.
They left and when BD arrived, I layed into him.
“Who the f*ck do you think you are to embarrass me in front of my family!? I am so sick of your shyt!” Yes, all that. I was feeling pretty froggy.
I raged about his crazy need for power and lamented about my suffocated spirit.
He stood, seemingly unfazed, steely eyed and silent.
I threatened to leave him. I threatened to take our son.
With those words, it was as if a switch had been flipped and he pounced without warning,
Reaching me from across the room in one leap, grabbing my hair behind my head and ramming my face into the edge of a large stand-alone closet. It happened so quickly. I had no time to react, no time to even cower or cover my face.
The baby was sleeping soundly on the bed and I immediately went to him, when BD snatched him from under the sheet and held him to his chest. He had made it resoundingly clear, I would never leave him and if I did, it would be without my son.
My Treo chimed from the dresser. I’d told Shay to text me from downstairs when they got back. The buzzer was broken and I’d have to go down and open the door for them.
I touched my mouth, feeling for damage and looked at the blood on my fingers.
"I didn't hit you," BD said defensively.
He was scared I'd run and tell my sister what he'd done. Expose him. But I didn't want anyone to know any more than he did.
Check back tomorrow as more drama ensues.
Got a story to share? Holla at Melyssa via video.
Get more Melyssa at GetYoShyt.blogspot.com and hit her up on Myspace.com/MelyssaGanache.
*All names have been changed to protect the guilty & the innocent.
Next installment: Hiding the Truth
Posted by Melyssa Ganache
Post A Comment
Comments written above do not represent the views or opinions of Twelve24Girl.com, 4CONTROL Media, Inc. or any of its affiliates. Comments may be deleted at our sole discretion.
Comments
WOW! I am sooo sorry that happened to you. BD is an abusive controlling bully. No you understand fully why women have left him b4. He wants u to act the way he likes and he can treat u however. thats nt love. And as u can see he's still holding a grudge and making u "repent" for being with Digital that nite. He is an awful man. He doesn't know how to respect ANYONE....
We need more. You are just giving us a paragraph! I read these shits in like 2 minutes!
First of all, how in the hell is he not gonna bring you the car seat/base from out of "YOUR" car...BD really has some control issues and I would have left that A**hole a long time ago...I know that we all make some crazy choices at some point in our lives but this here is straight up BS..I feel for you Melyssa.
LMAO
That what happens when you fuck with bull . . . you get the horns.
I'm just surprised that he didn't lay the smack down on you sooner!!!!
RIP James Brown, Rick James, and Ike Turner...
I have soooo many questions..Why did he have YOUR car and he wasn't even at work? Why didn't you get your keys back when he came home in the morning? Your sister was there to back you up why didn't you act froggy then? Why were you trying to make family out of a mistake? You could have saved your self the abuse if you would not have tried to make this nut case your "make believe husband".
I'm lovin the story... I need more!
Wtf!! He does seem crazy and even though he didn't hit you, pulling your hair is still bad. But i love to read this and all your other things. Keep doing your thang girl.
I would have left his crazy ass 5 entries ago. SMH. Bless his mental heart. He's disgusting.
SEE I KNEW IT!!!!!
it was only a matter of time before u got ran up on. Since ur writing this story, i'm guessing he didn't kill u and drag u down stairs in a rug like Bobby Cutts Jr, but i know u prolly cut a few more hooks and jabs. U should learn how to react faster or duck or something.
I believe that every man needs his own personal in-home punching bag. How else is a nigga supposed to train himself for these harsh streets? The price for Gym memberships is sky high too. This will also teach the female to be tough out there in the streets too. Having your personal in-home female punching bag is a win win situation!!!!!
Shout out to Bishop Weeks - I see you homie!!!!
Well that’s what happen when you don't listen to your friend who told you he was crazy and you go behind her back and have sex with her ex boyfriend. Rules are not always meant to be broken.
All i wanna know is were u guys still bonning when all this madness was happening. From the time he embarassed u at work, called the white lady "the devil" till now.
I feel bad for you, homeboy "real special", please put his name up so you can help the next girl or girls. Cause u know somebody gon take a chance on him.
Oh SJ,
I didn't act out in front of my sister bc I didn't want her, or anyone else for that matter, to know what was really going on. I was trying to make something out of nothing for a few reasons. I wanted my son to have his father; I didn't want to be a single mom and; I was in part attempting to cover up a mistake. If we at least constructed what looked like a family then our eff up wouldn't be so bad, right? We kinda tried to make it legitimate. Also, I think I equated single momdom with failure, with shame and I didn't want any part of that. I didn't want to be "one of those." That part was my own vanity. But it goes so much deeper than that. I went to extremes to keep up appearances while in this relationship. I don't even have enough time on this blog. I am so happy to be free of that madness. Ill put it all in the book tho :)
@ Godson,
No we weren't. Hadn't since near the time I found out I was pregnant. (Perhaps that was part of the underlying tension. LOL) No really, that nigga's just crazy. Im tryin to tell you.
Thx for reading.
Melyssa Ganache says...
@ Godson,
No we weren't. Hadn't since near the time I found out I was pregnant. (Perhaps that was part of the underlying tension. LOL) No really, that nigga's just crazy. Im tryin to tell you.
Thx for reading.
