Calling It Quits, Kind Of
Posted on February 27, 2008 9:30 AM
Continued from Waiting For the Phone To -- Is that me? Oh -- Ring.
For all the passion he’d shown me the day I came in from Digital’s, BD didn’t really have it for me like that. He never had. I think he just wanted the end of our relationship to be on his terms.
And so he ended it.
“I was thinking we should give each other some space,†he began out of no where.
I was sitting on the floor, back against the futon sorting through credit card bills. I’d collected all the mail that had piled up in my neglected mailbox at my place and decided this was as good a time as any to take care of some long overdue business.
BD decided it was as good a time as any to tell me about Tykesha.
He’d never been the most tactful, but I gotta give it to him for honesty. He was brutal.
I stopped what I was doing and looked up at him, giving him my full attention.
“I mean,†he diverted his eyes, “It’s not like things have been going so well with us. And even you said from the beginning we are from two different worlds. It could never really work out.â€
I said. Love how he flipped that. Good stuff.
“If we are ever gonna meet the person that we are truly compatible with we can’t do it as long as we’re holding on to this,†he went on. "I mean, don't you want that for us?"
Where was all this good sense when I was apologizing for the moon being so far up in the sky and the world being round?
“I take it you’ve met that person,†I said even toned. I will not lose myself to emotion.
“I met someone …†he responded.
She was in one of his grad classes. She was a high school teacher, too, like he was. She was what my girlfriends and I call a “natural chick.†A strict vegan, she ate all organic, all the time and I guess didn’t need to be subjected to BD’s dinner time recitations on food and nutrition. Great. And apparently she already knew who Stokely Carmichael was.
Sidebar: How the hell that comes up in a regular person’s casual conversation, I have no idea but upon meeting BD, I’d never heard of Stokely Carmichael. BD, ever ready to improve the knowledge of his failing students quickly schooled me on the black activist even loaning me his autobiography, a history lesson I was actually grateful for, if not for his condescending tone.
Not only that, this Tykesha seems to “understand the struggle.†And that’s not my paraphrasing, BD actually said that.
“I mean, she understands me, she understands what I go through as a Black man, she gets the struggle.â€
Wow. As if the tracks I’d worn in my hair had weighted down my brain and kept me from grasping this concept. I was quiet. I wasn’t going to speak. I would not let my emotions overtake me.
BD once told me a white chick couldn’t service him on her knees. I’ma spare yall the exact words. We were talking about old experiences – Why? Never, never, never do that. Don’t do it – And I was telling him about this white boyfriend I had in high school. Why is that a standard question with brothers, “ever been with a white boy?†I dunno. Anyway, so yeah, I had. I mean the convo had been light, silly even. We’re reminiscing about shyt from before we even knew each other existed, but the white boy comment sent him into a rage. Anyway, I say that to say, apparently I was not so pale that he couldn’t be with me, but clearly not black enough for him to be with me. F*ck is that?
I proudly did not protest. I quietly stacked the envelopes I’d been ripping through and began criss crossing the room efficiently, pooling my stuff.
“I’m sorry, Melyssa,†he said almost genuinely. Perhaps he was.
“It’s okay.â€
“It’s not like we don’t enjoy each other’s company,†he continued. “I’d still like to be friends … but we know this isn’t really going anywhere.â€
Yeah, I’d known that, I guess. But funny how he wasn’t gonna let me go anywhere till he’d sealed the deal elsewhere.
I threw my stuff into a little shopping bag and grabbed my purse.
I guess the bitch had a car too because BD definitely had to work in the morning and this is not the move you make when you need a ride to work.
“Wait, don’t leave like this.â€
I guess he expected a heated exchange to ensue, some passionate plea.
“It’s okay BD, I’m not mad. I get it. You’re right.â€
I did get it. But I was livid.
I am not the china throwing, clothes ripping chick. If I had been, I would have. Also though, the irony here was kinda obvious. I wasn’t about to set myself up for him to tell me I brought this shyt on myself.
And though I’d worn my stone face like a champ, I was embarrassed. I was jealous. I felt betrayed and a bit confused.
Is he seriously trading up? Seriously? I am so f*ckin outta here. And he better not call me. Ever. I won’t talk to him. I won’t see him.
We hugged in the doorway and he told me not to be a stranger.
F*ck him. There is nothing in the world that will bring me back here.
Except a little blue plus sign.
Don’t miss 1224 Confessions tomorrow as Melyssa relives the realest day of her life.
Also, check out more Melyssa at GetYoShyt.blogspot.com and hit her up on Myspace.com/MelyssaGanache.
*All names have been changed
Next episode: Solitary Freedom: The Aftermath
Posted by Melyssa Ganache
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Comments
Let me get this right you got kicked to the curb after kissing BD's ass cooking vegan meal and shit, trying to patch things up. But then again you had old boys balls bouncing off your chin
I know you must have felt like shit . . oh well the punishment fits the crime. And to add insult to injury your now preggers by BD. . .lol @ you, you stupid bitch!!!!
Damn.............if this was a tv series,the ratings would be solid.A group of young actors should develop some of your material into a script,record some low budget quality episodes,and develop a following on YouTube.This is some good shit.Real life stuff normal people(men & women) can relate to.
I have heard this scenario a million times over. but what kills me is that he never fully committed to her! and further more like a typical black male does whatever he ash to to get her. when he does finally get her to himself, tries to change who she is to make himself comfortable, blames her for everything that is wrong in the relationship, expect her to kiss his ass in order to "repent" and its him that calls it off. Rise up black women! Don't stay in any relationship kissing any man ass. Remember U ARE THE PRIZE!
