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...Continued from Psyching Out the Psych

In the midst of waiting on our court date, agonizing over the psychologist's report, and still having to deal with BD's antics -- He'd began following me every week when we exchanged our baby at the train station, trailing me to my car or my train depending upon how I was traveling that day. It didn't stop until I involved a police officer and produced our court order. He threatened to haul him in for domestic violence. Yes, domestic violence as he was intimidating me and disobeying the court order by sticking around past our exchange. He said he wanted to make sure his son was "safe." He just wanted to see who I was riding with, if I was riding with anybody. -- It seems I'd come full circle.

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Continued from 360 Degrees: Who Says You Can't Go Home Again?

BD had accused me of anything he could think of in his certification to the court. We both had to write up letters summarizing our cases and his was complete fiction.

He was asking for sole custody of our son, saying that my parenting would be “detrimental” to our child. I was furious. It was a feeling I still wish I could have felt about a year and a half earlier.

I think back on some of those events and it all too surreal, like it was somebody else going through all that. I can’t even imagine it being me. How could it have been me? People who know me insist I wasn’t myself at the time.

“It was like you were somebody else,” a friend told me. That sentiment was echoed by others.

Hide & Seek - 'He Was Nowhere To Be Found'

| 27 Comments

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Ladies and Gentleman, allow me to introduce myself â€" my name is Terrance Dean and I am the author of the upcoming book, “Hiding In Hip Hop….On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood.” It is a memoir of my life as a down low/gay man in the entertainment industry.

Stranger At My Door

| 28 Comments

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Continued from Hide & Seek - 'He Was Nowhere To be Found'

I couldn’t get Preston out of my head that night. I tossed and turned. Reliving every moment we shared in the club. The next day, no, the next night, couldn’t get here fast enough. Hurry, hurry, hurry. I needed to see him.

Sure enough the next night. He was there. This time he spotted me and quickly came over. He introduced himself again. ‘Preston’ he said. I smiled from ear to ear.
Preston’s large thick hands cupped mine. His touch was energetic. I felt a shock in my groin.

You Going To Answer That?

| 11 Comments

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Continued from Stranger At My Door

Now that I have your attention â€" I hope you didn’t think I was just going to penetrate you long, hard, and deep without dropping some knowledge and inspiration on you. I really do hope you get to know me a little better than that.

Don’t worry I am going to get back to the tall, handsome â€" No! FINE, good-loving specimen of a professional athlete named Preston. But, first I want to make sure you all understand something. It’s important that everyone reading this is clear about a few things.

Making It A Family Affair

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Continued from You Going To Answer That?

Let’s get something straight right now. When something is not right, and I get this nagging gut feeling about someone I am with, I follow that instinct. The thought just doesn’t appear out of nowhere.

Ask The Right Questions, Get The Right Answers

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Continued from Making It A Family Affair

I was feeling jubilant over my relationship with Preston. Things seemed to be moving in a positive direction. I began to let my own guard down more with him. He was that captivating for me. Preston was very attentive, a listener, a great conversationalist, and a phenomenal lover. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I didn’t, and I would pay for it soon enough.

Signs Of The Times

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Continued from Ask The Right Questions, Get The Right Answers

It’s official. Today is the day my new book, my memoir is available in bookstores across America, Hiding In Hip Hop — On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood.

I would like to thank all of the people who ordered the book and sent me the many well wishes for writing my story, our story. Thank You! For those of you who have not gotten your copy, get yours soon, it is an amazing and powerful story, and definitely one that will be a continuous discussion in our community and world years from now.

Don't Believe The Hype

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Continued from Signs Of The Times

In my book, Hiding In Hip-Hop, I talk about something that has been well-known in the industry, COVER GIRLS! You may refer to them as ‘beards,’ but I like to call them COVER GIRLS. Why? Because these women know the role they have to play in being with a down low celebrity in the entertainment business.

Speak Up And Speak Out

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Continued from Don't Believe The Hype

It's official. My new book, my memoir is available in bookstores across America, Hiding In Hip Hop - On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood.

I would like to thank all of the people who ordered the book and sent me the many well wishes for writing my story, our story. Thank You! For those of you who have not gotten your copy, get yours soon, it is an amazing and powerful story, and definitely one that will be a continuous discussion in our community and world years from now.

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