March 12, 2008 12:16 PM
Problem solved!!!
If you would have been doing your womanly duties of sexing your man, then most of the bullshit could have been avoided. And I don't want to hear you had to wait after giving birth to the baby bullshit because you still have a mouth to service your man with. I know I can come off a little raw but it is what it is. Both of yall niggas was more than likely sexually frustrated. Holding back the nookie is a no-no in any relationship, pregnant.or not.
PS - I like how you failed to mention that part of the story, but listed all of BD's faults. Like the person, who corrected me yesterday, said "there's 3 parts to every story. Your version, there version, and the truth!!"
I'm happy your out of that madness too. I've been there and did that except I was a fighter, I didn't take a** whoopins well. He was my Child's father and Guess what?? 12 years later he's still her father, they have a good relationship and I didn't have to go through years of abuse to secure their relationship.
Ladies walk away at the first sign of abuse!!!
SJ, you inspired me to blog about it. http://getyoshyt.blogspot.com/2008/03/with-this-ring.html
@ hate hate and more hate
LOL......I'm not going there with u today...But I will say this..."I WISH A NI**A WOULD". Nothing gives no man any right to put his hands on a woman. Period point blank. I gew up watching my father hit on my mom. One time when I was in high school, him and my mom got into really bad I couldn't stand there and watch my mother go through that any longer so me and my sister litterally jumped on his A**. So It was 3 against 1....Well guess what after the A** whooping he took from us, he never put his hands on my mother again. They eventually separated but that was all due to him not being able to control her any longer.....So I can relate to the control shit with Melyssa cause I saw my mother go through it when I was growing up. That isn't anything for kids to witness. For so many years I thought my mom was weak and just stupid, but when you love someone and want it to work for the "KIDS" you'll put up with a lot of SH**....She eventually got the picture.
Keep doing what your doing!! A lot of women needs to hear the message!
Nice blog!
I'm just laughing at how he refused to bring back YOUR car... girl u're nicer than I am- coz I'd have called and reported that car stolen faster than you could say BD!!!..... PS.... people treat u the way you let them treat you!! I'm not saying it's ur fault he hurt you... I'm just saying u put up with his shit for way too long!!!.
cutienjersey says...
@ hate hate and more hate
me and my sister litterally jumped on his A**. So It was 3 against 1....Well guess what after the A** whooping he took from us, he never put his hands on my mother again. They eventually separated but that was all due to him not being able to control her any longer..... For so many years I thought my mom was weak and just stupid, but when you love someone and want it to work for the "KIDS" you'll put up with a lot of SH**....She eventually got the picture.
March 12, 2008 12:58 PM
Your mother wasn't stupid, she was a stand up woman. An old fashion woman, that can hold down the family, cook a good meal, suck a mean dick, and take a punch or 2 . . .sometimes the occasional choking.
Weak? hahaha, a woman that can do all that and push out 2 bratty ass daughters is hardly weak!!!
And I believe it was you and your sisters doing, as to why your parents separated. I hope the fact that you broken up a happy home haunts you the rest of your life. Shame on you!!!!
Shout out to OJ Simpson!!!!!
'But He Didn't Hit Me' is the title, but you do recognize that he hit you.
You was supposed to:
1. Pack the car w/ the kid in it.
2. Krazy Glue his dick to his leg.
3. Wake him up with a nice farewell BJ.
Adios.
Hate, Hate and more Hate says ...........
Your mother wasn't stupid, she was a stand up woman. An old fashion woman, that can hold down the family, cook a good meal, suck a mean dick, and take a punch or 2 . . .sometimes the occasional choking.
Weak? hahaha, a woman that can do all that and push out 2 bratty ass daughters is hardly weak!!!
And I believe it was you and your sisters doing, as to why your parents separated. I hope the fact that you broken up a happy home haunts you the rest of your life. Shame on you!!!!
Shout out to OJ Simpson!!!!!
March 12, 2008 2:06 PM
You funny as shit dog
still LMFAO
Dare Lewis says...
'But He Didn't Hit Me' is the title, but you do recognize that he hit you.
You was supposed to:
1. Pack the car w/ the kid in it.
2. Krazy Glue his dick to his leg.
3. Wake him up with a nice farewell BJ.
Adios.
March 12, 2008 2:39 PM
I can understand giving a farewell BJ and stopping before I cum all in your eye. But crazy gluing my 3rd leg to my 1st or 2nd leg is cruel and unusual punishment. May you die a thousand deaths for saying that out of pocket shit!!!!
forget appearances, my BD tried that "crazy" stuff one time and he got a cellphone upside his head and he was walkn away from me. i cant deal with that. we wuda been SCRAPPING in that house.
@ Hate, Hate and more Hate
LMAO....YOU ARE SICK!!!!
Nah. Aint no nigga should ever feel the need to hit a woman. That shit aint cool!
At first it puzzling to me how such an intelligent man, could be such a nut case
Then I read that you denied him sex for over 9 months?
While living with him and wanting to support you and the child?
I would act like an azz to.
That was a stupid selfish thing for you to do.
And all my sympathy for you and your situation has left the building.
They woulda locked me under the jail cuz I woulda stabbed him.
Comments written above do not represent the views or opinions of SOHH.com, 4CONTROL Media, Inc. or any of its affiliates. Comments may be deleted at our sole discretion.