^^^ I would agree with you, but in this case it's the womans fault because she stayed out all night and fucked with her ex. It doesn't feel good when the shoe is on the other foot, does it? I don't want to hear that shit saying that they wasn't committed, because she should have thought of that before playing house with BD
Thats the problem yall tired-a**es thinking "playing house" equals full commiment. I'm shed some light, it doesn't mean sh*t except you are doing just that, playing. If she knew the relationship was more then bed-buddies, she would have went home.
I actually enjoy your writings...Im glad that your are sharing your experiences...because a lot of young women go thru this stuff on a daily basis...its about finding the right man for you and sticking with it because wrong choices lead to stuff like this....keep em coming.
BabiDahl says...
Thats the problem yall tired-a**es thinking "playing house" equals full commiment. I'm shed some light, it doesn't mean sh*t except you are doing just that, playing. If she knew the relationship was more then bed-buddies, she would have went home.
February 27, 2008 1:13 PM
Thats straight up bullshit!!!
Bed Buddies? Come on the bitch was cooking the nigga meals, vegan ones at that!!!! You can't tell me they wasn't nothing more than "bed buddies"
The bitch new they was "more then bed-buddies" because she was calling BD while she was over Digital's apartment, checking in and shit like a real girlfriend/wife would do when they are late.
She was also scarred when she came home the next day (after getting her back banged out) like a real girlfriend would be if they had done the dame
And finally she started catching feelings after he dumped his ass. So them being "bed-buddies" is bullshit.
Damn girl ur write well and am enjoyin the story. As far as what u did, that was trashy, ur on and off boyfriend's best friend and girlfriends ex. The whole thing was foul from the begining, can't wait to see what digital does when he finds out. I can understand it u were a teenager or really insecure, but if i were Digital regardless of what we had or have, what u did is UNFORGIVEABLE. I guess people make mistakes, hope u learn't.
And yeah, BD ain't shit, i hate to shit on a brother. But homeboy fucking up for everybody.
Well Bitches, you make some good points. LOL. What can I say, hindsight is 20/20. And tho there was no express commitment we were certainly, at times, playing like there was. Terrible. Kill the black robe shyt tho, unless you'd like to share some of your own dirt that is. If it's half as interesting, I'd love to hear it.
Thx for goin hard for me, Babidahl :) And you are so right, WE ARE THE PRIZE! How long did it take me to come to that?
Glad yall are enjoying the story.
If your single lets make it happen...
well even if your not single lets make it happen...
cause I know you might have loyalty issues...
but i still like your stories I look forward to reading the new one tommorrow
Melyssa Ganache says...
Kill the black robe shyt tho,
February 27, 2008 2:53 PM
Fuck robes, just kill all blacks. The only robe I wear is a white robe and I only wear that when I'm riding out with my KKK homies
FYI, "Uncle Ruckas" is "Hate Hate and More Hate" is "Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks." I dont get it. Why all the different internet personas? SMH
"I’ma spare yall the exact words."
Melyssa, if you don't mind, I'd like the EXACT words. You haven't held back so far, why now?
Yeah, Dare, I haven't held back much but what I have revealed I've tried to do with some tact. But OK.
So I told him about the white boy in high school and I absolutely could not believe his reaction. It was kinda crazy. So I aksed him some questions. (Because there is a community rumor that even the most go-hard/Black pride brother, while he may not marry a white chick, will definitely f*ck with one.)
So I asked him if he would ever have casual sex with a white woman he found attractive. (He did at least admit that there is a such thing.)
But he said No, he wouldnt sleep with her and that his father had warned him about white women when he was young, telling him that tho they may be atractive, they only "satisfy a man's most base desires." (I can quote that because I'll never forget that. It was really quite nuts).
I said, "What if she was gorgeous, smart, a humanitarian and she agreed with all of your racial conceptions, denounced her whiteness and was truly in love with you. (I know I know, I was really reaching but I was so stunned at his view point, I just really wanted to see how deep it went).
Anyway, he said "Hell no."
So I was like, "But she can't help she was born white. (LOL) What if on every other level the two of you clicked?"
And the clincher ...
"A white girl could not suck my d*ck."
Wow. This was right before the end. Dude is really pretty not right.
I have learned so much throughout this ordeal and am a much healthier and happier person to be rid of that relationship. Now I am fighting for the mental health of my son.
good shit, keep it comin melyssa, i can relate to tha "playin house" and no commitment, "you do you, umma do me," thang. Until you really ready to settle down with somebody you shouldn't feel an obligation to report to nobody bout whatchu do, where u been and all'lat, tha time yall spend together...is Just that, time apart is your own private thang. No need for questionin and answerin when it aint neccessary.
You've made my day! Thanks.
So I went back and read the first post, cuz all this black and white and down for the struggle talk confused the hell outta me. I know they say that there is no honor among thieves but after reading the first post, it seems like there's no honor among all these people that you're involved with, seeing the tangled web of people involved in this story.
I don't mean to be judgmental but I thought that some females knew better than to mess with they ex BF's friend. I know that I couldn't see myself messing with my nigga's ex-girl.....
*sigh*man do I know about that blue + sign and/or the 1.5 (maybe 2) lines..lol... like u said hindsight is clear as day... but oh well... it kills me how nuccaz act like they don't do shyt (until they get caught)... when in reality they do so much shyt ,then don't wipe their azz, and leave the evidence in their drawers... pshh... some of these judgmental comments on here have me seeing red...
Wow! Great writing! I was put on to this blog tonight and have read all the posts. I wish all these "holier than thou, my shit doesnt stink" people would get off their high horse. We all have stories and most arent pretty. So let's stop being judgemental on someone else's story, its REAL LIFE! If you're not living it it, you should. Cant wait to read the next post!
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